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#Post#: 340--------------------------------------------------
[9] BEN┃FINN┃MILES┃KYA
By: Zellaphone Date: January 15, 2020, 3:18 am
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Ben hadn't failed to notice that Rey's display of affection
hadn't really changed since they had left the Temple, and he was
grateful for it. She held his hand, placing her other hand on
his arm and leaning her head against his bicep, helping him be
distracted from the stares they were receiving. He had known
that people would stare, and he knew they had reason to stare.
Rey was the Jedi who had brought peace to the galaxy once more,
and Ben was... once Kylo Ren. He couldn't blame them for
staring, but it was the whispering that bothered him. Ben tried
his best to keep his composure, but he did occasionally catch
himself glaring and had to stop himself. Glaring at people
wasn't going to help anything, and it definitely wasn't going to
stop their whispers. He just wished he knew what they were
saying, and while he knew he could listen, he didn't want to
risk losing his temper in any way. He just knew they couldn't be
informing each other about who they were because they already
knew, so he assumed whatever they were saying had to be
negative, and he hoped none of it was about Rey.
Ben looked down at Rey, smiling at her as she once again helped
him ignore the world around him. She looked beautiful, as
always, wearing what she had been back at the Temple, but now
with a shroud and beautiful, shiny sandals, hair falling
perfectly around her face. He wondered if she would like to wear
something more colorful, like a shawl of some sort. While he
loved her in whatever she wore, muted colors were typically more
for desert folk, which she was no longer. Of course, he didn't
have much room to speak, seeing as how he normally only wore
dark colors, usually consisting of black and greys. Perhaps he
was the one who should be wearing more colorful clothing, and
maybe it would help him appear more friendly. He didn't think
his hair was really helping him in any way, and he wondered if
it just made him look silly. Still, Rey seemed to like it, and
that was all that really mattered.
His eyes scanned the streets of Theed, taking in all the sights
and smells and not giving it much thought. Theed was just
another city to him, but he was thankful that his current
situation allowed him to explore more places more leisurely. He
hadn't been able to do such a thing since he was very young, and
he knew Rey had gotten to do it even less, so, despite the
stares and whispers, he was glad that he had come out with her.
He knew she had a certain love and appreciation for places like
this, and every time she glanced up at him, he made sure to have
a light smile on his face. He didn't want her thinking he wasn't
enjoying himself, because he was, in his own way. It was just
harder for him to ignore things, and it was still hard for him
to remember to smile sometimes. He just wasn't used to having
much to smile about.
Rey asked him what he was hungry for, calling him 'my love,'
which made Ben's smile more genuine, expression softening as he
looked back down at her, considering her question. He wanted
something with meat, if he was being honest, but they could
always get a variety of things. "Perhaps we can find some Shaak
keba-" Ben was interrupted by the sound of whirring, watching as
a familiar droid came rolling up to them, stopping in front of
Rey. Rey greeted the droid, and Ben's smile fell as he realized
whose droid it was, Rey letting go of his arm to straighten it's
antenna. The droid belonged to none other than Poe Dameron, and
Ben could hear him approaching as well, followed by Finn. Rey
waved to them both, taking his hand yet again as he stiffened at
the sight of the men. It was no secret that he did not like Poe.
The man was insufferable, and did nothing to try and make
himself more cordial. Not to mention, he had been a favorite of
his mother.
His eyes met Poe's almost as soon as the other man came into
view, Poe looking away quickly. He said hello to Rey, and only
Rey, he observed, thanking her for Finn's time off. The thanks
only reminded Ben of another reason he didn't much care for the
other man: he distracted Finn. He knew Finn had duties as
co-General, but becoming a Jedi was important work, much more
important that being a general, in his opinion. Besides, the
fact that Poe even needed a co-General just proved to him that
he man wasn't ready to accept the duties he had been given by
his own mother. What his mother had seen in him he would
probably never know, but Poe did, at least, give him a nod after
a period of uncomfortable silence. Ben nodded back, doing his
best yet again not to glare. "General Dameron, Finn," he greeted
the two, being polite for Rey's sake, if anything. "What an...
unexpected surprise. What brings you two into Theed?" he asked,
trying to make small talk while also wanting to get away as soon
as possible, letting Rey's hand fall so he could wrap his arm
around her waist instead, bringing her close. "Rey and I were
just enjoying our time off as well... alone."
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Finn was absolutely starving, and he was beyond grateful that he
had this opportunity not just to eat, but to eat with Poe. It
wasn't really something that happened a lot anymore due to their
own workloads, and Finn had, admittedly, eaten nothing all day.
He figured Poe had probably eaten nothing himself, which
explained why the man seemed so excited, dragging Finn around
Theed by the hand. If anything though, it just really amused
him, and he was glad that Poe's empty stomach had yet to make
him grumpy. The man did have a tendency to get into certain
moods during certain situations, and Finn didn't always enjoy
having to deal with a grouchy Poe Dameron. No one did. Finn,
thankfully, only got grouchy when he was extremely tired. Hungry
he could deal with a little better.
Poe asked him what he wanted for lunch, suggesting stew as he
seemed to look at every stand, continuing to tug Finn along with
him. "Stew is fine. Stew is perfect actually," he said before
Poe come into an abrupt stop, BB-8 running into him and Finn
running into BB-8. "Sorry, BB-8," said Finn while Poe apologized
himself, saying that he must have been hungrier than he had
originally thought, causing Finn to chuckle. "Listen, we can get
whatever you want as long as-" BB-8 suddenly started beeping
excitedly, Finn only catching one thing that sounded familiar.
Rey. Rey was here?
The droid suddenly rolled off, Poe starting to chase after him
before Finn could even try to answer his question of what the
droid had said. Finn groaned, tired of all the physical activity
he had already been submitted to throughout the day, but
followed after Poe and BB-8 anyways, determined to keep up with
his boyfriend. Besides, if Rey was in the city, it would be rude
to not say hello or something. The two of them didn't really get
to chat as much anymore. Either Rey was teaching him during
lessons or giving her advice on situations during meetings, but
usually when she wasn't doing that, she was with Ben, who Finn
didn't make a habit of spending extra time with.
Finn spotted Rey as he jogged after Poe and BB-8, noticing right
away the she was, surprisingly, accompanied by Ben. Finn knew he
didn't really come out much except during lessons, and it was
kind of weird to see him out and about, dressed so casually with
a black sweater and jacket and some of his hair pulled back.
Finn had never seen him with his hair pulled back or wearing
something that wasn't his Sith or Jedi robes. He didn't look
bad, but it was unnerving, weirdly enough, especially since he
didn't look too happy to see them. Rey, on the other hand,
looked as beautiful as ever, and seeing her in her casual attire
didn't surprise him nearly as much. She looked great, and seeing
her and her bright presence next to Ben and his... brooding
demeanor in the colorful city of Theed was... something.
Poe greeted Rey, barely even acknowledging Ben, which just made
things weirder, talking about him and his time off and thanking
her. Rey brushed off the thanks, reminding Finn of the Gathering
coming up soon and smiling. Poe cleared his throat, and Finn
glanced at him and Ben, Poe nodding to the tall man before Ben
greeted him and Poe. "Hi Rey, Master Solo," Finn greeted back,
referring to Ben by the title he called him in class. Ben
sounded too much like Ren, and he was afraid that he would slip
up like he usually did when he was talking to Poe if he tried to
call him by his first name. He didn't want to cause a scene or
anything, and he knew no one else did either, so he was hoping
things would stay that way. He never knew how things would go
when Ben and Poe were before one another.
Ben asked what they were doing, making it very clear that they
were not wanted around. "We were just grabbing lunch, like I'm
assuming you two were doing before BB-8 got carried away," said
Finn, giving BB-8 a look while trying to keep things light.
"Yes, this droid always does seem to be getting into trouble.
Perhaps it should be watched more carefully," said Ben, looking
at Poe.
Finn cursed under his breath. He couldn't tell if Ben was
purposefully trying to start something or not, but Finn could
feel the tension in the air. He knew the two hated each other
for their own reasons or whatever, but Finn just wanted to get
some lunch with Poe and be on their way. Besides, he didn't know
why Ben had such a vendetta for Poe anyways, besides the fact
that Poe didn't like him for pretty good reasons. Being tortured
by someone tends to get them not to like you, but, then again,
Rey was in love with the guy after all he had done to her.
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Miles knew he had agreed to go running with Sirah, but he hadn't
expected how hard it would be to keep up with her. The girl was
fast, slashing through brush and seemingly enjoying herself
while Miles struggled to keep up, SP-3 poking out of his breast
pocket and beeping. "Yeah, I know she's ahead of me SP, thank
you," Miles mumbled, the droid not letting up as he beeped more
in response. "I am trying to catch up with her, SP, that's
exactly what I'm doing," he went on, rolling his eyes as the
droid just kept on going. "I am not slow, she's just fast," he
argued, tapping the droids head as he ran. "Get back in there,
you're not helping," he insisted, closing the flap to his pocket
while SP beeped in protest. He'd let him out again once they
stopped.
He turned to look to the side of him, taking in what he could of
Naboo while Sirah remained ahead of him. He couldn't deny the
planets beauty, and it was a nice change of pace from his own
planet that only really had a bunch of factories and small
villages. Honestly, he wouldn't mind living on a planet like
this some day, as long as he could still sell droids. Of course,
he would sell droids of his own design if he were to live
somewhere other than his home planet. R3 units were fun and all,
but it got a little boring building the same model of droids all
day, which is why SP came into being. He already had other ideas
in mind, and he hoped that soon he could turn those ideas into
physical things. Jedi training was making it hard to focus on
his other hobbies though, which was a little upsetting.
Sirah finally slowed down once they started to approached the
cliff, asking him if they should go up it. He stopped running,
placing his hands on his knees and taking a chance to catch his
breath. "Yeah, sure, cliff, yes," he tried to agree coherently,
taking one more deep breath before standing back up straight.
"Maybe there will be a nice place to meditate up there," he
said, walking over to the cliff and looking up to the top. It
wasn't too high. Or, well, it didn't look too high. "Oh! I, uh,
also packed us some stuff to eat," he remembered to announce,
patting his leather crossbody bag. "Nothing fancy, but I figured
it wouldn't be any good to try and meditate with my stomach
growling," he explained, wiping some sweat from his brow.
"Anyways, ladies first," he insisted, admittedly still trying to
get his heart to stop racing from running so much.
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ibana[/center]
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10: rey & poe & sirah & rickon
By: winterssmary Date: January 15, 2020, 7:00 am
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At first, everything was going better than she had originally
thought, which Rey was thankful for. They were still getting
stares, a few hushed whispers. Overall, it wasn't that bad. It
was still uncomfortable, feeling everyone's eyes on her. It was
always uncomfortable, even when she was just on her own. Having
all of Naboo staring at her, even in admiration when the Jedi
Master was by herself, made her feel very self-conscious, as if
any wrong move would disrupt the galaxy's peace. She knew she
was putting too much pressure on herself in that regard, but it
didn't stop her from feeling that way. However, these feelings
were amplified with Ben by her side. Because they weren't
looking on in admiration or appreciation. They saw the couple
and looked upon them only with shame, confusion, and fear. The
judgment was difficult to bear, but she would. Ben deserved to
show himself for who he truly was the world deserved to see how
he had changed, how he was no longer Kylo Ren and was, in
actuality, a gentle and nurturing soul. She held onto him
regardless of the stares, the obvious negativity being directed
at them. She wasn't backing down from this.
She smiled up at Ben when he glanced down at her, glad she could
provide him with some sort of comfort. Or maybe it was just
distraction. Either way, every moment he was focused on their
hands being linked instead of the onlooking people was a win.
They made an interesting pair amongst the people of Theed, she
noticed. Everyone here was dressed in bright colors, beautifully
adorned attire that was a clear sign of wealth. Rey and Ben
didn't have much wealth -- since Ben lost all of his possessions
and Rey never owned much to begin with. They both dressed rather
plainly, Rey in earthy, muted tones that reminded her of her
home on Jakku. Ben wore all black. Perhaps they should do better
to blend in some time. But, then again, why would they want to?
Sure, Rey would like to branch out more, to shed her past life
as a scavenger on a desert planet that had to starve herself for
lack of rations. But she was so comfortable in the muted attire.
People stared at her less and she'd never really worn anything
different. The change in shoes and choice of shroud was enough
change for her, as she was already a little uncomfortable with
it.
She watched Ben carefully as they walked, catching him usually
with a small smile on his face. She didn't know if it was
forced, if it was too obvious what she was looking for, or if he
was genuinely enjoying himself by being in the bustle of the
city. He was generally more quiet, introverted than she was, so
being in crowds wasn't anything exciting to him. Or, at least,
that's what she thought. In actuality, she didn't know that with
certainty. She took a second to nuzzle her cheek against his
arm, just in case he was faking it for her benefit. She knew he
liked being cuddled. They both liked being cuddled.
She noticed how his expression softened, his smile more gentle
and real when she spoke to him. She listened intently for
whatever he was about to say, sure he wanted something meaty. Or
maybe he different. She had no real way of knowing. It was just
a guess. He was about to confirm these suspicions, saying
something about shaak meat before BB-8 interrupted them. Rey
couldn't be mad at the droid, since he obviously didn't know any
better and she was happy to see him regardless. She did,
however, see Ben's smile fall out of the corner of her eye. She
knew Ben had made the connection that, since BB-8 was here, Poe
was probably approaching. For some reason, Ben didn't like Poe.
Rey didn't quite get it. Of course, she had her own issues with
the man: he had an attitude problem sometimes. She still loved
him and valued his friendship. Poe, however, had some obvious
issues with Ben. While Rey could forgive Ben for the things he
did as Kylo Ren, Poe was having a hard time moving forward.
Maybe that was why Ben didn't like him?
She could feel how Ben tensed once he saw the other men
approaching. Instinctively, she squeezed his hand and kissed him
on the arm, the part she could reach without standing on her
tiptoes. She wanted Ben to get along with her friends. She
wanted that desperately. But, that was probably asking a bit too
much for the time being. They were all stressed and Ben was
still getting accustomed to everything after the fall of the
First Order. They all were, really. So, at this point, she'd
settle for a strained peace and getting out of there as soon as
possible, for Ben's benefit. Hopefully, one day, they'd be able
to move past all of this. But, as of right now, that wasn't
realistic, unfortunately. It was upsetting to think about, for
Rey to have to keep two very important parts of her life
separate -- save for Finn, who was stuck in the middle -- but it
had to happen.
