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>> 1 Futa 2026-04-10 23:50 ID:RenN2duE
Making a little thread here so I can ponder/diary about this strange situation I'm in without cluttering DQN with a Shitty Thread, Wasshoi.
A few months ago, I randomly met a beautiful trans woman at my local bar. I'll call her Shiraki. We hit it off pretty quickly--we're both artists, and we both love playing chess. We've been meeting at different bars around our part of the city and playing chess together, when we have the time. I'm not certain how she feels about me romantically yet, but she seems to enjoy spending time with me, and I have a big crush on her... (More on that later, as it's really what I'm going to be trying to figure out, through this thread.)
When we go out to play chess, a few of her friends often come to play as well, usually her temporary roommate Fujiko and her friend Rei. Fujiko and Rei are also extremely conventionally attractive trans women. I've come to find out that all three of them, and most of their other friends, are professional porn-stars. You've probably seen them on some pay-per-view site or another before, if you jerk off to trans porn.
The whole experience has been very surreal to me so far. I feel completely out of my element, but in a good way, if that makes any sense. I'm bisexual but I'm really a complete alien when it comes to "queer" culture or the people that participate in it, and I definitely have never met anyone in the porn industry before either. It's been a fun adventure to just show up with an open mind and try to learn as much as I can about both through talking to these girls.
In this thread I plan to write down some random vignettes from my time spent with Shiraki and company, mostly so I can process them a little further for myself and of course to get my anonymous counselors' advice on them. I'll start a little later this weekend with more on Shiraki herself, and my current situation with her.
>> 2 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-11 00:11 ID:ocT5zs9t
> >pornThis doesn’t sound like it will end well. Anyway, do trans count as queer? I dunno I keep away from that whole crowd. I just think it’s weird to have a crush on someone who has sex with other people on camera for a living. Jealousy? Disease? Discomfort? Have you watched her pornos? That’s gotta feel uncomfortable.
Enough of this I’m bisexual, she’s demihebemonosexual alphabet soup. And what kind of bar runs chess games? You need to take her to a mahjong parlor.
>> 3 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-11 02:15 ID:eG4sem85
This sounds like an interesting situation.
I feel similar to >>2 regarding dating a pornstar. But everyone's different and maybe it doesn't bother you.
vc: came
>> 4 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-11 12:05 ID:HUuZa2fg
> >I have a big crush on her... (More on that later, as it's really what I'm going to be trying to figure out,(＾▽＾) just be a man and fuck that tranny
But seriously yeah its interesting but dating a pornstar seems pretty rough.
>> 5 Futa 2026-04-11 15:41 ID:RenN2duE
I think it's a pretty common and valid feeling to have. But in my own experience so far, I really feel nothing negative in terms of jealousy or weirdness, when I think about the possibility of hooking up with or dating Shiraki. Maybe it's the fact that her fucking these different people is literally her job--it's hard for me to feel particularly possessive or cheated by the thought of a porn-star continuing to be a porn-star, even if she's in a relationship with me. Being a bit of a sexual deviant myself, I'll admit I'm also kind of interested in the possibility of getting shared with some of her "co-workers," if she's into that too...
Fujiko actually gave me Shiraki's adult business card while we were out at a bar recently. I think it was her weird way of wingman-ing for me. Curiosity got the better of me and I looked up her acting name, and now I've seen a little of the work she's done for various studios. It's objectively very hot, but it's also very "pro," if that makes any sense. I'm more turned on by how she looks and acts on an average day IRL. Maybe that's adding to this disconnect I feel between her "work" sex and any kind of "personal" intimacy she's pursuing. Currently I don't think I'll make a habit out of watching her porn.
Speaking of, Shiraki is at a big adult entertainment convention this weekend with a few of her friends. It sounds like a big deal, they were invited to have their own booths or something. When it ends later this week, I'm having her over at my house for dinner. I'm very excited, but also nervous--for better or for worse I'll definitely be able to figure out how she feels about me a lot more clearly then. I'll report back after it happens, or before if I come up with something I want to write down.
>> 6 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-11 19:53 ID:i2ayHDu+
>>5
> >it's hard for me to feel particularly possessive or cheated by the thought of a porn-star continuing to be a porn-star, even if she's in a relationship with me.I'd be more weirded out by the transparency. Its one thing to sleep with strangers privately, another thing to do it in front of an audience online where it'll be out there forever. I would also guess that if you had to fuck for a living you'd be too burnout and sick of it to want that shit privately so don't let her know you're a sex deviant. She might not be into that.
> >I think it was her weird way of wingman-ing for me.Sure they aren't trying to nudge you into the industry?
> >I'm having her over at my house for dinnerYou better think hard about that. For starters, do you have any idea what you're going to cook for her? Don't just order a pizza or something. Route to a girl's heart is home cooking. Are her friends gonna be over or will it be just the two of you? Plan accordingly.
>> 7 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-12 00:52 ID:eG4sem85
>>6
> >I would also guess that if you had to fuck for a living you'd be too burnout and sick of it to want that shit privately so don't let her know you're a sex deviant. She might not be into that. She still might want to have a more intimate and personal type of sex that she's not getting through porn. Like >>5 said:
> >Maybe that's adding to this disconnect I feel between her "work" sex and any kind of "personal" intimacy she's pursuing.
>> 8 Futa 2026-04-12 01:06 ID:RenN2duE
>>6
> >burnoutThis kind of relates to the "work" vs "personal" thing I think I've noticed with Shiraki and her friends, in regards to sex/intimacy. I'm definitely not going to come on too strong or quickly with anything overly freaky, I don't think that's really what she's been enjoying about being around me so far anyway.
> >Sure they aren't trying to nudge you into the industry?This is something I've considered about them before... I don't think that's what's going on. I don't really have a lot of interest in doing porn myself. If Fujiko has any ulterior motive I think it might just be getting us in a threesome or something, but from what I've seen of her on a few occasions I think she's just trying to play matchmaker in her own weird way.
