DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
UCC (UMMA) Managers Forum
HTML https://umma.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Fights
*****************************************************
#Post#: 5597--------------------------------------------------
Fight 06 Jennifer Lopez vs Kim Kardashian
DIR By: BadAssBunnies
Date: July 18, 2024, 1:06 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Match 06
Jennifer Jlo Lopez – Strikeforce vs Kim Kardashian – Hellfire
Girls Club
Pre-Fight Weigh-in:
HTML https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53868526031_16ff453322_b.jpg
Joe Rogan: Welcome Ladies and Gentleman to the 6th fight in the
inaugural Baby Oil Brawl. Tonight, two of the biggest names in
entertainment will strip down to the bare essentials, coat
themselves in baby oil and wrestle to see who it the top icon.
The challenger, Jennifer Lopez makes her way to the scales and
the crowd jumps to their feet. JLO removes her hoodie, rolls off
her sweatpants and stands in front of the scales in a sheer lacy
black bra and matching lace panties. She steps on the scales and
weight in at 139 lbs. Jennifer smiles at Joe then flexes her
muscles and shows off her impressive biceps. She tilts her head
to the left, plants a kiss on her left bicep then turns to the
right and does the same.
Jennifer walks over, gives Joe a hug making sure to press her
voluptuous body up tight then gives him a kiss on the cheek. JLO
waves to her fans then takes a step back and waits for her
opponent.
Kim Kardashian, not one to be outdone, steps towards the scale
skirted by two bodybuilders dressed in loincloths. Kim is
wearing a shiny black robe with Queen embroidered on the back in
metallic gold. She steps up to the scales while the bodybuilders
slowly remove her robe. They take a step back leaving Kim
standing alone in the spotlight wearing a thin red triangle
bikini top and a thin string g-string.
Kim looks amazing as her curvaceous body is toned and trim while
her big breasts and round butt glisten under the lights. She
steps on the scale and weighs in at a svelte 134 lbs. Km waits
for the crowd to die down then takes a step towards JLO. The two
lock eyes then inch closer until the breasts are almost
touching. Neither is willing to back down as they glare daggers
as the mumble under their breaths ans spit insults.
Kim bends at the hip, ducks to her side then straightens up
launching her heaving breasts into Jennifer the impact from the
massive hit sends Jennifer's racks slapping into her face with a
loud smack. Jennifer, stunned by Kim's calculated move stumbles
back and is lucking caught by Joe before she ends up on her ass.
Security intervenes and both nearly naked women are sent to
their seats up on stage.
Joe Rogan takes his position at the podium and start the
interview with the challenger.
Joe: Jennifer, do you mind if I call you JLO?
Jennifer: Whatever floats you boat, Joseph. Or do I call you
JRO?
Joe: Joe is fine. OK, So what made you decide to challenge Kim?
Jennifer: Well, this might take awhile but let me summarize. Kim
is a social media icon, she has her law degree and fight for the
wrongly accused. She give money to a number of worthy charity,
has clothing lines and produces shows and movies.
Joe interrupts.
Joe: That sounds like a lot of accolades.
Jennifer: I'm getting to it if you shut up. Kim does a lot of
good but . . . There is this other side of her that make me want
to puke. She's narcissistic, arrogant, plastic, selfish, she
wears “Queen” on her robe for **** sakes. Who the hell ever
crowned her queen. She came from a privileged family and has
never had to scrap for a living and she thinks that since she is
a founding member of Hellfire that her **** don't stink. I
wouldn't even doubt if she has someone flush her toilet for her.
And lets not forget about Kanye!
Kim is in another world barely paying attention as she flips her
hair back and takes a selfie.
Joe: OK, she has been known for some of those things but Kim is
an idol to millions of women.
Jennifer: Idol? You call her an idol. She just the opposite,
Joe. Who wants their daughters to grow up and be her? She got
famous for making a **** tape for Christ's sake!
Now Kim starts paying attention.
Jennifer: Nobody would know who the hell she is if her Mother
didn't produce a **** of her daughter, That's the kind of family
she lives with. And to top it off, her first paying job was
being a personal assistant to Paris Hilton. Need I say more?
Kim: Oh, you're just being jealous. Get over it, Jen.
Jennifer stands up but Joe steps in front of her.
Joe: Save it for the pit ladies.
Jennifer: I grew up in the Bronx and had to earn everything I
have by clawing and scratching my way to the top. I've got
talent unlike Kim who is completely useless as a human being.
Kim: Are you done yet?
Jennifer: The problem is that when we are done with this she'll
probably gain another 100,000 followers. I can't wait to beat
her ass and show her followers what a real loser she is.
Kim: Ohhhh kay. Your time is up Jen Jen.
