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#Post#: 660--------------------------------------------------
;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: F l y i n g r o c k s
Date: September 25, 2012, 7:13 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[center][font=georgia]Name:
Darkkit
Age:
5 moons
Gender:
Male
Alliance:
ThunderClan
Rank:
Kit
Appearance (6 or more sentences):
Darkkit is a little taller for his age, having longer legs than
most kittens would have his age. But his fur is like the night
sky, though without the stars. It is rather a beautiful shade of
black, as his eyes are like the moon, a rather bright and
imitating dark blue color that everyone seems to find rather
amazing. His nose is a bright shade of pink though, which
sticks out like a sore thumb. But everything else about him
seems quite well. Though he is not a little buff kitten, which
obviously he won't be at his age, he still looks great, with
longish fur and amazing eyes, it's a wonder what his parents
must have looked like. His ears are a little small, but they
aren't rather pointy, they curve around the tips of them. His
tail is kinda long, having some hair hang from the bottom of his
tail. His paws though are not that usual pink at all, they are
black, except for one, which is his back left foot, having a
weird pink pattern on it, but his other paws are indeed black,
making it hard to see at times. But basically Darkkit is a
handsome looking tom, but has some down points.
Personality (6 or more sentences):
He has a rather calm personality, not very known to get hyper
over anything, and just acts like a very cool cat. You will see
Darkkit often standing around staring off into space half the
time, since he thinks a lot. Darkkit tends to get sarcastic as
well, though he is not mean, he just likes to joke around as he
is not completely antisocial. He loves to joke around with his
friends, especially the ones that are rather gullible and fun to
make fun of. But he is also a very brave kitten, able to come
up to anything without seeming to be scared one bit, not even
animals 10 times his height, and loves to be the one that
protect those that he cares for deeply. Though he can be brave,
he is known to be stubborn as well, sticking to what he believes
is right, or doing what he wants to do, and at times he can be
cold and mean without meaning to. Though this is the case, he
is still a nice cat to talk to, especially when he is not
thinking too much and seems to be happy. Though Darkkit has a
tendency to sneak off at night towards the forest, despite that
he can't at his age. He likes to go to the woods to think off,
and the scenery to him is rather beautiful it's hard not to go
there at least once.
---Likes (at least 3):
Zoning off, being sarcastic, fighting
--- Dislikes (at least 3):
Spiders, and any other bug, annoying kittens that jump around
and scream half the time and those that are too scared to even
come out from the nursery, birds
---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
he is a brave cat, not too easily angered, strong, smart
---Weaknesses (At least 3):
Bugs and birds, when his friends are into trouble (( it's the
moment where he doesn't think, and just jumps into action, and
sometimes he doesn't think it though, or he just tries to save
them no matter what, it is a weakness, because if a cat does
this sometimes they can manipulate him to do something he
doesn't want to )), annoying cats xD
History (at least 6 sentences):
It was a mystery of where this tom came from, their parents were
nowhere to be found when the little kit was found outside of
their border. One warrior decided to take the tom into the
clan, that warrior being what he considers like his dad, but
soon the leader decided to take the kitten in, instead of
leaving him back into the woods. But soon he had an adopted
mother, Darkkit never calling her mother though as soon he was
raised as a little Thunderclan kit. This happened not too long
ago, as he is still a kit, though he was founded when he was
about 1 moon old, so it had been 4 moons since that day. But
Darkkit is thankful of them taking them in, but he often wonders
to himself, What were his real parents? Why did they leave him
there? Where are his real parents? Was he just such a bother
that they just left him here? What was the reason for their
actions?
Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):
Awww icky... i hate having to do a Roleplaying Sample xD, but
here
sorry it sucks *cough*:
It was midnight at the little camp we call ThunderClan. Here
most of the cats were sleeping... Well, except for little
Darkkit, who was outside of the nursery, and a guard that was on
standby. The tall black kitten was waving his tail back and
forth, not liking how the guard was not moving at all, he wanted
to go to the forest, and he wanted to now before his adopted
mother or some other kitten wakes up. After what felt like an
hour though the guard did not move at all. Ahh come on... Why
isn't he moving? he thought to himself, the kitten narrowing his
blue eyes as soon he just decided to take a huge risk... which
was to walk out. But soon when he quickly ran towards the
tree... He started to hear what seemed like snoring. Frowning,
he looked towards where the snoring was located... realizing
that the guard was asleep. Smirking now, the tom started to
head off before the guard woke up, heading towards the forest
with no care in the world Ah finally....
