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#Post#: 163--------------------------------------------------
Election Fight!
By: Dmitri Date: October 3, 2012, 3:46 am
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Okay! Here we have it! In honor of the upcoming presidential
elections, we have a vs match of epic proportions!
The Arena: The Roman Coliseum
The Players: Bill Clinton, George Washington, John F. Kennedy,
Barack Obama vs Abe Lincoln, James Garfield, George Bush, and
Mitt Romney
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There will be various weapons laying around the arena, such a
short sword, net, and trident. The candidates will start on
opposite ends of the arena. If the fight lasts for ten minutes
or longer, three lions will be released upon the group!
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Who do you guys think will win?? Which side takes it? How do you
see the match turning out per player? Who kills who and how???
Let the debate...
BEGIN!
#Post#: 181--------------------------------------------------
Re: Election Fight!
By: The-Enchanted_k93 Date: October 7, 2012, 5:51 pm
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This is how I see it playing out…sorry it's rather long lol
Washington- the fighter
Clinton- the useless
JFK- the protector
Obama- the mole
Bush- the strong-armed
Romney- the narcissist
Garfield- the strategist
Lincoln- the peacekeeper
The teams would not stand for very long. It just wouldn't work.
The match begins…(new teams)
Obama, Lincoln, and Garfield
Washington and JFK (JFK becomes a bodyguard to Washington as it
is the person he most respects and it is not in his personality
to kill)
Clinton and Romney
Bush (the lone ranger)
Obama, Lincoln, and Garfield form an alliance (for obvious
reasons.) Obama appears to become the mastermind of the group
using Garfield as the muscle (the trident as his weapon) and
Lincoln as his “secretary.” Obama has no experience in combat
and since it has been said that Obama hasn’t done a thing in
office it would make since that he does nothing in battle as
well. He basically wanders the arena waiting to die.
Since Washington is the oldest in the group, his weapon choice
would be something simple and something he recognizes. Let’s say
the short sword. It also seems evident that Washington would
have strong ties to unity, so Obama’s betrayal has earned him
the title of being his first target.
In order to get to Obama, Washington must first make it through
Garfield and Lincoln. Garfield tries to use his size to his
advantage in the fight with Washington. JFK sees this coming and
pushes Washington out of the way, thereby saving him, but
actually succumbs to death himself….squished by Garfield. The
death of his soldier fuels Washington to begin an epic sword
fight with Garfield. While the men are fighting, Lincoln tries
to play peacekeeper and stop the fighting. Washington, with the
upper hand in close combat, eventually overtakes Garfield with a
precise cut to the abdomen.
-The lions are released-
Clinton and Romney- (the outcasts.) Quickly driven away by their
starting team members soon after the match begins, they seek
solitude with each other and use the net to make themselves
thigh-high Fishnets. Prancing around in the coliseum, oblivious
to the fighting, they wait until the lions emerge. They each
befriend one, strip it of its mane, and use it to make
themselves a skirt. The two mane-less lions become their
mascots, Muffins and Waffles. With their new outfits and pets,
they become the Coliseum’s cheerleaders.
All while this is happening, Bush is on the opposite side of the
arena polishing his weapon of choice. (being from Texas, it’s no
doubt that it’s a gun…assuming there is one) Let’s assume Kanye
was right and Bush does not like black people. This would make
Obama Bush’s first target. However, on his way to do the job,
Bush is taken aback by the beard of Obama’s secretary, Lincoln.
His mistakenly takes it to mean he is a terrorist and changes
his attack to be aimed at him instead. With the gun aimed at
Lincoln, the two cheerleaders squeal in terror at the sight of
it and cause the shot to miss and ricochet off of Washington’s
teeth. Lincoln still pleads for the madness to stop. (Lincoln
has no weapon…he chose to use his words) In the end, his words
aren’t heard and Bush kills Lincoln and leaves Obama to die by
the hands of Washington.
The third lion- Was a target of Bush (who labeled him a
terrorist as well for wearing a “hijab”) and ignored by his lion
friends (according to the third lion’s words, “They became
uptight wankers.”) he fled the arena and made his way to
Vancouver to create Lionsgate Entertainment.
In the end, Washington, Bush, Clinton, and Romney remain.
Washington forgives Bush for his poor shot as he killed Lincoln
leaving him an opening to get to Obama. They really have nothing
against each other so there is no motivation for anymore
killing. They each retreat to opposite ends of the arena.
Clinton and Romney have caused their lions to resent them for
taking away their manhood. They know that the other men have
pegged them both as non-threatening women, so in order for them
to die, the will have to be eaten. After their meal, Muffins
and Waffles flee the stadium like their former lion friend and
also head overseas to start their own company, MGM Studios Inc.
The final 2 men that remain have vowed not to partake in anymore
fighting. However, they still do not survive. The both die at
the exact same time clutching their throats…Bush by dehydration
and Washington by tiny slivers of wood from his teeth cutting
the inside of his throat causing massive internal bleeding.
With all the men in the Coliseum dead, the fight still rages
between the lions. The movie studios battle endlessly for what
seems like eternity finally making it to a point where a victor
emerges. Through what they THINK are a few calculated business
deals, Muffins and Waffles continually buy and sell their
business to bigger companies in hopes of increasing revenue.
When that doesn’t work, they are left with countless legal
issues that they can never get control over. They ultimately cut
their losses and pass all of their troubles onto a larger
company. In their depression, they leave California on a plane
not even bothering to check where they are going. Turns out they
land in Africa and still being without their manes, they are
labeled as “sissy-boys” by each one of the lion prides and
subsequently eaten by the younger males eager to show their
dominance.
The third lion flourishes in his new found career, but is never
really happy with his life. He decides to pass along his studio
to his predecessor and move to New York City. There, he meets a
lady friend (an understudy to Broadway’s Nala from The Lion King
who is actually a male lion in drag.) The two of them fall in
love and roam the streets of New York together. On the day of
their wedding, Nala decides to come clean and show her true
self. There at the altar, right before saying “I do”, Nala
reveals herself. With the “new” lion standing in front of him,
the third lion comes to the realization that he is in fact, gay.
With their love for each other stronger than ever, they decide
to seal their love forever in the form of statues. They become
Patience and Fortitude in front of New York City’s Public
Library.
Since they all ended up dead, I would pick the winner as the
third lion…he found some happiness.
#Post#: 196--------------------------------------------------
Re: Election Fight!
By: Dmitri Date: October 8, 2012, 4:57 am
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Holy hell...you just set the precedent for replies to these
battles xD
#Post#: 202--------------------------------------------------
Re: Election Fight!
By: The-Enchanted_k93 Date: October 8, 2012, 1:14 pm
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I'm sure I went overboard, but I rather enjoy these types of
things. Critical thinking is my specialty ;)
#Post#: 210--------------------------------------------------
Re: Election Fight!
By: Dmitri Date: October 9, 2012, 6:16 pm
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Well I officially give the win to...
-clears throat-
The Lion!!! Congrats mr.lion, you win internetz.
#Post#: 212--------------------------------------------------
Re: Election Fight!
By: The-Enchanted_k93 Date: October 9, 2012, 8:44 pm
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I'm sure he's very pleased.
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