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#Post#: 8208--------------------------------------------------
How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: guest60 Date: August 21, 2021, 8:34 pm
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I know that I had it once. I can vaguely remember that state of
mind, but what was once a way I lived and felt, has become a
(faint?) memory. I knew that I was losing something important as
I was growing up, and that the other children around me were
losing it too. I tried to protect it. However, nobody seems to
remember but me. When I ask people if they remember what it was
like to be a child, not to recall their childhood memories, but
to remember what it was like to be a child, they don't seem to
remember it in the way that I do.
Is it even possible to recover it? Or does it die along with
innocence? Why does it leave us?
#Post#: 8212--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: 90sRetroFan Date: August 22, 2021, 12:15 am
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"nobody seems to remember but me."
Some of us here remember.
"Why does it leave us?"
We let it leave us in order to ease the stress of being
surrounded by evil but lacking the power to destroy it. Just
like our nerves desensitize over time if regularly subjected to
pain.
"Or does it die along with innocence?"
No. Innocence is when we were unaware of evil and thus presumed
the world is as we imagined it to be. Innocence disappears when
we encounter evil, but this is when we face the choice of either
losing Original Nobility (by accepting the evil) or retaining it
(by refusing to accept the evil). Retaining Original Nobility
would be easy if we had power, since why would we accept an evil
when we can readily destroy it? What makes retaining Original
Nobility hard is having no power. This is why societies in which
children have no power are societies designed to crush Original
Nobility.
"Is it even possible to recover it?"
It seems that different people can recover it to different
degrees. The further back into your childhood you can remember
to, the more of it should be recoverable.
"How do I recover my Original Nobility?"
Have you ever had dreams in which you return to a time in the
past in such a way that for the duration of the dream you do not
remember what has happened since that time? For example, if I
dream about being back in 2019, for as long as the dream lasts I
would not know anything about COVID. But for your objective we
would need to go back not just a few years but probably decades.
#Post#: 8215--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: guest60 Date: August 22, 2021, 10:06 am
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"...when we encounter evil, but this is when we face the choice
of either losing Original Nobility (by accepting the evil) or
retaining it (by refusing to accept the evil). "
When I was a child, maybe 3 or 4, I tried to run away from home
after facing some kind of injustice (physical violence?) from my
parents. I was seized and I think it was all downhill from
there, but I actually made the choice to refuse the evil, and
was probably manipulated in some manner to "choose" to stay from
that point on. I kept growing up trying not to forget, and when
I finally had the power to leave, I had already lost the very
thing I waited so long to protect. Why does it have to play out
like this?
"Have you ever had dreams in which you return to a time in the
past in such a way that for the duration of the dream you do not
remember what has happened since that time?"
I've had dreams where I am at a former job or place, or rarely
in school again, and in those it's like I return to being a
teenager. But, so what? Would you have to sit down and trace a
thread of memories back to your earliest moments?
Is there any relation to this pursuit of recovering Original
Nobility and spiritual practice, after all? Take Zen Buddhism.
Is a Satori experience, in fact, a re-acquaintance with one's
ON? Or are they two different things?
Anyone reading this, please join the discussion and give your
thoughts, or experiences. It seems nothing is more important
than keeping what little we, as adults, have left, and
recovering some of it, if possible.
#Post#: 8217--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: bondburger Date: August 22, 2021, 11:07 am
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long-time lurker with conflicted feelings here, but since you
asked ;)
90sRetroFan might be on to something when he said:
>It seems that different people can recover it to different
degrees. The further back into your childhood you can remember
to, the more of it should be recoverable.
I seem to remember further back than other people I speak to,
who of course do not share my feelings about the world. I am
confident that I still have memory of my 3rd birthday - and even
the night before. I also remember the feelings of innocence very
clearly (such as being horrified by the idea of scary films and
tapes with 18+ stickers on). I know that we're not really
supposed to hold memories back that far but they feel very very
real to me.
