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   NEWSLETTER: "IN NICE WITH HIS TROTTERS UP, YEAH?"
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 This Week:
 * VIDEO - Mini foghorn doc
 * CAUSING TROUBLE - Is there equality on Twitter?
 * IMAGE CHALLENGE - Football
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're shitting the
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   bed... together"
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  
 B3ta email 683  - 29th June 2018
 Read this issue in another desktop window:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue683
 -------------------------------------------------
 Hello! Yes it's a B3ta newsletter, sorry for
 missing last week but your editor got locked out
 his flat and then sunburnt. That's just how life
 is in the cutthroat email newsletter world.
 Anyway, we've got a busy newsletter for you this
 week, so hold on your "Make B3ta Great Again"
 hats and settle in for some linky action.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SHORT FOGHORN DOC
   "Insert noise that sounds like a foghorn here"
   RompaStompa has made a short film about a using
   a foghorn and it's extremely loud and extremely
   satisfying.
 https://www.b3ta.com/links/Foghorn
 -------------------------------------------------
 : GENDER CODE
   Who do people listen to?
   We're working some code you can point at any
   Twitter account and it does a rough analysis of
   how many men / women they follow. It's probably
   a bit problematic and would cause rows, but
   here's what we've learnt so far:
   NEWSPAPERS:
   @guardian listens to 65% men and 35% women
   @Telegraph listens to 66% men and 34% women
   @thetimes listens to 70% men and 30% women
   @TheSun listens to 70% men and 30% women
   @theeconomist listens to 91% men and 9% women
   POLITICS:
   @ukip listens to 72% men and 28% women
   @Conservatives listens to 70% men and 30% women
   @TheSNP listens to 60% men and 40% women
   @LibDems listens to 58% men and 42% women
   @labour listens to 56% men and 44% women
   @TheGreenParty listens to 54% men and 46% women
   POP MUSIC:
   @GaryBarlow listens to 15% men and 85% women
   @robbiewilliams listens to 78% men and 22% women
   Gary is woke, Robbie's all blokes.
   We're turning this into a bot... it's not quite
   ready yet, but you can pre-follow at:
 https://twitter.com/whotheylistento
 -------------------------------------------------
 : TROUSERS TROUSERS TROUSERS TROUSERS TROUSERS
   Sponsored patreon
   Trousers. Trousers. Trousers. Trousers.
   Trousers. Trousers. Trousers. Trousers.
   Trousers. Trousers. Trousers. Trousers.
 https://hebtro.co/
   BTW: Trousers.
 -------------------------------------------------
 Create your "right-wing commuter village name" by
 adding your favourite Britpop band to your
 favourite 1970/80s TV presenter.
 Suede Madeley
 Ash Lynam
 Lush Craven
 Longpig Chegwin
 -------------------------------------------------
 : TWO FROM SWEDEMASON
   Mash-up king mashes stuff up for YOU
   For our money Swede is the best mashup artist
   around and we do use the word artist - he puts
   so much thought and creativity into his work,
   and we find him genuinely inspiring. Here's two
   we missed featuring due to our rather sporadic
   gaps in newslettering over the last few years:
   Mumm-ra does Old Dirty Bastard:
 https://www.b3ta.com/links/Shimmy_Shimmy_Mumm_Ra
   And this bit of Arnold Schwarzenegger shouting about carpets.
 https://www.b3ta.com/links/Back_to_the_Carpet
 -------------------------------------------------
 You can tell how terrible the readers of a print
 publication are by the intensity of ads for
 watches, cars and foreign property investment.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FENTON DEATH METAL
   A blast up your woofer from the doggy past
  
   From the memes-you've-almost-forgotten drawer
   comes this from the charmingly named 'wankdog'
   who writes: "I put Fenton vid over some death
   metal." It works too - also don't you think
   with all this World Cup on, when the commenters
   get excited and think someone is about to score
   and they shout the player's name it's all a bit
   "FENTON!"?
 https://www.b3ta.com/links/Fenton_Death_Metal
 -------------------------------------------------
 Billy Joel reckons "we didn't start the fire,"
 but if you remove the water from urine you are
 left with the flame-encouraging sodium nitrate,
 so it's entirely possible that the fire was
 started by wee.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : DIY MAYPOLE TREE
   Because art is what you make it
   Wilow1 has been running around town and making
   street furniture into maypoles with the
   application of ribbons - then trying to get
   people to dance with him. You secretly wish you
   did stuff like this.
 https://antonhechtresearch.wordpress.com/a-maypole...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IF YOU NEED PR THEN CALL ED, OK?
   Sponsored patreon
   Ed Zitron = PR. Ed Zitron = PR. Ed Zitron = PR.
