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#Post#: 197--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: yogasimplifiedmethod Date: November 22, 2022, 12:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=erin_kelly link=topic=14.msg189#msg189
date=1669132504]
Chapter 12
Travel Tip #4 - Walk a mile in your partner’s shoes. I like this
travel tip because in any relationship I believe it is important
to have empathy and compassion. It can be helpful to take a step
back when you feel like your needs aren’t being met and instead
step into your partner's shoes and think about what they are
dealing with.
Chapter 14
Travel Tip #5 - Cultivate desirable qualities. This tip wants
you to pick a trait from a list that would serve you to develop
and the word I am choosing is patient. At times I have a hard
time being patient and sitting with what is. I get anxious and
am constantly looking at the future and worrying about what's to
come. Being patient is a trait I want to develop.
[/quote]
Yes, empathy and compassion. When two people become one, we seem
to forget our partners are their own person and interpret things
differently. As they say, patience is a virtue. Practice small
amounts of it daily and it will redevelop those neural pathways.
#Post#: 200--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: Dmurphy193 Date: November 22, 2022, 3:39 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 12, travel tip #3: Pave your own way; This travel tip
spoke to me because I’m currently in the middle of a separation
and I feel like I am content without being in a relationship.
However being in a relationship would not change my spiritual
path and with regard to religion and spirituality, the qualities
that I would look for in a mate would be someone who is open
minded about the subject and able to see things from different
perspectives. I don’t follow any particular religion but I was
forced to learn about Christianity as a child. I wouldn’t mind
what religion my partner believed in, as long as they are not
trying to force it on me as it is the only correct one. I am
always interested in learning more about spirituality and I find
Hinduism and Buddhism really fascinating but also would not
expect my partner to accept it over whatever their beliefs are.
Chapter 13, Contemplate the role of sex in your life: I don’t
know if I have ever thought of sex as spiritually rewarding.
I’ve always thought my sex life and spiritual life were
unrelated. I think my attitude has stayed the same, since diving
into and learning more about spirituality, so it has not
changed.
Chapter 14, Don’t be hard on yourself: This is something that I
used to constantly struggle with. I don’t treat myself unkindly
but I do have high expectations for most things that I’m doing
and not beating myself up when things don’t play out how I
envisioned it going, does make it easy to let yourself be
discouraged or disappointed. Now I just try and do the best that
I can and if it doesn’t turn out how I expected and I get
another opportunity, I’ll try it again to make it a little
better then I had originally.
#Post#: 208--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: yogasimplifiedmethod Date: November 27, 2022, 3:34 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Darren link=topic=14.msg200#msg200
date=1669153161]
Chapter 12, travel tip #3: Pave your own way; This travel tip
spoke to me because I’m currently in the middle of a separation
and I feel like I am content without being in a relationship.
However being in a relationship would not change my spiritual
path and with regard to religion and spirituality, the qualities
that I would look for in a mate would be someone who is open
minded about the subject and able to see things from different
perspectives. I don’t follow any particular religion but I was
forced to learn about Christianity as a child. I wouldn’t mind
what religion my partner believed in, as long as they are not
trying to force it on me as it is the only correct one. I am
always interested in learning more about spirituality and I find
Hinduism and Buddhism really fascinating but also would not
expect my partner to accept it over whatever their beliefs are.
Chapter 13, Contemplate the role of sex in your life: I don’t
know if I have ever thought of sex as spiritually rewarding.
I’ve always thought my sex life and spiritual life were
unrelated. I think my attitude has stayed the same, since diving
into and learning more about spirituality, so it has not
changed.
Chapter 14, Don’t be hard on yourself: This is something that I
used to constantly struggle with. I don’t treat myself unkindly
but I do have high expectations for most things that I’m doing
and not beating myself up when things don’t play out how I
envisioned it going, does make it easy to let yourself be
discouraged or disappointed. Now I just try and do the best that
I can and if it doesn’t turn out how I expected and I get
another opportunity, I’ll try it again to make it a little
better then I had originally.
