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#Post#: 6--------------------------------------------------
My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: Katya
Date: October 27, 2012, 8:51 pm
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Dear all
Please post the 2 paragraphs that correspond to exercise 3,
Learning Activity 3.
Hope to see you around!
Katya
#Post#: 24--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: ilikeonkeys
Date: November 4, 2012, 6:40 pm
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Hi Ms Katya!
These are my first two paragraphs.
1st paragraph: First of all, its a fantastic experience that
will last forever. Studies show that experience seems to be the
most popular way of learning. Better than a book. Its not only
about learning but about having a good time too! So would you
rather lay around on your couch all day long readind a book and
getting tempted by how great something sounds? Or would you
rather have fun, learn, socialise and make the best out of your
time with an unforgetable experience?
2nd paragraph; Secondly you learn a LOT more from expereince
than books. Some people say its better to learn from a book
because it provides a lot of information and pictures. But its
all fake! Obviously they dont realise that sedentary activity is
bad for their health! Yes, reading a book or watching TV for a
long period of time because it makes you lazy, fat and boring.
Would you like that? Whereas if you were experimenting how to do
something you are being active not only to your body but for
your brain to! Did you know that after practising something a
few times, your brain automatically remembers. It comes in handy
when you want to do something alone! Also in books, some people
as they have never done that specific thing might think its fake
and might want to try it out themselves. The problem is they may
not realise they may be doing something dangerous like spilling
gas next to fire!
Angelica Maria Alvarez 7JT
#Post#: 26--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: Katya
Date: November 4, 2012, 7:11 pm
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Dear Angelica
I'm surprised...what a great job you have done. I think this is
a very good piece of writing. Ideas have been clearly presented
and paragraphing has been well.managed.
Please remember that formal writing should not contain
contractions, that is, it's and don't. Also, check these words:
"whereas" and "if". How different are they? How are they used?
You have reached the end of the online acitvity and you should
be very proud of yourself!! Well done!! :)
#Post#: 33--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: Juan Ignacio
Date: November 5, 2012, 4:26 pm
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Hi Katya,
These are my first two paragraphs.
1st Paragraph:
To begin with, sports is not only entertaining and fun but also
keeps you healthier and fit. Playing sports reduces the
possibility of having severe diseases s such as diabetes, high
blood pressure, obesity and some types of cancer. Do you really
want the possibility of you having these terrible things higher?
Obviously some people do not realize how much not doing sport
can harm their health. Sports dose not only help you stay
physically healthy but also mentally. sports can make you gain
self-confidence because, for example if you are playing soccer,
you have the chance of scoring a goal, just believe in yourself
and do it. This skill will develop throughout the time you play
sports, and you will realize that it is only a mental thing and
that you can do it if you believe in yourself.
2nd Paragraph:
Furthermore the majority of the sports include more than one
person working to achieve the same goal, this is called
teamwork, it is crucial that you have this skill, if you do not,
sports is a good way to start gaining this quality. Two people
might hate each other off the field but when they are on it they
just take their minds off of it and work together to achieve a
goal, therefore sports can also help people earn the quality of
friendship. Sport can also help you integrate to different
activities. If you are a shy person but as well an excellent
football player, when you play football, you stop being shy and
your shyness disappears not only for football but for everything
you do.
- Juan Ignacio Carrillo 7JT
Dear Juan Ignacio
Very well-written paragraphs. I really love the topic you chose
because I love playing and watching sports. Please revise run-on
sentences and use of capital letters.
Fantastic Job!!!
Katya
#Post#: 50--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: nathalie heller
Date: November 8, 2012, 6:39 pm
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Informative text: What is a healthy diet? Why is it good to keep
a healthy diet?
Many people do not know what a healthy diet is. Junk food is not
good and if we eat it all the time, we will get fat and are
stomach will hurt frequently. A healthy diet is a diet where not
a lot of junk food is consumed and healthy food like vegetables
and fruits are eaten frequently. Proteins that are found in
fish, red meat, beans and others are essential for growth and
repair. Calcium, which is found in daily products like milk, is
very important because if a break a bone, this will fix it.