Rey smiled at Poe, greeting him with the same warmth and
brightness she always did. He thanked her for giving Finn some
time off, and she waved away his gratitude, stating that they
could all use a break. They all needed rest, especially with the
Gathering coming up. She noticed the uncomfortable nods that Ben
and Poe shared, which made her swallow thickly. She didn't like
how tense this already was. Finn approached and Rey let out a
quiet sigh of relief. Finn wasn't crazy about Ben, but he also
wasn't fond of all the conflict and tension between their
respective boyfriends. The two of them together could diffuse a
situation, right? "Hi Finn. I hope you're having a restful
break," she said, though she knew he was likely just as busy now
as he would have been had they continued training. He was a
co-general. He had a lot of responsibilities.
Ben dropped her hand, instead wrapping an arm around her waist
and pulling her closer to him. She leaned her head against him
again, accepting the contact, but immediately pulled her head
back up when he made his little alone comment. She nudged him
softly with her elbow, not saying anything to keep from calling
him out in public, but making it clear that she didn't like how
rude that was. Poe snapped back and Rey gritted her teeth. Finn
said they were getting lunch and BB-8 beeped at him when he said
that the droid got carried away. Rey was about to make a comment
to BB-8, about how it was no trouble and she was always happy to
see him, but Ben snapped back, directing his frustration at Poe.
"Ben," she warned quietly before Poe decided to speak up.
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Finn didn't seem to annoyed by Poe pulling him around, quickly
moving about the marketplace. That was good. He definitely
didn't want to be hungry and annoying.
But he didn't want to move slowly and at a leisurely pace.
Every second they spent strolling without urgency was another
second that he was hungry and he simply did not want that. He
didn't think he could put it off for too much longer. He knew
how intolerable he could get while he was hungry and he didn't
wish that on anyone, especially Finn. Well, maybe, just maybe,
he wished Kylo Ren would push him while he was hungry. That
could either be really funny or really tragic, depending on how
"reformed" that guy really was. Poe didn't like him. Poe wanted
an excuse to insult him and tell him off. However, Poe wasn't a
complete idiot. He knew that, if he went too far, Ren was likely
to strike back with more than just words. And Kylo Ren could
kill him, no question.
He looked about all the stands, taking in the smells, though
Reedox-Stew still sounded the best to him. Just saying it aloud
made his stomach grumble. He smiled brightly when Finn said that
sounded perfect. "Awesome. I think we can get some up here," he
said, starting forward until BB-8 made his presence known once
more, running into Poe and suddenly causing a mild pile-up. He
listened as Finn started to say something, but was cut off by
BB-8 getting distracted. Poe loved Finn, but he had to chase
down BB-8. He couldn't lose him again in the markets of Theed.
It was getting exhausting to try and keep up with the droid,
especially when he got excited. But he loved him all the same
and needed to keep him by his side. Or, at least, under
someone's protection. But, last time he did that, Rey dropped a
tree on him, so he was little hesitant now.
He reached Rey and Ben, uncomfortable at the sight of Kylo Ren
with his hair pulled back and wearing a sweater. Way to make one
of the most feared mass murders in the galaxy look less
threatening. He almost laughed at the hair, but kept himself
from doing so. It was just partially pulled back. It's not like
he braided it or anything, so what was the issue? He and Rey
quickly exchanged words about Finn's break, him simply nodding
when she said they could all use a break. What did Kylo need a
break from? What was he doing aside from hiding? And, you know,
going through all the stuff he stole from his parents after he
murdered them? The man actually greeted Poe. By name. Kinda.
"Hi," he said briefly, refusing to use a name. He definitely
wasn't calling him Ben. Leia chose that name. He had no right to
it. He wouldn't call him a Solo. That was Han's name. He gave it
up when he murdered his own father. Kylo Ren was the only name
that still fit, as far as Poe was concerned. But he knew that
would cause an uproar, so he kept quiet on that front.
He laughed a little when Ren made it very clear that they
weren't welcome, even going as far as to grab at Rey and pull
her away from them, closer to himself. Wow, that was kinda
possessive and weird. He was also bringing up privacy. In a
public space. In a city that Poe helped maintain since taking
over a position as General. He tilted his head and put his hands
on his hips. "Well, you're doing a bang-up job at this whole
alone thing. In one of the most populous cities in the galaxy,"
he said sarcastically. "Though, I get the feeling you spend
enough time alone. You know, actually alone," he added, folding
his arms over his chest. Listen, the man didn't have to try and
shoo them away. Poe hadn't even done anything yet. BB-8 beeped
in agreement and Poe smiled at his droid companion.
Finn managed to cut in when Ren asked what they were doing in
Theed. Poe still thought it was a stupid question. What wouldn't
they be doing in Theed? It was the capital of the whole planet.
It was where Finn and Poe both worked every day. "We live here,"
Poe added to Finn's explanation. BB-8 started beeping when Finn
said he got carried away. Finn wasn't wrong, but BB-8 just
wanted to go play with his friend Rey. He wasn't doing anything
wrong. And that was when things got worse. Kylo Ren had the
audacity to make a comment about BB-8, saying he was trouble and
needed to be watched better. Poe gritted his teeth. Did he like
this guy? No. Was he going to find a problem with everything he
said and did? Probably. But was this too far? Yup. Don't bring
my son into this, he thought. Of course, BB-8 wasn't his son. He
was more of a pet than anything, but given how badly Poe wanted
children and how that wasn't an option at the moment, BB-8 was
the closest thing he had.
Poe chuckled lightly at the comment, completely ignoring that
Rey was trying to deescalate the situation already. He glanced
over to the woman, shifting his weight so that his right hip
stuck out a little bit. "Rey, sweetheart, your boyfriend always
does seem to be getting into trouble. Perhaps you should watch
him more carefully," he said in a mocking tone. "Wouldn't want
another village massacre like on Jakku," he added, more venom in
his voice this time. Seriously, where did this guy get off? He
was a literal murderer. And not a soldier who did what he had to
do. An actual killer of innocents. He murdered his own father
for crying out loud. "Also, might wanna keep a better eye on him
when you're training those students of yours. I don't think this
guy can be trusted around children."
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Sirah couldn't hear much of what Miles was saying, given that
there was some distance between the two of them for a little
bit. She'd called back to him asking for clarification once or
twice, but quickly realized that he was talking to SP-3, so it
wasn't important to her anymore. She really needed to slow down.
Sprinting was not a good idea for a number of reasons. For one
thing, she was leaving Miles in the dust, which was not cool.
And not the point of all of this. They were supposed to be
helping each other and, you know, bonding. Like friends did.
But, instead, she was being inconsiderate. On top of that,
sprinting meant that she'd tire herself out more, which meant
she wouldn't succeed in her mindful meditation like she hoped
she would. She also didn't stretch beforehand and didn't want to
pull a muscle. The point is, Sirah needed to chill.
She slowed down as they approached the cliff, eventually coming
to a halt altogether. Of course, she only stopped when she
noticed that Miles had done so, hands on his knees. If it were
up to her, she would have kept going in one fluid motion. But
that wasn't smart for either of them. Or realistic, the more she
thought about it. She wasn't quite that fit yet. She'd probably
hurt herself in the attempt. Miles wasn't nearly as extreme as
she was, but he was twice as smart, she decided. She leaned
against the cliff face, the two of them trying to catch their
breath. Sirah was intent on hiding this though, her pants far
from obvious. She could feel herself getting a little
lightheaded as she fought to not take in ridiculous amounts of
air. After she stopped running, when the adrenaline died off,
she realized how much she had just overexerted herself. But she
couldn't let him know that. If he thought she was being stupid,
he'd see that she can't to everything she claims to. And she
wasn't having that.
He barely got out a sentence in response to her question. If she
weren't out of breath herself, she might have laughed. But she
didn't have the air for it. "We can rest and catch our breath
for a second here if you need to," she said, not quite masking
the exhaustion in her voice. This worked much better for her
than when she didn't talk. She swallowed her pride for a second.
"Or, you know, we could take a second anyway because I need it,"
she said with a breathy laugh. "I think I got carried away on
the way up here," she admitted.
She nodded when he said there was probably a nice place to
meditate up there. "Yeah, I hope so. I like to be up high, so I
think it'll be good," she said. She looked up the face of the
cliff. The angle wasn't ridiculous, but she knew it would
probably be more intimidating once she actually started scaling
the thing. But she'd just have to be brave. All Jedi were brave,
right? He smiled brightly when Miles said he packed them food.
He always came prepared and she appreciated him for that. She
tended to improvise, which meant that she often had to go
without because she simply lacked the care and attention that he
did. "You're always on top of things, aren't you?" she said with
a small laugh. "Good idea. Thanks for coming prepared. Like
always," she added. He then gestured for her to start climbing,
adding a 'ladies first' comment. She shrugged. "Fine by me," she
said as she quickly took to scaling the cliff.
It wasn't a ridiculous climb, but she couldn't make it as
quickly as she hoped that she could. That was probably because
she was still a little tired from her sprint earlier. While she
liked the ache of her sore muscles and the strain in her throat
as she fought for air, this wasn't her best idea. Physical
exertion was usually exhilarating to her, but not while also
climbing a cliff. Regardless, she made it through pretty well,
though more cautiously than she would have under different
circumstances. She had a tendency to take the fast, reckless
route. But, since her vision was a little weird at the moment,
she decided against taking the risk today. She was angry at
herself for that decision, but keeping her bones in tact was
more important than maintaining her delicate ego. She made it to
the top, pulling herself up and wiping her hands on her pants as
she waited for Miles.
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dikwass[/center]
#Post#: 342--------------------------------------------------
[10] BEN┃FINN┃MILES┃KYA
By: Zellaphone Date: January 16, 2020, 2:52 am
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Ben, despite what he had originally thought, had actually been
enjoying himself. Stares and whispers aside, it was nice to go
out into a more public setting with Rey, doing what normal
couples would do. As long as no one was brave enough to step up
to them and say something to their faces, he would be fine. He
could ignore their silly whispers, and Rey herself didn't seem
to be too bothered by them, so why worry? He just wanted to
focus on her and their time together, and if things continued to
go well, perhaps he would visit the city more often with her. It
would be a nice change of pace for the both of them, he
believed, and they could see more of Naboo together. He knew she
would enjoy that, and who was he to keep her from anything?
Ben was observing each stand and what it had to offer as they
walked, feeling Rey nuzzle against his arm. He chuckled, smiling
down at her yet again and giving her hand
a squeeze. He always did enjoy her being close. There was
nowhere he'd rather be than by her side, and he awaited the day
where she wasn't occupied with so much so he could make
everything official. He didn't know if Rey had really thought
about it or not with so much on her mind, but Ben thought about
asking her to be his wife often. His parents, from what his
father had told him, had done it during the spur of a moment
after the Battle of Endor, not really thinking too much of it.
Ben didn't want to make the same mistakes as them, and he wanted
to plan everything perfectly. He wanted to ask her at the right
time, at the right place, and if she said yes, he wanted their
wedding to be the wedding of her dreams... if she dreamed about
such things. He didn't have any questions about he and Rey being
together for the rest of their lives, being a dyad in the Force
and all, but he did have a thing for titles, and being referred
to as Rey's husband was something he did crave.
He put aside his thoughts of marriage as Rey asked him what he
wanted to eat, unable to give her a proper answer before BB-8
made an appearance, followed by Finn and Poe and starting the
decline of their day. Everything had been so peaceful and so
blissfully perfect that he should have known it wouldn't last.
He couldn't help his distaste for Poe. He really couldn't, and
the man didn't make it any easier for him. Unlike others, such
as Finn, Poe didn't even give him a chance, and for a man who
supposedly had loved his mother so much, it was strange that he
wasn't giving him any second chances. Surely his mother would
have taught someone she adored something about forgiveness. Poe
was nothing like his mother, and yet, he acted like he thought
he was. He thought he was so special being his mother's favorite
when it was he who was her son, not Poe. Poe was just some boy
that ended up becoming a part of the Resistance. He was not that
special.
Ben tried to make it clear that he wished to go about his day
with Rey without any interruptions, but apparently he hadn't
been polite enough, earning a nudge from Rey. Poe snapped back
without hesitation, making a snarky remark that was completely
unwarranted. The man added that he seemed to spend enough time
alone, and Ben gritted his teeth. It must have been nice to not
have to live in such fear because you were supposedly so
perfect. Everyone just loved Poe, and Ben couldn't see any
reason to it. The man was foolish, arrogant, and rude. Why his
mother had ever chosen him as her favorite was beyond him.
Finn cut in, trying to explain what they had been doing in the
city, Poe making yet another unnecessary remark, and Ben made a
comment about the droid that had run off to them, Rey quietly
saying his name. He didn't think himself to be rude. The droid
did have a tendency of getting into trouble, and if Poe
treasured him so much, he should keep a better eye on him. Poe
seemed to think his comment had been funny, however, chuckling
before looking to Rey. He spoke to her in a way Ben found to be
degrading to them both, calling her sweetheart and using his own
words against him. "Don't talk to her like th-" but Ben was cut
off before he could finish his request, Poe bringing up Jakku
and the village massacre where they had met and Finn had refused
to fire.
Ben froze, eyes boring into Poe, grip around Rey tightening. He
regretted that. He wasn't proud of that. That wasn't something
he ever wanted to repeat. He wasn't that man anymore, and he
would never be that man again. Poe had no right to bring that
up. No right. He didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. He didn't
even want to hurt Poe in this moment, but he was considering it.
Perhaps he did want to hurt him after all, and that scared him.
He wanted to punch him, and his free hand was already clenched
into a fist, trembling with anger and a swell of other emotions
by his side. This was the man his mother had admired so much.
This is who she had replaced him with. A man who would stoop
this low. A man who wouldn't even give him a chance when he was
trying his best.
He tried to calm down, but Poe didn't stop with the mention of
Jakku. Poe went on to say that Rey should keep an eye on him
around the students... because he couldn't be trusted around
children. Those words cut deeper than many he had heard. The joy
he experienced being around his students, the thoughts he had
about his future with Rey and the kids he hoped to have...
That's what people really still thought of him. That's what
people saw. A child murderer. Would they think that he would
kill his own kids if he had any? Would he? What if he did? What
if he messed up greater than his own parents ever had? He had
killed his mother, father, and his own uncle already. He had
tried killing Rey. What if he did cause more death? What if he
caused the death of his students?
