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#Post#: 1825--------------------------------------------------
Tip To Alway PAINS OF Rejection
By: mr nad Date: March 11, 2014, 3:49 am
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Rejection is perfectly normal, but the fear of rejection is not.
If you haven’t been rejected in life, you haven’t interacted
with people enough.
Almost all of us face rejection at some point of time in our
lives. Sometimes, we are rejected for a job offer while other
times we face a rejection in relationships. While most of us
brush the rejection off and look out for newer opportunities,
there are some people who cling to the rejection that came their
way. These people simply refuse to accept the fact that they
could be rejected in life. One rejection gives a way to the fear
of rejection in future, which prevents the person from giving
his best and subsequently results in rejection.
Where Does it Stem From
Individuals who dread rejection are found to have a troubled
childhood. They never felt loved by their parents or other
family members. Also, the constant comparison with their
siblings or other kids induces a feeling that if they are not
perfect, so they will not be loved. Thus, these kids try to
imitate the behavior of the ones who they admire. This is a
frantic attempt to fulfill others’ expectations so that they are
accepted within the group and eventually loved. In the process,
they shed their true identity and try to become what people want
them to be. This has very negative repercussions on the psyche
of the kid. These kids then grow up to become adults who turn
out to be ‘yes men’. Low self esteem is the most significant
personality trait observed in these people.
Phobia of Getting Rejected
Although, there are no unique symptoms for this particular
condition, these people do exhibit a peculiar behavioral
pattern. Such people are not ready to openly communicate and
never express their views upon something. More so, if their
views happen to be different from the ones they are trying to
please. They find it hard to say ‘no’ to the people they are
trying to appease. They even keep their personal feelings
hidden. Anxiety of rejection in relationships often stems from
previously failed relationships or rejections. These people are
wary of initiating a new relationship or simply asking someone
out. They fear that they might be turned down. If they are
already in a relationship they might take it too seriously too
early, which might drive the other person crazy. These people
often associate dangerous words like ‘loser’, ‘incapable’,
‘humiliation’ etc. with rejection. Obviously, this hampers their
self esteem in the long run.
People who have a phobia of rejection are often manipulated and
taken undue advantage of by others, especially those who have a
strong impact on the person. While the concerned person bends at
their will, every now and then, these wicked people have a good
laugh at the victim’s expense. Unfortunately, no matter how hard
a person tries to behave as per the wishes of those who
influence him, he is never allowed in their inner circle.
How to Overcome It
Overcoming fear of rejection is a gradual process that extends
over days or even months. The person who faces a fear needs
extensive help from friends and family to come to terms with his
true self. He should be taught about how to take things lightly
and that rejection is not the end of the world. One rejection
often paves way to a new opportunity, which might turn better
than you ever imagined. Running away from one’s true self cannot
bring happiness in your life, instead, the act of molding
yourself as per others’ wishes can leave you miserable and in a
state of self pity. You can be truly happy only when you love
the way you are. Interestingly, people will also love you only
if you come across as a genuine person, true to yourself.
At times, fear of rejection may erupt if the person faces
successive failures or rejections. A series of failures at
personal as well as professional level is bound to affect even
the most optimistic person. During such times, you should
remember the following quote by Bo Bennet, famous businessman
and author, “It is not rejection itself that people fear, it is
the possible consequences of rejection. Preparing to accept
those consequences and viewing rejection as a learning
experience that will bring you closer to success, will not only
help you to conquer the fear of rejection, but help you to
appreciate rejection itself Invite your friends here
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