[/quote]
I agree with you Darren, regarding a religion my partner may
follow. It's all good as long as it's not forced upon me. The
cool thing about Hinduism is you can follow the philosophy and
be affiliated with religious beliefs. There are many gods to
choose from and what it boils down to is the connection with the
self and the higher power, the omnipresent, the all-pervasive.
Answering chapter 13 can be interesting based on our views of
sex. Some view it as spiritual if they view it through the lens
of ascending (whatever they may think of ascending). Touching on
the Tantra topic, some view sex as a tantric practice while
others are asexual and view intercourse as simply procreating.
Doing the best we can is all we can do, and it's a relief to
know we have that ability rather than not.
#Post#: 225--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: Erin Curro Date: November 29, 2022, 2:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 12
Travel Tip #4: Walk a mile in your partner’s shoes
I love this travel tip. It can be easy for us all to get caught
up in the go, go, go of life, work, other responsibilities, etc.
I have been focusing on flipping the script in terms of how much
time/energy I put into work and instead prioritizing what
matters most to me, my relationship with my husband who I
cherish more than anything. Especially after being sick with
COVID I had to trust that things won’t blow up if I am not able
to work for example and that no matter what I deserve to put
myself and my family first. YTT has also helped me look at my
values and what matters most. The more I have prioritized what
matters most the happier I am at work and in other areas too.
This also makes me reflect on the Five Love Languages and just
knowing my husband and thinking of how to best love and care for
him and putting myself more in his shoes. I feel fortunate as we
align in many ways on our love language, physical touch and
spending quality time together is really special for us. Even
though we both have full schedules, I am proud of how we
prioritize caring for each other and also care for each other by
respecting supporting the other in caring for themselves too,
for example me with YTT or football for Jim. Marriage and our
relationship in general has continuously helped me learn to not
only better care for myself but also learn how to prioritize
best care for my better half too. And it’s been a joy to watch
our relationship continue to deepen and evolve. I truly could
not ask for a better life partner and have the fullest heart to
be able to say that.
Chapter 14
Travel Tip #4: Don’t be hard on yourself
Don’t be hard on yourself. This has always resonated with me.
Based on my personality (hello recovering perfectionist) I have
always been so compassionate towards others and very (very lol)
hard on myself. I feel like that is just true of human nature
and the society we live in, it is much easier and more natural
to care for others more compassionately than we do ourselves. We
think tough love is functional or productive but in many ways it
is the exact thing that keeps us feeling stuck and is a way of
perpetuating any form of stress, trauma, abuse, you name it that
we experienced on ourselves. It feels less safe to be kind to
ourselves. I have to monitor this and I try to reflect
practicing what I preach. I am also very open with my clients or
others that I am human and not perfect either at engaging in
self-compassion as I also struggle with this too. As always, I
am grateful for YTT that it has helped me dial in on this even
more and while I know as long as I am human it will be a
process, I am aware that it also comes down to active choices I
make on what I choose to fixate on and the power of my mindset.
I would be lying if I did not say I was not struggling post our
last immersion, my brain has still been foggy with COVID and my
cues have not been on point in the way I would like or my
memory, and I was starting to get really anxious and just felt
off. I had to get to a point of you know what, if I literally
were to forget everything or literally fall on my face, I am in
a whole room of people who I adore and I know deeply care for me
too and it would all be ok and they would not let me fall. No
one would laugh at me or think I didn’t try hard enough. Once I
was able to let that go more (again a process! Lol), it helped
me breathe more easily again and find my footing. So apologies
in advance for whatever comes out of my mouth or if I say arm
and I mean leg I’m just gonna trust you all know what I mean and
roll with it with a smile haha. 😊
#Post#: 240--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: yogasimplifiedmethod Date: November 30, 2022, 10:55 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Erin Curro link=topic=14.msg225#msg225
date=1669752235]
Chapter 12
Travel Tip #4: Walk a mile in your partner’s shoes
I love this travel tip. It can be easy for us all to get caught
up in the go, go, go of life, work, other responsibilities, etc.
