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#Post#: 3158--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mama D is still in the hospital
DIR By: dinkleburg
Date: March 4, 2019, 3:53 pm
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--- Quote from: AJ link ---
>
> That is hospice care then..My only surviving Aunt just entered
that phase as well. She's 92. Completely her decision. She was
diagnosed with late stage liver and kidney cancer, and decided
she didn't want to go through with treatment. Chances are any
results would be short lived at best anyway, given her age. Her
exact words were, "I've lived a long time, I'm tired and ready
to go." They'll give her however much relief from pain as she
wants. She's a great lady, and always been a strong one. I got
to spend a lot of quality time with her at Christmas. Her
spirits were high.
> Sounds like your Ma is taking this phase on her own terms. You
gotta respect that. People get tired. I know how difficult this
is for all involved Dan. Keep your chin up Buddy.
>
--- End Quote ---
--- Quote ---
>
> "I've lived a long time, I'm tired and ready to go."
--- End Quote ---
Mama D's words were very similar. She hurts all of the time from
severe arthritis, and has lost her independence and her ability
to perform even simple tasks.
I think she mostly just wants the pain to stop. They tried to
put her on a light opioid, but it didn't sit too well with her.
I can't imagine being in her situation and not at least
considering this option.
Still, it's very difficult for me to come to terms with it. :'(
#Post#: 3167--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mama D is still in the hospital
DIR By: AJ
Date: March 4, 2019, 6:26 pm
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--- Quote from: dinkleburg link ---
>
>
>
> Still, it's very difficult for me to come to terms with it.
:'(
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, it is.With my Mother, it fell to me to make the decision to
let her go. When it came to that point, she'd been a vegetable
for two years. Her Doctor called me and asked if we could meet.
My brother and Sister decided they didn't need to be
there.(Thanks >:()
We had a long talk and basically impressed upon me the situation
would never improve. I had a hard time getting past the idea
that removing her feeding tube was not starving her to death. it
took me a couple of weeks to decide that, A) I, nor anyone had
any idea if she was even feeling any pain at that point. B) If
she was, keeping her alive, if only to salve my conscious.. Was
cruel.
I still get upset thinking about it.
It didn't take but about a week until she went into renal
failure, and I was with her the last 9 hours of her life. :'(
#Post#: 3182--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mama D is still in the hospital
DIR By: dinkleburg
Date: March 5, 2019, 9:57 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: AJ link ---
>
> [quote author=dinkleburg link=topic=334.msg3158#msg3158
date=1551736398]
>
>
> Still, it's very difficult for me to come to terms with it.
:'(
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, it is.With my Mother, it fell to me to make the decision to
let her go. When it came to that point, she'd been a vegetable
for two years. Her Doctor called me and asked if we could meet.
My brother and Sister decided they didn't need to be
there.(Thanks >:()
We had a long talk and basically impressed upon me the situation
would never improve. I had a hard time getting past the idea
that removing her feeding tube was not starving her to death. it
took me a couple of weeks to decide that, A) I, nor anyone had
any idea if she was even feeling any pain at that point. B) If
she was, keeping her alive, if only to salve my conscious.. Was
cruel.
I still get upset thinking about it.
It didn't take but about a week until she went into renal
failure, and I was with her the last 9 hours of her life. :'(
[/quote]
I too, have a sibling who wants little to no part of Mama and
the late Papa D's life, now that things are less than pleasant.
It makes me angry/resentful sometimes, but I have to put that
aside and focus on what's truly important.
Sorry it was left solely up to you to have to make such an
important decision, Jim. Me and my second sister are pretty
close, and she and I have been helping our parents out quite a
bit during the last 5 years or so. I can't imagine having to do
this alone, and I am thankful everyday that she is here for me,
and I am here for her.
#Post#: 3197--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mama D is still in the hospital
DIR By: AJ
Date: March 5, 2019, 6:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: dinkleburg link ---
>
> [quote author=AJ link=topic=334.msg3167#msg3167
date=1551745601]
> [quote author=dinkleburg link=topic=334.msg3158#msg3158
date=1551736398]
>
>
> Still, it's very difficult for me to come to terms with it.
:'(
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, it is.With my Mother, it fell to me to make the decision to
let her go. When it came to that point, she'd been a vegetable
for two years. Her Doctor called me and asked if we could meet.
