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#Post#: 427--------------------------------------------------
Re: Quotes
By: samxxemo Date: October 28, 2009, 8:55 am
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LOL :)
#Post#: 428--------------------------------------------------
Re: Quotes
By: Sav Date: October 28, 2009, 10:18 am
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Today I was being driven home from a school concert by my mother
when I realised we were going completely the wrong way. I asked
her what she was doing and she said, "The car in front of us is
playing The Lion King on the screens on the back of their seats
and I have to see the end." I love her. MLIA
#Post#: 430--------------------------------------------------
Re: Quotes
By: Sav Date: October 28, 2009, 10:26 am
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The other day I was on my way home as I walked by a field. There
were lots of sheep there, so I just went "meeeeh" in a
sheep-like way. Then, all of a sudden, all the sheep came
running down the hill, stops right in front of me and just
stares. Now I'm extremely curious about what I told them. MLIA
Today I was doing laundry in the middle of the night and decided
to take the elevator to avoid carrying the heavy bag. I noticed
that it looked like a body was in my bag and so did the girl
about to get on the elevator after me. She stared in horror and
said she'd catch the next one. I put my finger to my lips,
shushing her as the doors closed. Her face was priceless. I'll
be riding the elevator more often. MLIA
Today, I drove by a graffiti bridge and saw that someone had
written, "cops can't dance." When I drove by again later that
day a response had been added, "yes we can." I officially love
this city. MLIA
Today I was studying for my Human Geography mid-term and decided
to cheat a little bit by looking up, Human Geography, in the
glossary. When I found the definition it read "see pages 1
through 458" well played textbook. MLIA
Today, my class was playing one of those cheesy get to know your
classmates game. The question asked to a boy who rarely talks
was "If you were an animal what kind would you be?" He without
hesitation said "a unicorn". Everyone was confused until he
winked and said, "Because I'm everyones fantasy". All the guys
laughed. All the girls, including my teacher, were impressed.
MLIA
Today, I went to a grocery store that was going out of business
and bought about 200 cans of food. When the 17 year old cashier
asked about it I said "We are preparing for the zombie
apocalypse". we got an extra 20% off. MLIA
Today, I was bored in French class and began to look around the
room. I noticed a sign on the wall that said "Maximum Capacity:
38". I counted the people in the room and there were 39. I got
up and left. Your welcome, fire marshall. MLIA
Today, in Spanish class we had to talk about chores we do around
the house. I meant to say I take care of the family dog (el
perro). Instead, I unknowingly said "la perra" which is slang
meaning 'the slut.' I told my teacher that I feed, bathe and
take the family slut for walks. She had to excuse herself from
laughing so hard. MLIA
#Post#: 432--------------------------------------------------
Re: Quotes
By: Sav Date: October 28, 2009, 10:28 am
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Today I wasn't feeling good so my mom took me to the doctors.
Because of Swine Flu you have to wear a mask. I promptly drew a
mustace on mine and petted it while I was pretend thinking. I
got seven other people to do it. MLIA.
Today I was reading the local news and a breaking news story
about how an elderly man escaped from a nursing home and if
anyone sees this man, please report him to the police. When they
showed the picture I saw it was my grandpa. Run! Grandpa Run!
MLIA
((THIS ONE IS FOR FRENCH STUDENTS EVERYWHERE!!!!)
Today in French class, we had to write questions for another
person to answer in French. I wrote "Quelle heure dines-tu?"
(What time do you dine?) When I got it back, the other person
had written, "Je M'appelle Chuck Norris, Je ne mange pas" ( I am
Chuck Norris, I do not eat.) I gave him full credit. MLIA
#Post#: 433--------------------------------------------------
Re: Quotes
By: Sav Date: October 28, 2009, 10:33 am
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Today I realized that indigo isn't part of the rainbow, Pluto
isn't a planet, Dora the explorer is now a teen, and the cookie
monster likes veggies. How much more can they ruin childhood?