I have been focusing on flipping the script in terms of how much
time/energy I put into work and instead prioritizing what
matters most to me, my relationship with my husband who I
cherish more than anything. Especially after being sick with
COVID I had to trust that things won’t blow up if I am not able
to work for example and that no matter what I deserve to put
myself and my family first. YTT has also helped me look at my
values and what matters most. The more I have prioritized what
matters most the happier I am at work and in other areas too.
This also makes me reflect on the Five Love Languages and just
knowing my husband and thinking of how to best love and care for
him and putting myself more in his shoes. I feel fortunate as we
align in many ways on our love language, physical touch and
spending quality time together is really special for us. Even
though we both have full schedules, I am proud of how we
prioritize caring for each other and also care for each other by
respecting supporting the other in caring for themselves too,
for example me with YTT or football for Jim. Marriage and our
relationship in general has continuously helped me learn to not
only better care for myself but also learn how to prioritize
best care for my better half too. And it’s been a joy to watch
our relationship continue to deepen and evolve. I truly could
not ask for a better life partner and have the fullest heart to
be able to say that.
Chapter 14
Travel Tip #4: Don’t be hard on yourself
Don’t be hard on yourself. This has always resonated with me.
Based on my personality (hello recovering perfectionist) I have
always been so compassionate towards others and very (very lol)
hard on myself. I feel like that is just true of human nature
and the society we live in, it is much easier and more natural
to care for others more compassionately than we do ourselves. We
think tough love is functional or productive but in many ways it
is the exact thing that keeps us feeling stuck and is a way of
perpetuating any form of stress, trauma, abuse, you name it that
we experienced on ourselves. It feels less safe to be kind to
ourselves. I have to monitor this and I try to reflect
practicing what I preach. I am also very open with my clients or
others that I am human and not perfect either at engaging in
self-compassion as I also struggle with this too. As always, I
am grateful for YTT that it has helped me dial in on this even
more and while I know as long as I am human it will be a
process, I am aware that it also comes down to active choices I
make on what I choose to fixate on and the power of my mindset.
I would be lying if I did not say I was not struggling post our
last immersion, my brain has still been foggy with COVID and my
cues have not been on point in the way I would like or my
memory, and I was starting to get really anxious and just felt
off. I had to get to a point of you know what, if I literally
were to forget everything or literally fall on my face, I am in
a whole room of people who I adore and I know deeply care for me
too and it would all be ok and they would not let me fall. No
one would laugh at me or think I didn’t try hard enough. Once I
was able to let that go more (again a process! Lol), it helped
me breathe more easily again and find my footing. So apologies
in advance for whatever comes out of my mouth or if I say arm
and I mean leg I’m just gonna trust you all know what I mean and
roll with it with a smile haha. 😊
[/quote]
I'm so glad YTT helped you evaluate your values and priorities
and what means the most to you. The five love languages help,
and I can honestly say it helped me with my personal
relationship as well. Making a conscientious effort of giving my
partner what he needs helped me understand what love means.
Isn't it ironic we're harder on ourselves and less safe to be
kind to ourselves? The psyche we create within. Your clients are
very fortunate they have someone to go to who is open, a
realist, and raw. Personally, I'd feel more comfortable engaging
with someone who not only worked on academics but can tap into
lived nuances because it contributes to comfort, particularly
comfort in one's skin.
No apologies needed for whatever comes out, you're up there and
we're there to support you!
#Post#: 244--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: Madi Rowan Date: November 30, 2022, 11:14 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 12 - Travel Tip #4 Walk a Mile in Your Partner's Shoes
This one resonated because I am definitely in a season of my
marriage where my husband & I are trying to see things from each
other's perspective. As the book said, it's definitely an
excellent ego deflator. I personally feel like I'm walking a
fine line of seeing things from my husband's
perspective/compromising, & sacrificing my own happiness - in
regards to him seeing a life in Norway, where he's currently at
now. He plays basketball, which is his passion & loves being
overseas because he gets to do what he loves. And for me I feel
like I have to completely uproot & sacrifice my "flow" when I am
overseas with him. It's tough & something I'm actively trying to
figure out how to continue to be supportive, while also taking
care of myself too.
