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       #Post#: 197--------------------------------------------------
       Why do I feel this way? Why am I like this?
   DIR By: Admin
       Date: June 13, 2013, 6:10 pm
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       Hey guys. I'm a 19 year old guy, and all I wanna do is have fun
       with my life. Get drunk with friends, me a girl who's funny,
       cute, and kissable, and just be happy. I am not a happy guy.
       All my life, I've felt like I wasn't good enough. Not good
       looking enough. Too shy. Too scared. Care too much about
       everyone around me. Shoot myself down. Doubt myself.
       I guess the biggest problem I have is what my friends think of
       me. Lol, they don't need me as much as I need them. I've spent
       days feeling terrible for things I said or did to or about my
       friends, when it's not even that big of a deal. I have a good
       amount of friends, and 2 best friends. That's good right? I'm a
       nice guy. Why am I so sad?
       I seriously think it's because I've never had a girlfriend. I
       know what some people are thinking, I just want to have sex. No.
       I am a virgin, and I've never even kissed a girl! Talk about
       humiliation. When I think about having a girlfriend, I think
       about cuddling and watching movies. About hugging her from
       behind. Protecting her, ya know? Call me a pussy or whatever, I
       don't care, because that's honest to god what I see.
       That might be my problem. I'm too nice. All the girls want
       assholes. Here's the problem. I can't be an asshole. It's not in
       my DNA. If that's what works, then I guess I'm fucked three ways
       to the weekend. Girls don't approach me.
       I don't give myself credit. I'm super shy. I don't want to hear
       "be brave and just do it!" or stuff like that because I just
       can't. The last thing I want to hear is "When you least expect
       it, some one will come in to your life!". Well, I'm always
       expecting it. I wake up thinking that I just might, but
       probabley won't, meet an amazing girl. It's been a long time
       with that mentality.
       So do something, right? Well, I've had that mentality, too. I
       just can't. There are goals I want to accomplish. Short term. I
       want to loose a bit of my gut (Not really fat, but I would like
       to be skinnier.) be the best I can be at my job, talk to that
       girl, ect. I'm stuck in this lazy mentality. I just don't care
       enough, but I do.
       Maybe I need a little help, but how?
       I just want a girl so bad. I feel like everything would be
       better.
       I have a lot more to say, but I'm gonna stop now, lol.
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