I've always been reminded of my Original Nobility by my parents,
they like recalling the time when I was 4 and confronted another
child much older than me for picking on someone else I didn't
know - and how I was still furious about it for the whole day
afterwards. That helps even though I don't remember those events
well enough myself.
I don't want to get too specific with the examples I remember,
but there were quite a few incidents I remember where I'd argue
with teachers in school for things I'd see as unfair. I remember
those cases well.
I'm sorry if this all sounds really self-congratulating from me
- that is not the intention. I feel lucky to have had the right
conditions to remember these feelings, which is the main reason
I am conflicted about this forum (which really isn't so
forgiving to those who don't feel this way). That's not meant to
condemn this forum - I certainly wasn't very forgiving when I
was little either!
One last thing is probably spending time with children - whether
that's as a job or whatever. I'd been living with young children
throughout my time living with parents - so I never forgot about
tantrums or how it feels to throw a tantrum. There is no
reasoning toddlers out of tantrums - they won't accept evil and
nor should we.
#Post#: 8227--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: guest55 Date: August 22, 2021, 5:41 pm
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I never stopped throwing "tantrums". :) I also remember every
time I was bullied or witnessed someone else get bullied. I used
to fantasize often how I would catch up with those bullies again
later in life and make them pay for what they did to others.
When I was really young I used to fantasize about sneaking into
my parents room while they were sleeping and smacking my
step-father in the head with a frying pan as hard as I could for
all the abuse I received from him. I regret not doing it.
What's been odd for myself as of late is my growing nostalgia
for certain smells. I think my favorite smell in this world is
old, damp, concrete. The type you would find in a cellar or the
basement of an old building. I cannot get enough of it! I also
really like the smell of old stone and the dust that comes off
of it. I used to explore old castle ruins a lot when I was
younger and living in England and Germany. I'm thinking that
perhaps this is where that nostalgia for those types of smells
is coming from. Strange that it's coming back around this late
in my life....
#Post#: 8241--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: 90sRetroFan Date: August 23, 2021, 12:12 am
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@DMAME
"I kept growing up trying not to forget, and when I finally had
the power to leave, I had already lost the very thing I waited
so long to protect. Why does it have to play out like this?"
I wouldn't say you have lost it completely. If you have, you
would be talking about how you now realize it was a mistake to
run away, and even thank your parents for stopping you. Instead,
you at least still think highly of your attempt to run away
(even though it was unsuccessful). All you seem to have lost,
based on what you have written, is a clear memory of what caused
you to run away and how you were manipulated to stay. Is this
memory what you are trying to get back? If so, you can try using
the method I outlined in my previous post.
"I've had dreams where I am at a former job or place, or rarely
in school again, and in those it's like I return to being a
teenager. But, so what? Would you have to sit down and trace a
thread of memories back to your earliest moments?"
Yes. For example, if you want to remember what caused you to run
away, you will need to go back to when you were 3 or 4 in the
way I described.
I personally find that if I spend the day experiencing something
new, complicated or otherwise mentally demanding, I will usually
dream of stuff related to what I did during the day. On the
other hand, if I spend my day doing simple and familiar things
only, it is much more likely that I can then dream back into the
past. You can try to see if this is true for you also.
This is another reason why Western civilization is the most
inferior civilization in history: it forces us to have many more
new experiences than any other civilization would have done. If
Western civilization had never existed, we could spend our whole
lives surrounded by roughly the same infrastructure and using
roughly the same knowledge. As it is, new machines are
constantly invented and integrated into infrastructure, which we
have to learn to get used to over and over again just to get
through the day, in the process of which our minds are actually
being dragged further and further from the past.
