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#Post#: 1115--------------------------------------------------
My review of Saints Row: The Third
By: Wisdom000 Date: November 23, 2011, 8:43 pm
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Part 1
Saints Row: The Third... the best most dissapointing game I ever
played...
If you haven't played SR2, and loved it, then SR3 will be the
best Sandbox game to come out since GTA: San Andreas, you will
love it more than you love your own children, and everytime you
boot it up you will have tiny orgasms in your eyes. If you
haven't played SR2 and loved it, then don't bother reading the
rest of this... go play SR3 and be happy...
If you, like me, did play SR2 and loved it... then read on...
the game is still great, but its not as good as it should have
been...
I should love SR3, and I do, I really really do... it was almost
like certain elements of the game were added specifically for
me. The cyberpunk stylings of the game including the hover
bike, the VTOL, the futuristic motorcycles, full VR interface,
hackers with glowing clothes... these were all things I had
dreamed for years about seeing in a Sandbox game, and to have
them show up in Saints Row, which had quickly become my favorite
(or at least tied with San Andreas) game of all time, was like
all my geek fantasies coming true (well, except including
cybernetic limbs... but there is always hope). Hell, they even
gave me a P-99 with a laser sight as a sidearm. So in the
months leading up to SR3's release I was in a state of perpetual
orgasm Sure I wasn't happy with the way they kept pushing the
sillier aspects, and how the majority of promo seemed to focus
entirely on nut shots, didlo bats, and Genki. But it was Saints
Row, and I could ignore that for what was surely going to be the
best game I ever played in my life... After all it was Saints
Row, the game where customization was the key of the franchise,
and they had been hyping up customization as well, telling
everyone that the options would surpass SR2, and we would have
new things to customize, like weapons and the landscape of the
map itself... So while I grumbled at the juvenile humor, I
literally could not have been more excited about a game unless
the box somehow grew a vagina... the hype for this game was
massive, and fans were frothing at the mouth to play it...
Unfortunately, in all the hype, in all the anticipation, no one
out there could have possibly dreamed that all this was coming
at a cost... no one would have ever believed that the
Customization, the aspect of the Saints Row series that put them
on the map, that set them apart and above all the other sandbox
games out there, would have been anything but ten times better.
When the Initiation Station hit we got our first glimpse of how
foolish we were...
The Clothing Customization was a mere fraction of what it was.
Clothing could no longer be layered, instead you had premade
ensemble tops and bottoms, and what they gave you was
ridiculous... Females had better choices than men, but then
female characters always do, as they can wear anything. But
overall, for both sexes, it was like the game designers wanted
your character to look stupid. The same items are repeated as
seperate items to pad out the selection, but then the worst of
the items are each unique... there are like ten different animal
mascot heads... and they all look stupid... why? Was the Furry
Market really something volition wanted to cater too so heavily?
We were told that cutting the layers was the price that had to
be paid so that breasts could jiggle and coats and hair could
move.. which almost would have been fine, excpet they
immediately made the whole thing worthless (unless you play a
female) by severely limiting the selection of the items that had
"flowing" features... the coolest overcoat for example, forces
you to wear a corset with it. It made no sense in the context
that if we were giving up layers, then why weren't they giving
us clothes we would wear? I mean everyone has different tastes
and all.. but we could no longer even choose to wear our jackets
open or closed... From a grpahics standpoint the clothes look
good, really good... but so few of them are anything you would
want your character to wear that it seems like wasted effort...
again, if you could mix a match, or even if you just had the
option to open or close or remove certain items (like the punk
leather jacket that for some reason comes with a scarf, or the
suits where it seems the only option is to either wear a vest or
to have the jacket always be closed?) much of these problems
would be solved...
Of course clothing wasn't the only thing that took a major
hit... the majority of Tattoos in SR2 looked kind of silly (who
the hell gets a tattoo of a wagon wheel?), but there were some
cool ones, and there were a ton to choose from. In SR3 there
are half the tattoos, and none of the really cool ones from the
former games show up, however you can still get wagon wheels and
now shark jaws on every part on your body (again... why... dear
god why?). Oddly enough, I have seen tattoos on NPC's walking
the streets that are not available, including a pretty badass
tribal wing design on the chest or back. Similar nerfing has
been done to piercings and jewelry, and they look more painted
on than before.
While hair has improved graphicly, the options are lackluster,
and the hair of the MC from the promo art is not available. So
again, whats there looks good graphicly, just none of it is
really to my taste... I finally settled in on a fairly normal
hairstyle with a cow lick (called rocker or something like
that), but I would much rather have had shortish wild or spikey
slicked back hair... like the mc in the promo art... There is
long hair now... but it looks kinda goofy and doesn't move
right, and the hair with bangs and a ponytail pops in and out of
the characters forehead...