Joe: What was your reaction when you found out you were
challenged?
Kim: When Kylie told me I was challenged by Jennifer I thought
it was a joke. I swear they told me she was retired from combat
sports like 10 years ago when she was like 46 I think.
Joe: Let's not go there. Jennifer has been an active member of
Strikeforce for a longtime.
Kim: Maybe it's been too long.
Kim: You know, when your as famous as me, everyone wants to see
how they stack up. Like little Jen from the block over there, I
don't see her putting up much of a fight.
Joe: So you're predicting an easy win?
Kim: I tell you what, I'm not losing to her. And she has the
nerve to mention Kanye. Been Affleck is one of the biggest
losers in Hollywood. And Alex Rodriguez, I heard he has a
bronzed statue of himself in his living room and has his
assistant open and close his toothpaste. Those two are the real
losers.
Jennifer is being held back as she reaches out for Kim but the
two are pulled apart and send in opposite directions.
Kim: It's so hard being me.
Fight Night:
Kim has gone to social media and her fans have flooded
Jennifer's comments with nasty responses. It got so bad that
Jennifer had to close down her accounts. Kim made a half-hearted
plea but her fan refused to let up.
Jennifer is first to the pit accompanied by Ciara and Rihanna.
She is dressed in a light lavender bikini with black trim. She
kneels in her corner and slowly cups her hands in the oil
rubbing it around until her tight body is covered with a thin
sheen.
The lights go down then “Highlights” from Kanye West starts
blaring over the PA. Kim walks down the aisle accompanied by her
sisters Courtney and Chloe. She stops to take some selfies and
when an over -eager fan tries to give Kim a hug, Chloe lifts her
off her feet, spins her around and slams her on the concrete.
Kim takes a few more selfies then makes it to the pit, strips
down to her 3 sizes too small silver bikini then kneels in the
pit where her sisters start to oil her up. Immediately they
start bickering as apparently her sisters are doing it all
wrong. After a brief spat Kim decides to finish getting ready by
herself.
Daisy brings them to the middle of the pit and Kim stands
stoically while Jennifer is struggling to keep her balance.
After receiving directions, Kim sticks out her hand in a
friendly gesture but Jennifer slaps it away. Kim turns to her
corner making sure that Courtney caught it on her phone.
The referee for tonight's bout is Daisy Fuentes.
Round 1:
Kim comes flying out of her corner and heads straight for
Jennifer. She jumps in the air and launches herself at a wide
eyed Jennifer. Kim sails through the air, her prone body almost
flat to the oily pit as she looks to smash her body into
Jennifer. At the last second, Jennifer ducks as Kim sails over
her head. Kim's body lands with a loud splat then slides into
the rail head first. Kim's body crumples into a ball as she lies
moaning in pain.
A stunned Jennifer takes baby steps until she is standing over
Kim. She rolls her on her back, sits high on her chest as Daisy
slides in. ONE! . . . TWO! . . . THREE! Jennifer's fans cheers
as she raises her hands while her slack-jawed sisters look on as
Kim looks to still be out. Daisy calls for the ring Doctor as
Courtney and Chloe go to Kim's aid. As the doctor tries to get
in close The Kardashian's stream into action. Courtney
immediately heads to the ref and starts screaming at her while
Chloe knees next to Kim and shields her from the ring Doctor.
Kim slowly recovers but is in no shape to continue as the Doctor
tries to get a closer look.
Chloe: You lay a hand on her and you'll never practice medicine
for as long as you live.
The Doctor, doing his job and concerned for Kim's safety get
closer when Chloe wraps her right hand around his throat, lifts
him in the air and shake him like a rag doll. She slowly puts
him back down and with a change of heart, he allows the match to
proceed. After some more interference from Kim's sisters, he
match resumes.
Jennifer and Kim tie up and wrestle on their knees. Jennifer
slips off to the left and locks Kim in a side headlock. She
twists her body and sends Kim over her hip. She straddles the
stunned social media icon, slips upon her chest and places her
hands on Kim's shoulders. ONE! . . . TWO! . . Kim manages to
squirms her way until her shoulder is off the mat but Jennifer
leans forward and the count resumes. ONE! . . . TWO . . THR . .
. Again, Kim manages to lift her shoulder breaking the count
but a determined Jennifer doubles her efforts bringing her knees
in tight to Kim's chest until her massive breasts are testing
her skimpy silver top.
Jennifer inches forward pushing Kim's jugs until they are
resting on her chin. ONE! . . . TWO! . . .T . Kim plants her
feet and lifts her hips sending Jennifer tumbling over her head.
