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#Post#: 1273--------------------------------------------------
[15] BEN
By: Zellaphone Date: January 24, 2021, 2:56 am
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[size=9pt]A hand tapped on his shoulder, starting to pull him
out of the light sleep he had fallen into. His name was said,
twice, and he recognized it right away, Rey telling him to wake
up. He questioned that, saying her name as he opened his eyes,
somewhat confused as he blinked a couple of times. The world
around him came back to view, and it didn't take him but a
second to remember what was going on, having not fallen too deep
into sleep. Above him, Rey laughed, smiling down at him
beautiful, and he wanted to just stay as he was, saying nothing
and simply gazing up at her in awe, but he couldn't. She pointed
out that he had fallen asleep, and he felt heat rush to his
cheeks, slightly embarrassed that he had done such a thing while
she had been washing his hair. He chuckled, apologizing and
explaining that he hadn't meant to fall asleep as he had. She
brushed it off, saying she might have done the same thing if
someone washed her hair. He opened his mouth to offer to do so
for her some time but quickly snapped his mouth back shut. He
shouldn't make promises like that. It would probably be too
strange. Instead, he lifted up his head, wincing slightly at the
crook in his neck before Rey began to gently dry his hair. He
waited patiently for her to finish, still enjoying the sensation
of her working through his hair. He felt so nice, and it was
jarring to him. He could barely remember the last time he felt
so comfortable, so at ease, even after the awful day they had
both had. He knew they'd have to reflect on all that had
happened at some point, but for now, he figured he could allow
himself a bit of peace. After finishing his hair, she asked if
he felt any better, and he couldn't help the wave of emotions he
was being hit with. It was difficult for him to come to terms
with just how cared for he felt or how safe he felt being behind
what had been enemy lines to him mere hours ago. It was all so
odd, and yet, so welcome. He was smiling again and laughing,
feeling freer than he probably ever had, and he wondered briefly
if it was wrong for him to feel such ways after everything that
had transpired recently. He gripped his wheelchair for a moment,
trying to fight off these emotions and tears that were
threatening to come. He didn't want to get emotional. Not yet.
Not in front of Rey again. She was already having to deal with
so much because of him. He told her that he felt much better,
being truthful, and thanking her. She nodded, acting as if
everything she was doing was nothing when it was really
everything to him. He thought of what would come next now that
she was finished with cleaning him, and he quietly asked if she
was going to leave now, also asking if she'd be back soon.
However, he quickly tried to make himself sound less desperate,
adding that she didn't technically need to come back and that
she likely had much that she needed to attend to that he was
keeping her from. She promised she'd only be gone for a little
bit, and he felt relief wash over him at that, comforted by the
knowledge that he'd be seeing her again today and not long from
now. He truly didn't wish for her to leave at all, but he knew
she needed to take care of herself. She confirmed that, saying
that she needed to get cleaned up, reminding him that she wasn't
comfortable with leaving him unattended. He still thought she
was worrying a bit too much since he could take care of himself,
but he didn't know just how many people knew that he was here,
waiting to jump at the first chance they could to attack him.
She also mentioned that he hadn't eaten dinner yet, insinuating
that she was going to bring him some. He was hungry,
surprisingly. He hadn't felt very hungry in days, it felt. She
told him that he'd need all the strength he could get, promising
again to be back soon. He nodded, looking over his shoulder at
her. "I will see you soon then," he acknowledged, feeling as
though he had just solidified that fact.
He remained in the bathroom after she left, waiting for the
medical droid to come and assist him. It helped him remove the
rest of his dirtied clothes, and it managed to help him into the
tub with little trouble at all, filling it with warm water that
had to ask to be turned up a couple of times. As the droid
helped clean him, scrubbing at his legs, Rey never left his
mind. He couldn't get over how kind she was being to him, or how
she had actually told him that she had missed him and cared
about him. He couldn't get over how she has been smiling and
laughing with him and taking care of him. Especially when just a
few hours ago... she had impaled him, but he didn't want to
think about that. He didn't want to think about too much in
general right now, knowing that Rey could be back at any moment.
He couldn't think about the day as a whole, he couldn't think
about his mother, his father, his uncle. Nothing. But he could
think about how grateful he was for Rey. They were finally,
finally together. Really together, and maybe it wasn't in the
way that he deeply wanted, but it was enough. They didn't have
to be a couple. Rey didn't have to have romantic feelings for
him. He just wanted to be with her in any way he could be, and,
for now, it sounded like they had a future of some kind
together. He didn't know what all that future would hold, but he
felt comforted knowing that there was a future. He just didn't
know where he would live, or where Rey would live, but they
could figure it out somehow. If she didn't mind, he definitely
wanted to live close to her. That was all he really wanted. He
didn't care what planet they settled on or who he had to deal
with. His life so far had been nothing but a waste and a
disaster. He wasn't going to mess up everything from here on
out, and he had her as a guide. She had offered to help him. She
had promised to help him. He didn't have to do all of this
alone, and he knew he'd have to spend the rest of his life
trying to repay her somehow. It probably wasn't possible to
fully repay her, but he'd do his best. One thing he could
certainly do to make her happy was to try and get along with her
friends somehow, but that was likely going to take quite a bit
of time. He wasn't exactly a trusted face to the Resistance, nor
did he exactly know how to engage in normal conversation or
socialization, but he could learn and do everything he could to
prove himself.
It didn't take long for the droid to help him finish cleaning,
draining the water, and drying him off before helping him back
into his pants. As much as he wanted to throw the things away,
he also didn't want to wear one of the ridiculous hospital gowns
they had nor did he want to be naked when Rey returned. The
medical droid got him back into the chair, his whole body aching
from all of the strain. He managed to catch a glimpse of himself
in the mirror before he was sat down, seeing that his facial
scar was, indeed, gone, and with his face and hair cleaned and
mostly dry, he looked more like himself again. More like Ben. It
was enough for him to have to fight back tears. He was rolled
back to his bed, being lied down gently before having some bacta
patches placed on his worst wounds and his IV increased,
probably due to Rey's request. He didn't fight it, actually
wanting his pain to be eased somewhat so he could be more
relaxed when she returned. The droid checked his vitals, wasting
its time on telling him just how bad of shape he was in when he
already knew and then wrapping him back up in bandages. He
already much preferred Rey looking after him, though he
certainly felt like more of a burden when she was doing so. The
droids were built for this kind of work. Once he was all
situated again, he waved the droid off, letting himself sink
into the mattress and relax once he was alone. He stared at the
ceiling, then the walls, then his IV, not having much else to do
but not really caring. His mind often had no problem occupying
itself, his thoughts still lingering on Rey. He wondered if she
was still tending to herself at this point or if she was off
doing something else. She could be speaking with her friends or
celebrating, as she should, in all honesty. He had made her wait
for him for nearly a whole cycle, so he could wait for her for
however long it took, though he did miss her. Things didn't seem
as bright without her around, he realized, but he had been aware
of that for quite some time. Nothing felt right without her
near, and he had been so, so stupid for denying her for so long,
for trusting Snoke and lies and his ridiculous thirst for power
over her and his own family, but especially Rey. She had never
betrayed him before. Not really. But, there was nothing that
could be done now. He had made his choices, and he, as well as
many others, including her, had suffered greatly for them. Now
that he thought about it, he'd more than likely have to spend
the rest of his life in hiding. Perhaps he couldn't be that
close to Rey after all...
As if on cue, his door opened, and Rey returned. She was wearing
a new outfit, which wasn't surprising, but part of it was a
lovely, dark shade of blue that he had never seen her in before.
He had only ever seen her in neutral colors. Her hair was also
down, he noticed. Completely down, her long, damp, brown tresses
falling down in almost messy waves, perfectly framing her face.