Chapter 13 - Travel Tip #2 Sanctify the Act
I think this is a good reminder because in today's world,
everyone is busy, days are full, & then when you have intimate
time with your partner, it can be easy to rush through & then
move on to the next thing (during or after sex). I know I'm
definitely guilty of that sometimes! I could definitely be more
intentional about viewing that time as more sacred. I will say,
both my husband & I have physical touch as one of our love
languages, so I really value other forms of intimacy too. We've
been together 7 years now & it seems silly to say but we've
always done what we call "full body hugs" randomly throughout
the day when we are together. It's so simple but so special & a
great way to connect throughout the day. We both love it & it
instantly makes each other feel safe, cared for, & loved.
Chapter 14 - Travel Tip #1 Metta Practice
I really liked this practice. I actually took a photo of this
page so I can come back to it as a practice for myself as well
as for other people in my life. To be completely honest, after
stepping away from my Catholic upbringing, I don't really find
that I'm drawn to the act of praying, however, I still love to
send good energetics/love/healing/light to people, so I feel
like this practice can bridge the gap for me! This is definitely
something I'll keep in my toolbox!
#Post#: 246--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: wantalli Date: December 1, 2022, 12:32 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 12: Walk a mile in your partners shoes.
I think this tool has single handed lay changed my relationship
for the better. Once Chris and I started to come from a place of
wanting to listen to each other and not just be heard or work
individually through our problems, we truly became a team. We
often remind ourselves of that. It’s so easy to get frustrated
or swept up in the chaos of your own days, but pausing, being
present, and giving your partner the space to have there own
shit and baggage, or even accept and be open to the tools they
have to help you is huge. It’s knowing that it’s not always
about you, and seeing life from the space that they need you.
Chapter 13: Contemplate the role of sex in your life.
While trying not to overshare, I have thought a lot about this
recently and through YTT, and frankly since I’ve started to work
deep diving on my past. When I was younger sex was very heavily
tied to my sense of being wanted and self esteem. It was
something that I used as a tool to gain affection and feel free.
Or so I thought, however that was just sex for the sake of it.
But being tapped into someone and connected with them is so
different, and while they both hold beauty, I have really felt
nourished and connected in my current sex life versus the
disconnect of thrill and passion in my younger self.
I also noticed that feeling safe, and fulfilled by your partner
may warrant more or less sex and that super healthy too.
Chapter 14: Cultivate desirable qualities.
I was torn between “don’t be too hard on yourself” and
cultivating desirable qualities. But I feel like in some ways I
have already harped on that.
I really like the idea of choosing a weekly quality to try and
embody and identify with. I think it’s really easy to choose
qualities that serve your outward image or people’s thoughts on
you. But I want to try and choose qualities that serve myself. I
have noticed I am very quick to give my energy and attention and
aid elsewhere. But I feel deeply that I am due to recharge and
serve my own needs currently. Some words I will work on are:
Trust, Focus, Intention, Brave, Vocal.
#Post#: 253--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: yogasimplifiedmethod Date: December 1, 2022, 6:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Madi Rowan link=topic=14.msg244#msg244
date=1669871675]
Chapter 12 - Travel Tip #4 Walk a Mile in Your Partner's Shoes
This one resonated because I am definitely in a season of my
marriage where my husband & I are trying to see things from each
other's perspective. As the book said, it's definitely an
excellent ego deflator. I personally feel like I'm walking a
fine line of seeing things from my husband's
perspective/compromising, & sacrificing my own happiness - in
regards to him seeing a life in Norway, where he's currently at
now. He plays basketball, which is his passion & loves being
overseas because he gets to do what he loves. And for me I feel
like I have to completely uproot & sacrifice my "flow" when I am
overseas with him. It's tough & something I'm actively trying to
figure out how to continue to be supportive, while also taking
care of myself too.