Ben was glaring at Poe, feeling his blood boil. All these
thoughts and feelings were going through him in a mere second.
He didn't feel like he was in control of his own body anymore.
He was filled with so much fear, so much rage that he couldn't
hold back any longer. He took a step forward, intentions
unclear, but his body moving as his fist began to raise. No, he
wasn't like that anymore. He wasn't some filthy, disgusting,
horrible monster like he used to be. He would be happy, and he
would make Poe pay for what he had said to him.
Finn quickly stepped in front of Poe, moving him back. "Oookay,
I think we should go," said Finn, sounding calm, but Ben could
hear the anger in his voice.
"You think you have the right to judge me?" Ben asked, glaring
over Finn's shoulder at Poe. "You think you have the right to
put me in my place? Well you don't," Ben growled, his hands
still shaking. "You're not my mother. In fact, you're nothing
like her. All you have in common is your ranking, and you know
what? She chose wrong. You're not a general. You're just some
pilot playing pretend and begging people to take you seriously.
Well no one will take you seriously because they see right
through you. You don't know what you're doing," Ben spat out,
overwhelmed with anger. He hadn't felt anger like this in some
time, and he felt like he was spilling over. Everything he had
been holding back was threatening to come out.
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Finn was a simple guy. All he wanted was to spend time with Poe,
and get some food. He didn't really care what they ate, as long
as it was good, and he didn't care what they did, as long as it
was together. Poe suggested stew, and although Poe didn't really
care, stew did sound really good. He heard Poe's stomach
grumble, and laughed, saying that stew was fine before BB-8 went
running, or, well, rolling away. Finn sometimes forgot how
excitable the droid could get and how it would just do whatever
it pleased. Really, BB-8 and Poe were alike in that way, but he
supposed all droids picked up a few things from their masters,
right? Finn didn't know a whole lot about droids. He had just
wanted to get some stew before they had to go to their meeting.
He caught up with Poe and BB-8, greeting Rey and Ben who BB-8
had rolled into. Finn could already sense how uncomfortable
everyone was, including himself. The last person he had ever
expected to run into in the city was Ben Solo himself, and an
exchange between Poe and Ben never seemed to go well for anyone.
Rey was trying to keep everything light though, and so was Finn,
smiling when Rey said that she hoped he was having a restful
break. "Uh, yeah, it's been pretty nice," he said with a shrug.
"Just, you know, balancing jobs," he explained casually, trying
to ignore the looks Poe and Ben were giving one another. They
were all adults here, right? Surely they could all act like
ones. There was no reason to get all defensive or mad or
threatened or anything in the bustling city of Theed.
Except, apparently, there was. Ben asked some questions, making
it totally clear that he wanted Poe and himself to leave, and
Poe didn't hesitate to make some snappy remarks. Finn tried to
casually nudge his ankle with his foot in a poor attempt to get
Poe to stop. He didn't have to be so rude for no reason, even if
Ben wasn't being overly friendly. Finn could at least tell that
the guy was trying. His attempt to get Poe to calm down didn't
help at all though, of course, and the conversation only got
more heated as Ben made a comment about BB-8. Finn bit the
inside of his cheek at that. It was never good to bring BB-8
into something like this when Poe was around. His boyfriend
thought of the droid like some kind of child or really close
pet, and to insult it was to insult Poe himself, really. Finn
knew things could only go downhill from there.
And boy did they go downhill.
Poe placed his hands on his hips, which was another sign that
things weren't going well, turning Ben's words around on Rey.
Finn cleared his throat, feeling more uneasy only for Poe to
mention Jakku. His eyes shot to Poe, shocked that the man would
mention that sort of thing, and then looked to Ben, who Finn
could see was already seething. He knew he should probably do
something, like step in and try to diffuse the situation, but
Poe didn't stop there, adding that Rey shouldn't trust Ben
around their children students. Now Finn knew that that was
going too far. Finn saw Ben with those kids every day, and he
never felt any malice or ill-intentions. It was apparent that
Ben cared for his students, even him, in a way. He was genuinely
trying to teach them how to be Jedi, and whether he had any
alternative motives or not, Finn couldn't say, but it had never
felt that way to him. Ben was actually pretty good around the
kids, to Finn's surprise.
Finn took that as his moment to finally step in, seeing Ben take
a step forward, no doubt about to act on his anger. This had
gone way too far, and Finn wasn't about to have a fight break
loose in the middle of the city. Especially not between his
boyfriend who was a general and Ben who was supposed to be
showing everyone that he had supposedly changed. Finn hadn't
failed to notice the other man's blaster under his jacket
however, and it was at least a step up that he hadn't reached
for that like he could have. Again, Finn did believe the man was
trying.
Unfortunately, Finn stepping in didn't keep Ben from saying some
words of his own, insulting Poe, bring Leia into it all, and
continuously degrading his boyfriend. It upset Finn. Of course
it upset him. Ben didn't have any right to say any of those
things, but Finn also knew that Poe didn't have any right to
have said the things he did either. They were both in the wrong,
and Finn gave Rey an apologetic glance before reaching back and
placing a hand on Poe's arm. "Alright, we're leaving," Finn
decided, knowing that if they stayed any longer, things would
get messy. He turned to face Poe, grabbing both his arms and
urging him backwards. "We're going," he told Poe, looking over
his shoulder at Rey and Ben. "I'll see you two tomorrow."
He took Poe's hand and started to drag him away from the other
pair, trusting BB-8 to follow. He didn't say anything, just kept
walking past a bunch of stands until he knew he had properly
distanced themselves from Ben. Finn walked to the side of the
street, bringing Poe along with him before turning to him once
more, letting go of his hands and putting his own hands on his
hips this time. "What was that?" Finn asked, still upset. That
whole display had been extremely inappropriate, and Finn
couldn't believe the stuff that had been said from both
participants. "Did you want to start a fight in the middle of
the city? How would that look? General Dameron loosing his cool
in front of dozens of people? You think that would look good?"
Finn sighed, running a hand down his face in frustration, trying
to calm down.
Finn turned away from Poe, closing his eyes and breathing
through his nose. What Poe had done was wrong. Completely wrong,
but he also knew that the man must have been hurt from what Ben
had said as well, and he didn't want Poe thinking that he was
completely ignoring that. He was being sympathetic. He was just
upset that their evening had already gotten derailed and now
everyone was in a bad mood. They were supposed to be enjoying
themselves. His alone time with Poe these days were precious,
and Finn didn't want to waste them getting into fights with his
teacher and his friend. That wasn't fair on anyone.
Finn looked back to Poe, wrapping his arms around him and
bringing him into an embrace, pressing his face briefly into
Poe's neck. "I'm sorry. Are you alright?" he asked, leaning back
and brushing a wave of Poe's hair away from his face, trying to
smile softly. He was still upset, but he needed Poe to know that
he still had his back no matter what, even if he was kind of an
idiot.
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Miles knew that Sirah had to be exhausted herself. There was no
way someone could run like that for that long and not be a
little tried. He noticed how her chest heaved unevenly once they
stopped, but he could tell that she was trying to hide her
exhaustion. Miles didn't make any comment about it though, not
seeing any real need to unless Sirah tried running again right
away. They both needed some time to catch their breaths, and
there was nothing wrong with that, but Sirah did have a thing
about having to look tough, even though it was just natural to
get tired.
She offered to wait so Miles could catch his breath, making him
smile as he could hear the exhaustion in her own voice. Again
though, he didn't comment on it. Then she backtracked, admitting
that she did, indeed, need a chance to rest as well, saying that
she got carried away. "Lets just take our time heading back to
the Temple, okay?" he suggested with a chuckle, leaning against
the cliff himself and taking a moment to close his eyes and
continue focusing on his breath. He wasn't going to be able to
climb any cliffs if he was already exhausted. Perhaps they
should have saved the running for the way back instead. It
didn't help that SP had been practically making fun of him the
whole time they had been running either. He had tried to make
his personality as unique as possible, but the droid had a lot
of sass in his little body.
Sirah agreed that there would probably be a nice place to
meditate on top of the cliff, saying that she liked high places.
Miles nodded, not really having much of an opinion of levels of
ground. She also seemed impressed by his skill of planning ahead
after he informed her of the snacks he was carrying, laughing as
she pointed it out and thanked him. "Yeah, no problem. It always
helps to be prepared," he told her before offering for her to
climb the cliff ahead of him, which she had no issue with.
Miles followed after her, keeping a safe distance between them
in case anything happened. The cliff wasn't too tall or steep,
but he didn't want her falling, not that he thought she would.
She appeared to be taking her time, no doubt still tried from
the run as they climbed. Miles hadn't pushed himself as much, so
he was fine, but he waited on her nonetheless, throwing his bag
to her feet once she had reached the top before reaching the top
himself. He took a breath, lying down in the grass and
chuckling, letting his feet dangle off the cliff. "We made it,"
he said with a smile, staring up at the sky before sitting up
and dusting himself off, grabbing his bag and opening it.
"Alright, I got some quick-meal packs and some wyrg-jerky. You
hungry?" he asked, grabbing his canteen of water and setting it
out for them.
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gogowa *bass boosted*
BWAHNANANANANANANANANANANANANABWAHNANANANANANANANANANANA[/center
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#Post#: 343--------------------------------------------------
11: rey & poe & sirah & rickon
By: winterssmary Date: January 16, 2020, 9:30 pm
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Ben's chuckle was a pleasant sound, and not one she heard as
often as she would have liked to. Rey knew that he wasn't
generally humorous. He hardly ever laughd because something was
actually funny to him, but instead, when he was feeling some
semblance of peace or joy. She knew this to be one of those
times, watching as he smiled down at her. She felt him squeeze
her hand and couldn't help the small giggle in response. The
space between them was minimal, which was how she liked it. And
she knew Ben liked it too. It seemed like the pair was always
trying to find a way to be closer to one another, especially
when they didn't have their students looking at them. She
silently hoped not to run into them while they were in the
marketplace. That would be rather uncomfortable. For the time
being, it seemed like there weren't many people they recognized
though, which was definitely good. Unfortunately, everyone else
seemed to recognize them. They kept to themselves, so she was
willing to let it go for the time being.
BB-8 emerged from the crowd, pulling Rey's attention away from
Ben, even if just for a moment. She felt a little guilty about
it. This was supposed to be her day with Ben. She'd been the one
to convince him to come out in the first place. Did she have any
right to ignore him? Even if only for a few seconds? Part of her
knew she was being ridiculous in thinking that she wasn't
allowed contact with her other friends while Ben was around.
But, the other part of her knew how he was. Ben wouldn't be
angry with her, but maybe she'd hurt him without realizing. She
couldn't sense any pain from him in that moment. Instead, she
only felt his anticipation and annoyance when Poe appeared. Rey
knew they didn't like each other. He hated that they didn't like
each other. But she didn't know how to remedy the situation.
Luckily, Finn was right there to help if things got out of hand.
She smiled at his response, shaking her head once he reminded
her of how busy he typically was. "Of course. You do so much
good work," she said.
Rey didn't like how readily Ben dismissed the two of them,
essentially trying to shoo them away. Sure, Rey wanted to spend
alone time with him as well, but he didn't have to be so rude
about it. They weren't going to spend the day as a group either
way. Odds are, Finn and Poe wanted some time alone as well. She
blamed Ben's actions on his overall lack of social contact,
seeing as he rarely left the Temple anymore. And he already
carried a bad reputation everywhere he went, so maybe he didn't
feel a need to keep up the niceties. She'd have to mention that
to him later. Poe snapped back quickly though, which made Rey
grit her teeth. Ben did spend a lot of time alone and she hated
it. She hated how lonely he must have been, scared of leaving
the Jedi Temple for the past tend months. She hated that he
couldn't live normally, happily, without a legitimate fear of
public reaction to him. "Poe, he didn't mean -," but Poe cut her
off by holding a hand up. "I know what he meant."
Finn tried to explain their situation, probably just as anxious
to leave the situation behind as she was. But then Ben made a
comment about BB-8. He didn't respond when Rey said his name,
which worried her. He must not have understood what about that
statement was so problematic. Rey knew how much Poe genuinely
loved his droid and Ben was intentionally antagonizing Poe,
using BB-8 as bait. She'd have to have a talk with him about
that too. He had a tendency to find vulnerable topics in an
attempt to get a reaction out of people. He'd done it in the
past by constantly bringing up her parents. Perhaps he didn't
realize that was what he was doing with Poe. She noted how Poe
chuckled, putting his hands on his hips. That couldn't be good.
Poe turned to address Rey directly and she couldn't help how she
held her breath, her entire body going tense as she braced
herself for the end of the peace she'd felt all day. She scowled
at the word sweetheart, knowing that he meant to be
condescending. She knew Poe was doing this to anger Ben and not
herself, but it didn't sit right with her. On top of that, she
didn't like being used as a pawn in an attempt to set off her
boyfriend. Ben quickly jumped to her defense before he was cut
off entirely, leaving the rest of the group in stunned silence.
Rey wasn't actually there when Kylo Ren lead a massacre on
Jakku, when he took Poe as a prisoner of war, tortured him, and
when Finn decided to betray the First Order. She wasn't there.
She didn't witness the event for herself, but she knew enough
about it to know that it was not a reflection of who Ben was and
that this was going to be very difficult for him to hear.
Ben's grip around her tightened, causing Rey to tense even more.
She wouldn't admit it aloud -- for obvious reasons -- but the
strength he was using to pull her close actually hurt a little
bit. He was squeezing rather tightly, but she did her best to
ignore it for the time being. It wasn't important. What was
important was the overwhelming rage she sensed in Ben the moment
Jakku was mentioned. "Ben," she whispered, deciding to handle
the situation as delicately as she could, leaving Poe's issues
for Finn to deal with. She wrapped both of her arms around him,
one of her hands moving to the back of his head as she stroked
what she could reach of his hair. She was trying her best to be
soothing, knowing that Ben usually responded well to affection.
But she could still feel his anger. She didn't think she was
being as helpful as she wished.
That was when Poe continued, bringing their students into the
mix. That was rather hypocritical, she thought. If he was so
offended by the mention of BB-8, why was it suddenly okay to
claim that Ben might actually hurt one of his students. Rey
froze at the statement, hand falling from Ben's hair as she
stared at Poe in disbelief. "You're being ridiculous," she spat.
