[2025-01-02 00:19:21 PST]

It's getting too fucking loud,
I cannot go a second without
those DAMN VOICES telling me
to kill myself. It's too much
I'm about to put on some 
noise music as that always
seems to work against it. 
Vented a bit about my problems
on the suicidewatch subreddit,
nobody responded, nobody cares.
FUCKFUCKFUCK, I just want it
to go away, I want it all to
stop. I want the depression
to stop I want the noise to
stop I want it all to stop.

At the moment it seems to have
calmed down, but that will
most likely change in the 
coming minutes. Everyone
is asleep, my mom is at 
work. I don't want to call
the cops if I'm not even
sure I'm capable of it.
I'm not worth their time.
Nobody will read this,
nobody will care,
the only people who cared
I push away, I pushed
them all away, then I
trap myself in these
loops of reminding 
myself of when I had it
good, when I had people.
I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do.
I threw out all of my
knives in october for
something similar,
I don't know if this
is just the beginning
stages of it or what.
It might just be intrusive
thoughts.