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#Post#: 37789--------------------------------------------------
John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: Corbantis Date: September 17, 2015, 1:29 pm
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Send to me by one of my co-workers....
ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2015 EUROPE
From JOHN CLEESE
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events
in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from
"Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be
raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The
English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised
from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588,
when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to
"Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This
is the reason they have been used on the front line of the
British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher
levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white
flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military
capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful
Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They
also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the
only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of
Brussels ...
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so
the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old
Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No
worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels
remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this
weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has
ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person
And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are
getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430
BC.
Life is too short...
#Post#: 37807--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: warsteiner89 Date: September 17, 2015, 2:18 pm
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lol....great stuff man !! thanks for sharing .
#Post#: 37810--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: TKE919 Date: September 17, 2015, 2:27 pm
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Hate to be that guy, but ...
HTML http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/terrorismalert.asp
#Post#: 37811--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: warsteiner89 Date: September 17, 2015, 2:34 pm
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TKE919 = Squasher of good times , fun and seal clubbing.
#Post#: 37812--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: TKE919 Date: September 17, 2015, 2:36 pm
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[quote author=warsteiner1 link=topic=2537.msg37811#msg37811
date=1442518447]
TKE919 = Squasher of good times , fun and seal clubbing.
[/quote]
HTML http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/54486030.jpg
:mooning:
(Honestly, though, I've seen that thing at least 20 times since
around 2007.)
#Post#: 37821--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: Guderian 9139 Date: September 17, 2015, 3:31 pm
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:thankyou:
#Post#: 37826--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: Corbantis Date: September 17, 2015, 3:37 pm
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No problem TKE in aetting record straight. I will now go smack
my co-worker with a herring. Then I shall taunt him several
times,
#Post#: 37834--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: SGT Rock 1963 Date: September 17, 2015, 4:37 pm
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Damn its been alongtime since Monty Python use to be on.
#Post#: 37851--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: Knight of Annwn Date: September 17, 2015, 9:15 pm
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[IMG]
HTML http://i62.tinypic.com/214p5k8.gif[/img]
#Post#: 37938--------------------------------------------------
Re: John Cleese - 2015 European Threat Alerts
By: sly couger Date: September 18, 2015, 11:04 am
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awsome had me :rolf:
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