She looked goregeous, and he swore that his heart skipped a beat
when he first saw her again. She asked how he was feeling,
carrying a tray of food that smelled absolutely delicious and a
bit familiar, but he couldn't place what it was. "Fine," he
answered with a smile, happy to see her again. "Thank you," he
added, making an effort to show as much gratitude as he could
since that is what he wanted to do. "And you?" he asked, both
genuinely curious and also trying his best to be polite. She
rolled a table over to him, positioning it in front of him
before announcing that she had brought him dinner, revealing
that it was soup and bread and saying that she figured it
probably wasn't what he was used to, but that it beat ration
packs. He certainly couldn't argue with her there, but he had no
complaints about the soup. She set it down before him, and he
couldn't help the smile that overcame him again as he noticed
that it was Aurebesh soup. "I haven't had a meal like this in
ages..." he said quietly, knowing that the last time he had had
this particular soup had been when he was a child, still living
with his parents. The First Order had fed him quite lavish
meals, but as he stared at the soup, he found himself to be more
hungry than he had been in a very, very long time. He believed
that he preferred simpler meals such as this. Perhaps it was the
nostalgia of it all. "Thank you," he said to her again for the
umpteenth time that day, looking up at her and smiling softly.
He felt emotional again, and he almost felt ridiculous about it.
It was just soup, after all. She filled a glass of water for him
and staring at it made his lips feel dry, realizing that he was
extremely parched after the day's events. She asked him if the
medical droid had increased his medicine as she had asked, and
he nodded, taking the glass of water from the table. "They did,"
he told her, taking a few sips of the water, very self-conscious
of himself in front of her and not wanting to gulp the whole
thing down. She took a seat next to him once again, and he
watched her perk up as she added that she had brought him a
change of clothes, adding that she had fixed the holes in his
sweater but that it was in the wash. He sat down his water,
gazing at her in awe. She had sewn his sweater for him? He had
honestly thought about throwing the thing away since it had once
been a part of his Kylo Ren uniform, but now... now he couldn't.
Now it actually meant something to him. Something good. She had
actually taken the time to repair it... "That wasn't necessary,"
he told her but quickly thought that he might be coming off as
ungrateful, panicking slightly. "But thank you," he added
quickly. "I-" he stammered, still incredibly caught off-guard by
just how much she seemed to truly care for him. He couldn't wrap
his head around it. It didn't make any sense. He had been a
moster and yet she was so kind. "You've already done so much for
me in such a short amount of time," he pointed out quietly,
looking back at his soup, watching the steam rise off of it. "I
don't know how I can ever repay you for all of this," he told
her softly, glancing back at her.[/center]
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rey [xvi]
By: winterssmary Date: January 24, 2021, 11:20 pm
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Rey wasn't gone for very long and she made sure of that. She
didn't want Ben to have to be alone for too long. She knew that
it wasn't exactly happy and it had to be much worse for Ben, who
was still so confused and lost in a new place. He needed some
source of comfort and Rey hoped that she could give that to him.
She wasn't sure that she could, sure that he was genuinely happy
with her around and got anything from her more than discomfort.
Maybe he wanted to be alone, she supposed, but that didn't seem
to be the case, given how he spoke to her when she left. He
actually seemed rather anxious to see her again, which was
reassuring. Oddly enough, it was nice to know that he wanted her
attention, that he wanted her around just as much as she wanted
him around. Maybe it was because it was all new and, after a few
weeks of getting used to Ben's presence, it won't matter as
much. But something told her that wasn't the case. Ben was
special. Their bond was special, even if she didn't fully
understand it. She was sure that she'd never completely
understand what it meant to be a dyad in the Force, but she was
happy about it. It meant that she was a part of something, that
she had been since birth. She'd been permanently linked to a
person, destinies intertwined. She never had to be alone again,
just as he told her when she contacted him in the hut on
Ahch-To. But, in order for this to succeed and the two of them
to have some sort of life together -- whatever kind of life that
may be -- he had to be healthy. With the droids tending to him
and the Force on his side, she was confident that he would heal
rather quickly, but she had a lot of damage to repair aside from
just his bodily harm. She didn't really know Ben, not in a way
that meant she could predict his behavior. She didn't know how
his mind would be affected by all the new changes. She didn't
know what he needed from her or what she could give him. But she
did know that he had to be hungry. There was no way he'd eaten
today at least. By the looks of it, he hadn't eaten a solid meal
in a while, nor had he slept soundly. She was quick to grab them
a couple of bowls of Aurebesh soup and slices of bread from the
cafeteria, carrying it up to him -- and past Finn -- on a tray.
She entered the room quickly, striding over to him and asking
how he was. He smiled again, which brought a grin to her face as
well. He assured her that he was fine, thanking her, and then
asking about her. "Much better after washing my hair," she
admitted, rolling a table over to him and setting his meal down.
She told him that it probably wasn't much -- knowing that he
came from wealth and that the First Order tended to at least
make sure their superiors ate well -- but that it was better
than rations, which she'd grown up eating. She supposed
everything tasted wonderful to her so long as it wasn't
dehydrated and bland, like every meal she ever had. She was also
just now beginning to accept that she could eat. A lot. Without
having to work for it or trade for it or fight for it. She could
eat however much she could stand, which wasn't much, apparently.
Her body wasn't accustomed to large amounts of food. she was
worried she might never look like a normal woman at this rate,
obviously malnourished. Ben was on the lanky side at the moment
too, but she expected that was from neglect, not from a life of
going without. His smile grew larger at the sight of the soup,
which genuinely made her happy to see, her expression softening
a bit at the sight. He truly did have a beautiful smile. It
reminded her of Han's. Leia's. Even Luke's. She could see all of
them in Ben at that moment. "They serve it a lot here. A lot of
the soldiers are sick of it, but I think it's delightful," she
admitted. He thanked her, again, and she nodded. She sat down a
glass of water for him before taking a seat herself, eyeing him
as he took a sip from his glass. She didn't mean to stare. She
just wanted to make sure that he actually ate and actually
drank. He needed it. She asked about his pain medication and he
confirmed that she droids increased his dosage, which she was
grateful for. "Good. Let me know if you need more. I know you're
bound to be sore after we have to move you around so much," she
said. Her eyes got big as she was reminded of his clothes,
telling him that she brought him a change and was washing his
sweater after she'd repaired the hole. He stammered a bit, which
she wasn't expecting, before saying that it wasn't necessary.
She quirked a brow. He corrected himself immediately, thanking
her instead. "Of course. It was no trouble." She grabbed her
spoon and dug into her soup, starting to shovel it into her
mouth embarrassingly quick, desperate for something on her
stomach. It was hot, but she didn't care, letting it burn her
throat as she drank it up. She couldn't be too ravenous with
soup, so she took a bite of bread, taking a large chunk out of
the piece before immediately washing it down with, you guessed
it, more soup. Ben said that she'd done so much for him in such
a short amount of time, adding that he didn't know how to repay
her. She shook her head, humming with her mouth full. All at
once, she swallowed what was in her mouth, even though it hurt a
little bit going down. "You don't have to repay me at all. Just
get better," she said before gesturing toward his food. "Dig in.