"I'm being ridiculous?" he countered. "You don't know anything
about him," she added. She rarely ever snapped back at anyone,
especially Poe, but he'd gone way too far this time. Rey would
have cared about keeping the peace, like she just moments
before, if she couldn't sense the very real pain and fear
growing in Ben.
Ben dropped his hands from around Rey, one of them balled into a
fist at his side as he stepped forward. Rey never expected to
actually be afraid of Ben after the war, but this was about as
close as she had come. She felt her stomach drop, her heartbeat
racing. Ben had a nasty temper, unfortunately, and was prone to
fits of rage that genuinely worried her. She knew for a fact
that he would never hurt her, but she wasn't completely sure
that he wouldn't hurt someone else -- especially Poe -- when he
was like this. Instinctively, she stepped forward with him,
grabbing for Ben's fist. Finn stepped in at just the right
moment, blocking Poe from Ben and doing everything he could to
get out of there.
Ben finally spoke up. His hands were shaking as he verbally
attacked Poe, bringing Leia into the mix, which Rey knew was
going to hurt the general. Ben knew it too. He was doing that on
purpose, which was disappointing. Rey knew he had the right to
be upset. He had the right to defend himself. She wasn't angry
that he went back at Poe. She just hated his tactics. They were
too much like the old him, preying on the insecurities and
vulnerabilities of others. She knew too well what it was like to
be on the other side of that. She still held his fist as it
trembled in her grip. Finn pulled Poe out of there and Rey was
too shocked, too anxious to actually speak as the pair left. She
let out a sigh, feeling a slight burning sensation as tears
pooled in her eyes, but she forced them back. She didn't need to
cry now. It wasn't that serious. She was just... stressed. "Come
here," she said quietly, tugging lightly on Ben's wrist and
trying to pull him into a quiet, somewhat private space between
two buildings.
She waited for him to face her, gritting her teeth the whole
time and trying to process the situation as best as she could.
She was upset, angry, and frightened. Ben could be a little
unpredictable when he was like this, full of rage. Again, she
knew he'd never hurt her. But she also knew that he had a
blaster on hand and a stronger inclination to the Force than
most other people. His abilities were often tied in with
emotions, as they all were. If he lost control, who knew what
destruction he could potentially cause? She wasn't happy with
him in the moment. He'd said some horrible things. But, she
wasn't really mad at him either. Her anger was reserved for Poe
in that moment. Did it mean she excused Ben's actions?
Absolutely not. But, if Poe would have kept his mouth shut about
children, this whole thing would have been fine. She decided it
would be best to handle this with compassion. Ben was hurting
deep down, not just blindly angry.
"Ben," she said gently, tenderly stroking his face before
cupping his cheek. "Love, are you alright? I need you to try and
calm down if you can," she cooed. She was keeping her voice
soft, her touch light so not to make the situation worse. She
didn't need him to be more upset, to be hurting more. "I can
sense your pain, darling," she said, standing on her tiptoes and
kissing his jawline. "Everything's alright now though, I
promise," she said.
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Was Poe being stupid? Yes, absolutely. Even in the moment,
immediately after he threw out the comment involving the
students, he regretted it. He knew he should have never said
anything like that. Bringing kids into his stupid feud was
uncalled for and he would have hated any other man who did
something like that. He was supposed to be better than this.
Leia taught him to be better than this. And now he couldn't even
apply those principles to her own son. She would be ashamed of
him. She'd smack him, at the very least, tell him that he was
disappointing her, that he was better than this. That he should
stop being a child. He was acting like a disgruntled teenager
instead of one of the most respected people in the galaxy. He
was a General, dammit. He was going to beat himself up about
this.
But he'd have to do that later, for his pride was bigger than
his common sense in that moment. He could deal with his shame
and regret when he had the time for it. But now, he was in too
deep and backing down would make him look -- and feel -- like a
total wimp. He wasn't having that. He had all but ignored Finn's
reactions to his statements, barely even recognizing that his
boyfriend cleared his throat, kicked at his ankles, and glared
at him. Great. Now, not only was he disgracing Leia's memory,
but he was upsetting Finn, who he just now got to spend time
with. He could feel his guilt surging, but kept trying to force
it into the back of his mind. He was in an argument. Now was not
the time to feel things.
He watched as Ren clenched his hand into a fist, his eyes going
wide at the sight. He gasped, pride suddenly flying out the
window. How stupid was he? He literally just provoked a mass
murderer. Again. And he still couldn't stop. He just kept going,
until Ben took a step forward. Poe stepped back in sync with his
movements before Rey grabbed for her boyfriend's hand. Then,
luckily, Finn stepped in. Oh boy, Poe was in trouble. And he
should have been. He was being an idiot and upsetting Finn and
making Rey angry. He didn't care in the slightest if Ben was mad
at him. He hated the guy. But he angered all of his friends. He
was hurting people. And all in the name of his own stupid pride.
On top of that, Kylo Ren could literally kill him. Easily. The
fact that he hadn't yet was astounding. He didn't think he'd be
genuinely afraid of the man after he moved in with Rey, but he
was wrong. The man was still just as horrifying, even with his
hair tied back and stupid sweater.
Ren shouted things over Finn's shoulder and Poe froze at the
sound. His jaw clenched. He knew he wasn't Leia. People had made
a point to remind him of that all the time. He wasn't like her.
He wasn't nearly as good as she was. He didn't deserve her
title. He didn't deserve her mentorship and love when she was
alive and he definitely didn't deserve it then. Unfortunately,
Kylo Ren was right about all of this. No one took him seriously.
No one treated him like an actual General. And they were right
to feel that way about him. He was a disgrace, a coward. An
idiot who made impulsive decisions and played with the galaxy's
safety. He wanted to say something witty in response to all of
this, but he couldn't. His mind went blank at the sheer accuracy
of Ren's comments. And at how much he deserved to be yelled at,
even by that guy. Finn and Rey knew he deserved it too. They had
to.
Finn took Poe's hand and lead him away from the situation, Poe
more upset now than angry. He wouldn't be able to forgive
himself for this one for a while. He ruined everyone's day and
his own self-esteem. What a concept. He nodded when Finn said
that they were going, feeling his stomach sink at the sound. He
was in trouble. He pulled Poe to the side of the street, a
considerable distance away from the mass murderer and his
girlfriend. His jaw clenched when Finn addressed him, obviously
upset. Angry. He had every right to be. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I
-," but he stopped at Finn's next sentence. "Wait a minute. I
get your point, but do you really think people would be that
upset that a respected General told off a mass murderer?" he
asked, trying to throw in a witty grin. It fell. It really fell.
He was so stupid.
"I really am sorry," he said, losing all joy from his tone. Finn
wrapped his arms around him and Poe hugged him back, angling his
head so that he could kiss his temple. And then he kissed it
again and again and again. He felt so horrible, more so for how
Finn got roped into his crap than anything else. He didn't
deserve that. And they were having such a good day. If he would
have just kept his mouth shut, no one would be sad or mad or
whatever. "I'm so sorry, Finn," he said in response to his
question. "I didn't mean for anything to happen like that. I'm
just... so... stupid," he said. "Ren's right. Leia did chose
wrong," he said. "I hate the guy, but I think I hate me more
right now. I'm sorry I ruined your day off," he said.
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She appreciated that Miles didn't ridicule her or really make a
comment on just how bad she was at masking her exhaustion. She
didn't need that being said. She knew she wasn't very good at
it. Pride was stupid that way. The chuckle was enough, she
thought. She nodded at his suggestion. "Yeah, good idea. We
should listen to you next time we take a run," she said.
Honestly, they should probably listen to Miles when it came to a
lot of things. He was much smarter than she was. And he actually
thought things through before doing them. They were opposites
that way. Sirah never focused on consequences whereas Miles was
incredibly careful, thoughtful. Each lifestyle had its
advantages, but she was starting to really see the appeal of how
Miles processed things. He didn't have to deal with nearly as
much regret at she did.
She shrugged at his comment about being prepared. "Yeah, I'm
learning that," she said. "You should probably hold onto that
skill," she added. She knew herself well enough to know that she
would likely never think things through the way that he did. She
usually only wanted to travel with a lightsaber. Maybe a friend,
but mostly a lightsaber. She always assumed she could adapt and
improvise her way out of any situation. So far, it had kept her
alive, but it wasn't going to work that way forever. She knew
that. But she didn't think she could change how she thought. "I
don't think my brain's wired for stuff like that," she said
casually.
She noticed that Miles was keeping a decent distance while they
climbed, though he seemed to be moving a little more swiftly
than she was. She wanted to pick up the pace at the sight, and
would have under different circumstances. She didn't want to
keep him waiting, to slow him down because she was a moron. But
she was just a little too tired. She'd be able to move at a
normal pace after meditation for a while. Probably. There was no
way it would take that long for her to recover. She made it to
the top, Miles following close behind and tossing his bag up
before climbing over the ridge. She collapsed to sit, legs
crossed, as Miles crashed to the ground, his feet dangling over
the edge. He seemed wistfully happy that they had made it at
all. "Of course we made it. We're Jedi," she said. Jedi could do
anything with ease, she always thought. She was learning that
this wasn't entirely true, but wasn't quite ready to drop the
exceptionalism just yet.
He sat up and grabbed for his bag. "Wyrg-jerky sounds great
right now," she said, holding her hand out and thanking him for
the offer. "I'm starving," she said. She waited for him to hand
her the snack before biting into it, liking the pulling she had
to do in order to actually rip off a mouthful. She liked tough
foods and things that crunched. "Thanks for tagging along. I
mean, I was more than willing to do all of this alone, but it's
nice to, you know, not be alone," she said awkwardly.
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mombay m'bwa[/center]
#Post#: 344--------------------------------------------------
[11] BEN┃FINN┃MILES┃KYA
By: Zellaphone Date: January 16, 2020, 11:29 pm
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Ben would have been more than happy to have continued to act
like a lovesick moron in front of the public. He would have
enjoyed laughing more with Rey, holding her close and taking in
her beauty as they just went about their evening, but fate
apparently had had different plans for them. Laughing with Rey
became glaring at Poe, and holding Rey close and taking in her
beauty became holding her too tightly and ignoring her warnings.
She tried standing up for him, but Poe simply cut her off,
insisting that he knew what he had meant when obviously he
hadn't. Ben genuinely hadn't meant to start anything. He had
just wanted to avoid this confrontation altogether so he could
have continued reveling in his time with Rey. He knew that she
was friends with Finn and Poe, but he was not. He was Finn's
teacher and meant nothing to Poe. The man saw him as he used to
be and not as he was now, and it was painfully clear.
Ben could sense the tension in everyone, and while his rage only
built by the moment, starting with the mention of Jakku, he did
glance down at Rey when she whispered his name. His grip around
her slightly loosened, but his eyes went back to Poe's as she
wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair in efforts that
he knew were supposed to calm him. Unfortunately, they were not
doing what they usually would, memories of his past and the
anger he felt in the present moment blinding him from any sort
of relief. He regretted his actions of Jakku, and although he
despised Poe, he regretted his past actions towards him as well.
He had captured the man, bound him, tortured him. He himself
knew what it felt like to have your mind invaded and torn apart,
to be tortured, and he so badly wanted to atone for his
mistakes, but now couldn't be the time for such things. Poe
wasn't giving him a chance. He never had.
When Poe brought up the students, insinuating that Ben would
hurt them, Rey stepped in yet again, but Ben could hardly focus.
He had been frightened from the start that he would someday end
up hurting his students, and now it was apparent that it had
crossed other's minds as well. He wondered if the children
themselves sometimes feared him, wondering if the Jedi Killer
would kill yet again. He wondered what people would say if he
someday were able to have kids of his own. He wondered if he'd
ever be able to take them out, of if people would continue to
whisper about him. He wondered if someone would try to take his
kids away. Was he even fit to ever be a father? Was he even fit
to be a teacher now? It hadn't even been a full cycle since he
had abandoned the name Kylo Ren. What made him think he had any
right to trust himself to be a Jedi Master and train the next
generation of Jedi? Others clearly didn't see him as fit.
Ben's anger overwhelmed him, hearing his own fears and
insecurities being used against him in such a way. It was
something that Snoke used to do to him frequently. He would mock
him, taunt him, demean him, belittle him to stoke his anger. It
had been part of his training, and part of his life. He probably
should have learned not to give into such anger by now, but it
was a thing he still greatly struggled with. His fist shook, and
he could sense the unease in the group turn to fear, which he
used to gain power from. He could see the fear in Poe's eyes as
he stepped towards him, but instead of the fear giving him a
feeling of power like it once had, it gave him a feeling of
guilt that helped ground him. He didn't swing, and Rey grabbed
his hand, Finn stepping in front of Poe to defend him.
When Ben spoke to Poe, it was with the malice that still
remained, anger still pushing him to act in some way. He hit Poe
where he knew it would hurt, thinking little of it due to his
rage. He wasn't thinking clearly, but his words seemed to strike
like he had wanted them to, seeing his jaw clench. He had hit a
vein, much like Poe had done to him, and before anything else
could be said, Finn announced that they were leaving, dragging
Poe away with an awkward goodbye. Ben had to fight to keep
himself from shouting out more, struggling with his anger.
Ben watched as Finn and Poe left before he heard Rey sigh beside
him, the world slowly coming back to him as he looked down to
her once again. He saw the moisture in her eyes and his breath
hitched in his throat before she asked him to come with her,
pulling him away someplace private by the wrist. His emotions
were still consuming him, and all he could feel was guilt and
anger and fear as he turned from her, unable to look at her at
the moment as he tried to regain some of his composure. He had
gone too far. He had done exactly what he knew he shouldn't
have. He had reverted back to his old ways, if even for a
moment. All he could see was that fear in Poe's eyes, a fear he
had seen in him before, and the look on Rey's face after they
left. She must be ashamed of him. He remembered sensing fear in
her as well. He had made her afraid of him again.
He ran a hand through his hair, forgetting it was tied back, and
slowly turned to face her, unable to quite meet her eyes. Ben
could still feel her fear, and he could feel her anger. He had
caused those feeling within her, and yet, she still spoke
softly, saying his name in that way he was unable to resist,
finally looking her in the eyes. He knew he could never truly
hide from her. He had accepted that long ago, and the way she
touched him threatened to break him. He was trying so hard to
banish the feelings of anger within him, but he couldn't help
it. Poe had pushed him, belittled him and even Rey, making him
say all those things and almost inflict physical violence onto
him. Rey called him love, asking if he was alright and urging
him to calm himself. He breathed heavily through his nose, being
pulled in so many ways inside as she told him that she could
sense his pain, kissing his jaw. He let out a breath, hands
still shaking as he placed him on his hips, burring his face in
shame as he tried to control himself, Rey telling him that
everything was alright.
