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#Post#: 32677--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: oxidative stres Date: July 14, 2015, 3:25 pm
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HTML http://img.pandawhale.com/98541-monkey-sigh-rimshot-gif-Imgur-7K6T.gif
#Post#: 32679--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: Maddog STS Date: July 14, 2015, 3:31 pm
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well put, Oxi lol
#Post#: 32720--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: Guderian 9139 Date: July 15, 2015, 10:43 am
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Back to the Confessional - the Final Curtain
An elderly man shuffles into a confessional.
The following conversation ensues:
Man: "I am 86 years old, have a wonderful wife for over 60
years, we are blessed with children, grandchildren and even
great grandchildren.
Yesterday, I picked up two college girls hitchhiking. We went
to a motel and I had sex with both of them...twice!"
Priest: "Do you truly repent these sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of Catholic Are you?"
Man: "I am Jewish"
Priest: "W -Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 86 years old...I'm telling Everybody!"
:old:
#Post#: 32752--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: Guderian 9139 Date: July 15, 2015, 3:10 pm
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I Like the French really I do
but I saw this and had to share:
The only seat available on a European train was directly
adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat
was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am,
please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman
looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, "You
Americans... such a rude class of people. Can't you see my
little FiFi is using that seat?" The American walked away,
determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down
to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman
with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?".
I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted
"You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also
arrogant....Imagine!" The American didn't say anything else. He
leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the
train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and
demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the
American.
An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly
"You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for
doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong
hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.
And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
#Post#: 32759--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: Gunmetalgrey1 Date: July 15, 2015, 4:05 pm
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Why doesn't a chicken wear underwear?
Because his pecker is on his head. :thankyou: :thankyou:
#Post#: 48548--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: Maddog STS Date: February 3, 2016, 12:00 pm
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THE LAST KISS
Back on June 9, a group of Peking, Illinois, bikers were riding
west on
I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker
Bridge. So
they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets
off
his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State
Trooper who
was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says:
"Hey baby.... Watcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear 'sensitive', George also didn't
want to
miss this 'be-a-legend' opportunity either, so he asked....
"Well,
before you jump, Honey-babe....why don't you give ole George
here your
best last kiss?"
So with no hesitation at all she leaned back over the railing
and did
just that....and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss, followed
immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up
approval
from his biker buddies, the onlookers, and even the State
Trooper, and
then says": "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had.
That's a
real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous
if you
rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl".
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
#Post#: 48549--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: AhBuaya Date: February 3, 2016, 12:02 pm
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:puke: :rolf:
#Post#: 48551--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: Gunmetalgrey1 Date: February 3, 2016, 12:06 pm
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Ha ha. Good one. Ol George the biker really got "Ruggered".
#Post#: 49118--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: Maddog STS Date: February 10, 2016, 3:27 pm
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A blonde drops an expensive skirt off at the cleaners.
As she is leaving, the lady behind the counter calls out, "Come
again!"
The blonde says over her shoulder as the door begins to close
behind her, "No, toothpaste this time."
:troll:
#Post#: 49124--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dial-a-Joke
By: Guderian 9139 Date: February 10, 2016, 4:14 pm
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:bigsmile: :thumb: :bigsmile:
:thankyou:
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