Comments (optional):
Whoo this one's done~
but hmmm... do we need any other cats for the other clans? C:, i
wouldn't mind making another one
#Post#: 770--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: F l y i n g r o c k s
Date: September 26, 2012, 1:18 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[center][font=lucida calligraphy]bump
#Post#: 773--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: invisible
Date: September 26, 2012, 1:41 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[spoiler]
--- Quote ---
>
> [center]Name:
> Darkkit
>
> Age:
> 5 moons
>
> Gender:
> Male
>
> Alliance:
> Thunderclan
>
> Rank:
> Kit
>
> Appearance (6 or more sentences):
> Darkkit is a little taller for his age, having longer legs
than most kittens would have his age, though he doesn't seem to
mind. But his fur is like the night sky, though without the
stars, it is rather a beautiful dark black color, as his eyes
are like the moon, a rather bright and imitating dark blue color
that everyone seems to find rather amazing. His nose is a pink
color though, which sometimes sticks out like a sore thumb,
which he hates, but everything else about him seems quite well.
Though he is not a little buff kitten, which obviously he won't
be at his age, he still looks great, with longish fur and
amazing eyes, it's a wonder what his parents must have looked
like. His ears are a little small, but they aren't rather
pointy, they curve around the tips of them, and his tail is
kinda long, having some hair hang from the bottom of his tail.
His paws though aren't a pink color at all, they are black,
except for one, which is his back left foot, having a weird pink
pattern on it, but his other paws are indeed black, making it
hard to see at times. But basically Darkkit is a handsome
looking tom, but has some down points
>
> Personality (6 or more sentences):
> Darkkit likes to keep to himself a lot, not very playful like
the other kittens, and is sometimes known to walk off towards
the woods in the middle of the night when the guard is not
looking. He has a rather calm personality, not very known to
get hyper over anything, and just acts like a very cool cat, and
often stands around staring off into space. He tends to get
sarcastic as well, though he is not mean, he just likes to joke
around, as he is not completely antisocial, he tends to just
think a lot. He loves to joke around with his friends,
especially the ones that are rather gullible and fun to make fun
of. But he is also a very brave kitten, able to come up to
anything without seeming to be scared one bit, not even animals
10 times his height, and loves to be the one that protect those
that he cares for deeply. Though he can be brave, he is known
to be stubborn as well, sticking to what he believes is right,
or doing what he wants to do, and at times he can be cold and
mean without meaning to. But Darkkit is still a rather cool and
calm kitten, that tends to get into trouble half the time
secretly.
> ---Likes (at least 3):
> Zoning off, being sarcastic, fighting
>
> --- Dislikes (at least 3):
> Spiders, and any other bug, annoying kittens that jump around
and scream half the time and those that are too scared to even
come out from the nursery, birds
>
> ---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
> he is a brave cat, not too easily angered, strong, smart
>
> ---Weaknesses (At least 3):
> Bugs and birds, when his friends are into trouble (( it's the
moment where he doesn't think, and just jumps into action, and
sometimes he doesn't think it though, or he just tries to save
them no matter what, it is a weakness, because if a cat does
this sometimes they can manipulate him to do something he
doesn't want to )), annoying cats xD
>
>
> History (at least 6 sentences):
> It was a mystery of where this tom came from, their parents
were nowhere to be found when the little kit was found outside
of their border. One warrior decided to take the tom into the
clan, that warrior being what he considers like his dad, but
soon the leader decided to take the kitten in, instead of
leaving him back into the woods. But soon he had an adopted
mother, Darkkit never calling her mother though as soon he was
raised as a little Thunderclan kit. This happened not too long
ago, as he is still a kit, though he was founded when he was
about 1 moon old, so it had been 4 moons since that day. But
Darkkit is thankful of them taking them in, but he often wonders
to himself, What were his real parents? Why did they leave him
there? Where are his real parents? Was he just such a bother
that they just left him here? What was the reason for their
actions?