Here is a repost from the old forum of me talking about this
same point:
[quote]When I was a young child, I assumed that economy and
infrastructure would remain roughly the same throughout my life,
in other words that products/services in the future would be no
different and no more than those in the present, and day-to-day
activities would be done in much the same technical way when it
came my turn to do them as when I was as a child observing older
generations doing them. I of course was mistaken; today already
there exist many new products/services absent during my
childhood, and with this a new mode of everyday life that
requires learning a whole new set of meaningless technical
skills just to navigate (skills which will very soon become
obsolete again with the arrival of the next wave of inventions
that will require the learning of yet another, newer set of
equally meaningless skills, ad infinitum). But I have also come
to realize that my childhood assumption (which I am proud of for
guiding me to this truth) would have been wholly accurate had I
but been fortunate enough to live in more typical historical
periods. Most people throughout most of history around the world
took for granted the considerable aesthetic luxury of living
from birth to death in an economy and in infrastructure which
did not change all that much, and hence in a much less
disorienting, much more regular material lifestyle compared to
ours. It was Western civilization which denied me - denied all
of us - this lifestyle. (The most I can do for myself nowadays
is during my spare time to seek vicarious nostalgic comfort in
old movies/TV shows that depict the economy and infrastructure
back in my childhood years.)
But children in a post-Western future could once again live
their entire lives as their pure childhood imagination would
spontaneously expect to live, namely in the much more
aesthetically tranquil habitat of economic/infrastructural
repose. OK, there may be the occasional one or two new items
that get incorporated, but nothing that would change the whole
rhythm of everyday life within anyone’s lifetime; the habitat in
which they grow old would not be noticeably different from the
habitat in which they spent their childhoods. Is this alone not
worth destroying Western civilization for?[/quote]
"Is there any relation to this pursuit of recovering Original
Nobility and spiritual practice, after all? Take Zen Buddhism.
Is a Satori experience, in fact, a re-acquaintance with one's
ON? Or are they two different things?"
If we believe whoever first coined the term was doing this, then
yes. But we cannot be sure of this. The only thing I can say is
that the ambient conditions which facilitate either seem to be
similar (e.g. simple life, uneventful schedule, etc.). In other
words, Western civilization is adversarial to both.
[member=56]bondburger[/member]
"I seem to remember further back than other people I speak to,
who of course do not share my feelings about the world. I am
confident that I still have memory of my 3rd birthday"
The people you speak to do not represent a respectable standard.
"I know that we're not really supposed to hold memories back
that far"
Supposed according to whom? Westerners? In ancient times, it was
not uncommon for random people (not even necessarily ascetics)
to remember past lives FFS! This is how much Western
civilization has degraded spirituality.....
"I certainly wasn't very forgiving when I was little either!"
I hope you haven't become more forgiving now?
[member=55]Mazda[/member]
"nostalgia for certain smells"
I quite like the smell of paper in old books/magazines.
#Post#: 8399--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: Zea_mays Date: August 27, 2021, 5:28 pm
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[quote]When I was a child, maybe 3 or 4, I tried to run away
from home after facing some kind of injustice (physical
violence?) from my parents. I was seized and I think it was all
downhill from there, but I actually made the choice to refuse
the evil, and was probably manipulated in some manner to
"choose" to stay from that point on. I kept growing up trying
not to forget, and when I finally had the power to leave, I had
already lost the very thing I waited so long to protect. Why
does it have to play out like this?[/quote]
Have you ever tried writing down all the injustices you faced as
a child in a notebook? I filled out a dozen pages in a single
sitting, before I had to stop myself. In the end, I filled about
2 dozen pages before I had to step away. I'm sure I could fill
up many more if I resume... I had a very miserable childhood,
but I was shocked at how quickly the pages filled up, and how
distinctly all the memories seemed to come back. I distinctly
remembered the fury and misery I felt in each of those
situations.
Also, try remembering any pledges or promises you made to
yourself as a kid. Before I graduated highschool, I made myself
swear that I would never forget the psychological torture I
experienced there. I told myself that the evil I faced truly was
as bad as I thought it was, and that I was not just an
"overreacting child". I swore I would never become like my
parents and all the other adults in the world who LAUGH AT and
gaslight children when they complain about the misery school and
parents inflict on them. Almost immediately after I graduated,
the memories and pain began to fade--I saw how easy it is to
simply block it out from my memory and forget. I saw how easy it
was to become a callous adult. But I remember the promise I made
and the things I told myself in that moment, and I know I can
trust my past self's judgment about just how serious the evil I
had to endure was.