On the plus side you can now give your guy or gal blue skin,
green metallic skin, or whatever and you can make your pixelated
junk (again... why) or tits bigger or smaller all by
themselves... still no ass slider though. But no matter what,
your male character will always have this cartoony bruiser look
to him, with linebacker shoulders and muscles, even on the
skinniest or fattest, least muscled settings, you always look
like you are doing steroids. It doesn't look bad... in fact it
looks great, but it doesn't provide for much variety either...
the fattest setting is just kinda overweight a little, the
skinniest setting and you still look like a superhero...
Dissapointment with customization doesn't end there either. Not
only are their fewer vehicles (some of the removed vehicles
being fan favorites like Zenith and Superiore) and I believe
fewer save slots, (I haven't counted to be sure) but the
customization options on them are fewer as well. Most cars you
only get one body color option, and the majority of the ones
that give you two body color options are still lackluster. Most
of the decals have been removed from the game, with the Pheonix
being the only sports cars with a decent decal... now decals are
listed for many cars, but for most of them its just defrost
striping on the back window that becomes nigh invisible once you
add tint... and instead of just letting you choose between the
colors by picking one, they give you seperate decals for each
color. And no, you still can't customize air or watercraft at
all (and boats and planes are severely limited in selection).
Hydraulics and Spinners have been removed completely, but now
you can put underglow on every vehicle. The spinners I don't
mind, and the only car in SR3 that would really benefit from the
Hydraulics is the Churchill, so I guess its a fair trade...
They introduced an upgrade system for weapons as a means of
customization, but once you upgrade a weapon, you can never
downgrade it again, so if you don't like the way it looks, too
bad for you. You can upgrade cribs as well... but again, once
you upgrade, you can never go back... its like this for all
upgrades in the game, and there are many... most you won't care
about as the upgrade works well and isn't something you would
normally want to go back to, but there are plenty of upgrades
most people would not want to play with on all the time, if at
all... for instance you can choose to duel wield pistols or
SMG's, but once you choose too do so you can never single wield
again. You can upgrade to make your self immune to fire,
bullets, explosions, and falling... but why would you ever want
to as doing so pretty much takes every last bit of fun or
challenge away from the game... All of this would have been
brilliant if they had included a way to turn off the upgrades,
but alas, no... and as such the experiment is a fail.
And please, for the love of all that is holy... why are there
not optional control schemes...
In short, every single aspect of of Customization in this game
has been a dissapointment... every customization feature from
the previous games in the franchise has been reduced, in some
cases drastically. It looks better, but in my opinion the
graphic ugrade was in no way worth such a massive hit to the
options... In my opinion, it was always customization that was
the core of the Saints Row franchise, and to see it not only not
improve, but get worse... makes little sense to me and seems
like a kick in the teeth to fans.
Also gone is the ability to replay former missions or even the
cut scenes.... another lost feature gone for no discernable
reason... it didn't require any noticeable diskspace to add a
toggle.. a simple menu screen to access them... but removing it
cost the game so much replay value its unfathomable... so
whatever you do, don't hit any buttons during the cut scenes or
you won't know what is going on... and if you want to replay the
mission or watch it again you have to start the game from
scratch... yay...
The last gripe I have with the game is the unlockable
vehicles... not only can you still not organize your garage (I
have begged and begged for this feature to be added, as my OCD
goes nuts everytime I open it up as see the jumbled mess that is
my garage) but unlocked or DLC vehicles can not be deleted from
your garage... at all... to most people this isn't a big deal,
but to guys like me, sometimes we just don't want that shit in
there... or at the very least if we could organize it we could
place it where we wanted, so we didn't have to scroll through it
every time just to get to the vehicles we do want... Again,
this isn't a hard thing to add, doing so wouldn't take up any
significant disk space, but not having just seems lazy. Its the
same thing with the upgrades and mission replay.. not having the
options for them is just poor game design, there really is no
excuse.
#Post#: 1116--------------------------------------------------
Re: My review of Saints Row: The Third
By: Wisdom000 Date: November 23, 2011, 8:44 pm
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Part 2
Now that the griping is out of the way, I will talk about the
positive aspects of the game... of which there are many... I
have already stated that parts of the game seemed made
specifically for me, and appeal to me in ways no other game can
hope to compete with. The new vehicles in the game are bloody
awesome... the new hicopters kick ass, the VTOL jet is the
single coolest aircraft I have ever flown in any game outside of
maybe Ace Combat... and the hoverbike is a close second. But
really, my favorite new vehicle in the game is the cop car.. it
looks like something from mad max, mean, intimidating, fast as
hell, and can take a pounding... unfortunately no matter how
dark you paint the car, the police decals are always slightly
visible (even on the undercover version) and it could use a
spoiler, but its still the baddest car in the game, and I
absolutely love driving it. It was the first car I put in my
garage, and the one I drive the most often... I steal one every
chance I get if I am san wheels...