> >what to cookI love cooking, the meal itself is the one thing I'm not nervous about. There's a sweet potato hash I make that's gotten good reviews from friends, I'll probably cook some nice cut of steak and get some wine to go with it. It will just be the two of us for that.
>> 9 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-12 05:08 ID:eG4sem85
>>8
Are you transgender female yourself? I was assuming you're a guy, but now I notice that you set your name as futa.
>> 10 Futa 2026-04-12 05:35 ID:RenN2duE
>>9
I am a guy, I just thought that alias would suit the thread's theme.
>> 11 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-13 01:05 ID:Heaven
At this very moment >>1 is probably eating steak and drinking wine with Shiraki (゜o゜;
>> 12 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-13 13:35 ID:+V1lJwpR
>>11
lucky bastard
>> 13 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-14 01:50 ID:NrJK9Rak
>>2,3 Wow, I didn’t realise /personal/ was full of PRUDES!!
Some people are porn actors. They do a private, intimate thing as a service. But so do most artists!!
Just kidding, I guess I can understand the feeling. Most people would probably get “ jealous” if their partner was having sex with other people, but I don’t think it’s a big deal if it’s consensual, transparent, and importantly, for business. I’d be pretty flattered if a big time pornstar wanted to fuck me off-cam. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves…
You got this >>1! I hope dinner with Shiraki went well!!
>> 14 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-14 20:57 ID:hfC+Zc4s
>>13
Its not that I'm a prude, maybe I am? I don't think you can really equate porn acting and idk painting. I guess it resembles prostitution, except that its very public and not a service profession. I'd be pretty disturbed if a pornstar wanted to fuck me. It would be uncomfy. Hope it went well but still very strange scenario >>1 is in.
>> 15 Futa 2026-04-15 16:23 ID:RenN2duE
Reporting back, we had dinner last night. It went extremely well. Shiraki liked the food, and after we ate we spent some time drinking wine, listening to music and being nerds--I found out while we were eating that she has a really strong background in electronics, and she gave me a hand in completing a mod on an instrument pedal that I've been working on! I'll spare you the details but later on things progressed, and we ended up fucking for a long time.
I learned after that I was completely right about my thoughts about Fujiko's possible motives. While we were laying around, Shiraki asked if I'd ever be interested in a threesome. I'm not sure when or how that might be occurring, but it seems pretty likely right now. More unknown waters to tread--I've never actually been in a threesome before. It's always seemed hot on paper but also like it could be a logistic nightmare. I think I could have a lot of fun in one though, especially if my partners are two porn-stars.
It wasn't too late at night so we ended up cleaning up and getting out to our neighborhood bar to play chess. There was an insane thunderstorm going on during the walk, and I had a lot of fun dodging through all the flooded side streets with her. It felt poignant to me for some reason I can't really name. I want to use the word "nostalgic" to describe the feeling of the walk, but I'm not sure if that's the most accurate one.
Fujiko was out at the bar when we got there. Kuma, one of the bartenders who runs a local chess club that I'm part of, was hanging around off-shift as well. We ended up playing until close, and then Kuma took us to a local gay bar that was open even later for a last drink and a few more chess matches. That was another first for me--I don't think I've ever stepped foot in an actual gay bar before. This one specifically is very famous as a historic landmark for the city's "leather" scene, apparently. Shiraki told me, "It's a nice place, but DON'T check out the basement..."
It was a nice hang, and an interesting one. We got to know Kuma a lot better--the man is a professional alcoholic, and when you catch him that late at night he'll tell you some crazy stories. Eventually we were all pretty tired and Kuma was getting a little too drunk and friendly with us, so me and Shiraki retreated, kissed in the rain and called it a night. Overall I'm very happy with how this all went, and we're probably going to see each other again this weekend or next week.
Pondering Fujiko and the threesome thing a little more this morning, I do wonder now if Shiraki is into me romantically/emotionally, or if this is just going to be some casual thing where I get thrown around her various porn-star friends. Or maybe a bit of both? I guess it's no use over-thinking it though, I'm sure that'll become more clear pretty soon.
>> 16 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-15 20:57 ID:BuIyAdPG
It sounds like a romantic thing or that it is at least developing that way.
PS: I've been checking this thread like three times a day. It's like a little soap opera for me.
>> 17 Futa 2026-04-16 01:33 ID:RenN2duE
>>16
Ha ha, I'm glad someone is enjoying it. I used to really like reading various posters' blog threads about their strange work or love lives on different imageboards and textboards way back when, and I figured this weird situation was as good as any for my own contribution in that little niche.
>> 18 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-16 20:45 ID:NrJK9Rak
Nice one!! Sounds like you read the atmosphere & Shiraki’s intentions spot on.
It’s cool that you’re having fun, but I do hope you don’t feel pressured into something you’re not comfortable with.
It sounds like Shiraki has your interests at heart - they clearly enjoy spending time with you & gave you a friendly warning about that sex dungeon! So I think it’s probably more than just a casual thing. But who knows…
Just wondering, are Shiraki/Fujiko/Rei already in an established relationship? I know a lot of folks in the “queer” community engage in open relationships or polycules - this can be a lot of fun but in my experience it also tends to be quite dramatic & emotionally unstable. I guess a “normal” relationship between two partners is tricky enough, that navigating a more complex one is definitely “hard mode”. But that doesn’t mean it can’t work.
>> 19 Futa 2026-04-17 00:10 ID:RenN2duE
>>18
As far as I know, they're all just friends/coworkers. I know Shiraki and Fujiko have done some scenes together before, and they do currently live together, but I think it's just as friends who also fuck. If this threesome business happens, I'll definitely figure their dynamic out in more detail.