Carbohydrates, like starch and sugar gives us energy and it
allows us to do the process for energy (respiration). Vitamins
are needed in very small amounts to keep body processes working
properly. If we do not consume frequently all of these or if we
do not consume frequently one of these, we won´t have what that
nutrient provides us. Fibre cannot be consumed but it is very
important because it prevents constipation. We should eat all
nutrients that are requiered to have a healthy diet.
A healthy diet would be to eat a little bit of foods that
containvitamins and minarals, protein, calcium, carbohydrates
and fibre. Also, water is really important because we, human
beings are 70% water. When we are doing some sport, we sweat and
each time we sweat we loose a little bit of that 70%. To have
the correct amount of water we have to drink some water that
will replace what we lost. We use the word 'dehydrated' for when
we need more water. Remember to keep a healthy diet and remember
every nutrient is important for human beings!
Nathalie Heller Year8WR
Nathalie Heller Year 8WR
Dear Natahlie
This is a very good piece of writing. I think the topic is
really interesting and appropriate for young people who believe
that just by eating junk food, everything will be alright. great
job!!!
Please, revise deifference between our and are, loose and lose.
Remember contractions are not used in formal writing. What do
you mean by "if a break bone"?
Well done!!!
Katya
#Post#: 51--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: NicoleMontgomery
Date: November 8, 2012, 6:46 pm
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Why is Reading so Important?
Introduction:
Many people may ask themselves the same question; “Why is it
so important to read?” Well this question has a very easy answer
due to the many reasons why reading is such an important task
within someone’s lifetime. Even though some people may consider
reading as an unexciting and sometimes boring activity, there
are many advantages that this hobby will give you, not only
mentally but in the entertainment field as well.
Supporting Sentences, Paragraph 1:
Have you ever been bored? Of course you have! Reading will
guarantee you some individual fun when you start feeling fed up.
A book is very easy to carry around so it is basically like
carrying around a portable T.V! Who would not want that? When
reading you will be able to find yourself in a world of fantasy,
where everything is possible. A place where you can escape from
your life and be engaged with what the characters want, feel,
say and do. The best part is that you can choose what type of
excitement you want to feel: mystery, romance, comedy and such
topics.
Second Paragraph: Most school students or even adults never
think about how many intellectual benefits reading has to offer.
First of all, there are certain types of information that cannot
be easily acquired by personal experience or such. For example,
you will not be able to obtain information about subjects like
World War 1, Henry VIII from everyday life. Reading has many
talents to offer your brain, as well. This activity increases
your ability to vocalize clearly, it bumps up your creativity,
lowers stress levels and most importantly it gives you knowledge
that you will be able to cherish for the rest of your life,
apart from everything else that might not always be there for
you.
Conclusion:All in all reading is a magnificent activity so get
out a book and start reading! You cannot imagine how many
benefits reading will give you and that is why it is such an
important task to complete regularly in someone’s life. Every
time you feel bored just think about how much fun you could be
having and how much you could be learning if you were reading a
book.
Nicole Montgomery 8YWR
Dear Nicole
I loved these paragraphs. Very clearly written and interesting.
Do you read a lot? I bet you do.
Great job!!!
For the record, headings arenot necessary. The word
"information" is an uncountable noun, so noplural for is
appropriate.
Katya
#Post#: 52--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: Gabriella Mentasti
Date: November 8, 2012, 6:57 pm
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Why we should wear uniforms.
My first paragraph:
First of all we should wear uniforms, because we become more
organized, because we know what to wear so then we do not throw
everything out of the closet. To add to this point uniforms also
help you in the morning because you do not waste precious time
trying to find the right clothes. In other ways uniforms also
help like for example in bullying situations and peer pressure
etc. So, when you have different clothes some people bully you
because of it, but if we all have the same clothes no one can
make fun of somebody else, so this stops some bullying. Uniforms
also stop some peer pressure, for example there is a little girl
who wears different things but not because she likes what she is
wearing, but because her peers pressured her into buying the
clothes she is wearing, so you can now see how this helps peer
pressure and bullying. But although this solves some of the
problems it does not solve every problem.