The city looks phenomenal... its not as big as I would have
hoped, but its very dense, and very very busy. I hear a lot of
people talk about the scale in comparison to Stilwater from SR2,
but the new city seems every bit as large to me... my only
complaint about the new city at all is that the waters are dead,
as is the airport... boats don't cruise around, planes don't
land and take off... its a small thing, but its noticeable...
then again, maybe the water is just too cold for water fun time.
Actually I have another complate... in that there is no
day/night cycle... it just seems wierd. Its a minor thing
though.
The city is so dense that its easy to get lost, but thats ok,
because the new GPS system is phenomenal... arrows light up at
all the side streets to keep you moving in the right direction.
It makes driving at high speeds much much easier, as you aren't
having to look down at the corner of the screen every few
seconds... which always leads to wrecks..
Driving itself has improved... though I would prefer a brake to
the "drift" button, as coming to a complete stop can be
difficult sometimes... but the new game engine really shows off
its muscle here with the driving. Especially the AI... the
tether system for people chasing you in SR2 was broken, cars
would ram you until you died, or until they themselves blew up,
turning every single cop or gangster, or reporter in the city
into a kamikaze pilot. In SR3, they still ram you, but usually
they just pull in front of you or shoot at you... ramming you
from behind and then boxing you in. It feels much more
realistic, and much more badass... you can actually lose
pursuers by driving well. I don't know if the driving was worth
all the losses in options from SR2, but it is much improved and
much more fluid.
The new characters are awesome... Kinzie especially... everyone
wanted the boss to hook up with Shaundie after SR2.. but Kinzie
is so much cuter, so much more endearing... so much less disease
ridden (I love Shaundie, I truly truly do, she was my single
favorite secondary character in SR2, and my third favorite in
SR3.. but I wouldn't go near her hoohoo with a hazmat suit). In
my head, the Boss and Kinzie Hook up... besides, in my head
Shaundie and Pierce are a thing... but I am crazy and make up my
own stories and I am digressing... Oleg is my second favorite in
this game, I love hanging out with that guy, especially if I can
make him fight other brutes.. its awesome to sit back and watch
as the Hulk and the Thing go at each other... Pierce in this
game is likable and funny, much better than he was in the second
game where I really just kinda wanted him to die...Zimos the
pimp is hilarious, and his interactions with the MC over each
others real names had me rolling... The villians are ok, but the
shining stars on the villians side are Kiki and Viola and Matt
Miller.. Killbane and Angel don't do anything for me because
they are wrestlers and can't take them seriously, even in the
context of Saints Row... and Philipe Loren is just kind of
meh... which was sad because he looked like a proper badass
crime boss... no spoilers given, but if you have played the game
you know he is really just kind of a punk...
The plot of the game was fantastic... but the story was a tad
weak... if that makes any sense. The major deaths both to
heroes and villians all take place off screen or are otherwise
extremly anti-climactic, leading many to think, nay pray, that
there is more going on and that those characters are actually
still alive. Not to spoil anything, but even the ending leaves
this very ambiguous... I am one of the ones who prays that the
deaths of certain people did not actually happen, at least not
in the manner in which we are shown, or not shown. Its not only
the death scenes... the cinematic cutscenes have a very
disjoined feel to them, and following whats going on can get
difficult. In the end it almost feels like we are missing half
the story, and the whole thing unfortunately comes across as
rushed and incomplete.
The gangs kick ass... While I really miss the individual style
of the Ronin, Samedi, and Brotherhood (especially their vehicle
decals) the gangs in SR3 are bloody deadly... The Morningstar
are the easiest to deal with, and grabbing their oppressors and
Tornados is grand fun. The Luchadores are better than I
expected (it helps if you think of them as paramilitary mercs
and not wrestlers) and aggravatingly difficult, but the Deckers
are by far the most dangerous... neither the Luchadores or
Deckers have air support, but they don't really need it... and
the Deckers are so awesome to watch as they come in all glowing
blue that getting your sss handed to you by them is almost as
enjoyable... until you get your hands on one of their rocket
hammer thingies... then oh man is payback beautiful...