I am very curious about what exactly Shiraki's looking for (or already in?) in terms of any kind of open/poly relationship. Like I said before I don't feel particularly possessive or jealous when I think about her having sex with other people, and I'm pretty down to be shared. But--maybe paradoxically--if we were in an open relationship, I don't think I would want to go out of my way to get any more partners of my "own," if that makes any sense. I think I'd feel generally satisfied just focusing on my relationship with Shiraki in an almost monogamous way, outside of any freaky shit she and her friends would be interested in trying.
While I was typing this, Shiraki invited me to go play soccer with some of her friends tomorrow! Pray for me, I haven't played since middle school.
>> 20 Futa 2026-04-18 08:19 ID:RenN2duE
Very eventful evening, tonight--I'm a little buzzed but I'll try writing this down while it's fresh on my mind.
Soccer got rained out by another crazy thunderstorm. Shiraki and I ended up playing chess at a bar near her apartment, instead. We were planning on watching a movie together, but right as we left the bar Fujiko called asking for a ride home so she didn't have to get a taxi. She'd been out partying, and was really fucked up. We had to figure that out for a second--my trunk is currently completely packed with instruments and music gear, so there was only one passenger seat left. Shiraki was confident we could pull it off, so we both doubled down and said we could pick her up. One mad dash in the rain later, and I was driving with two trans porn-stars smushed on top of each other in my front seat.
After I parked and we made it into the apartment, Shiraki was trying to set up the movie when Fujiko threw another curveball. She pulled out her phone and said she was inviting two more people to come by. Shiraki seemed cool with it, but when she had a chance she made up some excuse and pulled me into her bedroom with her.
When we were alone, Shiraki explained that the two randoms were people that she and Fujiko had both hooked up with on various occasions and had shot porn scenes with, before. She said that it was likely that when they came over, things would get sexual. She wanted to know if I was comfortable with that, to what level I'd be comfortable with it, or if I wanted to head out before they got there so it wouldn't be too awkward for anyone. During this little talk she also offered more generally that if I wanted to make content with her sometime, she'd be into it, and that she thought I'd be a good fit for it.
This was a lot to get all at once, but I can't say any of it was unexpected. I had to process it for a second and think about what I thought about it, though. She seemed kind of worried about how I'd feel about the whole situation, and asked more than once if I was upset. Honestly I didn't really feel upset, and was very appreciative of the prior warning. I ultimately decided I'd bow out before the orgy, and declined the offer to help her shoot porn. She seemed relieved by how I was taking all of this, and made a point of touching/caressing me a lot more before I left. We made plans to hang out (with a few less people) later this weekend instead, kissed goodbye, and I headed out to drink with friends at my local bar.
A few more hours out from the whole event, I still really can't say I feel particularly bad or jealous about it. I appreciate how Shiraki communicated with me and the apparent concern she had for my feelings/comfort, and I think after being offered the choice I made the right call overall. Really the only negative emotion I've felt tonight is that usual light disappointment/frustration from having a date flake on you, and even that is lessened by the fact that we'll likely be together again in a day or two.
In hindsight, if it was just me, Shiraki and Fujiko I think I would have felt comfortable staying and trying a threesome. Even in casual sex I need a good amount of familiarity/interest in a person though, so I really wasn't about the thought of trying to fuck with two complete strangers in the room... Plus, 5 people seems like a crazy number for group sex, you know? The next time we're together I'm sure we'll talk about tonight a little more, and I think we'll both figure more out about what we want from each other and exactly how freaky we're both willing to get. What a crazy night...!
>> 21 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-18 18:00 ID:614G3KGo
> >my trunk is currently completely packed with instruments and music gear, so there was only one passenger seat left.What kind of music do you play futanon?
>> 22 Futa 2026-04-18 18:56 ID:RenN2duE
>>21
Right now, everything from rock, blues, funk, jazz, weird electronic music, etc etc... Being a ""professional"" musician is one of my several jobs right now. I'm getting hired pretty often in different "scenes" for either drums, guitar or an especially overkill synth/keyboard setup. Being able to change hats so often is fun, but it makes the "what do you play" question extremely hard to answer sometimes, ha ha.
>> 23 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-18 20:01 ID:72tjAUMg
This has been a really fascinating thread, thank you for sharing!
Having been in M/TF/TF threesomes a few times, albeit from the other end, don't sweat it too much. In many ways it's actually easier and less pressure than regular one-on-one sex. Just make sure you all communicate what you want properly, share the attention so neither of them feels left out, and encourage the girls to play with each other while you're in your refractory period.
>> 24 Futa 2026-04-21 15:35 ID:RenN2duE
>>23
I appreciate the advice! I think the next time she offers I'll actually give it a shot.
We spend more time together over the weekend, playing chess one night, going out to a concert another. I actually slept over at Shiraki and Fujiko's place on Saturday, and spent some time with both of them in their little common area.
I got to figure out a lot more of their dynamic during that hang--apartment orgies aside, they're still just pretty normal roommates, ha ha. They kept getting into little arguments about things around the room. "You didn't clean my air fryer before you put it away!" "You should have cleaned it!" "Why are you getting defensive!" "I'm NOT defensive!! YOU'RE defensive!!" "You didn't take out the cat litter!!!" etc. etc. They were butting heads with each other for half the night before I extended the olive branch of some desserts I'd baked. When it got around that time Shiraki pulled me into her room, and it was just the two of us getting intimate again.
We've got more plans to go out together next weekend. The way this weekend has gone I'm a lot more convinced that there is something more personal going on than just casual sex/recruiting a new porn partner. I'll try not to overthink anything, but I'm very excited about going out with Shiraki more. I'll report back with random musings or more vignettes later.