Chapter 13 - Travel Tip #2 Sanctify the Act
I think this is a good reminder because in today's world,
everyone is busy, days are full, & then when you have intimate
time with your partner, it can be easy to rush through & then
move on to the next thing (during or after sex). I know I'm
definitely guilty of that sometimes! I could definitely be more
intentional about viewing that time as more sacred. I will say,
both my husband & I have physical touch as one of our love
languages, so I really value other forms of intimacy too. We've
been together 7 years now & it seems silly to say but we've
always done what we call "full body hugs" randomly throughout
the day when we are together. It's so simple but so special & a
great way to connect throughout the day. We both love it & it
instantly makes each other feel safe, cared for, & loved.
Chapter 14 - Travel Tip #1 Metta Practice
I really liked this practice. I took a photo of this page so I
can return to it as a practice for myself and other people in my
life. To be completely honest, after stepping away from my
Catholic upbringing, I don't really find that I'm drawn to the
act of praying; however, I still love to send good
energetics/love/healing/light to people, so I feel like this
practice can bridge the gap for me! This is definitely something
I'll keep in my toolbox!
[/quote]
Regarding chapter 12, I sympathize with your answer regarding
walking a mile in your partner's shoes. It is a challenge to
balance lifestyles and careers. It's a juggling act without our
partner feeling like they are not being seen or heard. Listen to
yourself and do what's best for you, and in the long run, use
your voice and inner strength.
Full-body hugs! That is really cute. It is a sacred practice,
but I totally get how we rush through it regarding time
efficiency. lol Fortunately, you both have the same love
language, which bonds you two together.
The metta practice is lovely, isn't it? A useful tool. :-)
#Post#: 254--------------------------------------------------
Re: Road Signs - Chapter 12/13/14
By: yogasimplifiedmethod Date: December 1, 2022, 6:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Alli Want link=topic=14.msg246#msg246
date=1669919541]
Chapter 12: Walk a mile in your partners shoes.
I think this tool has single handed lay changed my relationship
for the better. Once Chris and I started to come from a place of
wanting to listen to each other and not just be heard or work
individually through our problems, we truly became a team. We
often remind ourselves of that. It’s so easy to get frustrated
or swept up in the chaos of your own days, but pausing, being
present, and giving your partner the space to have there own
shit and baggage, or even accept and be open to the tools they
have to help you is huge. It’s knowing that it’s not always
about you, and seeing life from the space that they need you.
Chapter 13: Contemplate the role of sex in your life.
While trying not to overshare, I have thought a lot about this
recently and through YTT, and frankly since I’ve started to work
deep diving on my past. When I was younger sex was very heavily
tied to my sense of being wanted and self esteem. It was
something that I used as a tool to gain affection and feel free.
Or so I thought, however that was just sex for the sake of it.
But being tapped into someone and connected with them is so
different, and while they both hold beauty, I have really felt
nourished and connected in my current sex life versus the
disconnect of thrill and passion in my younger self.
I also noticed that feeling safe, and fulfilled by your partner
may warrant more or less sex and that super healthy too.
Chapter 14: Cultivate desirable qualities.
I was torn between “don’t be too hard on yourself” and
cultivating desirable qualities. But I feel like in some ways I
have already harped on that.
I really like the idea of choosing a weekly quality to try and
embody and identify with. I think it’s really easy to choose
qualities that serve your outward image or people’s thoughts on
you. But I want to try and choose qualities that serve myself. I
have noticed I am very quick to give my energy and attention and
aid elsewhere. But I feel deeply that I am due to recharge and
serve my own needs currently. Some words I will work on are:
Trust, Focus, Intention, Brave, Vocal.
[/quote]
Agree about pausing and being present and allowing the partner
the space to have their shit, decompresses the relationship
overall, and releases expectations. How you opened up about sex
and your relationship before versus now demonstrates the true
meaning of intimacy. Connection, nourishment, and feeling safe
for more or less sex are healthy.
Get your recharge, girl and serve yourself! Personify those
pillars of TRUST, FOCUS, INTENTION, BRAVE, VOCAL!
*****************************************************
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