Kim, realizing that she has under-estimated her opponent, get to
her knees and tucks her left breast back in her top. Jennifer is
feeling it and now has seem to have found her balance, launches
herself to Kim. The two Heavyweight bodies collide with a loud
slap. They wrap each other up in a tight bearhug and fall to
the mat. They both takes turn on top neither able to get more
than a one count.
As the time runs out on the first round, Jennifer powers her way
on top, pins Kim's shoulders to the mat as Daisy starts the
count. ONE! . . TWO! . . TH. . . The bells sounds as Daisy's
hand is half way down saving Kim from another pin. Daisy waves
her hands but Jennifer isn't about to get off. She grabs a
handful of Kim's hair in her left hand while her right hand
grabs her by the chin. She leans forward as Kim calls out for a
break. Daisy gives Jennifer a warning and start the 5 count. At
three Jennifer lets Kim up then gives her a shove knocking her
back down.
With a 1-0 lead it looks like we have a close fight. Kim makes
it back to her corner as Courtney and Chloe give Kim a pep talk
which of course fall on deaf ears. Jennifer is ready to resume
and throws some taunts over at Kim who seems more interested in
cleaning up her smudged eye shadow.
Round 2:
They meet in the middle and wrap each other up tight their legs
snaked together as they grunt and groan each trying to get on
top of the other. This time it's Kim who powers her way on top
pinning Jennifer on her back as Daisy, not expecting such a
quick pin isn't in position as Kim starts her own quick count.
ONE! TWO! THREE!.
Kim: What the ****, Feuntes?
Daisy gets into position but only manages a 1 count before
Jennifer swings her arm back the point of her left elbow landing
on Kim's left eye. Kim covers her face then screams as Jennifer
rolls out on top of Kim and Daisy, now in position start the
count on Kim. ONE! . . . TWO . . . THR . . . A red faced Kim
shoves Jennifer off then gets to her feet and chest bumps Daisy.
Kim: She elbowed me in the **** eye! Take a point away you
useless piece of crap.
Daisy motions for them to fight.
Kim: Get your a$$ together or this is the last time you
officiate anything! Understand?
As Kim is belittling Daisy, Jennifer hops on her back and locks
her in a rear naked choke. Jennifer leans back, sits on her butt
and locks her legs under Kim's breasts. Kim immediately starts
turning red as Jennifer pulls back while locking her ankles. Kim
starts moaning then digs her nails into Jennifer's arms, leans
forwards, then smashes the back of her head into Jennifer's
face. Jlo screams and releases the lock while Rihanna and Ciara
start screaming foul but Daisy looks at Kim, shakes her head no,
then tells them to wrestle.
Kim catches her breath then reaches down, grabs a handful of
hair and lifts Jennifer to her feet. She holds Jennifer up then
stomps on her toes then sweeps her legs out. Jennifer crashes to
the pit floor with a loud splat and before she can gather her
senses, Kim jumps up in the air and lands a body splash her full
weight knocking the air out of Jennifer. Kim straddles Jen's
chest, inches up until her knees are resting on Jennifer's
biceps then orders Daisy to start counting. ONE! . TWO . THREE!
Ciara and Rhianna are livid after the quick count but Daisy
isn't having any of it and summons the fighters to the middle.
Jennifer takes a deep breath then feints to the left then lands
a open handed slap across Kim's cheeks the stunning shot echoing
across the pit making the crowd gasp. Kim shakes her head and
before she can focus another slaps sends her to the mat. Kim
lands on her side and now it's Jennifer's turn to launch herself
in the air but before she can land the body splash, Kim rolls
away and Jennifer lands face first in the oil. Kim quickly rolls
the out of breath Strikeforce Heavyweight on her back, hooks her
leg and pins it to her chest while Daisy counts Jennifer out. In
less than a minute Kim has taken control and leads 2-1.
Jlo gets to her knees and catches her breath and readies
herself. Kim is all smiles now and confidently steps towards
Jen. They lock up and fall into a tangled mess of arms and legs.
They give it everything they have but neither is able to get any
sort of advantage and they spend the rest of the round side by
side squeezing each other with their legs and slapping each
other on the back.
They ref has trouble prying the two exhausted fighters apart and
when she does it's Jennifer who gives Kim a shove knocking her
off her feet and sending her sliding into her corner. A
halfhearted warning from Daisy gets ignored by both battered
fighters.
Chloe wipes the oil from Kim's eyes and it's apparent that she
will have a nice shiner in the morning as her left eye is
starting to close. Kim is furious as Courtney takes a pic and
show the damage to her little sister. Kim face is contorted as a
red wave flushes across her face.
Round 3:
Kim charges at Jennifer and the two lock up in a tight embrace.
