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#Post#: 67--------------------------------------------------
Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: MrLyon
Date: October 11, 2012, 7:59 am
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For this week's outside reading assignment, I'd like you to
examine a business letter of any sort that can be found online.
You might take a look at a cover letter for a job application, a
formal correspondence between companies, a request for services,
or a formal note of thanks; in any case, examine the letter's
formatting, use of language, sentence structure, organization,
word choices, mechanics, and ideas. In no fewer than 300 words,
compose a response to the aforementioned topics in which you
analyze the letter's success or lack thereof in incorporating
these elements. Please be sure to include a link to the letter
in your response.
DUE DATE: Friday, October 12, 2012
#Post#: 68--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: cblock07
Date: October 11, 2012, 5:22 pm
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The article I read was about a person applying for a job. The
way the person started was very good. The person said that they
are interested in this job. They also said the great skills that
they have and said how passionate they are about writing. The
person also said how they would love to contribute their skills
of journalism. One bad thing is that in the second paragraph
they started with their name. That isn't good because at the end
you would state your name. They also said where they live and
what they have been doing for a job previously. One good thing
they included was that they have a lot of experience in many
business topics in writing. That fact might make the compay hire
that person. The person also said that the company has never had
anyone hired from their country, the person thinks he/she has a
shot at it. That person would be able to bring new topics and
good ideas to the work place. Another great thing the person
said was that journalism is their biggest passion. The way the
letter is set up is good. It is easy to follow and just flows
right along. The author really gets to the point and wants to be
hired. The author is really friendly and is open to hear back
from the company. After reading this article I can see this
person wanting this job. I would also say that there were some
positives and negatives in this job application. One thing is to
not start with your name because you end with it. Another thing
is to not tell them too much it could bore them. One good thing
is that they said how much exprience they have. Which is great
so they know what they are doing. This just shows how great of a
worker they would become.
HTML http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/letter-writing/58362-formal-letter-job-application.html
#Post#: 69--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: Cblock08
Date: October 11, 2012, 6:19 pm
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The article I read was a cover letter. The person who was
applying for the job did an excellent job to get their point
across. You definitely could tell they wanted the job but the
person just told what they were more than showed. In the fourth
paragraph she said “I’ve produced topnotch work...” She than
somewhat carries over and explains how she does this and why but
to me she seems to like to tell us what she is and not show us.
The formatting is fine. In the first paragraph she lightly goes
over why she’s perfect for the job and than she transitions into
the second paragraph and tells us what we will see in the
paragraphs to come. After this she explains her previous job and
than in the fourth paragraph she talks about her achievements.
All throughout her cover letter she makes it happy and her word
choice is different. To explain to us that she has many great
attributes she says “I’ve worn a lot of different hats.” I
believe that this will make the reader more intrigued in the
person and also it gives the person applying for the job a fun
and happy personality. Everywhere in the cover letter it states
why the person applying, will be the best choice. She explains
how parts of her old job will help her with this job and makes
it clear to the person reading her cover letter that she will
work very hard to keep her job. The organization is very clear
and well thought out. Overall this cover letter is well written
and every part of it is good. It clearly explains why she wants
this job, why she is qualified for this job and how well she has
prepared to have this job.
HTML http://www.askamanager.org/2011/09/great-cover-letter.html
#Post#: 70--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: cblock11
Date: October 11, 2012, 6:26 pm
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This person’s name is Christina and in my sample letter is
asking for an internship with Universal Studios. Christina is
using block format to write her letter for the internship.
Christina doesn’t use big words as if trying to impress them but
using common words. In the first paragraph Christina states why
she believes that she would be an ideal candidate by stating
that she was a business student at the University of Central
Florida when she was a junior. In the next paragraph Christina
states her experience “in sales and customer relations
management” and her courses in marketing. After she states that
she would wish to further explore the option of doing marketing
in her future. In the third paragraph Christina states why it
would be “mutually beneficial” for Universal Orlando to give her
the internship. If I didn’t know anything about business letters
or the block format I would actually believe that someone who
was extremely professional would have written this. I believe
that Christina did a great job in writing this letter for the
internship but I believe that she should maybe give some
examples of why she would be a great candidate and an ideal one.