It was not all alright, however. Ben knew it wasn't. He had
given Poe exactly what he wanted, and what Rey and Finn had
feared. He had proven that he hadn't completely changed, and had
acted in his old ways. He had so much anger built up within him
now and had no way of releasing it. He had to use it to expel
it. Ben growled, pulling away from Rey and turning back around.
"That man," Ben said quietly, fists by his sides. "That man!" he
shouted, punching the stone wall before him, pain briefly
shooting through his hand as he growled again in frustration.
Already, he was starting to feel better. "He had no right to say
those things to me! I have changed!" he said, knowing that he
wasn't fooling anyone anymore, not even himself. "I am not the
man I used to be, but he will always, always be that stubborn,
insubordinate boy!" Ben went on, venting his feelings and
frustrations, pacing. "What does everyone see in him? Why can
praise him but judge me?" he asked, not expecting any real
answers as he filtered through what was left of his rage.
Besides, he already knew the answer. Poe wasn't a murderer. He
wasn't a bad man. He was a good man, Ben knew, who sometimes did
bad things. "I am trying to change. Can't they see that? I want
to change. I don't want to hurt the innocent. I don't want to
want to hurt anyone! I'm trying!" he insisted, looking to Rey
once more. "I'm trying," he repeated, voice suddenly quiet as he
looked at her, feeling defeated inside.
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Everything had fallen apart so quickly, and Finn was doing the
best he could to stay grounded and alert. Poe had ignored all
his signs to stop and calm down, and now things had gone too far
and were getting too intense. Poe mentioned Jakku, bringing up
memories for probably just about everyone in the group. That had
been the day Finn had decided he was done with the First Order
and refused to kill on their command, but he had still seen
people die. He saw what Ben had caused on Jakku as he stood by
while innocent men, women, and children lost their lives. He
knew what he had done to Poe after capturing him. He knew about
much that Ben had done when he went by Kylo Ren, but not
everything. It was thanks to the brainwashing that he could only
remember so little.
Rey defended Ben when Poe brought up the other students and how
Ben might hurt them, and Finn knew he needed to step in as well.
While Finn knew of the evils Ben had done, he also knew that Ben
didn't want to be that way anymore. Could he totally change? Who
was to say, but Finn wanted to at least give the guy a chance
for Rey's sake. Finn had changed, and so had others he had met,
so why not Ben too? All the stories he had heard about Luke
Skywalker and Darth Vader... surely there was good in Ben.
Surely he had the potential to change his life around.
Finn stepped up as soon as Ben did, looking ready to strike at
Poe. He noticed Rey grabbing Ben's fist, and Finn felt at least
a little relieved. Nothing would happen as long as they were
there, he hoped, but while Ben didn't lash out physically, he
did verbally, using what Finn knew to be Poe's insecurities
against him. It made Finn wonder if Ben was using the Force to
probe at Poe's mind, but he tried his best to not consider it
too strongly. He was trying to give the guy the benefit of the
doubt, but he was still angry. Much like Poe shouldn't have said
the things he said, Ben shouldn't have either. They were both
completely in the wrong, and Finn didn't want to stick around to
see what else would unfold. More than enough had already been
said.
Finn wanted to call Ben out, but he knew it would be best to
just go, so that's what he did, grabbing Poe and taking him with
him. He could tell that Poe already regretted his actions, which
was good, but it didn't change the fact that he had screwed up
big time. He pulled them to a private area, asking Poe what he
had been thinking, to which Poe tried to use humor to defuse the
whole situation. Finn wasn't amused though, crossing his arms,
unamused by Poe's question. Now definitely wasn't the time for
jokes, and he knew that Poe knew that.
Poe's grin fell, and he apologized, kissing his temple
repeatedly as he hugged him, causing Finn's heart to swell. He
knew Poe was sorry, he really, really did, and Poe went on to
call himself stupid, saying that Ben had been right about Leia
choosing wrong and apologizing for supposedly ruining his day
off. Finn's gaze softened, and he sighed again, taking Poe's
face in his hands. "Okay, you are not stupid," Finn told him,
looking Poe in the eyes. "And Leia did not choose wrong. You're
an amazing man, Poe Dameron, and there is no one else in the
whole galaxy like you," he said, kissing Poe's lips. "You are
smart." Kiss. "Caring." Another kiss. "And more than qualified
for this position," he insisted. "You helped save the galaxy,
Poe. Many times, and you're still doing it now. I saw you today
in that meeting, not caring what the admiral or others had to
say and making the right choice. Thanks to you, the people that
need help are getting it, and the galaxy is recovering from
war." Finn stroked Poe's cheek, smiling at him. "You're the best
man I know, and nothing is going to change that. Even if you do
stupid things sometimes," he added, kissing Poe once more.
He let the kiss linger, hating seeing Poe loose his confidence
in such away. But, there were still things that needed to be
discussed. "You did not ruin my evening, but I'm also not the
one you should be apologizing to," he told his love, hands
sliding down to his shoulders. "I know what Re-Ben said to you
was terrible too, but you gotta be the bigger man. You're the
face of the Resistance, and you can't let him get in your way,
alright?" Finn asked, hands continuing to slide down Poe's arms
until he was holding both his hands in his own.
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Miles smiled when Sirah said they should listen to him next time
they run. It was nice to have someone value his ideas and
opinions. On Nubia, everything was always expected to be done a
certain way each time. There was little room for much
creativity, and almost all of Miles' ideas had been shot down.
Here though on Naboo, around people closer to his age and
learning to become a Jedi, he felt like he could be at least a
little more creative and express his ideas more openly without
the fear of having them so quickly dismissed. Even if his idea
was just to run home instead of running to go meditate. Small
steps, he supposed.
Sirah admitted that she was learning to be more prepared,
telling him that he should hold onto that skill. He nodded,
completely intending to. Being prepared always helped for any
situation, but, of course, he knew there would be plenty of
times in his life where he'd have to compromise as well. He'd
just have to be sure that in those moments of compromise that he
didn't try to overthink everything and hold himself back like he
tended to do. Sirah, however, apparently didn't see herself as
capable of being so prepared for things, and Miles shook his
head. "Anyone can have that skill. You just gotta slow down
every once and awhile," Miles told her as they prepared to climb
the cliff.
The cliff, thankfully, wasn't as bad as Miles had feared, and SP
even came out to climb some of it, making it to the top before
either of them. "Showoff," Miles mumbled, following Sirah until
they were both at the top, finally reaching their goal. He
rejoiced, and Sirah said that they made it because they were
Jedi, Miles laughing in response. "Well, not yet, but hopefully
soon. Once I reach the level of Jedi Knight, I might just leave
it there," he admitted, thinking about his future. He knew that
he did truly want to be a Jedi. He would never waste the gifts
he had been given, but that was why he didn't want to just be a
Jedi. Miles wanted to do as much as he could with his life, and
building droids had always been his biggest passion.
Miles grabbed his bag, offering Sirah some food, which she
accepted, saying she wanted jerky. He obliged, handing her a
couple of strips before grabbing himself a quick-meal pack. He
hadn't eaten anything all day, and all the running and climbing
he had been doing on an empty stomach wasn't good for his own
health. He wanted to be nice and full and rested before he began
meditating and training.
Sirah thanked him for coming, insisting that she could have gone
alone, but was glad that she didn't. Miles chuckled, and SP came
scurrying over, crawling into his bag to explore. "It's no
problem," he told her, eating some nuts. "Anytime you need a
buddy for anything, I'll be around," he promised with a smile,
leaning back on a hand and staring out into Naboo. "This place
is so beautiful," he said, making conversation. "I used to come
here to make deliveries, but I never got to stay long. I
honestly wouldn't mind settling down on a planet like this. Have
you gotten to travel a lot?" he asked, not really knowing a
whole lot about Sirah's upbringing, if he was being honest. He
had been pretty shy when he had first arrived for Jedi training.
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kam lig nascar[/center]
#Post#: 345--------------------------------------------------
12: rey & poe & sirah & rickon
By: winterssmary Date: January 17, 2020, 3:17 am
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In most situations, Rey would have been confident that she could
calm Ben relatively quickly. He had been putting forth
legitimate effort -- and making tremendous strides -- when it
came to controlling his temper. His anger was something he
struggled with, something he would likely struggle with for the
rest of his life. But he was doing so much better as of late.
Typically, she could diffuse a situation with minimal contact,
sometimes just by saying his name to pull him back to reality.
But this time was different. This wasn't any normal, passing
anger Ben was feeling. His very character was being called into
question, painful memories being brought to the surface. His
qualifications as a teacher were being mocked. The things that
made him the most vulnerable were being thrown in his face, used
to hurt him. Poe was going to pay for this, one way or another.
This rage was beyond anything she'd felt in Ben since the war
and it worried her.
His anger was building, yet she still acknowledge Rey -- barely
-- when she whispered to him. He loosened his grip on her,
slightly, and she let out a breath at the relief. She liked
being close to Ben, but not being squeezed like that. He looked
away from her once her hands found his hair. But the tension
didn't die. In fact, it seemed to only grow from there. She
couldn't remember feeling this helpless, like a situation was
completely out of her control and there was nothing she could do
about it. But, at this point, she realized just how useless her
attempts were at helping anything. She was so used to being able
to fix situations. She'd been doing it since she left Jakku. But
this, a stupid, mundane argument between Ben and Poe, threatened
that ideal she had about herself. Ben seemed to be lost in his
own thought, stewing in his anger. Poe was completely ignoring
Rey as she rushed to her boyfriend's defense. Everything was
going horribly.
Rey could sense a shift in Ben only once Poe reacted to having a
threat of actual, physical violence. For a moment, Rey truly
worried that Ben would punch the man. She wouldn't have it.
Luckily, Ben stopped himself. Rey held his fist in her hands,
paranoid that he'd swing if he got the chance. Finn stepped in
front of Poe. Ben was still angry, still fearful. She could
sense that. But she also sensed a mounting guilty within him.
She was relieved to find that he didn't get satisfaction out of
the other man's fear, that there was no pride welling in him.
She always believed that he'd left that man behind, the one who
fed off the fear and pain of others. However, she could never be
too sure. It was a constant struggle to be better, to avoid the
dark side. Ben was doing excellent and this moment, despite the
circumstances that said otherwise, was proof of it. Even if just
a little. But then, of course, he jumped in with the hateful
remarks and went back to exploiting some of Poe's greatest
insecurities.
Rey watched as both Poe and Ben fought to keep from saying other
things, glad that they both dropped it after devastating one
another enough with their earlier comments. Finn and Poe left,
probably to go talk about the incident. Poe was in trouble. Big
trouble. And poor Finn was going to have to deal with the
aftermath. But now she had to deal with Ben's aftermath, which
she was assuming would involve a lot of shouting. He needed to
vent his anger. If she was careful about this, gentle with him,
it would be hard to watch, but relatively painless. He was
entitled to his emotions and he had a right to vent his
frustration. He avoided looking at her for a while, which was
painful to endure. She knew he wasn't angry with her and he
wasn't doing it to hurt her, but she hated feeling shut out like
this.
They stopped in an alley, a relatively private location. After a
few moments of Ben still avoiding eye contact, he eventually
looked at her, but kept quiet while she spoke to him, touching
him gently. She could sense that he was growing frustrated,
upset. There was a pain in him that she hated feeling. The whole
point of this was to keep him from getting more frustrated, but
it seemed to be doing the exact opposite. Or, maybe it all had
to build up so he could let it out. It wasn't always healthy --
and was often horrifying to witness -- but sometimes, Ben simply
had to throw a temper tantrum in order to feel better. If he
just ignored his anger, tried to fight it, things would only get
worse in time. He put his hands on his hips. She braced herself
for what was next, knowing he wouldn't lay a hand on her in
anger, but sure she wasn't going to like anything he did in the
next few moments.
He pulled away from her and she gritted her teeth in response.
Ben finally spoke, shouting before throwing his fist into a
wall. Rey cringed holding her hand over her mouth. The tears
that threatened to fall earlier were now lightly streaming down
her face. She wasn't sobbing. She didn't even want to say she
was crying. She made no sound. There just happened to be a few
tears running down her cheeks now. It hurt her deeply to see him
like this, hurting himself. This was a side of him that she
worried about a lot, that she actively tried to avoid. But there
was no avoiding it right now. Poe had caused a chain reaction
and the only way out was through. Ben paced around the alley,
ranting and venting just like she knew he would. He was yelling,
screaming about how he'd changed, about how the galaxy's love
for Poe was unwarranted. She knew he didn't want any real
answers, so she just stayed silent, one hand over her mouth and
the other wrapped across her waist. She was tense, trying to
avoid moving at all. This whole day just beyond stressful and
she could feel the anxiety rising in her. She quelled it as best
as she could, clenching her jaw and tensing every muscle she
could to keep from shaking.
He finally looked over to her again, his rant slowing down as he
simply stated that he was trying. She could sense his defeat,
like the fire in him was finally starting to dwindle. It was
difficult, but it was only a few moments. Rey could endure that
easily. She dropped her hand from her mouth and tried to relax
her muscles as best as she could. It wasn't working too well. "I
know, my love. I know," she said, rushing over to him and
wrapping her arms around his neck. "And you're making wonderful
progress," she added, burying her face in his collarbone. "He
pushed you, said horrible, horrible things and you have every
right to your anger," she said quietly, stroking his hair while
she hugged him. "And even if you lost yourself for a moment, I
know who you are, Ben Solo." She kissed his neck. "You're a
brave and loving man, one with a gentle truly gentle heart," she
said. "You're the thing I love most in all the galaxy." She
pulled away slightly so that she could look up at him, caressing
his face once more. "I know you're angry and I know you're
hurting, but you need to know that Poe was wrong. You are not
who he thinks he is. You're a good man."