>> 25 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-21 21:54 ID:Heaven
What's the point of this thread? Litrotica quality fakery aside, is there anything left to ask? The Futa Otoko (>>>1) tells us he wants to figure things out because he has a crush on Shiraki, but now you are fucking her, going on dates, sleeping over etc. what's left to figure out? Seems clear as day to me. I don't get it. If they were recruiting you for porn, they'd have dropped you the minute you said no. There's nothing left to figure out.
>> 27 Futa 2026-04-23 02:04 ID:RenN2duE
>>25
Beyond answering a question, at this point I'm just using this thread as a little journal for this strange experience I'm having that someone else might also enjoy reading. Like I said earlier I've always enjoyed weird personal blog threads on image/textboards and this seemed like as good as any event in my life to make my own of.
Also I have to say I'm very flattered that you think this is fake, ha ha. The past few months have been extremely surreal for me and I'm glad to hear someone else thinks this is too outlandish to be true.
>> 28 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-04-23 23:13 ID:WvWDFmEB
You guys could be moving too fast. I’d say slow down and don’t jump into the threesome or anything because she might throw you away when she finds some other fucktoy. And then there’s the jealousy, the anxiety etc. relationships like this could burn out fast if you’re not careful.
>> 29 Futa 2026-04-26 22:34 ID:RenN2duE
>>28
We're a hive mind! I'd come to a similar conclusion a few days ago. After an experience on a date earlier this week, I am a little more wary of the risks of getting eaten up by the girls' larger network of fuckbuddies--from what Shiraki's told me recently about her and Fujiko's shared relationships, I've heard a lot of what you've described, jealousy and anxiety...
On Thursday Shiraki wanted to cook for me, and invited me over to her apartment. When I came over, she was really stressed and constantly checking her phone because of some big argument she and Fujiko had earlier that day. It was over a guy they both shoot porn with. Shiraki had been trying to set up hanging/making more "content" with the guy for a while but he'd been super flaky. Meanwhile, he seemed to have a lot more time for Fujiko, who seemed to be with him very often. Shiraki got sick of the strange vibe, it came to a head, and some other roommate disputes they'd been having flared up at the same time--apparently it was a pretty bad fight. Shiraki told me that she felt like this happened a lot with Fujiko, that she was always "stealing" the show in both their professional and social lives.
She felt bad about being so distracted and gave up on worrying about it for the night, but seeing how upset she was stuck with me. The thoughts I had were these--I'm much more interested in being with Shiraki than being with her friends, and I don't like the thought of inviting that same kind of jealousy/fighting for attention into our own little dynamic. I'm still open to the idea of participating in a threesome or whatever eventually, but yeah, right now I feel a lot more strongly about taking enough time with just the two of us first. I think Shiraki's feeling similarly about it, too--we've been running around together a lot this weekend, but no sign of Fujiko so far.
>> 30 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-05-14 13:16 ID:qVe/aNFU
No more updates? Guess Fujiko succeeded in her (male) evil plans.
>> 31 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-05-14 19:25 ID:OhHh+uTS
Being honest most trannies I see gross me out, I try not to be prejudiced or hateful but when it's hard not to judge appearances when I see one who just looks like an old guy poorly crossdressing
One of my close friends started dating a trans girl and I thought that was weird at first. Turns out they have a great relationship plus she's cool and plays vidya with us so i dont really think much of it anymore
>>2
This was kinda my thoughts, I'd be pretty uncomfortable with that even with a bio woman but thats just me
>> 32 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-05-14 19:38 ID:jjvQRTk1
>>31
Seems a lot of trannies these days are low effort. You see this everywhere. People claiming to be X and putting no effort in whatsoever.
>> 33 Futa 2026-05-17 23:16 ID:RenN2duE
>>30
No threesome yet, ha ha ha.
Time got away from me some the past month, lots of running around and lots of work... I've been on more dates with Shiraki, and we've been hanging around each other's apartments a lot. For a second there were no really "new" developments, so I didn't have much to write about. There were some things I wanted to post about a couple weeks ago and last weekend but life got crazy, so I'll try to catch up now that I have a night off.
A couple weeks ago, one of our friends at the local bar went through a really bad breakup. Shiraki heard about it first and told me about it when we were walking to my place for another dinner date. Our friend, a girl I'll call Gogo, had been dating one of our bartenders, Kyuso, for years. She very recently found out that Kyuso had been seeing other women--his loophole when she got upset at this news was that "technically," they hadn't concretely said they were exclusive, at the beginning. That stung to hear because I had an ex that cheated and did the same thing. Me and Shiraki talked about how shitty it was, and how exploitative it seemed too, since Kyuso was much older than Gogo. Shiraki seemed a little off or awkward the rest of the walk, but I didn't ask, since I was pretty sure she'd tell me why.
She did when we made it to my apartment. She said she was kind of shaken by the news because she related it to herself and what we were doing, to some extent. Shiraki is about 10 years older than me, and while in my mind she's done a great job of communicating/being transparent about her personal life and what she wants so far, I think she's been really worried about leading me on or taking advantage of me, or something.
She told me she really wanted to check in and see where I was at about everything. On her end, she said, she really liked going out with me but she didn't want to make anything serious or put a label on anything, because she'd gotten out of several bad relationships in the past several years and was scared of being hurt that badly again. I told her I was really content with what we'd been doing so far, and regarding staying "casual" or leaving labels off of it, whatever she wanted was cool with me. She looked like a weight was lifted off her shoulders hearing that, and the rest of the date was a great time.
From then until now our schedules have been screwing us, a little. We still hang out, but with my work our sleep schedules are pretty different. One or the other of us is a couple hours away from crashing each time we've hung out, so instead of going out and then having sex, more often than not we've been making each other food, kissing/cuddling and going to sleep together. That's been very satisfying, too. But, since she's told me about them, I know she's had a couple more little sex parties with Fujiko in the meantime. This has brought out some new feelings in me that I'm trying to think through.