Stating that she has some experience in these certain subjects
because she took them in college would definitely help in her
letter but she needs to give examples. Maybe say that she has
more experience in something when she was in a certain
situation, but other than that she is stating her credentials
and not exactly giving examples. It’s kind of hard to explain
but hopefully I explained it in the write way above. But other
than that I believe that Christina has written a brilliant
internship letter to Universal Orlando. This letter would
definitely give Universal Orlando something to think about.
HTML http://www.quintcareers.com/sample_internship_letter.html
#Post#: 71--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: cblock13
Date: October 11, 2012, 6:56 pm
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In this particular business letter, I was surprised to see that
the format wasn't exactly how we learned how to do it. Instead
of naming the person who is directly receiving the letter, the
writer just wrote "Customer Care Representative." when we were
learning how to properly write the salutation, the writer on
this business letter just saluted it to "sir or madam." clearly,
the writer was angry when writing the letter, and got his angry
out in a professional manner. The writer, Gregory Pinero,
politely stated; "please immediately issue me a refund for this
item, or I will be forced to dispute the charge on my credit
card...additionally your staff at the store was very rude when
refusing the return and refused to let me speak to the store
manager. The word choice in this letter was mature but the
vocabulary could have been enhanced. The writer clearly stated
why he was writing the letter and what changes he would like to
see after the letter is seen. Instead of lying the
representative, he told the truth and said he downloaded Windows
XP on the computer to see if it would work. He admitted the fact
hat he didn’t take off the computer because the terms and
condition of the return didn’t say anything about taking off any
programs that were installed. This is a different type of
business letter. Most business letters are applications for jobs
and trying to persuade the boss to hire the person. This
particular letter was a letter of complaint about an electronic
that was defective when he bought it. Because it was a type of
business letter, the writer was very professional and was polite
when writing his letter. He didn’t let his anger get the best of
him. He just wanted to inform them so other defective items
won’t be sold.
#Post#: 72--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: cblock13
Date: October 11, 2012, 6:58 pm
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Iforgot to put the link on, sorry.
HTML http://my-ecoach.com/modules/custombuilder/popup_printable.php?id=18603
#Post#: 73--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: cblock09
Date: October 11, 2012, 8:41 pm
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This business letter was written much differently then the one
we wrote in class. This business letter does not give a senders
address. At the top of the letter is the date. Explains in
detail the inside address and the name of the recipient of the
letter. The spacing is different. There are two spaces between
the date and the inside address and another two spaces between
the inside address and the recipient of the letter. The letter
has alot more explaining then a block format letter. Starts off
by mentioning college and graduation. The recipient and the
sender both went to "U Kansas". Then goes on to explain the
company and a future event that is on its way. The event is the
"Riviera's 50th anniversery". He doesnt explain his attributes
to how well he could set up the event or why he is the right man
for the position. Wants to have a "face-to-face" meeting. Gives
phone number at the end not at the beginning with the senders
address as it was suppose too. I did not like how this business
letter was written. No good examples, no senders address, and it
diddnt look like the guy was in the postition to earn the job.
HTML http://www.writinghelp-central.com/business-introduction-letter.html
#Post#: 74--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: cblock04
Date: October 11, 2012, 8:42 pm
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This letter is basically a contract that tells the recipient
that this company is interested in hearing his ideas, but also
wants him to sign this, showing that he understands some of the
company’s policies on the reception of his ideas. The first
thing I noticed about this business letter is that it is not
following block format, modified block format, or semi-block
format. The letter immediately starts off with “Dear _:”
instead of a proper business letter heading of the addresses and
names which means the recipient of this letter won’t know who it
is from or where to send a letter back to. The body paragraphs
follow block format except for the fact that there are no lines
spaced in between separate paragraphs. I like how the person
who wrote the letter utilized the numbering and lettering system
to break down different points of the letter; although I do not
think that it follows any of the standard formatting to do so.
