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       #Post#: 1140--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dayum..Tom Petty?
       By: Evil Imp Date: October 5, 2017, 4:03 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Bucky link=topic=110.msg1139#msg1139
       date=1507234280]
       Yesterday was my birthday, and I remembered how suicidal I was
       from 22-23, and I was lucky to survive those years.
       [/quote]
       a belated happy birthday bucky
       #Post#: 1141--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dayum..Tom Petty?
       By: AJ Date: October 5, 2017, 5:46 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Happy Birthday Bucky, and excuse my tardiness Little Brother..
       It really saddens me that both you Bucky, and Imp think/thought
       of suicide. There have been times in my life when I wished I was
       dead, but I never contemplated killing myself.
       Then again the early exits the men in my family tree taken via
       health were I thought insurance against longevity, and what ever
       suffering I was experiencing at those times would be remedied
       soon enough by my genetics.
       I had a abnormal PSA test a couple of weeks ago and went to a
       Urologist last week, they performed a series of tests including
       a finger up my ass...The second time in as many weeks. Discussed
       what the high PSA could mean, and given my family history with
       prostate cancer that we need to be proactive and he had the
       nurse draw another blood sample. He called back today and said
       the PSA (whatever the fuck that is) was lower, and he didn't
       think a biopsy was necessary, yet, but wanted me to come in and
       give another sample next week.
       Mu father had prostate cancer, my younger brother has been
       fighting it for years. So I hope that's not it.
       I haven't told the Wife or The Lad about any of this....I figure
       why worry them until there is something to worry about y'know.
       #Post#: 1144--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dayum..Tom Petty?
       By: indigo_dave Date: October 5, 2017, 6:09 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I had a lot of anxiety in my 20's. And most of my life. Life was
       a struggle emotionally many of my years. Who said that "most men
       live lives of quiet desperation" ?  I can google it.  Anyway I
       will state the obvious.  I think that finding something that
       fills you with that psychic/mental/emotional/whatever
       satisfaction is the key to happiness. Unfortunately for me it
       was music,  and I wasn't working in that for a daily living.
       But OTOH, there could be several of these magic bullets - the
       thing that fulfills you. Yes I'm stoned.
       But,  if we grew up in age of doing without, we'd be happy just
       to earn our daily bread.   We are a product of our times. My
       mother grew up in SW Georgia. Her father was a sharecropper.
       Many of us here had grandfathers or great grandfathers with
       similar stories.
       Anyway, back to aging and death.  This is something I've thought
       a lot about.  I want an assisted suicide plan in place (gotta
       get to work on this) to (ideally) be injected  with an overdose
       of some sort of euphoric opioid if, lets say, 3 out of 5
       criteria or 7 out of 10 criteria were met.  Let's say I can't
       get on and off the toilet. Or let's say I can't wipe my ass (no,
       I'm not trying to be funny).  But OTOH,  there may be
       elder-robots at some point that can assist with things like
       these.  So who knows.
       BUT...I have all of my adult life been mindful of what I ate and
       trying to walk or bike with some regularity. Not necessarily
       athletically. So I'm hoping to be active to my late 80's.  In my
       unscientific observation 81-84 seems to be the sweet spot for
       people dying.  Forget about coke snorting, late nighting, what
       not musicians.  They don't count.  But I see women all the time
       who are morbidly obese. At my Chipotle (I get a burrito bowl
       with brown rice, chicken, fajita veggies, diced tomatoes, corn)
       I noticed 3 women who work the line that are at least 100 lbs
       over. One is maybe 150 over.  What kind of life do they think
       they will be having. My theory (I'm full of theories)  is that
       you MUST be consuming at least 60-70 ounces of sugar Coke per
       day. I worked with someone who did at least that.
       You must think, "what can it do now to mitigate (just googled it
       to make sure I'm using it correctly) my aging process". Save
       money NOW. Every month . For your old age.  Exercise most days
       of the week.  Have some alternative activity for when you don't
       want to do your other one.  I had neuropathy symptoms maybe 1
       1/2 years ago.  I went to physical therapy and got it treated. I
       asked the P.T.  what I could do to try and be preventitive. He
       said what we were doing at the time. So I have a 2, 5 and 7 lb
       dumbell - only one of each. I do a little routine for maybe
       12-15 minutes virtually every day. I think it also helps my
       piano playing. Stands to reason that having some tone in my
       rotator cuff and arms can't hurt.
       You gotta think ahead.  Stoned rant.
       #Post#: 1149--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dayum..Tom Petty?
       By: Bucky Date: October 5, 2017, 6:55 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=AJ link=topic=110.msg1141#msg1141 date=1507243603]
       Happy Birthday Bucky, and excuse my tardiness Little Brother..
       It really saddens me that both you Bucky, and Imp think/thought
       of suicide. There have been times in my life when I wished I was
       dead, but I never contemplated killing myself.