>
> Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):
> Awww icky... i hate having to do a Roleplaying Sample xD, but
here
> sorry it sucks *cough*:
>
> Darkkit looked around from outside of the nursery, looking to
where the guard would be. Tonight he was going to sneak off
again, it helped him think, and it was just a place he loved to
be when he had a lot on his mind, but using the darkness to his
advantage, he soon walked quickly and quietly towards a tree,
hiding behind it as he watched the guard. Once the guard moved
away, he soon started to move again. But soon he froze,
realizing that the guard looked over towards where he was,
frowning "hello?" he called, Darkkit not daring to make a move.
But soon the guard, not seeming to be rather smart, went to look
a different way... or at least that's what it seems to look like
as the little kitten moved again... only to see that the tom
turned around, and ran towards him "ah Darkkit... you shouldn't
be out here, get back in the Nursery" he said... as soon Darkkit
found himself back in the nursery. But instead of sitting
there, he sneaked off again, this time being rather successful
this time.
>
> Comments (optional):
> Whoo this one's done~
> but hmmm... do we need any other cats for the other clans? C:,
i wouldn't mind making another one
>
>
--- End Quote ---
[/spoiler]
[font=times new roman]lovely bio, dear, but there are some
things you must change.
- in appearance, you used the word "color" a lot. maybe try
changing that to another word, or just leave it out. { ie;; "his
nose is a pink color", you can change it to "his nose is a shade
of pink". }
- you left out some punctuation in appearance. please change
that.
- for the roleplay sample, you need to add some capitals and
some punctuation.
- some sentences seem to run on, please shorten them, but make
sure that they aren't choppy.
i think that's about it, please bump again when you're finished.
#Post#: 782--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: F l y i n g r o c k s
Date: September 26, 2012, 2:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[center][font=lucida calligraphy]bump
sorry if i miss something
lovely siggy picture by the way
#Post#: 783--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: invisible
Date: September 26, 2012, 3:13 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
you still are lacking two capitals in the roleplay form, but
other than that it's beautiful. C:
and thank you, i made it myself. <3
#Post#: 787--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: paris
Date: September 26, 2012, 3:19 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[center]when you make your bios, try running it through a
microsoft word spell check. like vizzy said, you are lacking
some capitols.
it really is a beautiful app though.[/center]
#Post#: 799--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: F l y i n g r o c k s
Date: September 26, 2012, 4:09 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[center]
--- Quote from: { vizzy baby ❤ } link ---
>
> you still are lacking two capitals in the roleplay form, but
other than that it's beautiful. C:
>
> and thank you, i made it myself. <3
>
--- End Quote ---
thanks <3
but i think i got them... i think. Hopefully i do ^^'
but you're welcome~, it's very well made c:
--- Quote from: paris link ---
>
> [center][font=times new roman]when you make your bios, try
running it through a microsoft word spell check. like vizzy
said, you are lacking some capitols.
>
> it really is a beautiful app though.[/center]
>
--- End Quote ---
[font=lucida calligraphy]but Google Chrome does the same, it can
spell check your words so you don't have to do something like
that, but thanks for the ideas~
... but wait... can i see capitals? o3o
but thanks
#Post#: 802--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: invisible
Date: September 26, 2012, 4:20 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: F l y i n g r o c k s link ---
>
> [center]Name:
> Darkkit
>
> Age:
> 5 moons
>
> Gender:
> Male
>
> Alliance:
> Thunderclan
>
> Rank:
> Kit
>
> Appearance (6 or more sentences):
> Darkkit is a little taller for his age, having longer legs
than most kittens would have his age. But his fur is like the
night sky, though without the stars. It is rather a beautiful
shade of black, as his eyes are like the moon, a rather bright
and imitating dark blue color that everyone seems to find rather
amazing. His nose is a bright shade of pink though, which
sticks out like a sore thumb. But everything else about him
seems quite well. Though he is not a little buff kitten, which
obviously he won't be at his age, he still looks great, with
longish fur and amazing eyes, it's a wonder what his parents
must have looked like. His ears are a little small, but they
aren't rather pointy, they curve around the tips of them. His
tail is kinda long, having some hair hang from the bottom of his
tail. His paws though are not that usual pink at all, they are
black, except for one, which is his back left foot, having a
weird pink pattern on it, but his other paws are indeed black,
making it hard to see at times. But basically Darkkit is a
handsome looking tom, but has some down points.