The soup's not as good cold," she said. [/center]
#Post#: 1279--------------------------------------------------
[16] BEN
By: Zellaphone Date: January 25, 2021, 12:43 am
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[size=9pt]He had no clue when Rey would be back, but she had
promised him that it would be soon and he trusted her. There was
no reason that she would lie to him about such a thing. If she
didn't want to see him, then all she had to do was say, but it
genuinely did seem like she enjoyed having him around. It was
awkward, yes, and at times rather uncomfortable, but they had
promised each other yet again that they wouldn't have to be
alone anymore. It was the same promise they had made when she
had been on Ahch-To after being vulnerable with him, revealing
to him just how deeply her loneliness lied. He had meant what he
said then, and he certainly meant it now. Now he could hold even
truer to that promise. He could really be there for her unlike
how he had been there for her before. He had no idea what the
future held or where he would even end up, but he knew that if
Rey ever needed him, he'd come running. He always would, and, if
anything, they always had their unbreakable bond. He would need
to figure out his living arrangements soon, he figured, or at
least, some temporary ones. He most certainly would have to stay
somewhere safe and secluded where the Resistance wouldn't know
where he was at. If his mother was still around, he'd have no
issue staying wherever he wanted, he was sure, but... that
wasn't an option. It had been just a few hours ago, but he had
waited until it was too late to come back to the light. He
couldn't go back home now... but he couldn't think about that
right now. He couldn't think about his mother at all, as hard as
that was. He had to try and keep himself together for Rey's
sake, knowing that it would be too much for her right now to
have to deal with all of his problems. It wasn't fair on her. He
could deal with everything later, and he could deal with it
himself, just as he had to do with his father and with Luke.
However, he hadn't exactly dealt with their deaths in the best
ways.
He was thankfully pulled from his thoughts by the door sliding
open, and he knew it was Rey before she came into view. He
straightened himself up a bit at the sight of her, ignoring the
ache that came from doing so, but remained mostly relaxed. He
supposed he had the medicine to thank for that. She looked
unlike she ever had before him, her clothes containing colors
other than those that were neutral, her hair unstyled and damp,
falling in waves down past her shoulders. It was much longer
than the last time he had seen it down, and he realized that he
liked it. He liked it very much. Having her hair down suit her.
She looked stunning, and whatever food she brought smelled
delicious. He smiled at her, glad to see that she really had
come back. She asked how he was, grinning back at him, and he
told her that he was fine, still getting used to someone
actually caring how he was doing. He thanked her, reversing the
question back onto her, doing his best to have a normal
conversation with her. She told him that she felt much better
after washing her hair, rolling a table over to him. He nodded,
hesitating for a moment. "It looks nice," he confessed, being
careful, but thinking that it wouldn't be too much to pay her
this one compliment. "I haven't seen it down like this before,"
he mentioned, trying to sound casual. She set some food down
before him onto the table, announcing that she had brought him
some dinner, saying that it was soup and bread. She added that
she knew it wasn't much, but it beat rations, which is surely
what she had been eating for most of her life. Her body was too
small to have been receiving all the right nutrients. However,
he didn't mind her size necessarily, he just hated that she had
been malnourished. He looked down at his soup, unable to hold
back his fond smile at the sight of it. It was Aurebesh soup,
just like he had been fed as a child at times. Now it made sense
why it had smelled so familiar. He confessed to her that he
hadn't had a meal like this in ages, but he hoped that she could
tell by his expression that he meant that in a good way. While
he had been fed very, very well while serving the First Order,
he couldn't help but prefer the simpler dishes he remembered
from growing up. He could never erase the nostalgia that they
brought him. She said that they served the soup a lot at the
base, explaining that the soldiers were tired of it, but she
thought it was delightful. He chuckled quietly, amused by her.
He thanked her again, accepting the glass of water she poured
for him and immediately taking a sip, feeling parched after the
events of the day. He took another, larger sip while Rey asked
if the droid had increased his medicine. He nodded, confirming
that they had, and he was grateful for it. Being moved around so
much had certainly not been very easy on him, and he could still
feel a lingering ache from it all. She asked him to let her know
if he needed more, saying that she knew he was bound to be sore
after being moved so much. He nodded again. "I'm fine for now,"
he assured her.
Rey sat back down in the chair beside his bed, and he began to
get ready to eat his soup, feeling hungry for the first time in
a while before he saw her light up. She announced that she had
brought him a change of clothes, which he had not been
expecting, but was truly grateful for. His pants were filthy and
he was sure that she would prefer not to have to look at his
bare chest and disgusting bruises. She added that she had sewn
his sweater and that it was in the wash, and that really
surprised him. That was something she definitely didn't have to
do, and yet... she had. He was determined to keep it now, not
caring if he had worn it as Kylo Ren, deeply touched by her
actions. He told her that what she had done hadn't been
necessary, and she raised a brow, helping him to realize that he
had sounded a bit rude just then, quickly correcting himself and
thanking her. She brushed off his thanks, just as she had every
other time, saying that it had been no trouble before digging
into her food. He was temporarily distracted by that, watching
as she quickly shoveled the soup into her mouth as if it was
going to be taken from her at any moment. He almost told her to
slow down, knowing that it was bound to be hot, but he stopped
himself, watching her take a large bite out of her bread. While
he wouldn't deny that he was highly amused by the way that she
ate and may even have possibly found it cute, it dawned on him
that she probably ate with such ferocity from going her whole
life with having next to nothing at all. It was a sad reality,
but she certainly didn't seem to be bothered now. The Resistance
was taking care of her... and now she was taking care of him. He
stammered for a moment. There was just so much he wanted to say
to her, but he had to pick and choose. He mentioned that she had
already done so much for him, staring at his soup, trying to
make sense of it all. He knew that she cared for him, but why?
He had been hardly anything but awful to her the entire time he
had known her. Why was she treating him with such kindness
despite it all? He looked back to her, saying that he didn't
know how he was to ever repay her for everything. She hummed,
her mouth stuffed with food, which he likely would have chuckled
at if he weren't being so sincere at the moment. She swallowed,
telling him that he didn't have to repay her at all and that she
just wanted him to get better. Once again, she was acting as if
her actions were nothing, and he couldn't make sense of any of
it. She gestured to his soup before he could say anything that
he might regret, telling him to dig in and warning him that the
soup wasn't as good cold. He did chuckle lightly at that. "You
certainly enjoy food," he blurted out as he continued to watch
her. His eyes widened. Rude. That was rude. Dammit, he had been
trying to avoid saying anything he would regret. Why was
carrying on a conversation so difficult? "Not that that's a an
issue," he quickly backtracked. "It's entirely natural,
especially for someone of your... background." Kriff, was that
offensive? He certainly hoped not. He wasn't trying to offend
her. Panicking only slightly, he grabbed the bread she had
brought him, holding it out to her. "Here," he said, offering it
to her, doing his best to ignore the heat he felt in his face
again, embarrassed by himself.[/center]
#Post#: 1281--------------------------------------------------
rey [xvii]
By: winterssmary Date: January 25, 2021, 2:39 am
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She didn't put much effort into her appearance before she ran
back to the hospital. She just got comfortable, throwing on a
grey shirt and pants with a dark blue long duster cardigan, just
to keep her warm. And because she liked wearing colors, even if
she didn't when she was on missions or when she was legitimately
thrown in the heat of battle. She needed to keep her colorful
stuff -- as few colors that she owned, that is -- as clean and
untarnished as possible. She needed more clothes to begin with,
the more she thought about it. The war was over and she didn't
need to be a hero any longer. She could be comfortable now.
After she found a way to make money, of course. She took her
hair out of the buns when she was in the shower, wanting to wash
it and not really caring to throw it back into it's usual style.
