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#Post#: 102--------------------------------------------------
Sibling Rivalry and your Wedding
DIR By: Davidson2
Date: December 15, 2012, 9:54 am
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You know your sister almost as well as you know yourself. If
you’re reading this, chances are you suspect that you may have a
bit of sister-trouble during the days leading up to your
wedding, and maybe even on the day of. Your sister may be the
“whiner”, or she may be the careless “indifferent” one, but that
doesn’t mean that she’s a lost cause. Here are some tips for
you on how to get your sister more involved and more engaged in
the wedding festivities.
The Whiner
All your life you have been dealing with this girl who wants
everything that you have, even if she doesn’t deserve it. Self
entitlement may be high in this one, and she may always think
that she should have exactly what you have (if not even
better!). Though some sisters grow up and out of this when they
reach adulthood, there are always those few who just never seem
to get past it.
You may be rolling your eyes and feel completely fed up at this
point, but don’t give up hope yet. Start off by paying extra
attention to your sister and talk about what she’s doing. Make
an effort to recognize and congratulate her on her own
achievements. Make sure that your parents and any mutual
friends are doing likewise too. This will often quell a mild to
moderate whiner.
If you have a strong whiner at home who just will not be
appeased with extra attention, then you need to sit down and
have a real heart to heart with her. Tell her that she is
important to you and that you do care for her, but remind her
that this is your wedding day. You need her attention and her
support since this isn’t easy for you either. If your sister
isn’t married yet, let it be well known that you expect all eyes
to be on her on her wedding day too.
The Indifferent One
You’re happy, excited, stressed out, and anxious. So what does
your sister do? Shrug her shoulders or maybe she doesn’t even
have any reaction at all. You ask for her opinion and she keeps
her eyes trained on her laptop computer screen. You’re in the
middle of talking about reception venues, her phone rings, so
she answers it and walks out of the room.
This “closed up shut down” behavior is usually the result of
hurt, and is not a sign for a lack of love or care. The best
thing to do is to approach the topic when you have calmed down
and when you no longer feel hurt by her seeming lack of concern
and attention. Make sure that when you speak to her, you are
not placing blame; rather, you simply explain how you feel, such
as “When I was talking to you about wedding venues yesterday and
you answered your cell phone, I was hurt. I really wanted and
need your opinion.” You can even follow up with a complimentary
note such as, “You’re better at this than I am!” If she still
seems solid as stone, don’t give up. Continue to ask her to be
a part of things and let her know how you feel. You may have a
situation where she will blow up and explain why she’s been
behaving the way she has, but you can then work on solving the
issue together.
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