I think I'm finally feeling a little jealous toward Fujiko and her friends, although in a lot of ways I think it's kind of unreasonable to feel that way. I've seen a lot of Shiraki the past couple months, and she's still extremely affectionate and communicative. The sex slowing down from the absurd pace that it's been at, specifically when both of us have also been very busy, isn't really some big cause for alarm, I think. But I can feel a little anxiety starting to buzz in my gut a little all the same. On top of all this, I've been traveling for work and haven't gotten off in almost a week straight, so I'm also pretty sure my feelings are clouded by thoughts from my dick.
This next week both of our schedules clear up a lot, and I'll definitely see more of Shiraki soon. I'll hold off on feeling too weird about anything until we can really have some time together again, and I can see with a clear head what the vibe is. I'll post again after that, or if I remember some more bits from the past few weeks.
>> 34 Futa 2026-05-26 06:00 ID:RenN2duE
I've had a crazy weekend... To quickly wrap up the previous post, I went out with Shiraki more last week and it was business as usual, any worries or weird feelings were out of my head very quickly. And now any concerns about anything have been completely overshadowed by what happened this weekend.
On Saturday, we were at our local bar with Fujiko again, early in the evening. It was packed, and the crowd was different than usual--I think a nearby college was having graduation parties, or something. Lots of "greek life" types, leery frat boys and the like. Me and Shiraki were playing chess, but we kept getting distracted by people around us or forced to migrate to other parts of the bar. Eventually we gave up and tried the bar's pool table. By this point we'd been there no longer than an hour, and had one drink each. We got another round, and Fujiko said she was going to leave to hang out at home. The two of us stuck around a bit longer.
While drinking our second round and playing pool, Shiraki started acting strange. She called me to her, looking really stressed. She said she was thirsty, and urgently asked me to get her water. By the time I got back from the water station, she looked extremely distressed. She looked at me and said, "Something is very wrong. We need to go." She begged me to take off the necklace that she was wearing, claiming it was hard to breathe. I quickly got it off of her, gathered all our things and took her outside.
She wanted to go home, but we hardly made it a block and a half up the street. She was losing motor function and found it extremely difficult to keep walking--I sat her down in some grass by the sidewalk. She said her whole body felt heavy, she couldn't keep her head up, she was seeing double, she could hardly breathe... She was having difficulty speaking, and when I tried to check her eyes they could hardly focus on anything. She kept almost losing consciousness, and I had to keep trying to get her to talk to keep her awake.
I'm feeling upset now just remembering how terrified she was. She kept saying my name and repeating "I don't know what's happening to me..." She was squeezing my hand so tightly the whole time we sat there. When we talked about it later the next day, she said she was certain she was dying in that moment. I did my best to keep her calm and awake, and called 911. While we waited for the ambulance I promised her that I'd stay with her the whole time. I almost wasn't able to keep that promise, because the EMTs were understandably suspicious of the random guy sitting next to their patient when they showed up. She started really panicking when it looked like they were trying to take her without me, though, and they decided to let me ride along.
>> 35 Futa 2026-05-26 06:01 ID:RenN2duE
We were in the ER for hours. She could barely move or respond when we got in, and nurses had to help her get into a gown and into a bed. I sat next to her until she eventually fell asleep. The doctor's best guess once tests came back were that she was dosed with GHB. He said there wasn't much else to do for her but let her rest in a safe place until her body metabolized it--it was 4 AM by the time she'd slept enough of it off to be responsive and able to move again. The doctor asked if she wanted to try going to the police about the incident, but she didn't believe they'd do anything about it... When she felt able, we got a ride back to her place and quickly fell asleep.
She was clearly still shaken the next morning, and she said she felt like she had a terrible hangover. I stayed with her most of Sunday, helped around the house, made sure she ate and rested more, and eventually headed back to mine. Kuma had been working Saturday when this all happened, and I was able to get in touch with him to set up a meeting with the bar's owner, an older lady I'll call Taro. I'll be able to get into the bar early tomorrow to scrub through the security camera footage and try to spot who might have drugged Shiraki. There are several people I have in mind to watch for, and a pretty narrow window of time where it's most likely to have happened, so I'm hopeful I can find something.
This whole experience has really shaken me. I think I did pretty well dealing with the situation in the moment, but in hindsight, seeing this girl I've started really caring for almost die from an overdose is probably going to fuck with my head for a while going forward. I'm sure the experience is going to affect her somehow, too. Before I get stuck worrying about future trauma though, I'm just going to focus on my little Sherlock Holmes job and see if I can at least put a face or silhouette to the crime. If nothing else can be done, I'd love to at least give both of us that miniscule amount of closure. I'll report back if I manage to find anything, or if anything else happens.
>> 36 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-05-26 22:42 ID:AngH+jF7
>>34-35
Wow, that's terrible to hear. Hope Shiraki is feeling better and that you manage to find who did it.
By the way your writing is really amazing. Besides for the fear you conveyed, I also got a sense for the trust and bond you have with Shiraki. It was pretty beautiful and sentimental to read. (I know that's not the point of the story at all, but it's hard to ignore.)
> >I'm feeling upset now just remembering how terrified she was. She kept saying my name and repeating "I don't know what's happening to me..." She was squeezing my hand so tightly the whole time we sat there.Sad yet beautiful...
>> 37 Futa 2026-05-27 08:01 ID:RenN2duE
>>36
I spent the first part of today digging through the tapes at the bar, taking notes on different timestamps, trying to find something. I was planning on going back in tomorrow morning and checking through the parts I hadn't seen yet. But later, while we were out together, Shiraki told me that she didn't want to know about it even if I found something. This really messed with my head, and I've been weirdly depressed all night.