It wasn't that she didn't like it, but that she felt like a new
chapter of her life was opening up. Why did she need to keep
looking like the same little girl who was left behind on Jakku
all of those years ago? Besides, it was starting to tug at her
scalp in all the wrong ways. She thought nothing of it, walking
into Ben's room with his dinner, greeting him and asking how he
was. Ben answered that he was fine, immediately turning the
question back onto her. She felt better after her hair was
clean, nice to know that sweat wasn't sticking to her scalp
anymore and the dust from Exegol was no longer on her skin. He
then casually said that her hair looked nice. She couldn't help
the light blush on her cheeks and she ducked her head to try and
hide it. "Oh, thank you," she said. He said he hadn't seen it
down like that before. If he liked it so much, she'd have to
wear it like this more often. "Right. Well, I don't know if
you've ever put your hair up or anything, but it pulls on your
scalp after a while and starts to give you a real headache.
Plus, it's not comfortable to sleep in. I prefer having my hair
down. But, you know, it gets in the way during battle," she
said, trying to rationalize it. I'm definitely not embarrassed
that you think I look nice and I'm definitely not going to keep
doing this because you like it. After some more chatter, mostly
about his pain medication and the soup she'd brought him, before
asking him to tell her if he needed to increase his dosage
again. She didn't want him in pain. Again, he insisted that he
was fine.
She sat down in the chair beside his bed, where she would likely
be sleeping tonight and for the next few nights if something
didn't go according to plan. She was about to dig into her meal,
her stomach rumbling, but she remembered the clothes. She told
Ben that she brought him a change of clothes, ones that she
didn't know would fit, and added that she fixed his sweater, but
it was in the wash. Ben said it wasn't necessary, which was a
little jarring to hear. Was he trying to be rude or just bad at
talking? She would excuse it, since he was on a lot of pain
medicine anyway. But he thanked her regardless and she brushed
it off. It wasn't a big deal. Helping him felt natural, normal.
She didn't think anything of it because it was just what you
were supposed to do. When you care about someone, you take care
of them. You do things for them. You help them. She cared about
Ben and he needed all the help he could get. She dug into her
meal, slurping down her soup, even though it burned on the way
down, and biting into the bread she had. It was all delicious,
she thought, still adjusting to the fact that things had flavor.
She wasn't used to it. She wasn't sure she'd ever be used to it.
Just like she wasn't sure if she'd ever be used to these
portions. The amount of calories in the soup and bread alone
were about the same that she'd have in an entire week on Jakku.
How did people live like this all their lives? Or, more
precisely, how did Rey go so long without all of this? Ben
casually mentioned how she'd done so much for him in such a
short amount of time, something she didn't think much of, before
saying he didn't know how to repay her. She hummed, shaking her
head. She would have spoken, but her mouth was full. She was
never taught table manners, but she wasn't about to spit soup on
him while he was shirtless in a hospital bed. She swallowed
thickly, trying to hide how much it hurt to swallow everything
at once. She assured him that he didn't need to repay her. She
just wanted him to heal. She then told him to eat, saying that
the soup wasn't as good when it got cold, which was true. She'd
had it. He chuckled again and she grinned at him, taking another
spoonful of soup into her mouth. He then said that she certainly
liked food, which caused her to look up at him, quirking a brow.
"Doesn't everyone?" He then elaborated that it made sense and
wasn't an issue, particularly given her background. She
stiffened at that, averting eye contact immediately. Oh. "A
scavenger, you mean," she said flatly. Was that still all she
was to him. It's what he always told her. Until he said she was
nothing. But not to him. Part of her wondered if that was true,
if her worth and value was somehow tied to him. She supposed it
was. They were a dyad in the Force, after all. Everything that
made her important and special came from him. On her own, she
was just a scavenger. Poor. Lowly. Miserable. Starving. "It's
okay. You're right," she said, noting that he was panicking a
little bit. He didn't mean it in a bad way, did he? "This one
meal is more than I would have had in a week on Jakku. And I was
one of the lucky ones. I'd rather not talk about that now, if
it's all the same to you," she said, trying to be polite. He
couldn't have meant any harm, not after he was being so kind to
her since Exegol. He's just used to being the bad guy. He
doesn't know how to be nice in normal conversation, she
rationalized. Or, at least, tried to. But she couldn't deny the
slight sting she still felt as she tried to fight off some of
her memories. She remembered what starvation felt like, her
stomach gurgling at the memory. It was interrupted when Ben
spoke again, holding out his bread to her. "Oh no, I couldn't. I
brought that for you. And you're certainly more hungry than I
am," she said. "You need to keep your strength up more than I
do, but I appreciate the offer," she said with a smile.
[/center]
#Post#: 1283--------------------------------------------------
[17] BEN
By: Zellaphone Date: January 25, 2021, 3:09 pm
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[size=9pt]About an hour passed before Rey returned, and before
she did, the medical droid helped clean him, dress him, tend to
his wounds, and get him situated back in his bed. All of that
had only taken about half an hour, which had left him enough
time to think about everything and yet, not much at all. He
wasn't really allowing himself to think about too much. Rey had
kept saying later whenever he tried discussing something
meaningful, so he didn't want to be an emotional wreck when she
returned. He felt like this was a little too soon for later.
Still, his mind wandering, his thoughts lingering mostly on her,
still confused by everything she was doing, but he supposed he
was mostly confused by her feelings. He knew that Rey was a
naturally kind-hearted person, but being so kind to him was a
different story. He also thought about what he might have to do
in terms of living arrangements now, certain that he'd have to
live in hiding. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to do so for the
rest of his life, but he wasn't sure. He wanted to atone for his
sins, but whether or not the Resistance would accept him was
another question. Rey walked back into the room, carrying a tray
of food that smelled delicious and nostalgic, wearing clothes
more colorful than what he had ever seen her in before, her hair
down and unkempt. She looked very... comfortable. Domestic,
even. Beautiful, as usual. She asked how he was, and he told her
that he was fine, feeling much better now that he wasn't being
moved around so much and his medicine had been increased. He
asked her how she was, and she replied that she felt much better
now that her hair was washed. He nodded, watching roll a table
over to him as he hesitated before complimenting her, telling
her that her hair looked nice. He was trying to come off as
nonchalant, just to not make anything awkward, but she wanted to
say much, much more as he saw her blush before ducking her head.
She thanked him, and he said that he had never seen her hair
down like it was now. She rambled a bit, talking about how
putting her hair up gave her a headache after a while and that
it wasn't comfortable to sleep in. She confessed that she
preferred it down, which he would have never guessed, but then
she added that having it down made it get in the way during
battle. He nodded, feeling as though he should say something to
keep the conversation going somewhat. They hadn't exactly had
many opportunities to talk about something normal. “I see. I
can’t recall ever putting my hair up myself, though it does
sometimes get in the way,” he admitted, keeping that fact that
he didn't put his hair up due to his ears to himself. She didn't
ever need to know about his ears.
She went on to ask about his medicine being increased, assuring
him that he could tell her if he'd like it increased again, but
he insisted he was fine. She also told him that she had brought
him dinner, announcing that it was soup and bread, which he was
actually looking forward to eating. He was very hungry after
everything that had happened that day, or really, that cycle,
and the soup she had brought was a kind he hadn't had since
childhood, suddenly longing to have it once more now. She sat
down beside him, and he was about to start eating before she
added that she had also brought him a change of clothes, as well
as fixed his sweater, but it was in the wash. He told her that
that hadn't been necessary, meaning to say something more along
of you didn't have to do that for me, but I'm grateful. He was
just terrible at communicating any of his feelings that weren't
rage. He hoped that would all change soon. He quickly thanked
her, and she shrugged it off, saying it had been no trouble. Her
kindness towards him was still beyond him. She dug into her
food, and Ben couldn't help but stare at the way she slurped
down large spoonfuls of soup and took larger than necessary
bites of bread. He had never seen anyone eat like her in all of
his life, not even his father who he would have never referred
to as civilized. However, he thought it was rather cute, trying
not to dwell too much on the fact that she probably ate the way
she didn't because she wasn't used to eating. He looked back at
his own soup, watching the steam rise from it as he mentioned
that she had already done so much for him in such a short amount
of time. Today alone she had saved him, fought by his side, took
him to safety, cleaned him, and now she was feeding him.