       Then again the early exits the men in my family tree taken via
       health were I thought insurance against longevity, and what ever
       suffering I was experiencing at those times would be remedied
       soon enough by my genetics.
       I had a abnormal PSA test a couple of weeks ago and went to a
       Urologist last week, they performed a series of tests including
       a finger up my ass...The second time in as many weeks. Discussed
       what the high PSA could mean, and given my family history with
       prostate cancer that we need to be proactive and he had the
       nurse draw another blood sample. He called back today and said
       the PSA (whatever the fuck that is) was lower, and he didn't
       think a biopsy was necessary, yet, but wanted me to come in and
       give another sample next week.
       Mu father had prostate cancer, my younger brother has been
       fighting it for years. So I hope that's not it.
       I haven't told the Wife or The Lad about any of this....I figure
       why worry them until there is something to worry about y'know.
       [/quote]
       I didn't just contemplate. January 2015, I made an earnest
       attempt. I ended an eight year relationship in September... I
       was suicidal every single day for over two months until I ended
       it with her. I was sobbing in the bathtub and straight up told
       her I didn't want to live anymore, and she said she needed to
       leave the room. I couldn't find any solace in her, so I found a
       friend online who I fell in love with. She tried to kill
       herself, and I thought she was dead until I discovered her new
       Facebook page in May 2015. After all that, I found an old high
       school friend in January, fell hard for her, and her mood swings
       and mind games pushed me to drink, and I wanted to drink until I
       died.
       Ultimately, I had to pull myself out of that slump, and I'm not
       sure how other than my writing and music.
       #Post#: 1158--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dayum..Tom Petty?
       By: AJ Date: October 5, 2017, 8:53 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Bucky link=topic=110.msg1149#msg1149
       date=1507247756]
       [quote author=AJ link=topic=110.msg1141#msg1141 date=1507243603]
       Happy Birthday Bucky, and excuse my tardiness Little Brother..
       It really saddens me that both you Bucky, and Imp think/thought
       of suicide. There have been times in my life when I wished I was
       dead, but I never contemplated killing myself.
       Then again the early exits the men in my family tree taken via
       health were I thought insurance against longevity, and what ever
       suffering I was experiencing at those times would be remedied
       soon enough by my genetics.
       I had a abnormal PSA test a couple of weeks ago and went to a
       Urologist last week, they performed a series of tests including
       a finger up my ass...The second time in as many weeks. Discussed
       what the high PSA could mean, and given my family history with
       prostate cancer that we need to be proactive and he had the
       nurse draw another blood sample. He called back today and said
       the PSA (whatever the fuck that is) was lower, and he didn't
       think a biopsy was necessary, yet, but wanted me to come in and
       give another sample next week.
       Mu father had prostate cancer, my younger brother has been
       fighting it for years. So I hope that's not it.
       I haven't told the Wife or The Lad about any of this....I figure
       why worry them until there is something to worry about y'know.
       [/quote]
       I didn't just contemplate. January 2015, I made an earnest
       attempt. I ended an eight year relationship in September... I
       was suicidal every single day for over two months until I ended
       it with her. I was sobbing in the bathtub and straight up told
       her I didn't want to live anymore, and she said she needed to
       leave the room. I couldn't find any solace in her, so I found a
       friend online who I fell in love with. She tried to kill
       herself, and I thought she was dead until I discovered her new
       Facebook page in May 2015. After all that, I found an old high
       school friend in January, fell hard for her, and her mood swings
       and mind games pushed me to drink, and I wanted to drink until I
       died.
       Ultimately, I had to pull myself out of that slump, and I'm not
       sure how other than my writing and music.
       [/quote]
       Shit buddy....That makes me sad, but doesn't lessen my love and
       respect for you. It informs me more than ever about your music.
       I knew you had sadness in your life but I guess I never realized
       to what extent.
       The strength is your own however. Your music is simply your
       journal. The strength is all your own...It was always within
       you....
       Love is a much stronger force for joy and pain when you are
       young. The older you get, you see it's real power, which is far
       beyond the sexual and romantic values which are prevalent
       through the narrow prisms of youth. I think you are realizing
       those things now however.
       
       #Post#: 1303--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dayum..Tom Petty?
       By: AJ Date: October 14, 2017, 10:10 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Podcast of Terry Gross's 2006 NPR interview with Tom
       Petty...Only about thirty minutes but I enjoyed it.
  HTML http://www.npr.org/2017/10/03/555302003/tom-petty-to-fresh-air-the-songs-mean-a-lot-to-people-and-it-means-a-lot-to-me
  HTML http://www.npr.org/2017/10/03/555302003/tom-petty-to-fresh-air-the-songs-mean-a-lot-to-people-and-it-means-a-lot-to-me
       #Post#: 1307--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Dayum..Tom Petty?
       By: indigo_dave Date: October 15, 2017, 6:05 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I think I caught the re-broadcast of that. IIRC the interview
       was from 2006. It was interesting hearing Petty's mind at work.
       Conversationally speaking.
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