Her philosophy going forward is that she doesn't want to live "like a wounded bird" because of the incident--she wants to get by as quickly as possible and spend as little time dwelling on the incident as she can, because dwelling and trauma was what the culprit was hoping to inflict in the first place. She described the way she wanted to view the whole experience as "just a bad dream."
On my end though, I was awake for that whole experience. I feel like I can't just shrug it off in that same way, and that's causing some real friction in my head. If the victim herself doesn't want to find the person who did it, why am I subjecting myself to repeatedly reliving the experience through the security footage? I think I have to just give up trying to figure out anything. That makes me even more miserable.
I'm in a real emotional pit tonight, I'm going to sleep on it and think on it more in the morning.
>> 38 Futa 2026-05-27 12:42 ID:RenN2duE
After sleeping on it I don't feel much better, but to hell with it. If Shiraki doesn't want it, I feel like continuing to relive the experience and try to dig deeper is just going to mess with my own head and cause a weird energy to appear between us. I'm giving up on going through the security cameras.
I feel defeated and empty. I'm sure I'll start to feel more alright in the coming weeks, but jesus christ. What a shitty experience this has all been.
I'm sure I'll see Shiraki more in the next week or two, if anything develops I'll report back. I think I'll take the next few days to start getting my shit back together...
>> 39 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-05-28 05:48 ID:AngH+jF7
Sounds like it really affected you deeply. Maybe even more than Shiraki. Feel better
>> 40 Futa 2026-05-31 18:30 ID:RenN2duE
Morale's been a lot better in the past few days. I've spent a lot of time catching up with friends, leaning into some of my hobbies etc., and plan to keep that up in the next few weeks. I'm not going to assume I'm actually fine, but I've felt way more like myself and I think right now I've got a really decent support network to process what I need to without getting overly depressed or shutting down.
I've been hanging out with Shiraki the past couple nights, and we have plans to go bowling with some of our chess friends tonight. She's back to her usual self too, more or less--at random moments she'll open up a little more about that night and we'll talk about whatever comes to her mind about it, but generally speaking she's handling it incredibly well and going out together has felt very good.
The last couple posts were pretty dark so I thought I'd take a second to write a little about what's been going on with Fujiko's love life. She's been getting into some situations... It's all a lot (to me at least) weirder / funnier than what's been going on with me and Shiraki, and we've both been paying more attention to it this past week.
Parallel to me and Shiraki's dating, Fujiko's been on a tear hooking up with random guys whenever she goes out. The throughline of her "type" is that they're always particularly stupid, lame, desperate guys--to quote Shiraki, "I don't know why she does this. She's so beautiful and smart, she reads, she's an incredible musician. And they're just...! They're always the weirdest looking, loudest, dumbest mother-fuckers in the room..." I've actually run into a few of them in the past couple weeks at our local bar, and I can say her description was very apt. Each time I started wondering who this or that ghoul was that I hadn't seen before, there came Fujiko smiling and landing on their arm.
Shiraki's been a little worried about Fujiko doing this all the time, both for her own wellbeing and the quality of the hang at our bar. She thinks Fujiko's only doing it as easy validation for a low sense of self-esteem. I think she's right--I had a friend a few years ago that was acting very similarly after a bad breakup, and underlying reasons were the same. And the more she does it, the more really weird guys start floating around our bar hoping to run into her, or someone else...
>> 41 Futa 2026-05-31 18:30 ID:RenN2duE
Earlier this week, Shiraki, Fujiko and I were out with our friend Gogo at a late-night bar. Also present was a guy who is exactly Fujiko's "type," Gogo's closest friend, Taki. I've never really liked this guy--Gogo swears by him being a nice person, but every time I've seen him he's been loud, annoying, and either talking down to women at the bar or talking shit about other women he hooked up with. Gogo had just been telling us the other day about some sort of emotionally abusive thing he'd done to a girl recently, and how shitty he'd been about even apologizing about it. So me and Shiraki were especially surprised when Fujiko started doing her usual seduction routine on him...
We split off at some point in the night and got the rest of the details in the morning. After me and Shiraki went home together, Gogo read the room and tried to check with Fujiko about if she actually wanted to do this. Fujiko paid her no mind and went home with Taki... They hooked up, and in the morning when she came back, she seemed pretty sour and miserable about the experience. Later the next day, when Gogo asked him about it, Taki lied and tried to say Fujiko had just left and gone home with us! Shiraki was very mad about that, and I was too. As if I needed another reason to dislike this guy.
Unlike her other escapades, this one is much closer to home, and both Shiraki and Gogo are worried that it'll add some strange tension to our little circle of friends at the bar. If Taki's weird or an asshole about Fujiko now, (which, knowing him, feels inevitable,) it might turn into a lot of choosing sides, pointing fingers, etc. etc. I'm optimistic that nobody would really disagree with just calling Taki out on being a prick, but Shiraki thinks it actually will be a problem, at least for Gogo.
The kicker to this is, I think both Fujiko and Taki are supposed to be there tonight for this little bowling party. Shiraki's already talking about how she'll slap Taki if he says something out of line... I'll report back if there's a fireworks show, ha ha.
>> 42 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-01 05:06 ID:AngH+jF7
When Fujiko tries to seduce these guys, do you think they realize that she is trans? Like how convincing of a trans woman is Fujiko, and does she hint to them that she's trans?
If she's really convincing, I'm sure some people were in for a surprise... Maybe that's what happened with Taki?
If she's pretty obviously trans, then I guess I'm kind of surprised by how she's able to just seduce guys into having sex with her. Didn't realize that so many men would be into trans women.
>> 43 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-01 05:28 ID:trLmQIba
This is starting to sound like a lame shoujo manga like Nana :/
Do they ever do trans weiner fights?
>> 44 Futa 2026-06-02 23:02 ID:RenN2duE
Neither Fujiko nor Taki ended up coming to that bowling thing. Apparently Shiraki and Fujiko have been seriously butting heads since that night. I've got a lot of work this week and we'll be seeing a little less of each other, but I'm sure I'll hear how that's going this weekend...