Meanwhile, he felt rather useless. He said that he didn't know
how she was ever going to repay her, but she hummed, swallowing
a large amount of food that had to be painful before insisting
that he didn't need to repay her for anything. But he did. She
told him once again to just focus on getting better, gesturing
towards his soup and telling him to dig in before it got cold.
Like an idiot, he blurted out that she certainly loved food,
wishing immediately that he was unconscious once again. She
quirked a brow, thinking that everyone enjoyed food, which they
did, he was sure, but he hadn't meant that exactly. He was just
being stupid. He explained that it wasn't an issue and that it
was natural to enjoy food, especially if you were someone of her
background. Once again, he instantly regretted his words. She
looked away from him, and he quietly began to panic, knowing
that he had just said something awful without meaning to.
Wasting no time, she pointed out that he meant her being a
scavenger, her voice flat. He opened his mouth to speak, but
nothing came out right away, doubting himself. Yes, he had meant
that, technically, but not in an offensive way. He didn't care
that she had been a scavenger. Well, he did, but that was only
because it meant that she had lived an unfair life, but he
didn't her background made her any less of a person. She told
him that it was okay and that he was right, telling him that
this one meal was more than she would have had in a week on
Jakku, and that she had been lucky. He couldn't even begin to
imagine what that was like. While his life hadn't exactly been
ideal, at least he was usually fed pretty well. Better than
most, he figured, for the majority of his life. She added that
she'd rather not talk about her upbringing if it was all the
same to him, and he nodded. "Of course. We don't have to talk
about it at all. It's unimportant now, after all," he said. She
was being fed and taken care of now and that was all that
mattered. "I don't think less of you for anything," he added,
wanting her to know that, trying to say at least one thing
right. “I’m sorry. I feel as though I’m saying all the wrong
things. I really didn’t mean it as an offense," he assured her,
taking his slice of bread and offering it to her right after her
stomach gurgled. He wasn't sure if he was doing it for some kind
of silly peace offering or if it was just because he knew that
it meant more to her, which also sounded a little silly, but he
knew it was true. She refused it, explaining that she had
brought the bread for him, thinking that he had to be more
hungry than she was. He honestly wasn't entirely sure about
that. She went on to say that he needed to keep her strength up
more than her, but that she appreciated his offer. "I'm fine,"
he promised, keeping the bread outstretched towards her. "Just
take it," he insisted.[/center]
#Post#: 1285--------------------------------------------------
rey [xviii]
By: winterssmary Date: January 26, 2021, 2:51 am
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She entered the room, holding out Ben's food on a tray that
she'd taken from the cafeteria. It felt odd to be here, yet,
somehow, perfectly natural. It didn't make much sense to her in
the slightest. She knew for a fact that she and Ben were on
rocky terms. They had to be. It was confusing, but that was the
very nature of their relationship at the moment. Yet, she didn't
feel like she was intruding when she entered the room. She
didn't feel like she was somewhere that she wasn't supposed to
be. She felt like she belonged here, not in the med bay, but by
Ben's side. She rolled a table over, arranging everything so
that he had a place to set his meal. They made small talk,
discussing how they felt after getting cleaned up, patched up.
Of course, Rey didn't have bacta patches on her like Ben did,
but her wounds were clean and she put small bandages over the
few injuries that warranted them. She expressed that she felt
much better now that her hair was clean. That was something
she'd noticed since letting her hair grow out after leaving
Jakku. She felt much better when it was freshly washed and it
got dirtier easier. He complimented her, causing her to blush
and she quickly looked away to hide it. He added that he'd never
seen her hair down before, and he apparently liked it. She liked
it too, but especially if Ben liked it. She tried to act casual,
just rambling about how it was more comfortable this way but
that she had to wear her hair up for battle. She shouldn't have
talked so much, really. She just got a little flustered. He
nodded, adding that he never wore his hair up, but it often got
in the way. "I would imagine. And your hair is so thick. It must
get annoying from time to time," she said, not entirely sure why
she was still talking. She should just let the conversation die
naturally and move on, right?
So she tried that, immediately talking about his medicine,
pleased to know that the droids had increased Ben's dosage to
accommodate his soreness. She didn't want him in pain if he
didn't have to be. She insisted that he speak up if he needed
more, but he assured her that everything was fine. She
remembered, after sitting down to enjoy her meal, to tell him
that she brought him new clothes and repaired his sweater, which
was now being washed. He told her that was unnecessary, but
corrected himself, thanking her. She was blaming all of this on
the fact that he was an angry Supreme Leader for the past cycle
and didn't have the luxury of interacting with people normally
until an hour ago. She tried to shrug off all that she did,
turning to her meal and finally getting started on the soup. She
was downing the whole bowl pretty quickly, she knew, but that
was just generally how she ate. She felt Ben's eyes on her as
she feasted herself on the Aurebesh soup and bread, but tried
not to think much of it. Maybe she should slow down. She was
acting like an animal rather than a human girl. He spoke though,
saying that she'd done a lot for him, that he didn't know how to
repay her. She shook her head, humming, mouth too full to
actually speak yet. She swallowed everything at once, making a
face at how it hurt before answering him, assuring him that he
owed her nothing, that she just wanted him to get better. She
then said to start eating before he soup got cold. Offhandedly,
he said that she certainly loved food. Oh, so he did see her as
an animal. Perhaps she really should slow down. She quirked a
brow, asking if everyone liked food. He then said that it made
sense, given her background, which caused her to tense up. She
looked away, clarifying that he was talking about her being a
scavenger. She added that it was alright, that he was right. She
explained that this meal was more than what she'd have in a full
week on Jakku, adding that she was one of the lucky ones.
Quickly, she said that she'd rather not talk about it. He
nodded, granting her that, which was a relief. He added that he
didn't think less of her, which was nice to hear. He then
apologized, assuring her that he didn't mean to offend her, he
was just saying the wrong things. She shook her head. "It's
alright, Ben. You're one a lot of painkillers," she said, trying
to excuse it for him. Even if he wasn't on so much medicine,
she'd excuse it. She'd always excuse him, she'd soon learn. Her
stomach grumbled and he offered her a slice of bread that she
rejected. He needed the calories more than her. Besides, she got
it for him. He couldn't do with just the soup, could he? But he
seemed pretty insistent and she didn't have the energy to fight
him anymore after today. Reluctantly, she nodded. "Thank you. I
appreciate it. I'll repay you somehow," she said, taking the
slice from him and biting into it. After chewing for a few
moments, she decided to address an awkward but important topic.
"So, I was thinking, after you've recovered, you'll need a place
to stay. Well, both of us need a place to stay. I don't exactly
have a home and I'm not going back to Jakku," she said. "I don't
know where the Resistance will settle as a new capital, but I'm
sure they'll want me close by once they make a decision. Once
that happens, I can look for a place with a second bedroom and
you can... if you want to, I mean... but... um... you could,
maybe stay with me?" she said, a question more than a statement.
"Of course, until then, we'd be on the Falcon. Unless you were
planning on leaving."[/center]
#Post#: 1287--------------------------------------------------
[18] BEN
By: Zellaphone Date: January 26, 2021, 9:00 pm
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[size=9pt]Ben was relieved when Rey returned, happy to actually
be able to see her again and talk to her and know that she was
alright, though he hadn't doubted her return for a second. Well,
perhaps he had for a few moments, but he was glad to see that he
had been wrong. She was wearing a different outfit now,
completely cleaned off not unlike himself, her hair damp and
loose and falling below her shoulders. It was longer than he had
remembered it being, but he liked it. He liked everything about
her appearance. He loved her, and he wished he could stop being
reminded of that. All it did was make him panic more than
necessary when being around her, afraid that he'd say or do the
wrong things and scare her away. She approached him with a tray
of food, rolling a table over to him as she asked how he was. He
told her he was fine, thinking that he could never feel as bad
as he had this past cycle ever again. It seemed so impossible
now, being reminded of how it felt to feel safe and cared for.