Also I think the writer used the numbering and lettering system
to extensively which makes the reader forget what the original
point is. The language that is used is advanced and mature
which is imperative in this type of writing. “Nevertheless, we
would be pleased to accept your idea or proposal for review,
provided it is accompanied by this acknowledgement letter signed
by you.” I think this quote illuminates the proper business
language used. I do not like the font that the writer decided
to use, I think it is boring and basic. I don’t think the color
of the font matches with the color of the background very well
and the writer should have made the letter more appealing at
first glance if he is going to make the background a different
color than white.
HTML http://www.4hb.com/letters/ltrunslidea.html
#Post#: 75--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: cblock12
Date: October 11, 2012, 8:46 pm
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The business letter I read was about a business person looking
for a different job in the same company they are currently
working for. The start of this business letter was "As you know,
I am very happy to work and contribute to [FIRM, ex. COMANY
Limited]'s profits under your authority. Before you decide who
will fill the new [POSITION, ex. Sales Manager] position, please
allow me to mention a few matters which I am certain will
interest you. " This shows that the writer is trying to hook the
readers attention so he can explain why he/ she is the best one
possible for this position. It is also a good start because it
introduces why the writer is writing to the reader, and
explaining vague background on what they have done for work in
the past and how it has helped make them qualified for this job.
The body of the letter explains the writers past, and explains
their history as a sales person, and it gives the reader a
reason to keep reading and explaining what they can add to the
company, and if they get hired, they explain why it will be so
much better. When the writer explains in detail what they can
add to the company, they give specific facts on how and what
they can do for the company; "I know how we can increase sales
dramatically and I can gear our sales team to do precisely that.
As your Sales Manager, I truly believe that we can achieve in
excess of $10,000,000 in sales by the year 2000." This probably
gave the reader more of a reason to keep reading the letter, and
by giving exact facts on what the writer thinks he can do for
the company, it impresses the reader.
When the reader is wrapping of their letter, they say "I
understand that you are a very busy person. I will thus be
delighted to meet with you at any time you please to discuss how
I can be of greater benefit to you and your company." This
concludes the letter strongly and explains how the writer is
dedicated and committed to receiving the job.
HTML http://www.isampleletter.com/example/375.html
#Post#: 76--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #5 - Business Letter
DIR By: cblock06
Date: October 11, 2012, 8:48 pm
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The article I read was a job application. The person applying
for the job was very confident with their skills and what she
could do for the company. The writer was very passionate with
what he said about himself. He was very determined to get the
position with showing his best qualities. The writer, Jake
Smarts explains his history at the University of California and
how he succeeded in school. He explains how his knowledge of
marketing will be very good with making the company be more
successful. The format of the letter is very good and organized.
The writer states his very good qualities and how he will help
make the marketing business more successful. One bad thing about
this resume is that the writer does not give enough examples.
The writer states good details but there are not enough examples
and the paragraphs are very short. The paragraphs are only one
to two sentences in each paragraph. The writer uses strong
language to give details on how good he is for the job. The use
of strong language in the letter makes the details stronger. The
details in this letter make the examples stated show how he is a
very good person to fill this position. The sentence structure
is very strong with having good supporting details to show how
he should have the position. The author of this letter states
his reasons why he should get this position and is very open and
confident with his educational background. The author is also
very passionate with stating his background and showing why he
deserves this position. After reading this cover letter, I would
chose this person for the position because he has a very good
educational background and shows all of the characteristics that
a good business man should have while applying for a job
position. This cover letter shows how determined and passionate
someone should be while applying for a job.
HTML http://www.smartcoverletter.com/?gclid=CLeNqPOg-rICFUmd4AodsnkAaQ#
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