>
> Personality (6 or more sentences):
> He has a rather calm personality, not very known to get hyper
over anything, and just acts like a very cool cat. You will see
Darkkit often standing around staring off into space half the
time, since he thinks a lot. Darkkit tends to get sarcastic as
well, though he is not mean, he just likes to joke around as he
is not completely antisocial. He loves to joke around with his
friends, especially the ones that are rather gullible and fun to
make fun of. But he is also a very brave kitten, able to come
up to anything without seeming to be scared one bit, not even
animals 10 times his height, and loves to be the one that
protect those that he cares for deeply. Though he can be brave,
he is known to be stubborn as well, sticking to what he believes
is right, or doing what he wants to do, and at times he can be
cold and mean without meaning to. Though this is the case, he
is still a nice cat to talk to, especially when he is not
thinking too much and seems to be happy. Though Darkkit has a
tendency to sneak off at night towards the forest, despite that
he can't at his age. He likes to go to the woods to think off,
and the scenery to him is rather beautiful it's hard not to go
there at least once.
> ---Likes (at least 3):
> Zoning off, being sarcastic, fighting
>
> --- Dislikes (at least 3):
> Spiders, and any other bug, annoying kittens that jump around
and scream half the time and those that are too scared to even
come out from the nursery, birds
>
> ---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
> he is a brave cat, not too easily angered, strong, smart
>
> ---Weaknesses (At least 3):
> Bugs and birds, when his friends are into trouble (( it's the
moment where he doesn't think, and just jumps into action, and
sometimes he doesn't think it though, or he just tries to save
them no matter what, it is a weakness, because if a cat does
this sometimes they can manipulate him to do something he
doesn't want to )), annoying cats xD
>
>
> History (at least 6 sentences):
> It was a mystery of where this tom came from, their parents
were nowhere to be found when the little kit was found outside
of their border. One warrior decided to take the tom into the
clan, that warrior being what he considers like his dad, but
soon the leader decided to take the kitten in, instead of
leaving him back into the woods. But soon he had an adopted
mother, Darkkit never calling her mother though as soon he was
raised as a little Thunderclan kit. This happened not too long
ago, as he is still a kit, though he was founded when he was
about 1 moon old, so it had been 4 moons since that day. But
Darkkit is thankful of them taking them in, but he often wonders
to himself, What were his real parents? Why did they leave him
there? Where are his real parents? Was he just such a bother
that they just left him here? What was the reason for their
actions?
>
> Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):
> Awww icky... i hate having to do a Roleplaying Sample xD, but
here
> sorry it sucks *cough*:
>
> It was midnight at the little camp we call Thunderclan. Here
most of the cats were sleeping... Well, except for little
Darkkit, who was outside of the Nursery, and a guard that was on
standby. The tall black kitten was waving his tail back and
forth, not liking how the guard was not moving at all, he wanted
to go to the forest, and he wanted to now before his adopted
mother or some other kitten wakes up. After what felt like an
hour though the guard did not move at all. Ahh come on... why
isn't he moving? he thought to himself, the kitten narrowing his
blue eyes as soon he just decided to take a huge risk... which
was to walk out. But soon when he quickly ran towards the
tree... He started to hear what seemed like snoring. Frowning,
he looked towards where the snoring was located... realizing
that the guard was asleep. Smirking now, the tom started to
head off before the guard woke up, heading towards the forest
with no care in the world ah finally....
>
> Comments (optional):
> Whoo this one's done~
> but hmmm... do we need any other cats for the other clans? C:,
i wouldn't mind making another one
>
--- End Quote ---
[font=times new roman]red is what needs capitals, blue what
doesn't need. C:
#Post#: 804--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: F l y i n g r o c k s
Date: September 26, 2012, 4:33 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[center][font=lucida calligraphy]oh... oh i see now!
thanks for that xD, i wasn't sure where they were
but done~
#Post#: 807--------------------------------------------------
Re: ;;{ Darkkit of Thunderclan {;;
DIR By: invisible
Date: September 26, 2012, 4:40 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Approved! ❤
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