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Finn crossed his arms at Poe's stupid attempt at humor and his
grin fell. Bad timing, moron. He should have just kept his mouth
shut. He should have just behaved and this whole thing would be
better. Finn would be having a better day. Rey would be having
fun with her pet psychopath, and Poe wouldn't be so angry with
himself. It wasn't often that he was burdened with his own
guilt. He was generally light-hearted, accepting, and happy. He
typically had confidence to spare, no real reason to hate
himself like he did then. But he ruined Finn's day. He over
complicated a situation for no reason other than to annoy a guy
he didn't like. He didn't have to do that. He could have been
mature. He was capable of being mature -- sometimes. Why didn't
he just act like an adult? No wonder Finn was mad at him. No
wonder Ren felt compelled to bring Leia into the whole debate.
She would have hated his actions. She would have yelled at him.
He let her down. He let everyone down.
But, after they separated from their hug, Finn looked less
angry, taking Poe's face in his hands. This was confusing, he
thought. He said that he wasn't stupid, which made Poe scoff.
Yeah, he was stupid. He was an actual idiot in a lot of ways,
but especially after provoking a murderer. In public. He smiled
when Finn spoke, though it didn't reach his eyes. He knew his
boyfriend was just trying to make him feel better, but he didn't
know how to feel better. "You mean no one dumb enough to provoke
a war criminal," he said with a dry laugh. Finn kissed him
before he could say something else, listing off a few of his
good qualities and kissing him in between words. Poe was upset,
guilt-ridden. Yet he did feel himself relaxing a bit with each
kiss. His gaze softened as Finn went on, talking about his
performance at the meeting earlier today. He stroked his cheek
and Poe sighed, relieved at this. He said that Poe was the best
man he knew, kissing him again. "Why are you being so sweet?
You're supposed to be mad at me," he laughed once they pulled
away.
Finn then said that he wasn't the one Poe should be apologizing
to, and the man cringed. He already knew what Finn was going to
say. And he knew that he wasn't wrong. He let the man's hands
slide down his shoulders, eventually going all the way down
until they were holding each others hands. He cursed. "I hate it
when you're right," he said with a sigh. "Look, I know I got
carried away, okay? I wasn't even thinking. I just said things.
I'm so used to just saying whatever pops into my mind," he
admitted. "I just... I just got mad," he said, not knowing what
else to say. "And I know that doesn't justify anything, but I
don't know where to go from here. I did everything I wasn't
supposed to do. I provoked an attack when I should have just
been defending my base," he said, knowing that tactical talk was
the easiest way for him to convey his feelings sometimes.
"I know I say stupid things and I lose my common sense
sometimes, but I'm definitely in my right mind when I say that I
love you," he said, offering a weak smile to his boyfriend
before kissing him tenderly. "You're the one who got caught in
the crossfire, but you still chose to take care of me," he said,
wrapping his arms around him. "Thank you, Finn. You really are
the best thing I have."
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She watched as Miles smiled when Sirah said they should listen
to him more and she wondered if he didn't have that a lot on his
home planet. She didn't know much of anything about where he
came from and how he was raised. She really only knew that he
built droids his whole life and he was somehow still okay with
that. Like, he liked it. It didn't make much sense to her. She
couldn't imagine doing the same thing over and over again until
she died. It would break her. But to each their own, she
guessed. If building droids made him happy that was a good thing
and he shouldn't give up on that. She just hoped that he wasn't
lying to himself, that he was only pretending to enjoy it
because he was good at it. That would be a real shame. He also
briefly said that anyone could be better prepared if they just
slowed down and Sirah laughed in response. She couldn't see a
future where she slowed down. She'd be old and decrepit and
still trying to do backflips from rooftops.
While climbing, she noticed that SP had sprung himself free from
Miles' pocket, effortlessly scaling the wall and beating them
both to the top. She didn't expect the droid to be able to pull
it off. He was so small, he had much more ground to cover. But
she supposed the little robotic legs that can't get tired
probably helped. She rolled her eyes at the droid, eventually
pulling herself onto the top, Miles close behind. He seemed
really excited to have made it all the way up there, as if it
was a surprise or something. Maybe it was to him. Maybe he had
so little faith in himself that he didn't expect to be able to
scale a cliff. Or, maybe he was just tired and relieved to be
able to lay on the grass for a moment. She was banking on the
latter, but she couldn't be too sure.
He corrected her. Technically, they weren't Jedi. They were just
padawan learners. But they were moving through their training
pretty quickly, she supposed. She'd refer to herself as a Jedi
regardless of the proper title. "You're technically right, but
I'm still gonna call us Jedi," she said. Then he casually tacked
on that he might just stop after earning the rank of Jedi
Knight, which made her raise an eyebrow. "Wait, seriously?" she
asked. She didn't understand that at all. He was gifted with
this amazing connection to the Force. Why would he stop at just
being a Jedi? "You don't want to go beyond that at all?" she
asked. Of course, she knew he didn't have the same blind
ambition that she did. He didn't have the weird lust for power.
He was much happier living a relatively normal life.
She bit into her jerky again, watching as SP ran over to the
pair and jumped into Miles' bag. Miles smiled at her, saying
that he'd always spend time with her if she ever needed a
friend. She smiled in response. That was an unusual thing for
her. Back home, she didn't have many friends. Everyone there was
trying to step on someone else in order to either earn their
freedom early or get the easier jobs. Having someone here that
had her back -- someone other than Master Solo -- was nice.
"Yeah, you too," she said, playfully punching him on the
shoulder to immediately kill off the vulnerability she felt.
Miles then looked out to the Naboo scenery, something Sirah
hadn't been paying too much attention to, admittedly. He said it
was beautiful and she couldn't help but agree. The rolling hills
and thick, lush greenery was more than she'd ever seen in her
life. "It is," she said. Miles said that he'd been here before,
but only briefly on deliveries. He then said that he wouldn't
mind settling down on Naboo. Or, at least, some place like it.
"I can't imagine settling down anywhere," she admitted. "Don't
get me wrong, it's really pretty here, but staying in one place
doesn't sound fun to me," she added. She shook her head when
Miles asked if she had traveled a lot. "No. Slaves weren't
allowed to leave the planet. I never even got to explore other
continents on Riosa," she said. "But I'm free and they can't do
anything to me, so now I can go wherever I want. If I ever learn
to fly, that is," she said. "Have you been anywhere else that's
nice? You know, on deliveries and stuff?"
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das wass[/center]
#Post#: 346--------------------------------------------------
[12] BEN┃FINN┃MILES┃KYA
By: Zellaphone Date: January 17, 2020, 7:36 pm
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Ben hadn't been expecting any of this to happen. He had expected
their evening off that he had suggested to be relaxing and
carefree. Sure, he had worried about going into the city, but
not because he had thought that they would run into Poe Dameron.
Even when they had run into Poe Dameron he didn't think things
would escalate in the way that they did, but they had. So
quickly their perfect evening had become a disaster, and Ben
blamed it mostly on Poe. He was no fool, however, he knew he too
was partially to blame. He didn't have to say the things that he
said or do the thing he did, but he did anyways. When he was
angry, it was like he was no longer in control of himself.
Rey had taken him to an alleyway to get away from the public's
eye, and while he was nothing but grateful for all she had been
doing, his anger would not vanish. The fact it had been Poe, the
man that his mother had valued so highly, that had said those
things to him, made matters more worse than they probably could
have been. He already resented the man so greatly. He knew that
Poe thought of his mother as his own, but Poe had had another
mother. He had had one of his own who had loved him and he had
loved in return, but it had apparently not been enough. His
mother had always been too busy for him, but seemingly never
busy for him, and then she had left him. He had already forgiven
her for everything, because he knew she had just been trying to
do what she thought was best for him, but he couldn't get over
his jealousy of Poe. Her love for him when he had needed her
most was something that would probably always eat away at him.
If she had just tried to speak to him... if she had just reached
out to him before... maybe things could have been different, but
instead she had spent her time with him.
Ben started to vent, shouting and yelling and punching walls,
having to do something to release his anger. He didn't like it
when he got this way, and he knew no one else did either, but he
didn't know what else to do. He had never been properly taught
how to deal with his feelings. He had either been told to
repress them or use them, never how to control them, and he felt
more than anyone he had ever met. As he yelled, he didn't notice
Rey crying behind him, focusing too much on his frustrations and
what Poe had said to him, insisting he was different than how he
used to be, but proving himself wrong at the same time. He kept
repeating that he was trying to change though, finally facing
Rey yet again. He froze when he saw her look of hurt, cheeks
stained with tears, hand over her lips.
Rey rushed over to him, telling him that she knew he was trying
as she wrapped her arms around him, assuring him that he was
making progress. While he knew that to be true, he didn't feel
like he was making enough progress. He had refrained from
hitting Poe, but he had still attacked him with words, tearing
away at him like he had done with Rey before. While he had known
her abandonment problems were her greatest target, his own
mother was Poe's, and he had used that without a second thought.
Rey reminded him that Poe had pushed him though, saying horrible
things himself that gave Ben the right to be angry. Yes, he
should feel this anger, and he let out a quiet sigh of relief at
those words, wrapping his arms around Rey's waist as she touched
him. She told him that even though he had momentarily lost
himself, she knew him, kissing his neck. She went on, continuing
to speak kindly to him even though he had frightened her and
brought her to tears. Ben couldn't remember the last time he had
brought tears to her eyes. There was after he had saved her
life, using his lifeforce to bring her back, but before that, he
had only brought her to tears by hurting her. He had hurt her
so, so much, and now he was doing it again.
Rey called him brave and loving and told him that he had a
gentle heart, but it was hard believing any of it when he
thought about the fear he had sensed in her and the pain. Then
she told him that he was the thing she loved most in the galaxy,
and Ben could feel moisture in his own eyes as she leaned back
and looked at him, touching his face so gently. She agreed that
Poe had been wrong, and that he wasn't who Poe thought he was,
calling him a good man. Ben couldn't hold back his smile despite
the sadness he was feeling and guilt, as well as relief. Rey was
always too kind to him, never giving up on him and always
convincing him that he was better than he thought. Carefully, he
wiped at her wet cheeks, trying his best to dry the tears he had
so selfishly caused.
"Rey..." he whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead, down
her nose, across her cheek and to her ear. "I'm sorry I caused
this pain in you," he told her, kissing the shell of her ear. "I
know I have changed, but I know it hasn't been enough. I still
invoke fear... I still cause pain," Ben said, kissing down her
neck, trying to ease the hurt she felt as he caressed her back.
"I resorted to my old ways in a moment of weakness," he
admitted, although he knew that that much had been obvious. "He
hurt me so I prayed upon him... and I ended up frightening you
and hurting you as well."
Ben kissed back up Rey's neck, meeting her eyes again, tears
still threatening to spill from his own as his hands slid back
to his hips. "Rey, please know that I did not mean for any of
this to happen," he said quietly. "You are the one thing in this
galaxy that I would do anything for. I love you unlike I've ever
loved anyone, and I truly belong to you and only you. You
complete me, Rey. Please understand that I never wished to hurt
you," Ben told her, cupping her face in his hand. "I was
weakened by Dameron's words and showed that weakness by acting
upon my anger. I shouldn't have stooped to his level like I did,
even if I perhaps meant what I said. I'm supposed to be better
than that." Ben glanced at his hand and noticed the blood on his
knuckles, yet another piece of evidence that proved his
weakness. He couldn't even keep from hurting himself. Despite
all of Rey's words, he didn't feel like the good man she thought
he was.
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Finn did his best to cheer Poe up, but Poe didn't seem to
believe everything he was saying and always had something to say
himself. Sometimes the best thing Finn could do was just kiss
the man and try and get him to shut up. It was sometimes
effective, and thankfully in this case, it was. Yeah, Poe had
acted stupidly, provoking a man who used to kill without a care,
saying stuff he didn't really know anything about, but that
didn't mean that Poe himself was stupid. Everyone did stupid
things sometimes... Poe just seemed to do them maybe a bit more
than others he knew, but Finn loved him anyways.
Poe asked why he was being so sweet to him, stating that he was
supposed to be angry. Finn chuckled, kissing Poe yet again. "I
am angry," Finn assured him, knowing that he wasn't going to let
him get away with what he'd done that easily. "But I also love
you, idiot," he laughed along with Poe, running a hand through
the other man's hair. He didn't want Poe thinking that he was
only angry at him though. Finn was pretty angry with Ben as
well, as he should be. While Poe had said some bad things, Ben
didn't hold back with his words at all, and made it clear that
he didn't know Poe one bit. Finn wondered if Rey would defend
Poe at all when talking to Ben. He just wondered how talking to
Ben would go at all. The man had obviously been very angry when
they left, and Finn had never seen anything good come from that
man when he was angry. He hated to think it, but he hoped Rey
was okay.
Finn explained to Poe that it wasn't him he needed to be sorry
to, and Poe cursed, admitting that he was right. "I know I am,"
said Finn confidently before letting Poe continue. His boyfriend
explained that he had gotten carried away without thinking. He
used tactical terms, as he frequently did, to explain the
situation, and Finn nodded. "I know you did, and I know that you
did have reason to be upset. More so after everything Ben said,
but before so too. He isn't the friendliest guy around," he
said, giving Poe's hands a squeeze. "You were both in the wrong,
but... I know it's not easy for you to see him after all he has
done."
Poe finally smiled again, even if it was weak, telling Finn that
he loved him before kissing him softly. He seemed a little
surprised that Finn had been so caring towards him after the
whole blowout, and wrapped his arms around Poe after he wrapped
his arms around him. "Of course I took care of you. You're the
best thing I have too," he assured him with a smile, cupping the
back of Poe's neck and stroking his hair with his thumb. "I
wouldn't have any of this if it weren't for you. Not even a real
name," he reminded the other man. "You've literally given me
everything... the least I can do is give something back," he
told him, meeting Poe's lips yet again to kiss him lovingly,
glad that no one else could see them. He only broke away when he
had to catch his breath, smiling like a lovesick moron, which he
was.
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Miles laughed when Sirah said that even though she knew he was
right about them not technically being Jedi, she was still going
to call them as much. He didn't expect any less from her, and it
brought a weird sense of joy to him to hear her say it. She
never let others get in her way, and Miles found it admirable.
She did, however, seem very surprised when Miles admitted that
he didn't really care about reaching any rank higher than Jedi
Knight. He shrugged at her question, tugging at some weeds. "I
know I'm still young, but I had already kinda figured out what I
wanted to do with my future before Master Skywalker and Master
Solo showed up on Nubia," he said. "I knew I had abilities by
then, but I was a droid builder, and that was all I ever really
wanted to be," he went on to explain. "I don't want to waste
these powers I have been given, especially since I can use them
to protect people, but I also don't want to throw away the plans
I had either. I want to be able to do both."
