23 Apr 2025 Wed

i called a friend tonight because i dreamt of her,
this morning. i saw her reclined on a chez lounge, in
our attic. she was shuffling some photographs around
across her stomach, and she said there was some kind 
of discomfort, maybe in her belly. 

before this, a different dream, my partner had been on the 
phone with her. i didn't want him to think i was hovering, 
so i hastily traipsed upstairs. he followed me, and sat 
with his back touching mine. i felt very loved.

on the phone a bit ago, she said, you may not be far off.
i have been staying in my friend's half-finished attic. she 
said, many people have been reaching out, unexpectedly. 

yesterday i was awash in slugpools of shame and dark losingness.
then, a friend wrote me a message that slipped over me like 
blossoms of bright rain. a hand, another chance, 
absolution.