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#Post#: 57045--------------------------------------------------
3 for the Price of One!
By: Maddog STS Date: June 2, 2016, 11:08 am
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3 Jokes for the price of one (post)!
Oldie but Boodie:
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and a homely
brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its
way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes
through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged
into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is
heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman
is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The brunette thinks 'I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the
blonde and she struck the pervert.'
The blonde thinks 'I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to
grope me in the dark, mistook the dowdy brunette for me and she
slapped the beast.'
The Frenchman thinks 'I bet that perfidious Englishman touched
up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.'
The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for another tunnel so I can
slap that French twat again!'
:troll:
Snails
A wife and her husband are having a dinner party for some very
important guests.
The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be
perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't
have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband
to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the
door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting
the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the
water just a little further down the beach.
He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would
even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering
the snails.
All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was
standing right over him. They started talking, and upon
discovering they had much in common, she invited him back to her
place. They conversed for a while, and ended up spending the
night together, having the most spectacular night of sex for
either of them. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and
exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!"
He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his
bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way
to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was
in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he
dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the
stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife
standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this
time.
He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at
her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're
almost there!!"
:rolf:
Electricity
There was a man in Bulgaria who drove a train for a living.
He loved his job, driving a train had been his dream ever since
he was a child.
He loved to make the train go as fast as possible.
Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a
crash.
He made it out, but a single person died.
Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident.
He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by
electrocution.
When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana
as his last meal.
After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric
chair.
The switch was flown, sparks flew and smoke filled the air- but
nothing happened.
The man was perfectly fine.
Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a
failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man
was allowed to go free.
And somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the
train.
Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to
driving the train with reckless abandon.
Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two
people.
The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a
sentence of execution.
For his final meal, the man requested two bananas.
After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric
chair.
The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room- and
the man was once again unharmed.
Well, this of course meant that he was free to go.
And once again, he somehow manages to get his old job back.
To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet
another train and killed three people.
And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death.
On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal- three
bananas.
"You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you
and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm
not giving you a thing to eat, we're strapping you in and doing
this now."
Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to
the electric chair without a last meal.
The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room- and
the man was still unharmed.
The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said "Oh, the bananas had
nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
:palm:
#Post#: 57062--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3 for the Price of One!
By: Guderian 9139 Date: June 2, 2016, 2:13 pm
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Very nice Chuck!! :rolf:
#Post#: 57154--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3 for the Price of One!
By: TRIUMPH Cowboy7 Date: June 4, 2016, 10:23 am
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Omg! Lmfao!
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