i went my mothers home this afternoon and things
weren't horrible, but weren't fine neither. just emotional
neglect and average "mind your own business but we love you"
conversations.
 
i just need to accept that i don't belong there, never did
and i need to find a place and a group where i feel
safe, free and belonging. i still love them and probably
always will, but i won't let it harm me no more. i can't

in less difficult things going on with my life, i got to
meet up with a school friend yesterday. it was joyful speaking with
him and sharing thoughts and feelings about things we still
have in common.

i need to rest a bit 
and keep carrying on