MLIA
Today, I found out that if you count my satisfactory grades in
kinesiology, my midterm grades spell out "badass." Never have I
been more proud of a D. MLIA
Today, in Spanish class, we had to write stories about what we
would be doing in ten years. Since I was confused, my friend
helped me write one, and told me that it translated to "I will
be married and working in a hospital." She was lying. When we
had to present the stories, I stood up and proudly told the
entire class that I was planning to kill the President and flee
to the mountains without any clothes on. I should feel
embarrassed, but I think I have a new life goal. MLIA
Today, I went to the mall with my friend. Just to see what would
happen, we held hands and looked at each other as if we were in
love (we are both girls). As we are walking, we were getting
dirty looks from old couples, confused looks from kids, and
disapproving looks from middle aged people. We then walked past
these two older men in business suits, holding hands. We didn't
think much of it, but then one of the men walks up to us with a
huge smile on his face and says "we aren't gay either" and walks
away. I know the type of man I want to marry one day. MLIA
Today I was on Twitter. I was browsing the public feed, when I
noticed a tweet that said "Giving birth, be back in a few."
Words fail me. MLIA
#Post#: 434--------------------------------------------------
Re: Quotes
By: Sav Date: October 28, 2009, 10:51 am
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Today, I was at work and realized a co-worker left her jacket.
Instead of sending a simple text saying she forgot it, I sent a
picture of the jacket with a ransom note and an attached "Help
Me!" note. She came in 5 minutes later to claim it, without the
$100,000,000 I asked for, but instead gave me a cookie. I feel
this was sufficient payment. MLIA
Today, my school had a shooting threat. When everyones parents
came to get them, they all started telling their kids how much
they loved them. My dad- "Never piss off the weird kids. They
can't take a joke." Thanks for the valuable life lesson Dad.
MLIA
Yesterday, My Physics teacher told us that he would give us an A
if we could come up with blueprints to a device that would let
us see through a solid brick wall. I handed in blueprints
showing a square on a wall. I labeled it Window. MLIA.
Today, I was taking a US History test. One of the questions was
about the reason for the start of the Spanish-American War.
There were three normal answers and the fourth simply stated,
"Over a taco." I have never wanted to pick the wrong answer more
in my life.
Today, I added a friend as my sibling on facebook. In the next
half hour, three relatives called asking when we adopted a
korean girl. MLIA
Today, I was in the Library reading their rules. One of the
rules said 'Do not take a bath in the library'. I am a little
confused as to what made this rule necessary. MLIA
Today, I fell asleep at the library after hours of studying.
When I woke up, there was a purple whale-shaped pillow under my
head, all of my books were neatly stacked, and my laptop
screensaver had been changed to a picture of the night sky.
Thank you, library fairy. MLIA
Today, my professor got on to me for texting class. He said
he'll let it pass if it was for something important, like a
family emergency. I thought about lying, but decide to be
honest, so I replied "actually, my best friend and I are trying
to coordinate going to see Toy Story in 3D". He replied "you
mean you haven't seen it yet? You can step out of class to make
a call about that." New favorite professor? I think so. MLIA.
Today, my cat was sitting on my lap and staring intently at my
hand since she likes to bite my fingers. I was watching her
carefully to avoid getting bitten. All of a sudden, she looked
wide-eyed at something right behind me. When I turned to see
what it was, she attacked my hand. Outsmarted by a cat. MLIA
#Post#: 454--------------------------------------------------
Re: Quotes
By: Sav Date: October 29, 2009, 9:28 am
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Today, I was in science and reading all the warning signs, one
of them read "When using the bunsen burner invisible flame may
be hard to see" Thank you for pointing that out, education
department. MLIA
#Post#: 460--------------------------------------------------
Re: Quotes
By: samxxemo Date: October 29, 2009, 10:32 am
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LOL :) thats funny
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