When Sirah thanked him for coming, and Miles insisted that it
was no problem, telling her that he would always be willing to
join her for anything, she acted a little awkward. She returned
the sentiment, punching him lightly in the shoulder and making
him chuckle. If he had to guess, she probably didn't get told
things like that very often, and it was a little sad to him. He
didn't know much about her upbringing or what kind of friends
she had had before, but he wanted to try and be the best kind of
friend he could to her. He liked her, he really did. She was
tough, but also very kind, and Miles sensed a great deal of good
within her.
Miles changed the subject to talk about Naboo and ask about
Sirah's travel life. She told him that she couldn't really
picture settling down in one place, which he guessed was fair,
nodding when she said that it didn't sound fun to her. There was
a whole galaxy out there to explore. He didn't blame her for not
wanting to stay in one place. She then went on to reveal that
she hadn't traveled much because she had been a slave. Miles'
eyes left the Naboo skyline to look to her, surprised to hear of
her upbringing. If he had known, he never would have asked if
she had traveled. That had been pretty rude of him, but he
didn't know. He couldn't even begin to imagine what her life had
been like, but she didn't look particularly bothered, saying
that she was free now to do whatever she wanted and go wherever
she liked, as soon as she learned how to fly. "I could teach
you," he quickly offered, smiling. "I have my ship here, and
it's not as hard as it looks," he assured her, willing to help
in any way he could to help Sirah fulfill her dreams. She
deserved to live a life of her own choosing.
Sirah asked if he had been anywhere else nice while on
deliveries, and Miles nodded. "Oh yeah. I've been lucky enough
to go to many places thanks to my old job," he admitted, eating
a bit of meat. "Coruscant is beautiful. Bespin as well. There's
so many beautiful planets out there," he said fondly,
reminiscing. "But... I've seen some of the worst as well," he
admitted, looking down at his own lap, smile fading. "We sold
droids to all people, including the First Order. I'm not proud
of it now, but back then, business had just been business. It
didn't make me oblivious though. I could tell when a place
wasn't quite right. I didn't even have to see anything... I
could just... feel it."
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Yousa shouldn't be mad dat mesa fucked her! Yousa should be mad
dat mesa had a toba with her![/center]
#Post#: 347--------------------------------------------------
13: rey & poe & sirah & rickon
By: winterssmary Date: January 18, 2020, 1:29 am
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Ben was in a world of his own for a while. It was uncomfortable
to watch, painful to hear his inner dialogue. The worst part,
though, was watching the man she loved throw his fist into a
wall. No matter how minor his physical pain may have been, Rey
couldn't unsee the damage he was doing to himself. She couldn't
ignore the lack of care for his own well-being. Did he truly not
value himself at all? She knew he had issues with reconciling
his past, with seeing himself as anything good. But he genuinely
didn't care if he was hurt. He didn't care that he could have
easily broken his hand -- or his wrist -- when he plunged his
fist into the stone. She knew it was likely trivial for her to
worry about this. Ben was strong. He'd been impaled -- by her,
no less -- and scarred and beaten so many times. A punch wasn't
going to affect him, realistically. But it was the principle,
the sensation behind it that bothered her, that hurt her.
He was never taught how to handle his emotions. Rey had known
this for a while. His anger had been stoked since he was a child
by the Sith. After being mistreated by his uncle and practically
exiled by the Jedi -- simply for having conflict -- he fled to
the same people that fed on his pain. He was one of the mostly
deeply passionate people in the world, someone who felt things
on such a profound and deep level. It came with great
advantages. When he was happy, he was elated. When he loved
something, he loved it. But it had it's downsides as well. He
felt his anger, his fear, his pain more richly than anyone else.
This was all he knew how to do, she understood. It didn't make
it right. It didn't justify how he was acting and it certainly
didn't change how she felt about it. But she knew this would
happen. She knew she couldn't do anything to fix it. He was
getting better. There was no lightsaber present. Nothing was
destroyed. Well, physically, nothing was destroyed. Their
evening was destroyed. At least, the hopes of it being perfectly
peaceful, anyway. She couldn't remedy the situation. Neither of
them could. But she should do her best to salvage anything she
could.
She noticed how Ben tensed when he finally turned to see her.
She had hoped she was good enough at concealing her tears to
keep him from noticing, but she was wrong, apparently. It was
obviously impacting him and she felt horrible about it. He felt
bed enough. He didn't need another thing to blame himself for.
She'd have to just try harder to hide her feelings, to quell any
sense of pain or sadness she felt at this situation. She wrapped
her arms around him, speaking her truth in an attempt to comfort
him. To make him feel even a little bit better about himself. To
make him realize that he didn't deserve to be hurt. After
speaking for a moment, telling him that his anger was valid, she
heard him sigh before he wrapped his arms around her.
She told him how she saw him: as someone truly wonderful and
admirable. He was a soft man. He definitely didn't seem that way
on the surface, but Rey knew this to be an unavoidable truth of
Ben Solo. He was tender, a poetic soul. He simply could not cope
with his own emotions in an affective way. In another life, he
would have made a wonderful storyteller or poet. Perhaps a
musician, and artist. He was an empathetic and loving teacher,
excellent with young people, despite all odds. And she knew him
well enough to know that, if it ever came to it, Ben would be a
wonderful father. Rey never thought about her future in terms of
children. She knew she would be with Ben until the day she died.
That was a certainty. Their connection was a permanent fixture.
She was unsure as to whether or not she even wanted children. If
you would have asked her several years ago, she likely would
have said yes. She always wanted a family, a sense of belonging.
But with her life being the way it was now, she wasn't so sure.
She did know, however, the Ben would be an amazing father, a
just and loving protector. He'd likely never know just how
highly Rey thought of him, no matter how many times she told
him.
When she looked up at him, she noticed the tears pooling in his
eyes. She gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Don't cry, love," she
said, her hand moving up his face. The tears didn't fall. There
was nothing for her to wipe away. She lightly brushed the back
of her hand against his cheek instead, hoping the gentle touches
were helpful now that he was starting to calm down. He smiled
down at her and she felt herself relax a little at the sight.
His hand touched her cheek, wiping away at her tears. Her smile
became much more genuine at the action. She kissed his palm as
soon as she got the chance.
She felt her entire body relax when he said her name, such a
calm tenderness to the whisper. He peppered her face with kisses
and apologized for causing her pain. She sighed at the comment.
Sure, she was hurting, but she wasn't really concerned with
that. He was the one who punched a wall, who didn't care enough
about himself to treat his body with respect. "You hurt
yourself, Ben," she said, voice cracking slightly before she
recovered her composure. He kissed her ear. She closed her eyes
when he said he hadn't done well enough, that people were still
afraid of him and he caused pain. "Ben," she tried quietly
before she felt his lips travel down her neck, silencing her.
She didn't like that he blamed his actions on weakness. He
wasn't weak. He hadn't been weak when he reacted the way he did.
She hated that he could even begin to think of himself as weak.
He fought more of his own personal demons that anyone she'd ever
met. He survived more hardship and trauma than she could even
imagine. Ben was the strongest person she knew. But she was a
little too distracted by his words -- and the sensation of his
kissed -- to respond in an intelligent way. He admitted that he
scared her, that he hurt her. She couldn't deny that, but she
didn't want to confirm it either.
His lips traveled up her neck again, eventually finally breaking
away from her skin. He took his hands off of her, eyes still
moist with tears that threatened to fall at any moment. He
explained that he didn't mean for any of this to happen, that he
loved her more than anything and that he never wanted to hurt
her. "I know you didn't," she said, feeling his hand cup her
face again. "I know you'd never hurt me," she added softly. Then
he started talking about weakness again, saying that it's what
drove him to hurting Poe in response. "Stop saying you're weak.
You're not weak," she said. "Calling yourself weak for feeling
is so... inhuman," she said. She knew that a lot of that, the
obsession with his own 'weakness,' came from his Sith training
with Snoke. It would likely forever be a part of him. "You are
better than that," she added.
She was about to hold his face again, but instead followed his
eyes when he glanced at his hand. She was now seeing that his
knuckles were bloody. She knew they'd be bruised by the time
they woke up in the morning. She let out a pained sigh at the
sight, clenching her jaw for a moment. She carefully reached for
his bloodied hand, bringing it to her lips and gently kissing
it. "Don't hurt yourself like this again," she said softly. "You
have a right to be angry and upset but you don't have a right
to... to punish yourself like that," she added. "I love you with
my whole heart, Ben, so please, please don't do this again," she
said, holding his bloodied hand up to reference what she meant.
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Finn kept kissing him, which was nice. He knew how to shut Poe
up and he was damn good at it. It usually worked out pretty well
when Finn did this, even if Poe wanted to keep talking. Well, he
didn't really want to talk. He just felt oddly compelled to. All
the time. He wasn't sure where he got it from, but being a
fast-talking, kinda obnoxious person seemed to be in his blood.
Even when he had nothing to say, he had something to say. It
used to get him in trouble a lot. Then he got better about it.
Until he didn't. This was one of those times. But Finn was good
at keeping him in line. Usually. And this was a prime example.
No one quite shut him up the way Finn could. Except maybe Leia,
but that was because of entirely different circumstances.
Finn chuckled, kissing him again. This was nice. But then he
assured Poe that he was, indeed, still angry. He frowned at
that. Sure, he literally asked for it, but now that Finn
admitted it, he didn't like it. It was perfectly warranted
though. He couldn't really complain. He sighed though, looking
at the ground. "That's fair," he muttered. Finn ran his hand
through Poe's hair, following up quickly with an 'I love you'.
And then, you know, 'idiot,' but he was ignoring that little
tidbit. "I love you too," he said, lifting his head up again. He
knew he made a mistake. A few, actually. He was grateful that,
despite being mad at him, Finn was still on his side. He'd
learned during the Battle on Exegol that he couldn't do things
alone. He needed to depend on the people he cared about. Finn
was definitely his number one, his greatest supporter.
Poe nodded enthusiastically when Finn said that Ren wasn't the
easiest person to be around. "Right?!" he asked, feeling totally
validated. He knew he overreacted earlier, since Ren didn't
really provoke him aside from his semi-rude implication that he
needed to leave. But he was a bad dude. He never even stood
trial for all the horrible things he did. Every other war
criminal faced some sort of punishment. Instead, Ren got to
sleep with with Rey and teach the next generation of space
wizards? It was a terrible idea. Finn sympathized with him,
saying he knew how hard it was to face Ren like this. "Thank you
for understanding," he said, calming down a little bit. "I know
I overreacted, but I just sorta... lost control for a second.
All I could see when I looked at him was the inside of that room
where he... you know," he said, not using the word 'torture'
explicitly. He knew Finn would catch on.
He grinned when Finn cupped the back of his head, feeling his
thumb run through his hair. Finn really was the most important
thing in Poe's life. His job and his missions were important,
sure. So was upholding the galactic peace. But then there was
Finn. He was special. His smile softened when Finn explained
that he only had what he did because of Poe. "I don't know if
that's true," he said. "You were gonna do great things with or
without me. But, you know, I did name you," he said. He kissed
Finn back, letting his lips linger on his boyfriend's for quite
a while. They were in private. Sorta. So what was the harm.
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She noted how Miles only shrugged, extremely nonchalant about
being nothing more than just a Jedi Knight. For some reason, she
couldn't fathom that. She couldn't imagine a life where she
wasn't constantly trying to make it to the next level. She knew
Miles was a different kind of person, but still. Why stop at
Jedi Knight when you can be a Master? He explained further. He
wanted to make droids? Forever? Wow. That was strange. She
supposed he really did just enjoy the work that much. If he was
passionate about something, that was wonderful and he absolutely
should follow it. It would just never make sense to her. "Oh,
okay," she said. "Well, if that'll make you happy, then go for
it," she said with a shrug. "I mean, SP turned out pretty great,
so you're definitely good at it," she added.
She saw how Miles looked over at her from the corner of her eye.
She didn't break contact with the horizon though. She just sorta
assumed he knew. She didn't exactly keep it a secret and slavery
was pretty common on the Outer Rim. Did she hate being enslaved?
Not be able to make her own choices without risk of violent
punishment? Absolutely. But was it really so jarring to think
about? Until recently, it was the only life she knew. And while
she knew it was wrong and she shouldn't have had to live like
that, it just wasn't that big of a deal to think about. At
least, not for her. She knew other people felt very, very
differently after they were freed. She never wanted to go back,
but the memories gave her strength and the motivation to keep
moving forward.
She smiled, finally looking at him when he said he could teach
her to fly. "You have a ship? Here? On Naboo?" she asked. She
knew Miles came prepared, but this was ridiculous. She supposed
it fit though. He did deliveries before being taken in by Master
Solo and Master Skywalker. He worked on droids for a living.
Something about that made Sirah think he probably knew a lot
about all kinds of machines. Of course he could fly. "That'd be
awesome," she said. "You know, I had never even been on a
starship until Master Solo and Master Skywalker freed me," she
said. "I always wanted to learn to fly but I never thought I'd
get the chance."
Miles explained that he'd been to all kinds of awesome places
during deliveries, mentioning Coruscant and Bespin by name. They
sounded nice. Coruscant was extremely urban, if she remembered
right. But lively instead of dusty like Riosa. She didn't know
much about a lot of the planets though. Her education was not
the best. The mood shifted when he continued though, saying he'd
seen a lot of the bad stuff too. Sirah didn't know that his
family used to be affiliated with the First Order. To be fair,
they were affiliated with everyone, but still. The information
was weird to hear. But it didn't change how she saw Miles. "I
mean, people had to do all kinds of crazy stuff just to keep
going during the war," she said with a shrug. "It doesn't mean
you're a sympathizer or anything," she added. "If we can have
Master Solo here, you're definitely in the clear."
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did yousa shu her???[/center]
#Post#: 348--------------------------------------------------
[13] BEN┃FINN┃MILES┃KYA
By: Zellaphone Date: January 18, 2020, 5:10 am
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Ben wished there was a way he could go back in time. He had
wanted such an ability for a long time, but now would have been
a great time to use it. He would go back and salvage their
evening - make it to where they had never ran into Poe Dameron.
Perhaps he would have even gone further to when they had been in
the Temple and just suggested to Rey that they stay in. They
could have spent the evening intertwined with one another, doing
whatever they wanted in the comfort of their own quarters. They
wouldn't have had to face judgement or harsh realities or be
reminded of their past transgressions. They could have shed
their layers, enjoyed a book, and fell asleep in each others
arms without a single worry or care. However, Ben did not have
such an ability, and things had gone quite differently.