He reversed the question onto her, and she said that she felt
much better as well, making a comment about her hair being clean
attributed to that. Hesitating for a moment, he complimented
her, doing his best to sound casual about it to not overwhelm
her in any way. She definitely didn't seem to mind it, blushing
and looking away from him momentarily before rambling slightly
about how her hair was more comfortable down, but wearing it up
made battling easier. He nodded, saying that he didn't really
wear his hair up at all, but having it down did tend to get in
his way. He somewhat expected the conversation to end there, but
Rey went on, pointing out how thick his hair was, agreeing that
it must get annoying from time to time. He nodded again,
wracking his brain for something else to say on the matter but
coming up blank. He wasn't used to talking to someone like this.
It had been many years since he had had a normal conversation
about nothing with someone, and now he feared he was just being
awkward.
They talked briefly about his medicine before Rey told him what
she had brought him for dinner. It was Aurebesh soup. A favorite
of his as a child. Seeing it again made him feel warm with
nostalgia, ready to dig in before she added that she had also
brought him a change of clothes as well as repaired his sweater.
He hadn't expected any of this. Not the food, the clothes, and
certainly not for her to put the time into sewing up the sweater
he had been wearing. He told her none of it had been necessary,
not really thinking before he spoke, realizing that might have
sounded rude before quickly throwing in a thanks. She brushed it
off, which seemed to be a pattern of hers. She simply didn't
understand what an impact her actions had on him, and how could
she? He wasn't exactly being extremely open to her for very
valid reasons. She started to eat her own dinner, shoveling hot
soup down her throat and slurping it up, taking large bites out
of her breath. He didn't think he had ever seen anyone eat so
enthusiastically before as if they had a time limit before the
food would vanish. He couldn't help but stare, surprised, but
also thinking it was a bit cute. After staring for a few
seconds, he looked to his own soup, gazing at it as he quietly
mentioned how much Rey had done for him already in such a short
amount of time, adding that he wasn't sure how he could ever
repay her. Again, she shrugged off her own kindness, thinking
nothing of it, telling him once again to just get better. He
couldn't make sense of it. How could she be so nice to him? Why
did she care about him? What had he possibly done to ever make
her seem to care so much? He would understand her feeling
grateful for him coming to her aid for the fight against
Palpatine, but what good had he done for her besides that? He
had killed Snoke for her, yes, but that had been for his own
selfish reasons as well, though he doubted he would have been
able to go through with it without Snoke hurting her and
angering him unlike ever before. He had also given her some
assurance after she had told him how lonely she was while she
was on Ahch-To, but really, did that warrant all of this
compassion? He didn't think so. She told him to start eating his
food before it got cold, and then, like an idiot, he pointed out
that she obviously loved food. Quickly realizing that he had
said something a bit rude without meaning for it to be, he tried
to cover his tracks, but only proceeded to make everything
worse. She quirked her brow, asking if everyone loved food, and
he hurriedly assured her that it was natural for her to enjoy
food like she does considering that she had grown up being a
starving scavenger. Of course, he didn't say starving scavenger
aloud, but he did mention her background, causing him to just
dig himself into an even deeper hole. She looked away from him,
clarifying that he was talking about her being a scavenger, and
he began to panic even more, knowing that he was only messing
all of this up more and more. This was why he shouldn't be
allowed to speak. They should have made sure that he stayed
unconscious. He opened his mouth, but Rey thankfully stopped
him, saying that it was okay and that he was right, explaining
that what she was eating now was more than she'd get within a
week on Jakku, and that she had been lucky. He was so, so
stupid. He should have never said anything at all. She added
that she'd rather not discuss it, checking if that was alright
with him. He confirmed that it was, saying that they didn't have
to talk about her past at all and that it was unimportant now.
He said that he didn't think any less of her because she had
been a scavenger, apologizing for what he had said and
explaining that he hadn't meant to offend her. She forgave him
right away, excusing him by saying that he was on a lot of
painkillers. He shook his head. No, he was definitely aware of
what he was saying and she should not be that quick to forgive
him. It didn't make sense. “No, no, that’s not it. I’m just… not
used to this. Conversing normally with someone," he explained
for himself, knowing that had to be the real reason he was
messing everything up so badly.
Rey's stomach grumbled loud enough then to where even he could
hear it, and without much thought, he grabbed his slice of
bread, offering it to her. She refused it, reminding him that
she had brought it for him, insisting that he needed it more
than her to keep his strength up, but that was a bit silly. It
wasn't that much for him. It was just a slice of bread, but
clearly, it meant more to her, and he thought that she could
actually use it more than he could. He insisted that she take
it, and after a moment, she nodded, accepting it from him. She
thanked him, adding that she appreciated it and how repay him
somehow for it. That was also absolutely ridiculous. "It's just
bread to me, Rey. You don't have to do anything for it," he
assured her quietly. She bit into the bread, and he smiled a bit
to himself, finally picking up his spoon and dunking it into the
soup she had brought him. He carefully blew on it before taking
a bite. It was blander than the food he was used to, but he
couldn't help but think that it was the best thing he had put in
his mouth for many cycles, delighting in how warm it was and how
it reminded him of the soup his mother would make on the rare
occasions when she cooked for him. He took another bite,
repeating his process of blowing on it first, eating much slower
than Rey was, but very much enjoying himself, to his relief and
surprise. Rey spoke up again after a moment, and he stopped
eating, politely giving her his full attention as she made it
clear that she had something important on her mind. She
explained that she knew that once he recovered, he'd need a
place to stay. He nodded, his thoughts from earlier on the
matter returning to him. She went on to say that they'd both
need somewhere to live, which made sense. She had been traveling
with the Resistance this whole time or staying with Luke, so of
course, she didn't really have an actual home. Well, unless she
considered Jakku to still be her home, which he hoped she
didn't. She relieved him of his suspicions with her next
statement, confirming that she didn't have a home and would not
be returning to Jakku. She admitted that she didn't know where
the Resistance would end up settling, but she was sure they'd
want her nearby. He nodded once again. Having continuous Jedi
support would certainly be helpful for them. She said that once
that happens, she could look for a place with two bedrooms,
stammering and hesitating before suggesting that he stay with
her. As in, in the same house. Together. His eyes widened, and
he let go of his spoon as she continued, saying they'd be on the
Falcon until then, making all of this feel even more surreal,
unless he was planning on leaving. Slowly, he shook his head,
gazing at Rey in surprise. He didn't think that she would
actually suggest that they live together, nor did he ever think
that he would have the option of living on the Falcon again for
a while. It was all... honestly a bit overwhelming, but he knew
he needed to give her an answer quickly so that she wouldn't
think he was put off by her suggestions. "I wasn't planning on
leaving," he assured her, his heart beating quickly again. He
needed to relax or else he was going to say something he'd
regret, but he was so happy from this. Rey actually wanted to
stay with him. In separate rooms, but he didn't care about that.
