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#Post#: 722--------------------------------------------------
Censorship and Black Ops Raccoons
By: Raccoon Date: November 18, 2014, 9:02 am
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[move]For immediate release: Censorship and Black Ops
Raccoons![/move]
Susanna Grimm's latest expose has been suppressed by Knockout
Magazine editors!
"This will not do!" Raccoon growled. "Our investigative reporter
Ms. Grimm had done an excellent job this week uncovering dirty
secrets about the UMMA and its stables. Secrets that the powers
that be clearly do not want in the light!"
"Whether the fact that Ms. Grimm's story was not published was
due to an oversight or a dastardly conspiracy is irrelevant… Our
peop- raccoons are looking into the matter and will deal with it
accordingly!"
"In case the missing report is found, I want to make clear that,
the views expressed in the Knockout Magazine are not necessarily
the views of Raccoon, the Raccoon organization, or its
advertisers."
[center]* * *[/center]
Raccoon's New Troubleshooters - Fiction or Fact?
Rumors about specially trained ninja-raccoons have begun
spreading around the shadow community. Fuzzy pictures of shadowy
creatures have been posted all around the net. Careful analysis
of these images have revealed that most of them are images
bigfoots, chupacabras and mothmen, but about 5% remain
unidentified. Some have begun calling these shadow raccoon
sightings. Eyewitnesses claim to have seen black helicopters
with the Raccoon logo on the side in the vicinity of many shadow
raccoon sightings. Could these helicopters be proof that Raccoon
is training some sort of black ops raccoons?
Whether or not these black ops raccoons truly exist remains
unclear, but a Raccoon employee, who identified himself as Night
Hamster had this to say: "Ninja raccoons? Don't be stupid! Are
you next going to ask me about rocket launcher toting raccoons?"
[center]* * *[/center]
Ariana Grande Tries to be Funny
In the latest Knockout Magazine Ariana Grande made some attempts
at humor by insulting both Olympic goldmedalist Jessica Ennis
and Raccoon. The only reply from the Raccoon organization
regarding this affront was issued by Night Hamster "Wonder does
Ms. Grande have a cat door..?"
HTML http://relentlesslife.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/article-0-12c79383000005dc-916_634x471.jpg
#Post#: 730--------------------------------------------------
Re: Censorship and Black Ops Raccoons
By: RampageSports Date: November 18, 2014, 1:03 pm
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Pardon the interruption, but I just wanted to make one thing
clear: All raccoons discovered on RSI property - be they black
ops or otherwise - will be shot on sight.
Carry on. ;D
#Post#: 733--------------------------------------------------
Re: Censorship and Black Ops Raccoons
By: Raccoon Date: November 18, 2014, 1:12 pm
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"I don't confirm nor deny their existence, but as if you would
ever be able to detect them."
#Post#: 736--------------------------------------------------
Re: Censorship and Black Ops Raccoons
By: umma-manager Date: November 18, 2014, 3:47 pm
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That is one scary looking raccoon! :o
#Post#: 740--------------------------------------------------
Re: Censorship and Black Ops Raccoons
By: LMF Date: November 18, 2014, 6:13 pm
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Have Raccoon's girls been tested for rabies?
#Post#: 807--------------------------------------------------
Re: Censorship and Black Ops Raccoons
By: Raccoon Date: December 2, 2014, 6:08 am
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[quote author=LMF link=topic=106.msg740#msg740 date=1416355980]
Have Raccoon's girls been tested for rabies?
[/quote]
"Hah-hah, hah-hah, hah-ha! You're so funny... Oh, look what I
found in your home - your little kitty! Now please tell us
another joke while I cuddle with the little thing..."
HTML http://freakingnews.com/Pictures/1/Raccoons-Attack-Washington.jpg
#Post#: 809--------------------------------------------------
Re: Censorship and Black Ops Raccoons
By: TIG stable Date: December 2, 2014, 4:07 pm
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Sounds like Raccoon is making a play for chicas with bunny
boiler tendencies.
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