Instead, Ben had lost himself, shouting, growling, and punching
a wall and injuring himself without taking any initial notice.
Now he and Rey both had tears in their eyes, both feeling hurt
and pain and regret. He knew he and Rey belonged together, but
it was moments like this that he wondered why the Force had
chosen him to be her other half. She was kind, gentle, and a ray
of light that filled him and everyone around her with warmth and
hope. He didn't feel like he was nearly good enough for her. He
had never even expected to get this far with her. When he had
saved her life on Exegol, he had been fully prepared to die,
even if he hadn't wanted to. He had never expected to make it,
seeing the love in Rey's eyes and feeling her lips against his
for the first time - something that he had craved for so long.
He didn't expect to come to Naboo with her and start a life with
her, falling asleep with her in his arms each night. He hadn't
expected it because he had accepted that it wasn't meant to be.
Fate had had different plans for him though, and now here he
was. And just like he had thought, he was only continuing to
hurt her.
Rey told him not to cry, brushing her hand against his cheek.
His lips twitched upwards into a fleeting smile, touched by her
never-ending kindness towards him. He was doing his best to not
let his tears fall. The last time he had actually cried had been
when he had saved Rey and lived, realizing that he could
actually have the chance of living a happy life, and maybe he
did deserve it after all. Those had been tears of joy, which
were the only kind of tears he ever wanted to experience again.
As for Rey's own tears, she smiled so beautifully as he wiped
them away, watching as she kissed his palm. She was so caring
and forgiving, and he had been nothing but selfish in return. He
should have listened to her warning when they had been with Poe
and just walked away. It was wrong of him to let Rey see him
like that.
Ben apologized to her, peppering her face with kisses and trying
to prove to her that he was still the man she loved, even if he
had reverted back to his old ways momentarily. Rey argued that
he had hurt himself, seeming more upset about that than anything
else, and the fact that he had called himself weak again. He was
relieved to hear that she knew that he wouldn't hurt her. IT was
the one thing he knew he wouldn't never do again intentionally.
She told him that calling himself weak for feeling was inhuman,
saying that he was better than that. But wasn't using one's
anger to hurt someone else weakness? Weren't you supposed to
deal with that anger yourself and spare others? Ben had been
taught so many conflicting ideas that he no longer knew which
one was true. Perhaps he was supposed to follow his own heart
and forge his own path like he had been with Rey. He had been
teaching the students that feeling was completely natural, and
that their feelings could be used to help them the right
decisions when they needed to. Maybe he hadn't been weak, but
simply foolish to use his emotions in such a way.
He glanced at his hand, finally taking notice of the blood on
his knuckles. Already the small wounds were beginning to clot,
but Rey saw them too, sighing in a way that broke his heart as
she kissed his beaten hand. Quietly, she told him not to hurt
himself again, saying that while he had the right to be angry,
he had no right to take it out on himself. She told him that she
loved him, and once again begged him not to hurt himself. "I...
hadn't even noticed," he admitted, brushing his fingers against
his own hand. "Forgive me, Rey," he said, placing the hand on
her back again and out of her sight. "I promise I will try
harder," he swore to her, brushing stands of her hair behind her
ear. "I can't keep making the same mistakes. You deserve a man
who is better than that," he went on, knowing his words to be
true, even if Rey didn't believe them.
Ben sighed, the tension in his body finally relaxing as he
leaned down, placing his forehead against the top of Rey's head.
"I'm sorry it all came to this. This was supposed to be a
peaceful evening, and now I fear we won't be able to enjoy it
like we were," he said, lightly grazing her jaw with his
fingers. "If you'll let me, I'd still like to take you on that
picnic I promised. We can get anything you'd like. Anything," he
assured her, hoping that his and Poe's actions hadn't completely
taken away any possibilities of salvaging their evening. "I'll
do whatever I can to make this all right again."
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✴xxxＦＩＮＮ xxx✴
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Finn was glad that he was one, if not the only, of the people
that could keep Poe in line. It was a useful position to have,
especially in moments like this, but even with all the kissing
and sweet words, Finn had to let Poe that he wasn't completely
off the hook. Yes, Ben was a difficult person to like for
obvious reasons, and he had said some pretty messed up things,
but Poe had also been completely out of line. It was never good
to remind someone that they used to be a mass murder when they
were trying to be the complete opposite. Now Ben would probably
be thinking of Poe's words during training tomorrow, and Finn
would more than likely have to endure being glared at the whole
time. He hated being stuck in the middle of stupid fights. It
was something that used to happen all the time with Rey and Poe,
and now there was Ben to worry about too.
Poe's face fell when Finn assured him that he was still angry,
but he perked up a little when they exchanged their love for one
another, and then perked up even more when Finn admitted that
Ben was a difficult guy to get along with. Finn laughed at his
enthusiasm, but he knew Poe just liked feeling like his feelings
were valid, which they were. They completely were. Finn wasn't
totally blind when it came to things. Ben was all smiles and
sweet words to Rey, but he could still be cold and intimidating
towards others. He knew some of the students he trained with
were wary of him, even if they knew he wouldn't hurt them. It
was hard to not be freaked out by the guy. His past aside, he
was a tall, well-built man that could easily take Finn out with
his fists alone. His eyes were dark and seemed to bore into your
very soul, and his long black hair only added to his whole
intimidating vibe.
Finn frowned when Poe admitted that he had lost control, unable
to not see the interrogation room on Starkiller Base and be
reminded of the torture he had endured when he looked and Ben.
While Finn had never experience such torture himself, he had
heard the screams... and he had seen the aftereffects. Poe had
been bleeding with Finn had rescued him, and had had trouble
standing. He couldn't bear to think about all Ben had done to
him. "I know, baby, I'm sorry," Finn said quietly, kissing him
gently. If only he had escaped with Poe sooner. Then we probably
wouldn't have had to go through as much. While Finn was trying
to give the man a second chance, he couldn't really understand
how Rey had forgiven him so easily after all that she had
endured from him as well.
Finn told Poe how much he loved him, explaining that he wouldn't
have any of the things he had now if it wasn't for him. That put
a grin back on his boyfriend's face, but he quickly disagreed,
saying that while he had given Finn his name, he knew he would
have done great things without him. They shared a kiss, the both
of them letting it go on for as long as they pleased, unable to
be seen by anyone else. "Nothing I would have done would have
been as great as all of this," Finn said once their lips parted,
running a hand up Poe's chest to rest it on his shoulder, still
cupping the back of his neck. "I can't even imagine not having
you in my life. There's so much I wouldn't have if I had never
met you," he assured him, unable to keep himself from quickly
pecking Poe's lips once again. As unfortunate as the
circumstances of their meeting was, he supposed he did have Ben
to thank for bringing them together. If he had never met Poe, he
had no idea when he would have been able to escape the First
Order, if ever, and he would have still been some coward,
running from himself and unaware of his abilities and potential.
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ＭＩＬＥＳ xxx✣xxx
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Sirah still didn't seem to get why Miles wanted to possibly stop
his Jedi training once he reached Jedi Knight, but he didn't
blame her. Really, he hadn't expected her, or anyone, to
understand. Everyone else he was training with, except maybe
Finn, seemed content on going as far as they could into becoming
Jedi, even if they knew they had other responsibilities, but
Miles just wasn't like that. Being a Jedi wasn't something he
had ever considered being, and even still struggled with it to
this day. He knew what he was good at and what he enjoyed, and
that is what he would rather pursue. She did, however, voice her
support, telling him that if droid building was what made him
happy, then he should go for it. Sirah then complimented his
work on SP, and Miles smiled, SP crawling back out of his bag at
the mention of his name and whirring happily. The droid did
enjoy compliments. "Thank you."
Sirah didn't seemed bothered as she talked about her upbringing,
appearing more interested in Miles' offer to teach her how to
fly. He nodded when she tried to confirm that he actually did
have a ship in Naboo. "Yeah, it's parked by the Falcon," he
said. He hadn't really been on it in awhile since he had a room
of his own and had moved all of his stuff into it, but it was
there, waiting for his next excursion. Sirah admitted that she
had never even flown until their masters had freed her, saying
that she had never thought that she'd even have the chance to
learn how to fly. "Well, if it's alright with Master Skywalker
and Master Solo, I can start teaching you whenever you'd like,"
he told her with a smile. "Then maybe someday you can get a ship
of your own. Till then, I'm more than willing to take you
anywhere you'd like. Or, you know, you're welcome to use it
yourself once you learn," he offered.
Miles had been a little cautious to mention that he and the rest
of his factory used to sell to the First Order. It was like
admitting that he had assisted in all the awful things he knew
they had done, whether he had known it or not. Back then, he
didn't know, and business had just been business. Now though, he
did know, and he wished he could take a few things back. Sirah
thankfully didn't act too affected by his confession, saying
that many people did whatever they could to get by during the
war, and that that didn't make him a sympathizer. She even added
that if they could have Master Solo around then he was
definitely alright. He chuckled at that briefly. "To be honest,
I still don't really know too much about all the things Master
Solo has done. Nubia doesn't really get involved with politics.
I just know that he used to lead the First Order, so I guess
you're right," he said, finishing up the last bit of his pack.
"Maybe whenever I return to Nubia, I can convince my family to
not be so lenient about who they're selling to. Maybe I can also
finally convince them to branch out as well. Just building one
droid model your whole life gets pretty boring," he admitted.
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ＫＹＡ xxx❇xxx
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Nooo! But shesa didn't hate mesa! Yousa hated mesa![/center]
#Post#: 349--------------------------------------------------
14: rey & poe & sirah & rickon
By: winterssmary Date: January 19, 2020, 5:42 am
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Of course she forgave him. She did without hesitation and she
always would. She didn't like some of the things he did. She
didn't like how he talked to Poe when they first arrived. She
didn't like how manipulative he was toward the General. She
didn't like how he nearly punched the man. She didn't like how
he actually punched a wall and bloodied his hand. But she loved
him. And she knew better than to believe he had any negative
intentions. It simply wasn't who he was anymore. To hold these
actions over his head would be terrible for his recovery. Guilt
was a motivator for change, but if there was too much of it,
it'd only bring out more fear, more anger, and more darkness. He
also didn't deserve to feel bad. He'd spent much of his life
feeling bad. He shouldn't have to endure anymore of it.
That was Rey's motivator to forgive so quickly, to move on from
the event entirely. She was also quick to accept Ben's offer of
a picnic. They could still save the day, she knew they could.
All they had to do was try to forget the ordeal. She'd have to
make a conscious effort to avoid looking at his hand, since she
knew the open wounds would effect her in some way and bring the
whole thing back to the surface. Instead, she made an effort to
distract herself as much as possible. First, she distracted
herself with the thought of food, exploring the different
varieties the marketplace had to offer. On Jakku, Rey relied on
nutrient packets to survive. She didn't have enough food to
sustain a healthy lifestyle, and the food was terrible. She grew
up with everything being flavorless. She knew that richer people
had better stuff, but she didn't get to experience it until much
later in life. However, after living on Naboo all this time,
she'd developed quite a taste for fruits and cheeses and
seasoned meats. She cultivated a decent meal out of fruits and
breads that she found in the market, accompanied by some of the
Shaak meat Ben wanted.
The couple traveled to the Lake Country relatively quickly,
eager to get on with the rest of the day. Rey would be lying if
she said it was a perfectly comfortable time. It was better,
definitely. But there was a certain heaviness in the air after
the argument in the marketplace. Ben was riddled with his own
guilt and Rey couldn't quite shake everything she saw. She was
trying, putting up a pretty solid front. But it was quieter than
she'd initially expected their time to be. Maybe that was a good
thing though. Quiet could have meant peace, or some form of
relaxation. The two had a talent of enjoying each other even
when they didn't speak, the mere presence of a soulmate being
more than enough to bring comfort and content. At least, that
was how Rey felt. Ben never stated any different, so she tended
to think they had the same ideas.
The two sat in the grass, Rey slipping off her sandals and
letting her bare feet onto the softness beneath them. Her toes
tangled with individual blades of green, slick and moist. IT was
a stark contrast from Jakku, where all they had was sand and
rock. She was taken aback by the brightness, the saturation of
the Naboo countryside. She was used to things being rather dull,
and no matter where her adventures with the Resistance took her,
she always found herself mesmerized by how lively the world
could be. She preferred this to the dull, muted colors of her
home planet. She found herself staring out, scanning the
terrain. There was grass, more trees than she could count, all
being serenaded by the powerful sound of the crystalline
waterfall at the edge of the clearing. She took a bite of her
muja fruit. "It's so beautiful here," she said quietly. After a
moment, looking at some brightly colored flowers she saw in the
distance, she wistfully gazed outward, leaning back on her hand.
"Do you think I've seen all the colors?" she asked casually.
She took another bite of her fruit, shifting upward and pulling
her knees to her chest. "I know I probably have, but it seems
like, everyday, I'm being shown something entirely new and
wonderful," she added. She wasn't even entirely sure an answer
was warranted. Maybe Ben didn't know what to tell her. "I just
spent so much time in one place, I truly have no idea what's out
there," she said. "The galaxy is so big and so diverse and so
beautiful and I defended it, but I feel like I haven't seen any
of it." At this point, she was just mindlessly rambling. She
didn't even think she had a point. She was just filling the
silence. Besides, it was better to say something like this than
to just comment on the beauty of the greenery over and over
again. "Sometimes, I want to explore. I want to go from system
to system and see all the wonderful things the galaxy has to
offer. Other times, I don't want to leave the Temple," she
added.
She finally stopped staring off into the distance, gazing at the
horizon and staring into the water, and she shifted her eyes
entirely over to Ben, tilting her head so that it rested on her
knees. "You've seen a lot, right?" she asked rhetorically. She
knew Ben was well-traveled. His lifestyle, even before the war,
called for it. "What's the one sight you would most want to see
again? The one, most important and beautiful thing that I've
missed?" she asked, more of less making casual, light-hearted
conversation. He wanted to alleviate some of the heavy tension
in the air, distract Ben from his guilt and move on entirely
from what happened earlier. Talking about the future -- or the
potential future -- should take his mind off the past, right?
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esdfhbhjn m
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';o.ihlgiuyft
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Yousa hated mesa! Yousa fucked someone wesa worked with!
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