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#Post#: 749--------------------------------------------------
Cremepaw DONE
By: Savvy Date: October 29, 2012, 6:12 am
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[center][font=arial]Name;;Crèmepaw (CRÈMEPUFFF!)
Age;; 9 moons
Gender;; She-cat
Orientation;; Straight
Alliance;; Thunderclan~ Medicine Cat Apprentice?
Appearance {at least four sentences};;
Crème paw is a lilac point tabby, with molted hazel eyes. She
has a lean body with a scar running along her back. The scar is
a painful reminder of what made her who she was. In fact, its
all because Creme-y is the prettiest cat in the clan. She hates
herself for that,too. Many toms admire her, and she pretends
likes it. She has a seductive sweet voice, and a killer pout.
Watch out boys, if Cremepaw is on the prowl.
Personality {at least four sentences};;
Cremezees is a very sociable cat that "likes" to help everyone.
Cremepaw only does it so her mentor gets off her back. Cremepaw
doesn't even believe in Starclan, because she thinks she is
perfect, and should be ruled. She would rather eat death
berries, than fight. Cremepaw is that lazy. That is the whole
reason why she wants to be a medicine cat,She just doesn't want
to work! It’s a good thing she’s a medicine cat apprentice. She
sucked royally when it came to kit fighting, and she wouldn't
last a day as a warrior apprentice, let alone in a battle.
History {at least six sentences};;
Kit years: Once upon a time, Crèmekit was wondering around the
nursery. She was the most popular kit in the nursery, out
shining all the other she cats, out shinning them in looks and
personality. The mothers cooed and the elders awed. When it was
time to go to sleep, Cremekit snuck out of the den. She headed
to the fresh kill pile, "Cremekit!," called Snowfoot, "Could you
please get me a vole?" The elder was frail and could barely
move. "NO." was Cremekits reply. She scampered off to the
nursery, and fell asleep in her mother’s paws.
Early Apprentice: Later on, as an apprentice, she was out
collecting berries. She saw a rouge at the border, and purred,
“Hey sweet thing!” The rouge came over and put the moves on her.
Later, when she woke up, she had a scar on her back. She
shrugged it off and got it cleaned. She never saw the rouge
again.
Now, Cremepaw is seducing cats from near and far. Watch out
boys, Cremey is coming!
Role-play sample {required for your first advanced biography};;
not my first
Comments;;[/font] hehehe[/center]
#Post#: 1634--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cremepaw DONE
By: Savvy Date: October 29, 2012, 8:30 pm
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bump
#Post#: 1713--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cremepaw DONE
By: Shannon Date: October 29, 2012, 10:09 pm
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[spoiler][quote author=Savvy link=topic=105.msg749#msg749
date=1351509152]
Name;;Crèmepaw (CRÈMEPUFFF!)
Age;; 9 moons
Gender;; She-cat
Orientation;; Straight
Alliance;; Thunderclan~ Medicine Cat Apprentice?
Appearance {at least four sentences};;
Crème paw is a lilac point tabby, with molted hazel eyes. She
has a lean body with a scar running along her back. Not only is
the scar a remberance of what happened oh-so-long-ago. Creme-y
is the prettiest cat in the clan. Many toms admire her, and she
likes it that way. She has a seductive sweet voice, and a kill
pout. Watch out boys, if Cremepaw is on the prowl.
Personality {at least four sentences};;
Cremezees is a very sociable cat that likes to help everyone.
She hates it when people disrespect the rules, and will take
actions into her own paws. Practicality is her name, and
anything else is nothing. She would rather eat death berries,
than fight. That is the whole reason why she wants to be a
medicine cat. She doesn’t want to work. Cremey is very stubborn
too. It’s probably a good thing she’s a medicine cat apprentice.
To sum it up, Cremepaw is a brat.
History {at least six sentences};;
Kit years:Once upon a time, Crème kit was wondering around the
nursery. She was the most popular kit in the nursery, out
shining all the other she-cats, out shinning them in looks and
personality. The mothers cooed and the elders awed. When it was
time to go to sleep, Cremekit snuck out of the den. She headed
to the fresh kill pile, "Cremekit!," called Snowfoot, "Could you
please get me a vole?" The elder was frail and could barely
move. "NO." was Cremekits reply. She scampered off to the
nursery, and fell asleep in her mother’s paws.
Early Apprentice: Later on, as an apprentice, she was out
collecting berries. She saw a rouge at the border, and purred,
“Hey sweet thang!” The rouge came over and put the moves on her.
Later, when she woke up, she had a scar on her back. She
shrugged it off and got it cleaned. She never saw the rouge
again.
Now, Cremepaw is seducing cats from near and far. Watch out
boys, Cremey is coming!
Role-play sample {required for your first advanced biography};;
not maih first
[b]Comments;;[/quote][/spoiler]
Looking really good, but there were a some choppy sentences and
one or two grammar mistakes. Once edited bump it.
#Post#: 1721--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cremepaw DONE
By: Savvy Date: October 30, 2012, 5:48 am
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bumpetto
#Post#: 1754--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cremepaw DONE
By: pepper â™” Date: October 30, 2012, 7:35 am
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[spoiler] [quote author=Savvy link=topic=105.msg749#msg749
date=1351509152]
[center][font=arial]Name;;Crèmepaw (CRÈMEPUFFF!)
Age;; 9 moons
Gender;; She-cat
Orientation;; Straight
Alliance;; Thunderclan~ Medicine Cat Apprentice?
Appearance {at least four sentences};;
Crème paw is a lilac point tabby, with molted hazel eyes. She
has a lean body with a scar running along her back. Not only is
the scar a remembrance of what happened oh-so-long-ago. Creme-y
is the prettiest cat in the clan. Many toms admire her, and she
likes it that way. She has a seductive sweet voice, and a kill
pout. Watch out boys, if Cremepaw is on the prowl.
Personality {at least four sentences};;
Cremezees is a very sociable cat that likes to help everyone.
She hates it when people disrespect the rules, and will take
actions into her own paws. Practicality is her name, and
anything else is nothing. She would rather eat death berries,
than fight. That is the whole reason why she wants to be a
medicine cat. She doesn’t want to work. Cremey is very stubborn
too. It’s probably a good thing she’s a medicine cat apprentice.
To sum it up, Cremepaw is a brat.
History {at least six sentences};;
Kit years: Once upon a time, Crème kit was wondering around the
nursery. She was the most popular kit in the nursery, out
shining all the other she cats, out shinning them in looks and
personality. The mothers cooed and the elders awed. When it was
time to go to sleep, Cremekit snuck out of the den. She headed
to the fresh kill pile, "Cremekit!," called Snowfoot, "Could you
please get me a vole?" The elder was frail and could barely
move. "NO." was Cremekits reply. She scampered off to the
nursery, and fell asleep in her mother’s paws.
Early Apprentice: Later on, as an apprentice, she was out
collecting berries. She saw a rouge at the border, and purred,
“Hey sweet thing!” The rouge came over and put the moves on her.
Later, when she woke up, she had a scar on her back. She
shrugged it off and got it cleaned. She never saw the rouge
again.
Now, Cremepaw is seducing cats from near and far. Watch out
boys, Cremey is coming!
Role-play sample {required for your first advanced biography};;
not my first
Comments;;[/font][/center]
[/quote] [/spoiler]
[font=trebuchet ms]Hey, Savvy! This bio is looking great, but
could you do have a few more choppy sentences in there. Can you
find them and edit them, please?
Bump when you're done![/font]
#Post#: 2218--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cremepaw DONE
By: Savvy Date: October 30, 2012, 7:30 pm
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Locking because i am just not feeling it.
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