we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "FAILURE TO READ THIS NEWSLETTER MAY RESULT IN YOUR BUM FALLING OFF" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * ALIEN - The text-y word game * SURPRISINGLY BULGING 'what happened next' bit * PHOTO GAME - How to make a perfect cup of tea ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "It looks like the web ___/ _ |/_ > This week: Big-Screen Comedy Cameos << Brighten up films by adding classic characters from the world of sitcoms and TV comedy. Let's see Onslow comparing vests with Bruce Willis or the Fonz jump Jaws. http://b3ta.com/challenge/bigscreencomedycameos ------------------------------------------------- : FOLLOW UPS You know, what happened "next" etc * JOEL & NATT'S TV SHOW SUCCESS - last week we mentioned that two old B3tans were taking on kids TV and the viewing figures have been great, Natt writes, "Netflix's Top Ten runs from Monday to Sunday, and we came out last Thursday. We thought we had no chance of making the list because we're a new children's programme, not from an established IP and we were only on the service for half the week. Well, we hit number 7 with 2 million views last week for our dopey, silly, farty, and very bad dinosaurs. A real honour to be there with some great shows." So do check out Bad Dinosaurs if you have little ones, safe in the knowledge it comes from the minds of the man who did SPOOOOOONGUARD and the other one who spent 10+ years pretending to be a Tory MP and somehow wasn't actually as far-right as the ones we ended up with. * EGG POD LIVE 2024 - Chris from our favourite Beatles podcast tells us that there will be a live event this summer and also offered us a couple of tickets so your newsletter editor will be there, if not probably on stage this time, dressed as a fat policeman. * BRITISH GOLF - Matt Round says, "if you need some follow-up content, you can mention Dog Poo Golf's UK Mode". Apparently you can press the £ key and the game gets more British which probably means it'll invade you 100 years ago and more recently fuck up your mortgage. https://vole.wtf/dog-poo-golf/ * TEXT CHAT RADIO DOC - Your editor got to read out 5 or 6 Fesshole confessions on this Radio 4 documentary about group chats. Worth a listen actually, pretty entertaining, and we're not just saying that because we're working with the producer on another project that we can't just talk about just yet. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001xvdh ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Some ideas to kick you off * "SON I'M THIRTY, I ONLY WENT WITH YOUR MOTHER COZ SHE'S DIRTY" - find photos of Shaun Ryder aged 30 to his current age and write rhymes for each one. "Son I'm 61, I only went with your mother coz she looked like Simon Le Bon" * P U S S Y I N B I O GENERATOR - Yeah you can type out this bollocks with a bit of cut and paste but a tool might be fun, especially if you got it to say sillier variations. * GIVEN WE'VE RECENTLY LEARNT HOW POORLY MEN WIPE THEIR ARES - someone should be a book "All The Simple Stuff Your Dad Didn"t Teach You Because He Was Too Busy Playing With His Phone" and it literally being on how to wipe your bum, tie shoelaces & use a knife and fork correctly. Send us an email using the magic and awesome power of an internet form: https://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : PATREON THANKS We love all these people. Almost romantically. *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON JAMES* *STOOBERT* 24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY, SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright, lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna, Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster, blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green, Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane, Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase, Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt. EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round additional links; Monkeon for image challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You JUST learned that? - Kat) And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger, Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss, Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards, Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD, and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker, Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson, Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx. BONUS THANKS: Gillian Parrott, Funny_hat & Gub~gub. BONUS THANKS TO NEWEST: Niomi Wightman, Matt & JonC. Super-newest thank to Benjamin Blundell and Stuart. Super bonus news thanks to Luka Mikec, Peter Henningsen & Mike Coats. And do please donate as you get occasional "bonus" content. Maybe. No, actually done a couple of bits recently, do sign up. https://www.patreon.com/b3ta Like Liz Truss, we too are victims of the Deep State, who've conspired to prevent the B3ta newsletter having more subscribers. Take a blow against the unelected blob by telling your friends to sign up. https://b3ta.com/subscribe/ ------------------------------------------------- : AH FUCK IT, BONUS 'YOU'RE OLD' FESSHOLE "Went on a night out for the first time in ages and asked the DJ to play Mr Brightside. He said sorry we aren't playing golden oldies tonight. It was that exact moment I realised I've gotten old." next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive