we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 127: "KILL ALL NUNS" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * SHOP - New shirt designs * RADIO - Dave from Blur + Weebl * RANT - Bit Torrent TV ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Kill the nuns << "It's been a while since I made a nun game," writes Brian Mung, "so here's the new one." Blimey. This is both lovely-looking and quite a tough challenge. Mung normally puts interesting animations at the end of his games - but we can't complete it to find out. http://www.brianmung.com/nungunner.htm >> Kubrick Vs. Weebl << The wait is over - the great auteurs of cinema and the web have collaborated at last. OK, Weebl has simply nicked a bit of Kubrick's Spartacus and stuck a gag in it. But it made us giggle so we're happy. http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/31/ >> Scandal Generator << What's been missing from our Labour Government has been a good dose of sex scandal. Why not create your own with a donkey and a few politicians' heads? http://www.mrandmrswheatley.co.uk/scandal.html >> I turned my piss pink << "I managed to change the colour of my wee" writes Lurking Bon, "by eating a large jar of pickled beetroot. Just thought I'd share the joy. You should try it - the pink wee lasts all day." http://www.pressanykey.net/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA RADIO Booze Related Disasters This week Rob "B3ta" Manuel and Jonti "Weebl" Picking will be talking about your worst drinking experiences. Dave "Jada" Stevenson is taking a week off due to some personal drinking experiences. http://b3ta.com/questions/booze_related_disasters/ We've also invited Dave Rowntree from Blur into the studio for a chat. You can learn more about B3ta Radio and how to tune in here: http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/ ------------------------------------------------- : BIT TORRENT TV Stuff we've watched this week With the increasing adoption of broadband, more web users are using the net to swap TV shows. Back in the day it was Kazaa, but it's become increasingly unreliable and harder to find versions without spyware. At B3ta towers we're impressed with Bit Torrent, a nifty idea that makes downloading stuff quicker as more people start sharing the link. TV channels and ISPs are aware of the demand for downloading TV via the net and trialing services based upon streaming video. This sucks - we want video we can download and watch in our own time. So thank God for Bit Torrent and rabid fans running sites to share their TV viewing habits. The fans are doing a better job at serving the needs of the users than the TV companies. Anyway. To give you a taster of the brave new world, here's some of the TV we've been watching that isn't available in the UK. >> Tripping the Rift << New Sci-Fi 3D cartoon based upon a web short written by jobbing producers at King of The Hill back in the 90s. With the new production they've sacked the original team - but it's still funny and rather mucky. And how long before a men's magazine commissions a photo-shoot with the leading CGI lady, Six? Er, probably not long. >> New South Park << Season 8 of South Park opens with an anime inspired episode. Butter's fans will have their hearts broken when they see the indignities heaped upon him. BTW: Some of you may have given up on South Park due to bad scheduling, but trust us, the writing is as fantastic and iconoclastic as ever. >> Wonderfalls << Genre fiction fans have been looking to Buffy alumnus Tim Minear to supply their weekly supply of fantasy and humour. We watched the pilot a few hours ago and enjoyed it immensely. It's got talking animals in it - how good is that? The sad bit is that it's already under threat of cancellation, with the producers sending open letters to fan sites saying, "please watch." Fingers crossed. All these shows can be found via http://www.torrents.co.uk/ You'll need a fat Internet connection and to install Bit Torrent to make the links work. http://bitconjurer.org/BitTorrent/ BTW: Any working torrents to international TV that YOU think we should be watching, then get in touch at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ (Assuming we don't get closed down for speaking truthfully about how people are using the Internet these days.) ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Rejected South Park << A couple of years back the creators of South Park were asked by Shockwave to create an animation series. Er.. the work was rejected. It's not hard to see why - check it out - the work is both unsettling and obscene. http://www.trioplus.tv/plus/princess/ep01.html >> Odd plant growing game << Alert readers will remember that "drop icons on the planet" game we featured a few weeks back. Here's the sequel. It's a bit easier to understand but just as inventive. http://www.eyezmaze.com/vanilla/ >> Origins of the Smiley << Fucking smileys. We hate them. They're gay. Ever wondered who the twat was who thought them up? Scott E Fahlman is the man to blame. http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/~sef/sefSmiley.htm >> Buffy cruise << With Buffy and Angel both cancelled, what next for the actors in the Whedonverse? It's all right for Sarah Michelle Gellar and her starring roles in such quality flicks as Scooby Doo. But the more obscure members of the cast are basically fucked, and reduced to appearing in the fan fleecing phenomenon of celebrity cruises. http://slayercruise.com/ >> Adventure game << Ooh, this feels fresh. It's an enjoyable point and click adventure but the clever bit is that there is a chat-room at the bottom of the screen with people swapping hints and tips. Smart and engaging way to liven up an old format. http://server-admin.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/motas/mys... >> Competitive eating << The Guinness Book of Records removed competitive eating from their roster in the 70s due to concerns about health. The sport is still going strong in America though. This skinny little thing, called Sonya Thomas apparently, is rather good at it. http://www.ifoce.com/profile.php >> Worst Flash game ever << "Not sure if this guy's taking the piss," writes Max Smethurst, "or if this is actually his idea of a good game. It's a rather funny momentary diversion nonetheless." Agreed. The crapness of this game made us giggle hard. http://www.angelfire.com/creep/bigrigs/bigrigs11.s... ------------------------------------------------- : THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH Handicapped kittens The world of kitten breeding is a slightly odd place. Think Dr Mengele but with cats. Our little black hearts go out to this poor thing which, due to bad breeding, was born with wonky paws. http://handicappedpets.com/bendy/ BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on the web recently? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Film of the Game Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted films made of playground games you used to play: http://b3ta.com/challenge/filmofthegame/ We asked B3ta boarder 'BigBomba' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. BigBomba writes - #1 "Edward Paperstonescissorhands - love the way he knows what the other hand will be, yet he never chooses stone. Mong. (sharpy) http://b3ta.com/board/2872887 #2 "Penfight - Everyone used to do this back in school. If you didn't, go draw on your workmate/boss/cat NOW. (Happy Shopper) http://b3ta.com/board/2875993 #3 "Batman - Great entry, takes me back....... ahhhhh jumpers for goal-posts, those were the days." (squid ink) http://b3ta.com/board/2887337 "Oh, and although this is not strictly a valid entry, I just thought this, by ddavex, was brilliant:" http://b3ta.com/board/2878261 >> This Week's Challenge << This week, b3ta contributor "Fabulous Dancing Yak" gave us the suggestion, "Whoah! That wasn't there when I went to bed!" http://b3ta.com/challenge/whoah/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * HOOVER ART - last week we asked you to spill loads of dirt and hoover it up into something interesting. Spiny gave it a go and drew - surprise surprise - a huge cock. Wicked. We reckon the Turner Prize is in the bag. http://www.spiny.org/b3ta/hoover_art/ * "I LOVE HORSES" CRAP INTERVIEW - we found the The Bagel Brothers, the chaps who wrote the equine jingle that did the rounds. We asked them for an interview and they gave us really crap one word answers. Silly monkeys. ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * MADAME CURIE'S PERIODIC TABLE OF BLOB EUPHEMISMS - Pb / Plum butter, Mg / Menstrual gush. * ROBOT HAND-JOBS - convert those huge robot arms used in car factories into advanced wanking devices. Maybe with a conveyor belt for the happy customers. * SONIC WEAPONS FOR PHONES - warning: don't set as ring-tone. May cause internal haemorrhaging and involuntary bowel evacuation. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Jinx, ginmakesamanmean, whedonesque, Daffydil, Hapax Legomena and Max Smethurst. Top Tippery by Wifey. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the baby b4ta monkeys. (71942) ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: To avoid milk boiling over, rub some butter round the top of the pan. The milk won't go higher than the butter. This is because of science. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive