The cat is gone
She normally comes back
a couple days
after I return

The deer is eating the compost
It doesn't like it too much
and walks away

The mice have taken over
the house
I trapped 3 yesterday night
I would have caught more but the
trap was slightly mis-adjusted.

I've never seen 2 mice running
away together. I feel like there
are a lot of them. I'll have to
setup many traps over many days.

The house feels abused, empty, not
mine anymore. I'm home, alone, and sad.

We're just back from a 5 day
festival. 

My daughter had her first public
show, djing in front of a decent
crowd. People loved it, she is
now part of the show. She loves
it. Bathing in her fame for a
couple days. There was a lot of
love during that festival. I
connected with a lot of humans.

I taught a workshop on male
sexuality. It was quite welcomed,
and I see this work to be really
important. It was more of a talk
with some meditation in between.
I was hoping for more of a
conversation, but once I was done
talking and leading 3
meditations, we were already over
the time limit.

The talk started with the state
of the running gag of the male
performance and the male
genitals, then the over abundance
of pornography. The shame and the
guilt of male sexuality in our
culture. Then I went through the
Kundalini system, the Taoist
micro orbit meditation, the multi
orgasmic male, keigle and using
sexuality as a spiritual
practice. We talked about desire,
greed, frustration, and how to
channel one's energy. I touched a
bit about transformation, and how
cultivating energy will change
your life, you have to be ready
for that change. 

I had a few naps in my hammock on
the side of the Lazy River.
During these moments, I felt that
my integration of the previous
weekend wasn't completed. I think
it will take a lot of time to
come back from this. I want to
numb myself, I want to get back
into that state. The festival was
a good place for me to share with
people who had similar
experiences. It's a first step of
integration, sharing, talking
with others of the experience.

A friend offered me some buffo. A
secretion of a toad which produce
DMT. We planned to go up the
river and have a short ceremony
there. The rain decided otherwise
and I was relieved it didn't
happen. As excited as I was, I felt
that might be a bit too much with
how my mind has been. It might
have been the best I could ever
do too! We're planning to have a
session here in the future.

I connected with a lot of people,
from the Okanagan, from Victoria,
from the Kootenays. There is
always a lot of excitement at the
festival itself, but generally
very little follow up. I wouldn't
be surprised if no one would ever
contact me again. There were a
lot of interest in Thai Massage,
I should really get back into
that game. I really enjoy giving
massage, and it's one of the
'prongs' of my next step in life.
Massage, meditation, tattoo,
synth sound journey, maybe talks
about male sexuality? Anything
that gets me away from the
computer.

The body feels good, I danced a
lot. I'm planning to get back
into a simple rhythm, staying
home and quiet for a while,
healing the body, integrating the
experiences, getting back into
regular practices. I reflected a
lot during the travel about how
to stay healthy on the road. I
tend to simply go for a slow
crash, knowing I'll be back home
at one point. This is not
sustainable if I want to be more
on the road. How to develop a
caring practice while I'm at
festival and partying? My
daughter definitely sees our
future to be more about festival
all summer long with her dj gear
and my massage setup.