My brother and Sister decided they didn't need to be
there.(Thanks >:()
We had a long talk and basically impressed upon me the situation
would never improve. I had a hard time getting past the idea
that removing her feeding tube was not starving her to death. it
took me a couple of weeks to decide that, A) I, nor anyone had
any idea if she was even feeling any pain at that point. B) If
she was, keeping her alive, if only to salve my conscious.. Was
cruel.
I still get upset thinking about it.
It didn't take but about a week until she went into renal
failure, and I was with her the last 9 hours of her life. :'(
[/quote]
I too, have a sibling who wants little to no part of Mama and
the late Papa D's life, now that things are less than pleasant.
It makes me angry/resentful sometimes, but I have to put that
aside and focus on what's truly important.
Sorry it was left solely up to you to have to make such an
important decision, Jim. Me and my second sister are pretty
close, and she and I have been helping our parents out quite a
bit during the last 5 years or so. I can't imagine having to do
this alone, and I am thankful everyday that she is here for me,
and I am here for her.
[/quote]
At the time, I just held it in and did what needed to be done.
My wife was a great help when I was truly despairing. Several
years later though, I spoke to both my siblings about how I felt
about it at the time...And I think they needed to hear me
address it, as they both got the opportunity to express their
sorrow at failing me at the time. Both of them were moved to
tears...So then I felt bad...Lol....So was I instrumental in
denying myself some righteous anger....Lol.....All turned well I
suppose. We all get along great when we get together, which
isn't very often.
#Post#: 3257--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mama D is still in the hospital
DIR By: dinkleburg
Date: March 11, 2019, 11:30 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: AJ link ---
>
> [quote author=dinkleburg link=topic=334.msg3182#msg3182
date=1551801447]
> [quote author=AJ link=topic=334.msg3167#msg3167
date=1551745601]
> [quote author=dinkleburg link=topic=334.msg3158#msg3158
date=1551736398]
>
>
> Still, it's very difficult for me to come to terms with it.
:'(
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, it is.With my Mother, it fell to me to make the decision to
let her go. When it came to that point, she'd been a vegetable
for two years. Her Doctor called me and asked if we could meet.
My brother and Sister decided they didn't need to be
there.(Thanks >:()
We had a long talk and basically impressed upon me the situation
would never improve. I had a hard time getting past the idea
that removing her feeding tube was not starving her to death. it
took me a couple of weeks to decide that, A) I, nor anyone had
any idea if she was even feeling any pain at that point. B) If
she was, keeping her alive, if only to salve my conscious.. Was
cruel.
I still get upset thinking about it.
It didn't take but about a week until she went into renal
failure, and I was with her the last 9 hours of her life. :'(
[/quote]
I too, have a sibling who wants little to no part of Mama and
the late Papa D's life, now that things are less than pleasant.
It makes me angry/resentful sometimes, but I have to put that
aside and focus on what's truly important.
Sorry it was left solely up to you to have to make such an
important decision, Jim. Me and my second sister are pretty
close, and she and I have been helping our parents out quite a
bit during the last 5 years or so. I can't imagine having to do
this alone, and I am thankful everyday that she is here for me,
and I am here for her.
[/quote]
At the time, I just held it in and did what needed to be done.
My wife was a great help when I was truly despairing. Several
years later though, I spoke to both my siblings about how I felt
about it at the time...And I think they needed to hear me
address it, as they both got the opportunity to express their
sorrow at failing me at the time. Both of them were moved to
tears...So then I felt bad...Lol....So was I instrumental in
denying myself some righteous anger....Lol.....All turned well I
suppose. We all get along great when we get together, which
isn't very often.
[/quote]
My bro and I had a huge fight just before Christmas 2017. It
wasn't originally about our parents, but it quickly went there.
Things are still a bit awkward between us, and I no longer stay
at the Dinklefarm, although I do go out there for short visits.
Families are complicated, it seems. ;D
#Post#: 3277--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mama D is still in the hospital
DIR By: AJ
Date: March 11, 2019, 6:51 pm
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I had horrid fights with my siblings in the past...After Dad
died, I decided I would not things escalate like that anymore.
So I just avoid topics that might cause friction. It
works...Although it leads to a lot of muttering under my breath
at times.
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