[quote]What's been odd for myself as of late is my growing
nostalgia for certain smells.[/quote]
If I'm not mistaken, scientific studies have shown that smell is
one of the strongest triggers of memories. The smell of mulch on
a playground, the smell of plastic or metal of toys we used to
play with, the smell of your grandparent's perfume, etc. could
all be useful for triggering memories of how we used to feel,
even if we don't remember a specific situation.
Rewatching things you may have been exposed to as a child could
also work. For example, movies or music videos. Years ago,
completely by chance, I stumbled across a music video and I got
the weirdest feeling watching it. I then realized it was burned
into my memory from childhood, but I had forgotten all about it
because my parents had essentially forbidden it.
Sharing my personal experience, I found that experiencing a work
of art that had many nostalgic parallels with my own life was
able to hit all the proper notes and unleashed all the emotions
I had been forced to repress over the years. I never imagined
that I would ever be able to feel even 1/10th of what I
eventually recovered.
I would caution against trying to trigger something like this
though, unless you are in the position to really let the
emotions flow over you and take full control. If you are having
your breakthrough moment, but forcibly numb yourself because you
value your performance at work or school more than becoming an
emotional wreck and thoroughly processing your feelings, then
you may never get a second chance to let your old self break
through.
And I doubt Western therapy methods would help with processing
things, since the Western approach to a mental breakdown seems
to be numbing the emotions with drugs and suppressing the
emotions with psychological techniques, so you can become
"functional" enough to get back to work or school. ...Rather
than actually fully processing the reasons and meaning of the
breakdown, however long it may take.
[quote]I quite like the smell of paper in old
books/magazines.[/quote]
Yes! As a kid, I also enjoyed thinking about all the previous
owners and readers of old books I owned or saw at the library.
#Post#: 8880--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: guest62 Date: September 18, 2021, 7:07 pm
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[quote]Is it even possible to recover it? Or does it die along
with innocence? Why does it leave us?[/quote]
I think it's partly due to puberty, at least that may be when
the majority of us suffer from the loss. I felt many of my noble
qualities begin to suffer at the onset. Part of me kept yearning
to fit in, to copy the other students. I started becoming more
aggressive and less mindful, unhappy with myself and nervous of
what others thought of me.
However, I've never lost my sense of justice, nor my
imagination. My parents despaired because I 'throw tantrums'
even as an adult, and I'm constantly day dreaming. How much we
can recover is most likely down to genetics.
#Post#: 8883--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: 90sRetroFan Date: September 18, 2021, 10:08 pm
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"I think it's partly due to puberty, at least that may be when
the majority of us suffer from the loss."
For reference:
HTML http://aryanism.net/blog/hashtali/the-ko-rule/comment-page-1/#comment-151417
#Post#: 8907--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I recover my Original Nobility?
By: SirGalahad Date: September 20, 2021, 8:11 pm
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This is a small tangent, but I may as well contribute with an
anecdote of my own. I'm the only male among my family members
who isn't circumcised. Fortunately, I lucked out since the
doctor that my mother trusted to do the procedure wasn't there
at the time, and she forgot about it. Considering I have fallen
victim to HBD and white nationalist propaganda in the past, I'm
convinced that my narrow escape of my own circumcision, as well
as other seemingly minor but (in actuality) traumatic events
that most people deal with as a child, are what kept me from
falling down completely into that abyss, or at the very least,
to give myself some credit as far as my own will is concerned,
from being stuck down there for even longer than I already was.
If I had been forced to undergo the procedure, who knows how
different I would have turned out. Either way, I'm glad I'm here
with you all
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