They spin to the left each struggling to keep their balance but
neither able to take out the other feet. Finally Kim is able to
kick Jennifer in the shin forcing her to lose her balance and
they go crashing down onto the slippery mat. Kim's entire 139
lbs comes crashing down on top of Jennifer and the blow sends
the air hissing through her lips. Kim lifts her hips and bounces
her world famous derriere up and down on Jennifer's belly each
slapping blow knocking the remaining air from Jen. Kim leans
forward, places her hands on Jen's shoulders as Daisy calls out
the count. ONE! . . . TWO! . . . TH . Jennifer lifts her left
shoulder momentarily breaking the count but after a few more
Keister bounces Kim presses forwards and secures the pin.
Kim has taken control of this fight as Chloe takes some more
selfies making sure to get an out of breath Jen in the
background. Daisy gets the fight started and Jen is in big
trouble as she struggle to catch her breath. Kim is all over her
before she can recover slapping her across the cheeks and
tugging on her hair. Jennifer's eyes are rolling in the back of
her head as Kim is in complete control. She grabs Jennifer's
ankles, rolls her on her stomach and locks in a Boston Crab.
Before the lock can be fully locked in Jennifer screams out in
agony and taps the mat.
Kim, a bit disappointed continues to bend Jen back until her
ankles are touching the mat then releases the hold. Kim's fans
cheer while Jennifer rolls on her stomach and reaches back and
rubs her aching back. Kim looks over to Courtney whose phone is
in her hand.
Kim: Please tell me you got that.
Courtney shrugs her shoulders and Kim slaps the mat and heads
towards Jennifer.
The Strikeforce Boss enters the arena and again looks like he is
about to throw in the towel. With his fighter down 4 falls to 1
he has some sharp words for Ciara and Rihanna who are doing
their best to calm him down. He looks over at his beaten fighter
and has had enough and storms out leaving his corner to deal
with Jen. Despite the searing pain shooting through her back,
she isn't about to concede to a Kardashian and gathers herself
and gets to the middle of the cage.
Kim reaches out her hand in a friendly gesture.
Kim: Sorry about that. I didn't see you tap.
Kim's cocky smiles fades as her hand is forcefully slapped away.
She bull rushes Jen and spears her in the gut lifting her off
her feet and driving her into the mat. Kim is on fire as she
pins Jen on her back as places her world famous backside on
Jen's face. Daisy slides in. ONE! . . . TWO! . . . THRE . . Kim
slides back, grabs a handful of hair and pulls Jen up breaking
the count. Kim gets a stern warning but continues to play with
Jen who offers less and less resistance as Kim grinds her butt
on Jen's face. After the third warning Kim spins around until
she is facing Jennifer's legs, spreads her thic thighs and plops
her big round ass on Jennifer's face.
Jennifer's face is completely engulfed beneath Kim as Daisy
starts the count. ONE! . . . TWO! . . . and THREE! Kim raises
her arms and starts grinding her hips then finally gets off her
defeated foe. Kim gets to her feet and looks down at Jennifer as
Daisy moves in, lifts her left arm and lets it fall then waves
off the fight as Rihanna and Ciara go to their unconscious
teammate.
Kim Kardashian beat Jennifer Lopez 5 falls to 1,
Post Fight:
Joe Rogan has to wait for the ring to clear then heads over to
the Hellfire corner.
Joe: Kim, that was, well that was interesting to say the least.
Kim: Did anyone get the Boston Crab? Anyone?
Joe: I'm sure it will be one of the highlights. Great match.
Kim: Thank you, Joe. I really wanted to make a statement. You
challenge the Queen and you pay the price.
Joe: Jennifer came out fast and had you in trouble. How were you
able to fight back?
Kim: Trouble? Me, in trouble? I had her exactly where I wanted
her.
Joe: You started your comeback by targeting her mid section. Was
that part of your strategy?
Kim: When you fight at a high level like I do, you let the fight
come to you. I could see that her stomach was one of her
weaknesses and well, you saw how her jelly belly folded under
pressure.
Joe: That wasn't very nice.
Kim: When you're the Queen you have to be brutally honest or
you'll lose all respect.
Joe: Now let's get to your finish. A reverse facesit submission
has to be one of the most humiliating finishes. Was that really
necessary seeing that Jennifer was ready to black out?
Kim: That one was for my followers who just can't get enough. I
couldn't let then down after they paid half a weeks pay to come
and see me tonight. While it is humiliating to say the least,
you don't get to see the look of far in your opponents eyes so
it's a little disappointing.
Joe: Well, that seems a bit arrogant of you.
Kim: You haven't seen arrogant yet. Just wait until I'm
challenged the next time.
Joe: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner. Kim Kardashian!
Kim brushes the hair our of her face and is handed a phone by
Chloe. She takes a series of selfies then waves to her adoring
fans.
Written by The Badass Barbies.
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 1