My brain needs a bit of a break.

Going without coffee this
morning, we'll see how this will
go. I already feel lethargic. I
was fine for a while, meaning
that it was giving me a good
boost without having a side
effect in the afternoon. But
lately I realize that my brain
is getting really sluggish
around 2pm.

In the past, I gave up coffee for
many years. I really disliked the
2pm crash, and I didn't want to
drink another coffee. I remember
meeting this electrician,
drinking coffee all day:

"Coffee and smokes all day, until
you start drinking and smoking
weed in the evening."

I really dislike when you need to
double down on some drugs that
give you a boost. I'd rather just
perform without the boost, it
last longer. We were picking
apple in the Okanagan one year,
and at the beginning of the
season we were smoking weed. We
had to smoke weed to start
picking apple. But then when the
buzz stopped, we had to take a
break and smoke again, all day
long! 

I quickly realized that this was
fairly useless. I wasn't picking
that much faster, but I needed to
keep being stoned if I wanted to
keep up on the same rhythm.

I have to say that I don't
particularly like drugs. Sugar,
nicotine, caffeine, ketamine,
cocaine, alcohol,  I've had them all and
it's not that exciting at the end
of the day. It's a boost, but
then you have the down. I
remember a video comparing drugs
and psychedelic, explaining how
drugs fixes something for a
moment, but then reality hits
back. While psychedelics fixes
deeper issues, and then you feel
better or your life is better
after that. I have to agree with
this.

Green tea and magic mushroom
sounds like a nice mix! I think
I'll do that for a while. 

Now that I'm trying to stop
coffee, it will mess up my guts
for a while. I'm thinking I
should have a quick fast early
next week, using castor oil to
start the process, a bit of a
reset.

I almost signed up for a MDMA
retreat, in a couple weeks.
It was a little too expensive
for my budget right now, and I
though I could make my own retreat.

Fasting, relaxing, cold plunge,
sauna (at a friends place), a day
of magic mushroom exploration and
hiking to the canyon. Total cost
of 5$ for the shroom and probably
2$ of castor oil. I'd probably
have some miso soup too, and
green tea, so lets round this
retreat price to 20$, a hundred
time cheaper! 

I also have some volcanic rock on
the land, and I could build a
sweat lodge...

The idea of the retreat was also
to see some people though. But
that might not be the best
intention, "let's go to a MDMA
retreat to meet some girls." I am
not even sure I really want to do
MDMA in a retreat setup. By far
not my favorite substance for a
retreat. It's fun for a party, I
also like to mix it with stronger
doses of psychedelic. But as a
therapy? Yeah I think I'll stick
to plant medicine for that.

There is a trend in the healing
industry to use different
synthetic components as a
'shamanic' tool. I can see the
benefit of using LSD in a
therapeutic setup, as it offer a
very 'stable' way to get into the
psychedelic realm. Compared to
let say magic mushroom that
sometime kicks in, something
doesn't work, and sometime is too
strong.

But using plant medicine has that
randomness too, which give place
to give you the teaching that you
need on that moment. There is a
bit more of a synergy than using
a synthetic substance.

I've seen people advertising
3MMC, MDMA, and even Ketamine
therapy, which I guess could help
to unlock some part of your
trauma, without having the
intensity of a full psychedelic
journey. But when you look at the
toxicity of these substance,
compared to the toxicity of magic
mushroom, you have to wonder why.

I still can't find any research
on the negative physical effect
of LSD too. I've search for a
while, and I realized that the
100mu (microgram) that is needed
to give you a nice journey, has
no negative effect on the
body. Smoking a cigarette is more
toxic than a hit of LSD. Yet the
transformative effect it can have
on your life, in the right setup,
is immense.