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#Post#: 36--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #2 - Personal Narrative
DIR By: cblock04
Date: September 18, 2012, 9:07 pm
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The personal narrative that I read is called “Crickets”
unfortunately the author is not named. This narrative is about
a person who has a deep seated hatred for crickets; he hates
everything from their repulsive appearance to their obnoxious,
surprisingly loud, chirps. The ideas are simple, the author
hates crickets and tells a story of how one annoyed and evaded
him for a little, and when he finally found the cricket he
smashed it with a sandal. This narrative is organized well, the
paragraphs break up different ideas and help with the fluidity
of the essay. The last paragraph, which is just three words,
tells the reader what the author hated about crickets the most
which is their loud chirping. I think this sums up the meaning
of the narrative and is a good ending to it.
“I can hear it. I know it’s only a few inches away. Now, the
battle begins as my adversary finally quiets, sensing my
approach. I freeze in mid-step, an urge to scream and lunge
clawing at me.” I think this quote is written very well, it
seems realistic how the narrator paused mid step when the
chirping stopped and I can picture this scene perfectly. I also
like this quote “Forget studying, forget writing and solving
problems, forget sleeping,” this shows how much the chirping
actually haunts the author and makes it impossible to even
function with it going on.
This narrative is written well and has no grammatical or
spelling mistakes. The paragraphs are not indented, but that is
not necessary for this type of writing. I do not like how the
author decided to put this narrative on a gray background, the
black front does not go well with it. Also I do not like how
some of the words are underlined and blue, I think this is
distracting to the eye.
HTML http://www.123helpme.com/view.asp?id=20517
#Post#: 37--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #2 - Personal Narrative
DIR By: cblock10
Date: September 18, 2012, 9:53 pm
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The Personal narrative I read about is about a playground match
in elementary school and how it brings a girl’s competitiveness
out. The idea of the whole narrative is centered around a
battle. In the playground, girls are fighting on the monkey bars
for reputations. The story never strays from this idea, it is
organized going from her in line waiting for her turn, the
actual battle, and then winning the match. Everything makes
sense, in chronological order, but we can see a pattern that is
linked in the beginning of the story and the end. The narrator
goes back in line after each matchup and then judges her next
rival. Instead of telling, the author does a good job of
creating a negative physical image of her opponent and allowing
us to see the match happening, describing her hands, her
opponent and how she attacks her opponent. But throughout the
beginning, a little in the middle, and at the end you can see
the trait expressed by the girl. She uses her voice to show how
competitive she really is. When she analyzes her opponent and
thinks she’s “too easy”, when she can’t lose her “reputation,”
and when she starts “counting off my next opponent.” she is
really showing she knows she will win, that she wants to win,
and that she wants to keep beating people. The word choice is
also used well, the girl Julie gets squeezed like a boa
constrictor, the first thought is a strong and suffocating force
that you can’t fight against. Another good use is when Julie
loses and then she hobbles over back to her side. When you
hobble you are injured, or defeated, as was Julie. The sentence
fluency is good, with the colorful and different words make the
story very easy to read. The convention is correct and the
presentation is nothing special, but there is a different color
font and page.
HTML http://teachers.saschina.org/rderozario/files/2010/10/Screen-shot-2010-10-09-at-4.54.28-PM.png
#Post#: 38--------------------------------------------------
Re: Outside Reading Assignment #2 - Personal Narrative
DIR By: cblock02
Date: September 19, 2012, 6:02 am
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In the personal narrative, “Snapshots”, the narrator recalls on
memories shared between her and her sister, Katie, from when she
was first born to when they are in high school. This is not
about literal snapshots of different times in their lives, but
mental snapshots that won’t be forgotten. She explains this when
she says, “Most of the snapshots of my life are held in the
photo albums of my mind”. But for the ones that she doesn’t
remember, she has her “shoebox photos” to help. This narrative
is about cherishing each moment you spend with a person and to
make sure that those moments are remembered forever. It is also
about close relationships between siblings or other family
members and friends.
This narrative is organized in chronological order from
beginning to end. In the second paragraph she uses the word,
“tiny”, to describe her smile. This could either mean that she
was very happy and didn’t want to show it, or it could mean
literally that her smile was tiny because she had a small mouth
because she was three years old. At the beginning of the
narrative, the tone of voice is very happy because she is
excited to see her new baby sister. This is shown when she says,
“That day, the camera caught the tiny smile only a big sister
could have as she holds one of the best birthday presents ever”.
Another way the theme of cherishing moments is shown is when she
says, “Looking at that photo makes me remember all the other
pictures I have of Katie and me, even when there was no camera
with film and batteries ready to go”. She is saying that even
when there wasn’t a camera to take a physical picture, she was
still able to take a mental picture that she will keep with her
for the rest of her life.
HTML http://www.thewritesource.com/studentmodels/wi-snapshots.htm
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