He'd be with her however he could. “And I want to stay by you
however I can, especially if that is what you want, but…" He
drifted off. He had to think about this realistically. As much
as he wanted what Rey was suggesting, he wasn't sure if he could
have it. He wasn't sure if it was the best idea for either of
them, as much as it killed him to admit. "I don’t believe I can
live anywhere that’s public exactly. It wouldn’t be safe, and I
can’t ask you to hide away somewhere with me and endanger
yourself as well,” he explained, looking away from her and back
down at his soup. This hurt. He was having to deny himself
exactly what he wanted, but he couldn't be selfish. He was done
with that. Done with putting himself first. She needed to come
first now. It was what he wanted. “In fact… it might be best if
you pretend to have no ties at all with me after I am healed. At
least for a while," he suggested quietly, grabbing his spoon
again and slowly stirring his soup once. [/center]
#Post#: 1289--------------------------------------------------
rey [xix]
By: winterssmary Date: January 27, 2021, 12:45 am
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Ben wasn't necessarily making a mess of things, but he was
definitely not acting as Rey wished he would. He was being a
little odd, stammering and struggling to speak clearly. She knew
that he was having trouble, knowing he wasn't stupid enough to
say insulting things to her while he was bed ridden and she was
caring for him. Even in his most stubborn moments as Kylo Ren,
she wouldn't have expected him to be so stupid as to comment on
he eating habits as if she was wrong, maybe getting fat. Though,
for a few moments, she wondered if he did think that way about
her. He'd called her a scavenger once, implying that she was
insignificant and useless when he captured her for the first
time. Then there was the time he called her nothing. That one
hurt worse, sure. But he wasn't saying anything like that, just
that she really liked food, which she did. Everyone did, right?
He added that it was to be expected, alluding to her background
as a starving scavenger without ever actually using the words.
But she clarified for him pretty quickly, knowing exactly what
he meant. He was right, of course. She was wolfing down her food
as if she'd never get another meal. She knew she was safe in the
Resistance, that she'd be fed in exchange for work and she'd be
fed better than she ever was on Jakku. But she never lost the
instinct to just devour everything in front of her and pray she
was able to keep eating. She was used to starving, using to
being in physical pain and seconds away from collapsing from
malnutrition. She couldn't count all the times she'd stumbled
upon a body while scavenging, knowing that her fallen comrade
starved to death. She mentioned that the food she was getting
now was more than she'd have in a week on her home planet, but
that she didn't wish to discuss it further. He was fine with
that. It was obvious that he didn't mean to bring it up at all,
just misspeaking and struggling to have a normal dialogue. She'd
excuse it, blaming the painkillers, but Ben insisted that it
wasn't the medicine. He just hadn't had a regular conversation
with anyone in a very long time. She nodded, giving him a soft
smile. "I know what you mean. I went through the same thing for
a while after going back to the Resistance after Crait," she
admitted.
Thinking about her past, remember how it felt to starve, her
stomach rumbled. She was sure even Ben could hear it. It was
probably by he suddenly held his bread out to her, offering it
to her. She rejected him at first, telling him that he needed
his strength more than she did. She was fine. She wasn't lying
down in the med bay with broken ribs and legs. She could still
walk on her own. But he insisted that she take it and she didn't
have the energy to fight him. Not on something that seemed so
trivial to him. Maybe he truly didn't see the value of food,
given how frequently he'd been able to get it all his life. He
was deprived in a lot of areas, she was sure, but he never
struggled to be fed, she assumed. Reluctantly, she took it from
him, biting into it and thanking him, promising to repay him
somehow. He assured her that it was just bread, that she owed
him nothing and she blinked in surprise. Even when fellow
Resistance soldiers handed her something -- whether it was an
extra blanket or a napkin in the cafeteria -- they usually
expected something in return. She'd never gotten something like
this for free. There had to be more to it. Everything was a
transaction. "Nonsense. I'll be sure you give you something of
mine," she insisted. She watched as Ben went to his meal, being
much more careful than her, much slower, more patient. More how
she saw Leia eat. And other, normal people. She felt more
embarrassed now, slowing down a bit. She briefly rambled about
housing arrangements, how she had no home and didn't know where
she'd be before she officially offered for him to stay with her,
wherever she ended up. She prayed he said yes and she didn't
just humiliate herself again. She added that they'd be on Falcon
in the meantime, unless he was planning on leaving once he'd
recovered, suddenly very unsure of herself. He said that he
didn't plan on leaving, which caused her to perk up a bit. He
added that he wanted to stay with her, especially since he
wanted that. She smiled, until he threw out the but. Her
expression fell immediately, heart sinking in her chest. So he
was leaving. She'd just gotten him back, really gotten him back,
and he was taking off the second he got the chance. Typical. She
was disappointed, already feeling abandoned again, but not
surprised. He said that he couldn't live anywhere public, that
she'd be in danger and he couldn't ask her to hide away. He
broke eye contact with her, looking back to his soup. She pursed
her lips, trying to keep herself from letting him know just how
deeply that hurt. But it only hurt worse when he said that she
should cut ties with him period once he'd healed. He didn't want
anything to do with her. But, just like she did with her
parents, she wasn't going to being abandoned without a fight.
"Ben, I'm not afraid of what people will think or how they'll
act. I've been fighting off people who want to hurt me my whole
life. You and I took down Palpatine together. I feel sorry for
the idiot that approaches us with bad intentions," she assured
him. She left out the part about how she didn't know who she was
without him. [/center]
#Post#: 1291--------------------------------------------------
[19] BEN
By: Zellaphone Date: January 27, 2021, 3:35 pm
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[size=9pt]He was ruining the nice moment they had been having
with his stupid mouth. He never failed to say at least one wrong
thing when talking to Rey, it seemed, and now he was commenting
on her eating habits and the fact that she had once been a
scavenger. It wasn't the first time he had referenced her
upbringing in front of her, unfortunately, but he certainly
hoped it would be the last. He was such an idiot. All of this
because he didn't want to say I think you look cute when you
eat. He was such a disaster when it came to talking with her, or
anyone, he supposed. He remembered back to the time on the
Supremecy when he had called her nothing, realizing not long
afterward that that wasn't how he should have worded what had
been on his mind. He had been trying to be reassuring, and he
called her nothing. Clearly, he shouldn't be allowed to speak.
He opened his mouth to try and apologize for what he had said,
but Rey beat him to it, saying that it was alright and that he
was right about her, that she had been a scavenger. She
mentioned that the food she was getting now from the Resistance
was more than she would have gotten a whole week on Jakku, which
was hard to hear. He knew that scavengers and slaves on desert
planets didn't typically survive very long depending on who
their owner was, and Rey saying that she had been considered
lucky made him doubt that the others she had been surrounded
with on Jakku had made it very long. He couldn't imagine what
that was like. Snoke had done many awful things to him, but he
had never starved him. He had been in some situations where food
had been scarce, yes, but he had never feared death from
starvation. He had been lucky in that regard. She said that she
didn't want to discuss her life as a scavenger any further, and
he was fine with that. Whatever she wanted. He should have never
mentioned it to begin with. However, he assured her that her
background didn't make him think any less of her, apologizing
for bringing any of it up in the first place. She excused him,
blaming the painkillers he was on for what he had said, but he
shook his head. It wasn't the medicine. He explained that he
just wasn't used to conversing normally with someone. She
nodded, giving him a bit of a smile and gave him some relief.
She assured him that she understood, saying that she had gone
through the same thing after she returned to the Resistance
after Crait. "I can't imagine your social skills ever being as
poor as mine," he admitted. "Everyone always seems so drawn to
you." I'm drawn to you.
They were interrupted by Rey's stomach gurgling, and he grabbed
his slice of bread without a second thought, offering it to her.