My second paragraph:
Second of all, it is good to have uniforms in school and work
because it gives you a sense of solidarity, as if we were all in
this together, plus you show respect towards the place where you
work or go to school which in my opinion makes a nicer
environment. Meanwhile everywhere in the world there are some
schools were there is no security guard, so random people can
come into the school while being unnoticed, then steal something
etc. But if you have a uniform then they know you go there to
school and they throw the guys who do not go to school there
out. The last thing I want to add is that some people say you
can not express yourselves through uniforms but I think it
nonsense, you can express yourselves through personality as
well. So, in conclusion I would say that wearing uniforms is a
bit better than not wearing uniforms although there are also
many reasons about why we should not have uniform.
Dear Gabriela
You have chosen an very interesting topic and have presented
really interesting point on the benefits of wearing a uniform
I recommned you find a way of better connecting your supporting
ideas by using different connectors. Also, check verb tenses so
that you do not mix the present and the past. The conclusion
should be separated from the rest of the paragraph.
Fantastic job!!!
Katya
#Post#: 56--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: katalina.lopez
Date: November 8, 2012, 8:56 pm
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Hi ms. Katya,
Here is my two paragraphs.
You should stand for yourself in order to earn respect from
others and demonstrate self-esteem. It is a fact that when one
shows weakness or insecurity during peer pressure, kids trying
to bully you or during adversity, others might take advantage
and use it to hurt you. Standing for yourself says a lot about
your inner-strength and character.
Paragraph 1:
Having the courage to stand for yourself will help you face life
properly and prevent you from running away during hardship or
hostile situations. It helps you to face those that are trying
to hurt you either physically or emotionally. In many ways is
like the law of the jungle, only the strong survive. Standing
for yourself also avoids you being influence by other people in
a bad way and causing future regrets.
Paragraph 2:
It takes a person to have several important traits such as inner
–courage, strong believes and self respect in order to stand for
themselves and to stand for what is right. There are many people
that enjoy bullying and get great pleasure from other’s
miseries. These people when face with someone that stands for
themselves become intimidated by the individual’s conviction.
In conclusion, we must be strong, confident, courageous and
possess conviction in order to stand for yourself at all times
and not allow others to influence you in a negative way.
Dear Katalina
Very interesting topic the one you have chosen, and a difficult
one to deal with.
Please revise theuse of passive forms of verbs, and try to use
more connectors to join your supporting ideas.
Great Job!!!
Katya
#Post#: 58--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: ManuCGB
Date: November 9, 2012, 6:49 pm
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here are my 2 paragraphs
1st: to begin with, roller coasters are never going to be un
safe, roller coasters are made with the best safety objects ever
made in man kind. Some people say that “i thought i was going to
die” “i´m having a heart attack” and things like that but
actually you mind makes all of those think because you go up and
down.
2nd: secondly roller coasters change the sensation you fill, its
only because of one reason your mind gets use to it, roller
coasters is the best thing you imagine, but theirs more than one
kind of roller coasters theirs elevators that take you high and
then brings you down really fast, and lots of others to. if you
have heart attacks, pregnant or even some exacts heights that
you need to be.
Manuela Marulanda ;)
Dear Manuela
I love roller coasters even though when i get off them, I'm
scared to death. Great topic.
Please revise your writing because there are spelling mistakes
as well as punctuation ones. Also, revise your punctuation so
that there are no run-on sentences. You should consider the
possibility of using connectors to join your supporting details.
Very good job!!!
Katya
#Post#: 67--------------------------------------------------
Re: My First Two Paragraphs
DIR By: lukascote
Date: November 12, 2012, 6:23 pm
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Hi Katya, here are my two paragraphs:
Why you should limit your time on the computer.
As young people, we really enjoy playing new games on the
computer or downloading our favorite series or movies. But do
you know that staying too long in front of the computer screen
can be bad for you? For example, our eyes are not designed to
focus on something two feet away from us for hours at a time and
by staying too long in front of the computer, you may start
having some symptoms like double vision. Also, if you do not sit
well when you type on the computer, you may have some back
problems or even damage your neck in the long run. Finally,
there are recent studies that show that staring too long at the
monitor can even cause insomnia.
All these reasons do not mean that we must stop using the
computer all together, it just mean that we should limit more
the time that we spend in front of the computer and take some
breaks like going to play outside with our friends. This way we
will be able to enjoy the great things about the computer for a
very long time. :o
Lukas Cote 7jp
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