[2025-01-01 17:44:09 PST]

The more I look upon my future
the more I think that the light
is dimmer on the otherside of
the tunnel. Though out of pure
instinct I  move towards 
it, as that's the only way 
forward at this point. I
try to do things that
make me happy, go out to eat
with my mom, play cards, 
that sort of thing. It 
only gets rid of the 
desolation for a bit.
It's all noise at this
point. The voices are getting
louder and more violent,
the episodes are becoming
more frequent, and I'm
stationed near sharp
objects. It takes a lot
of willpower not to cut
whenever I'm close to a knife.
I want to roll up into a
ball and scream until it
stops but that won't help.
I want to walk out into
the wilderness and get
lost in the trees, but
that is also unrealistic.
The only direction I'm
moving is forward, might
it be for greener pastures
or towards insanity. Only
time can tell.