She refused it, and if she were anyone else, he wouldn't
understand what she acted like it was such a big deal. Food
didn't mean as much to him as it did to her. In fact, it was
likely that a lot of things meant more to her than him. Grass,
beds, people. He insisted that she take the bread, and she
didn't refuse him again, accepting it and thanking him for it
before saying that she would repay him somehow. He assured her
that it was just bread to him, telling her that she didn't have
to do anything for it. She blinked, seemingly surprised, and he
didn't think about how there was a possibility that she had
never heard that from someone before. She insisted that she'd
give him something of hers, but he shook his head, looking to
his soup. "There's no need," he assured her, finally digging
into his soup, being careful to not burn himself. He slowly
raised each spoonful to his mouth, blowing on it quietly before
eating. The soup was delicious, he thought, even if it was
blander than what he was used to, and he wasn't sure if that was
the nostalgia talking or the fact that he hadn't eaten very well
recently. After a few bites, Rey spoke up again and he gave her
his full attention, listening as she talked about living
arrangements, knowing that he and her both would need somewhere
to live. She stammered and hesitated a bit, but she ended up,
much to his shock, offering for him to live with her, adding
that they could stay on the Falcon together until they found
something better unless he was planning on leaving. He shook his
head, speechless for a very brief moment. He never thought that
she'd actually ever offer him something like this. It was
exactly what he had been hoping for, but now that he had the
option... he wasn't sure if it was what was best, much to his
disappointment. He was a war criminal, and, though she didn't
know it, he was in love with her, though he thought that he
could perhaps work around that. He assured her that he hadn't
planned on leaving, going on to say that he wanted to stay with
her, especially if that was something that she wanted. She
smiled so beautifully at that, making what else he had to say
hurt even more. He added a but, and Rey's smile completely left
her. He told her that he couldn't live anywhere that was public,
and she was planning on keeping near the Resistance. He said
that it wouldn't be safe for him to do so, telling her that he
couldn't ask her to hide away with him and endanger herself
because of him. It wouldn't be fair to her. He looked away from
her, unable to take in her look of disappointment any longer. He
told her that it would also be best if she at least pretended to
have no ties with him after he healed for a while, not wishing
for the Resistance to shun her in any way because of him. She
said his name, and he instinctively looked back at her,
listening as she declared to him that she wasn't afraid of what
people would think or how they would act if they stayed
together. She reminded him that she had been fighting people her
whole life, saying that they had both taken down Palpatine. She
added that she felt sorry for the idiot that tried to approach
them with bad intentions, and he almost smiled at that. Almost.
"Yes, but you'd be fighting off your friends. The Resistance.
The people you are supposed to be close with," he mentioned, but
he didn't want to fight this. He didn't want to refuse her,
especially if this was something that she truly, deeply wanted.
He pursed his lips, struggling with his inner conflict as he ran
a hand through his hair, taking a moment for himself. He glanced
at her hand, wanting so desperately to take it, touch-starved
and feeling unsure at the moment. "I don't want to be without
you," he spoke up again, softly. She already had to know that.
She had to, right? He had spent so long trying to be with her,
to convince her that they belonged together. Hopefully, she
didn’t think that he wanted to leave her, nor was he. Not
really. If they agreed to go with his suggestions, which seemed
very doubtful right now, he’d still see her whenever she wanted,
however he could. He would make it work. “I just fear that it
would be selfish of me to stay with you, and I… I’ve already
been selfish with you enough," he confessed. "But..." he added
once again, knowing that he'd never be able to truly refuse her
of anything that she desired. This was something that they both
wanted, and perhaps, just maybe, it would work out for them
both. He met her eyes again. "If that’s truly what you want,
then I will stay with you,” he told her, his lips twitching
upwards. "I'll gladly stay with you."[/center]
#Post#: 1293--------------------------------------------------
rey [xx]
By: winterssmary Date: January 27, 2021, 10:01 pm
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Ben's social skills were lacking. That much was obvious. She
knew that he definitely had some issues with dealing with
people. How could he not? He was raised by a psychotic dictator
and spent the last cycle barking orders while trying to murder
people. He just got his life back. He just got his identity
back. She could easily excuse what he said, particularly because
-- this time, at least -- it was obvious that he didn't have any
bad intentions. He didn't seem to want to hurt her feelings or
to bring up any trauma that she'd experienced. When he brought
up her past, he was just making a statement, an observation. He
wasn't thinking about how it would make her feel or what sorts
of memories it would bring back to the surface. He likely never
thought about what he said and how it would make other people
feel. That'd definitely be something that they needed to work
on. He apologized, promising that he didn't mean to offend her,
and she knew he was telling the truth, shrugging it off and
blaming the painkillers. She figured they had to be playing a
role. Probably. But he didn't think so, saying that he just
didn't know how to talk with people, that he wasn't used to it.
She nodded, understanding completely and explaining that she
went through a similar period when she came back from Crait.
That was when she officially joined the Resistance and started
living among their ranks. It was when she had to actually talk
to people about normal things, rather than always having the
next battle or task to focus on. Even then, she was relatively
solitary. She had Finn and Poe, but they spent more time
together, often leaving her to her training on her own. Ben said
that he couldn't imagine her social skills being as bad as his
and she laughed quietly. He added that everyone seemed drawn to
her. She shook her head. "I spent more time with BB-8 than I did
most people when I joined the Resistance," she admitted. "I was
training on my own while everyone else was out on missions. I
tried to socialize but I never was able to find my place among
them," she said.
Her stomach growled, thoughts still lingering on starvation and
what it felt like to go hungry and fear that she'd waste away in
the desert, and Ben seemed to absentmindedly hold out his bread
to her, asking her to take it. She was stunned by the offer.
People don't just give away food. What was he thinking? She
rejected him right away, telling him that he needed to keep his
strength up. He needed it more than her. Those were precious
calories that would help him heal better. But he wasn't having
it, insisting that she take it. She didn't have the energy to
fight him, so accepted his offer, thanking him and assuring that
she'd pay him back. He didn't seem to think that was necessary,
but she said that she'd do it anyway. It was shocking that
someone didn't expect something in return and she simply didn't
believe it. Everyone wants something in return. He added that
there was no need and she eyed him carefully, but let it drop.
She'd pay him back. Somehow. He turned to his meal, handling it
in a much more proper, elegant way than she did. It made her
reevaluate how she was eating her own food, slowing down a bit
and trying to be more careful with the utensils. After a
moment, she started stammering, trying to talk about living
situations. In the end, she finally got the words out, inviting
him to live with her. He seemed happy with the idea at first,
causing her to smile at him, but he quickly contradicted her
thinking, her smile falling and expression dropping. It was
obvious that she was disappointed, but she tried not to show it.
It stung to think that Ben wanted to leave her already. He
looked away from her, even going as far as to suggest that she
pretend to have nothing to do with him after everything was
done. Her heart broke at the statement. He really wanted her
gone. But she wasn't running without a fight. She assured him
that she didn't care what people thought, that she'd fought
people her whole life and the two of them took on Palpatine
together. She added that she felt sorry for the fool that
approached them looking for a fight. A ghost of a smile was on
his face, bit it wasn't prominent enough to make her feel
better. Ben said that, this time, she'd be fending off her
friends, the people she loved and was supposed to be close with.
Her shoulders slumped. "If they're my friends they won't ask me
to abandon someone I care about," she muttered. Softly, he said
that he didn't want to be without her, which she was beginning
to doubt. He said that he didn't want to be selfish with her,
that he'd been selfish enough with her. "It's not you being
selfish if I'm the one who wanted it," she assured him. "And I
do want it," she added. He finally met her eyes once more,
saying that he'd stay with her if it was what she wanted.
Gladly. She smiled at him, nodding. "That's what I want," she
repeated. "We can keep each other safe. And help each other
adjust. Neither of us is prepared for the new world," she
admitted. [/center]
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