   Ed Zitron = PR. Ed Zitron = PR. Ed Zitron = PR.
   Ed Zitron = PR. Ed Zitron = PR.
 https://twitter.com/edzitron
 -------------------------------------------------
 DID YOU KNOW: Superman wouldn't need to leave bed
 for a piss as he could just lay on his back and
 wee into the air, and train his eye lasers onto
 the urine stream and turn it into vapour before
 it landed on his leg or stomach.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEADLINE OF THE WEEK
   "Dead Rat At The Hipster Bakery"
   Loving this headline on this court news story
   although can't decide whether it should be a
   UB40 comeback single or a new Fall track.
 http://courtnewsuk.co.uk/dead-rat-at-the-hipster-b...
 -------------------------------------------------
 Nick Mason has a 3 LP box set of his solo
 material out. If you’re considering buying a box
 set of material from Pink Floyd's drummer, you
 have too much money and should voluntarily up
 your personal tax rate.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : KINKS REFORMING
   Old men rejoice
   In news that's sent men of a certain age
   scuttling to their mancaves to listen to their
   C90s, we're happy to report that North London's
   finest are reforming and doing a new LP.
   Actually we couldn't give a shit about a new
   LP, but we are excited by the idea of them
   doing some serious promo. Genuinely hope that
   James Corden (shut up haters) takes Ray on a
   little car drive around Muswell Hill, and the
   BBC do a Genesis-style reunion doc where they
   put the band in the same room and interview
   them together for maximum friction.
   This is the joy of old bands - the friction
   between them is hugely relatable as, like us
   all, they are stuck with these people like
   members of family. And unlike Chas and Dave,
   Ray and Dave ARE actual family.
   And to warm you up, this Channel 4 interview
   with Ray is OK - although a bit unsettling as
   he keeps staring directly at the camera.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch
 -------------------------------------------------
 : EVERYTHING IS A FALL TRACK
   Even every page on Wikipedia
   Did you know that if you press the 'random
   page' button on Wikipedia almost any of them
   could be Fall songs?
   The Griswolds
   Mentai Rock
   Donna Caponi
   Tramlink route 5
   Netherlands national football team 1995
   William Leonard Marshall
   Airbus A321
   Hombres a precio
   Shaft voltage
   List of place names of Spanish origin in the
     United States
   Try it for yourself at:
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
   Actually, maybe the challenge is finding ANY
   source of arbitrary text that COULDN'T be a
   Fall track.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : COCK AND BALLS CORNER
   Cataloging everything that looks like genitals
   "Whilst I'm sure this microphone gives a
   superior sound, I for one shall not be
   purchasing it, due to it's curious shape,"
   informs RompaStompa. However, we've bought two.
 http://www.sanken-mic.com/en/qanda/index.cfm/18.58
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Not wearing briefs, or smelling of beefs
   * RETRO COMPUTER NERD TV - You can now watch
   all 146 original TV programmes and run 161
   computer programs from the 1980s BBC Computer
   Literacy Project. Oh man, this is heaven.
 http://bit.ly/CLPArchive 
   * WHY YOU SHOULD BUY ALL THE DOMAIN NAMES - lol
   at someone doing this to Donald Trump's shitty
   hotel chain.
 http://www.trumphotels.org/
   * DANNY DYER - you've probably watched Danny
   Dyer doing his Brexit talk by now but wow is he
   good. Always used to find Danny annoying but
   something has happened in the last year or two
   and he's worn us down with his act, and now
   it's just hilarious. The comic timing of the
   final "twat" should be studied if you want to
   know a thing or two about being funny.
 https://twitter.com/cjsnowdon/status/1012439971188...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
   "Football"
   Apparently there's a World Cup on so go and
   photoshop some football and show the world
   B3ta's deep understanding of sport.
 https://www.b3ta.com/challenge/football/popular/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FOLLOW-UPS ON PREVIOUS SHIT
   Like we're a newspaper or something
   * CYRIAK FUNDED - pleased to report that the
   internet's best animator has got his book
   funded by Unbound. How the funding works it
   that pays for the production, so any money you
   chuck at him now is profit. So go chuck some
   money:
 https://unbound.com/books/horse-destroys-the-unive...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THANKS
   Sweeplovesfisting, Wil, Cr3, Kris.
   Subjlols via @Ben_Winkley & obviously @MrDDyer.
   Proofing from @simonmacmichael.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
 * JOSH MCMILLAN, * AARON HOLMES, * TOM JENKINS
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 MCCREADIE, * ALEX MORRIS, * JAMES O'BRIEN.
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 -------------------------------------------------
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   And remember. Art is what's left when you take
   the hedgehog away.

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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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