>>42
> >how convincing, does she hint to them that she's trans?Both Fujiko and Shiraki are very conventionally attractive and definitely "pass," but neither of them have any interest in fooling guys and from what I've seen so far they're pretty upfront about being trans if someone seems like they genuinely might not know. In Taki's case though, he definitely knew beforehand. He's been in the same general circle of friends as the two of them for some time now.
> >so many men into trans womenYeah, there are plenty of them! Shiraki's talked about this with me before, the different kinds of guys she and Fujiko encounter being trans. There are plenty of men that are outwardly "queer" to one extent or another that would be interested in getting with a trans woman without being weird about their gender or sexuality. Then there are an infinite number of closet cases, who are kind of weird toward them at best and genuinely dangerous at worst... Shiraki says she avoids anyone who makes too big of a deal about "still being ""straight"" like the plague since dealing with some real horror stories in the past.
Shiraki's least favorite out of the people who try to get with her are guys she describes as "prison gays"--""straight"" guys who are so bad with biological women and so desperate that they go after trans women not because they're genuinely into them, but because it seems "easier" to get laid with them. The way she described this kind of guy sounded a lot like what I've heard referred to as a "chaser" before, but I'm not sure if that's exactly the same or not. From a trans girl's perspective, the way these kinds of guys seriously devalue their womanhood and personhood, and just treat them like some kind of weird fetish object... In hindsight, her description seems like it fits Taki pretty well.
>>43
I'll have to flip through Nana, that one completely passed me by in the 2000s.
> >trans weiner fights?They've done porn shoots together before, so I'm sure it's happened at least once, ha ha.
>> 45 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-04 18:29 ID:Heaven
>>42
> >Didn't realize that so many men would be into trans women.I'm a modestly attractive passing trans woman, and I was honestly really surprised by how many men are into me. It's more common than you'd think! Unfortunately Shiraki's comments are spot on, a lot of men that are attracted to you get really weird about it, like they won't be seen with you in public or let you meet their friends or family or anything. I'm mostly only interested in men for sex so it doesn't bother me much, but I do feel for trans women seeking actual committed relationships with men.
>> 46 Futa 2026-06-05 15:21 ID:RenN2duE
A bit of an update on this whole thing with Fujiko and Taki--I ran into Shiraki last night while I was biking around. She was visibly mad/upset, so I joined her on a walk for a while to talk about what was wrong.
According to Shiraki, night before last she was on another late-night bar crawl with Fujiko, Gogo and Taki. They ended up at Taki's place postgaming. She said he'd already said some things that night that were a little weird or indirectly related to Fujiko, but he'd still been acting pretty down-low about the whole thing.
Then completely out of the blue, Taki piped up and said "every chick I've ever hooked up with has been shit." It took everyone off guard. Shiraki gave him a chance to somehow explain what the fuck he just said, but he doubled down. "They're all shit, they suck," he kept saying, and he named names, including Fujiko! He pointed right at her and said, "and you're shit!" His logic was that since he was shit, anyone who would have sex with him were even "worse" or somehow lower in society than himself... I'm getting pissed thinking about it right now. Who would say something like that? It's scary getting a glimpse into exactly how fucked up some people's minds are when it comes to women.
Shiraki and Fujiko were both extremely mad, and quickly left. Fujiko's trying to act like her feelings weren't hurt by the experience, and doesn't want Shiraki to do anything stupid. When I ran into Shiraki, she'd been seriously considering finding him and slapping him that night. She thought better of it after she'd vented for a while, but honestly if she did it I'd fully support her.
I've felt very frustrated by this little group of friends' relationship with Taki for a while now, since before I'd even met Shiraki or Fujiko. He's that kind of entitled guy who thinks he'll never be punished for the things he says or does... I get so pissed whenever I watch him gaslight Gogo and she somehow falls for it. It's the same routine every time without fail. He'll say something very shitty, usually about women, and when she gets mad he turns around and says, "my god, you thought I was serious! It's a joke Gogo, you can't take a joke?" I'm sure he tried passing this off as a "joke" too, because Shiraki seemed very mad at Gogo for making excuses about his behavior too.
I think what really disgusts me or makes me mad is how he hides behind the security blanket of drugs. He can never be blamed by what he says or does, because he was just "so drunk" when it happened. It's a method used by actual abusers--a few years ago I had to confront a friend and cut him out of my life over this horrible domestic abuse case, and that was the same line of defense he was using.
Overall it feels so obvious that Taki's just saying whatever gets him out of immediate trouble so he can keep being shitty without repercussions, and he's gotten away with it every time for so long. It really bothers me that a bunch of people I like would be so unaware of how bullshit he is. Or worse, that they are aware, but pretending not to be. To that end maybe I'm the most frustrated at Gogo--why is this asshole the super close friend that you'll take so much time and effort to defend? How does a woman justify the actions of someone who is consistently so shitty to her and a number of other women?
Just a bit of a rant I guess, but it feels good to write some of this down. I talked Shiraki down from the ledge last night but I didn't really have a chance to vent myself, and I've been feeling hotheaded about this too. When it gets worse--when, because with Taki it's inevitable--I'll give Shiraki a hand in the fistfight, ha ha.
>> 47 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-06 23:17 ID:Heaven
>>45
> >a lot of men that are attracted to you get really weird about it, like they won't be seen with you in public or let you meet their friends or family or anythingI'm like this with the regular women I'm with because I'm just secretive and keep my few friends at arms length anyway. You have to consider that people who date trans women can be subject to stigma too so its only natural they don't want you to meet their friends and family.
>> 48 Futa 2026-06-07 00:20 ID:RenN2duE
>>47
> >I'm just secretiveHas that not been an issue for any of the women you've been with? I feel like I'd feel really bad about myself if whoever I was dating felt like they had to keep me a secret...
> >people who date trans women can be subject to stigma too so it's only natural they don't want you to meet their friends and familyThat feels very *un*natural, to me--if someone is that concerned about the stigma or conflict involved, what are they doing dating trans women to begin with? Why not just date someone they're more comfortable openly being with, instead?
>> 49 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-08 13:43 ID:Heaven
>>48
No. If they are the type of woman who doesn't like secrecy then we don't end up in a relationship. It does make it harder to find a partner but I believe there are a lot of folks out there who like to keep things private. I never mix the person I'm with and my friends or family. If we talk about it, then its through euphemisms, and I never really tell her what's going on in my life if she doesn't need to know about it.
> >if someone is that concerned about the stigma or conflict involved, what are they doing dating trans women to begin with?You could ask why people are trans if they are concerned about stigma? Practically speaking, most people have lives and need to be pragmatic. Socially sacrificing yourself for your trans partner might seem romantic, but its not wise.
>>46
Couldn't you just ignore Taki and Fujiko? Just ignore the drama and pay no attention. If other people want to fight and argue, don't pick sides and get involved. It's not worth it.
>> 50 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-08 18:12 ID:Heaven
> >Couldn't you just ignore Taki and Fujiko? Just ignore the drama and pay no attention. If other people want to fight and argue, don't pick sides and get involved. It's not worth it. I was thinking the same thing.
>> 51 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-09 13:22 ID:Heaven
>>49,50
It kinda sounds like Taki is an ass though (to me at least) and Fujiko isn’t. Why remain neutral? If Futanon doesn’t like them, why not take Fujiko’s side?
>> 52 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-09 22:34 ID:6DopJa87
>>51
You can only give Fujiko good advice. If they won’t take it, then there’s no sense in getting further involved. You did your part already.
>> 53 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-22 23:21 ID:FQrHHFJ4
>>47
Given the rampant tranny bashing online, I wonder what the futa otoko thinks of this situation how this affects him? I’m sure it complicates things. When I think of trans they are either sex workers or dorky teens so in that sense his relationship seems pretty stereotypical.
>> 54 Futa 2026-06-23 18:30 ID:RenN2duE
Reporting back while I have a second to myself. This month and next month are crazy for me, work's picking up for the summer.
Regarding Fujiko and Taki, past when I wrote about it a few weeks ago I didn't hear much more from Shiraki until recently. She's much less stressed/angry about it, now. Apparently the two made up, and I've seen them both at gatherings with our other mutual bar friends since then. According to Shiraki, Taki's apology was "extremely half-assed and shitty," but it was still accepted. Whenever they're out at the bar now though, both Shiraki and Fujiko always find an opportunity to make fun of him a little. I still don't really know what the draw is to keep the guy around, but I can't say I'm as immediately mad about it as I was then either.
Otherwise, things have been business as usual with Shiraki. Compared to the first few months of seeing her, my calendar being this crammed has led to us moving a lot slower. I've been really liking it, honestly--having to be more intentional about when we're hanging out and what we're doing has led to some fun dates. A couple weeks ago we visited a local chess club, last week I cooked a big dinner and played music with her, we'll be going out to one of our city's museums week after this one, stuff like that.
>>53
I feel like it hasn't really complicated much for me so far. It's still pretty early, and it's not like she's met every single person I know, but so far my circles seem pretty unaffected by me dating her. My close friends are all supportive, and the ones that have met her like her. The random friends/coworkers/bosses from work who have met her so far have ranged from other "out" queer people to stereotypical blue-collar conservatives, and they've all been supportive or at very least cordial and tolerant. Random people on the street aren't trying to stone us when we walk by (...usually).
There is plenty of trans hate both online and IRL but at the end of the day, unless one of those people are directly, physically trying to harm myself or Shiraki, they're pretty irrelevant to my own life. It hasn't happened yet, but even if someone more important to me was weird about it, I'm willing to work it out with them if I can or cut them out of my life if I can't. I am "out" too, after all--I really have no interest in ever having to hide parts of myself or my relationships to appease homophobes again. I did enough of that in high school, ha ha. That might be the core part of my disagreement with >>49 -san's view of things, which rereading his post feels like a very closeted argument.
> >When I think of trans they are either sex workers or dorky teensThis took me out because I recently became friends with another trans girl from my bar that fits the "dorky teen" label to a T, ha ha ha. I'm certain there are plenty that don't fit those two larger stereotypes, though.
>> 55 Anonymous Counsellor 2026-06-25 00:12 ID:Heaven
>>54
> >That might be the core part of my disagreement with >>49 -san's view of things, which rereading his post feels like a very closeted argument.Closeted argument? I’ve never liked the idea of people knowing who I’m having sex with or what kind of stuff I get my rocks off to. I don’t get why people make a big deal over that or make it a core of their identity or feel like they need to flash it everywhere. Secrecy is fun! It’s just me, her, alone somewhere quiet. Time to ourselves. No pressure. No noisy social environment. No judgement. I’ve never liked the idea of being “open.” Maybe because I come from a strictly religious upbringing? No sex outside marriage. Date but as long as it’s an open secret. I like this it’s cozy. Tougher but more commitment. When it comes to homophobes, I used to consider myself one until I realized I didn’t have to align myself with annoying flag wavers and label maniacs. People hate the gay culture more than anything else.
I’m surprised there are a lot of blue collar conservatives in the porn business but I’ve heard this from other people too. Do you get much exposure to her work? Like have you ever seen her on set or talked to other coworkers besides other prono actresses? Must be a surreal experience. Have you watched her stuff yet or is that uncomfy for you? Seeing a bunch of guys fucking my girl and knowing fat netdwellers jerk off to it would make me super jealous and angry.
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