I sense something stupid brewing. % How exactly is this a "lol" situation? % Save collapsing wavefunctions: don't look at me! % You can't write me, I :q! % There are some things in ascensions zorkmids can't buy. For everything else, there's Platinum Yendorian Express Card. % My Sierpinski sense is tingling. % I'm not random -- I'm just rand(). % What can happen once can happen again. % If there's nothing out there, what was that noise? % We apologize for the inconvenience. % Should I panic now or later? % Once is an accident; twice is a coincidence; three times is a conspiracy. % This space intentionally left blank. % Don't swing your lanyard! % This is not the message you are looking for. % There's plenty of room at the top, once everyone who's already up there has killed everyone else out of sheer paranoia. % I eat free lunches for breakfast. % ++++++++++>+>+..<<[>[->+>+<<]>.[-<+>]>[-<+>]<<<-] % By the time you're done, a sixth of my life'll be over. % It's not that I'm lazy; it's that I just don't care. % 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 % Your cryptic message fills me with a nameless dread. % For, if possible, let it be so. % You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means. % There is no magic in this world. % Am I really paranoid, or is that just what they want me to think? % All the good .signatures were taken. % Expect the absurd and you'll always be bored. % teh intrarwebs: where reality goes to die % Reinventing the wheel now will help you invent the hyper-wheel later on. % The irony is delicious & rich in vitamin D. % Will work if threatened with nasty knife % () ascii ribbon campaign - against html e-mail /\ www.asciiribbon.org - against proprietary attachments % Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? % We cannot gauge the usefulness of the mysteries of the universe until they are no longer mysteries. % Great achievements aren't as notable when they go according to plan. % And a fishy enclave to you, too! % Lurker extraordinaire % Any & all advice contained in the above post is subject to variance, especially with regards to mileage. Following said advice may cause multiple-personality disorder, zero-personality disorder, ravenous grue attacks, dystopian futures, utopian pasts, sudden loss of life & limb, sudden gain of extra limbs, duct tape fixation, inflammation of the toothbrush, stupid clichéd lists, and death. % Don't sully this moment with your price-taggery. % I prefer the hands-on touch you only get with hired goons. % Don't bring your fancy math into this! % Your broken corpses will taste delicious lightly seasoned with nutmeg. % Could you be more specific with your criticism? % The first subliminal message is always to not notice that there are any subliminal messages. Therefore, if you think you see any subliminal messages, please disregard them, as it means you haven't been exposed to the first one yet, and so the subliminal messaging can't have reallyFnordbegun. % That's the problem with great minds thinking alike -- whenever you come up with what you think is a great idea, there's a chance that someone else has already beaten you to it. % % This message almost certainly contains confidential information that is the sole property of Arrogant Bastards, Inc. It is intended only for the individual or shadow organization to whom it is addressed. If you have received this message in error, please distribute it amongst all your friends and laugh at the ineffective claims of property & confidentiality attached. Thank you. % A pencil is only as good as its eraser. Literally. Anyone can shove graphite into a stick of wood, but it takes real skill to keep the little rubber bit from drying up or falling off before the pencil's even out of the box.