The game allows for some choices, and this at first had me very
excited, as I was hoping it would mean I would have the choice
to play the boss as less of a sociopath than in SR2. Sadly this
was not the case, but the choices are still interesting, though
I think most people will tend to make the same choices... get
crib or get money, the answer is always crib. Money is never an
issue really, I had a couple of million before I had reached the
halfway point in the game and had spent far more than that on
customization, ammo and upgrades.
While fighting styles are gone, and I was initially hesitant
about all the nut punching and wrestling moves... I gotta
admit... that shit is a blast... the only move I don't care for
is the one where the MC poses afterwards, but the rest are pure
awesome and really lend a cinematic feel to the fighting
experience. I took out a biker gang in survival mode at first
with nothing but hand to hand then switching it up to a baseball
bat with nails driven through it... and it was bloody AWESOME!.
I am not a proponent of the dildo bat, but I gotta say, if it
were black or grey, and not veiny with a cock head and testes, I
don't know if I would ever put it down... smacking people with
it just feels... righteous! The floopy physics have me in quite
a tasteful quandry... I want to hate it, I really do... and I
try to think of it as anything else... but hitting people with
it is so much fun I want to wet myself...
The activites are generally more fun this time around as well.
I really miss fuzz, the races, and fightclub... but I most
certainly do not miss towing or septic avenger or firefighting.
The activities that remain are fun and challenging, without
being mind numbingly difficult... Trailblazing and Heli Assault
on SR2 were so mind blowingly difficult and frustrating on S2
that I wanted to pull out my hair and nearly broke my controller
in half... in SR3 the difficulty has been toned down just enough
so that they are enjoyable and not "find a programmer and kill
them out of spite" hard. If you want to kick it up a notch play
on difficult. Most of the diversions are pretty fun as well,
with my favorite being vehicular torpedo... nothing like setting
the cruise control on a trash truck and sending it barrelling
into a police barricade....
In the end, as I said in the beginning, Saints Row: The Third is
at once one of the best games I have ever played, and one of the
most dissapointing... Only in the sense that it could have been
so much more if they had not removed so much. The fan backlash
for Grand Theft Auto 4 should have been ample warning that you
do not remove content in a follow up release. I mean, losing
the map size of San Andreas was bad enough, but with everything
else GTA4 left out, its only saiving grace was it had the best
story of any game I have ever played. So while the scale didn't
exaclty balance and replayability was pretty much shot, it still
left me with a pleasant memory.
SR3 isn't as much of a let down as GTA4 was, but the
dissapointment is still obvious and heavy. The one saving grace
is that we are told to expect 40 weeks of DLC, so hopefully most
of these issues (mission replay, garage organization,
dowgrading) will be fixed in a patch. Hopefully in the future
when they release DLC, it will actually feature what people want
from it (ie actually getting the nightblade outfit in the
nightblade dlc). I mean I don't expect Fallout quality DLC
(larger/new maps), but fixing the problems and giving us the
rest of the story would be awesome, as well as of course new
items, gear, and vehicles...
Regardless, SR3 is still immense fun, and while its not
everything I hoped it would be, it is still an amazing game, and
still tons of fun... with a few fixes it could live up to the
potential and the hype. Play the game, buy the DLC, enjoy..
Oh... and please... add cybernetic limbs to one of the upcoming
DLC packages... and a sleeveless version of the leather jacket
(mad max/fist of the northstar style).... pretty please...
#Post#: 1137--------------------------------------------------
Re: My review of Saints Row: The Third
By: Wetbizket Date: November 24, 2011, 12:05 pm
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That was a 5 star review! Very well written!
A lot of it a can agree with. Yur right, the story and deaths of
the characters didnt seem to make a big difference to me, the
sad part is i forgot how Loren was killed lol!
#Post#: 1178--------------------------------------------------
Re: My review of Saints Row: The Third
By: laidbackdude Date: November 26, 2011, 5:14 am
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[quote author=Wetbizket link=topic=97.msg1137#msg1137
date=1322157927]
That was a 5 star review! Very well written!
A lot of it a can agree with. Yur right, the story and deaths of
the characters didnt seem to make a big difference to me, the
sad part is i forgot how Loren was killed lol!
[/quote]
A giant metal ball flattened him.
#Post#: 1800--------------------------------------------------
Re: My review of Saints Row: The Third
By: jameson18 Date: December 10, 2011, 11:27 pm
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I like the cybernetic limbs idea... Maybe they will be in
trouble with clones? That'd be cool
#Post#: 2809--------------------------------------------------
Re: My review of Saints Row: The Third
By: jameson18 Date: January 2, 2012, 8:51 pm
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UPDATE
Still sucks ass.
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