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#Post#: 3577--------------------------------------------------
The Clash of Snow and Song Arc Tracker
By: Karahl Date: January 27, 2014, 4:09 am
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Notes:
[list]
[li]This arc is determined by you, all your actions and other
choices - including on which side you choose to help - will
result in how the arc will be affected, the overall ending being
good or bad and everyone's individual good/bad endings based on
your decisions. (Essentially think Mass Effect in regards to how
the arc has been structured.)[/li]
[li]A full synopsis will not be posted here because spoilers.
:3[/li]
[li]Like the first arc, I will be your lovely 'Dungeon Master'.
I control what events happen, the plot, the NPCs, environment
and how your characters' attacks will affect any characters or
the environment I control. Meaning that you can't instantly kill
an NPCs because awesome. This is just to make sure that things
don't go out of hand and more importantly, do not derail the
arc. (Note: Events are triggered by your choices. For example,
if your character chooses the 'Renegade' option in a situation,
you will get event B instead of event A.[/li]
[li]What happens in the introduction of the arc, and throughout,
is critical. Whichever side you end up helping will determine
what path your character will go in the story. Choose your
actions wisely... :3[/li]
[li]There is no 'helping both sides'. If you do so, you will
automatically be shoe-horned into the side which you have helped
more.[/li]
[li]If you do not end up helping either, you will be shoehorned
into what is deemed best fit for your character. Please note
that if this happens you will be given a smaller role, so if you
want to do more stuff. Pick a side.[/li]
[li]Which ever side you end up helping will determine where you
start at the climax of the arc. For example, helping Karahl will
mean you start in room A, helping the Songbird will have you
start at room B.[/li]
[/list]
More will be added if necessary...
----
Arc Tracker:
Introduction:
Clash of Snow and Song
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/clash-of-snow-and-song/
Along Side the Claw
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/along-side-the-claw/
In Presence of a Queen
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/in-presence-of-a-queen/
Main Threads:
Dock 32
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/dock-32/
Dock 32 (Shoke)
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/dock-32-%28shoke%29-276/
Gem of Priuella
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/gem-of-priuella-(for-skadu)/
Side Threads:
On the Other End of Mobius
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/on-the-other-end-of-mobius/
Sonic Sleep...
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/sonic-sleep-ultra-tiger-revenge-edition!/
Unbinding Those of Dark Hearts
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/songbird-sanctuary-unbinding-those-of-dark-hearts/msg6265/?boardseen#new<br
/>
Climax Threads:
Land of Ancient Calling Pt. I
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-the-forthcoming-pt-i/<br
/>
Land of Ancient Calling Pt. II
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-the-forthcoming-pt-ii/
Land of Ancient Calling Pt. III (a) Sapphire and Shoke
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-the-forthcoming-pt-iii-%28a%29/
Land of Ancient Calling Pt. III (a) Sonic and Soul
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-the-forthcoming-pt-iii-%28a%29-sonic-ampampampampamp-soul/<br
/>
Land of Ancient Calling Pt. III (b)
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-the-forthcoming-pt-iii-%28b%29/<br
/>
Land of Ancient Calling Pt. III (c)
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-the-forthcoming-pt-iii-%28c%29/<br
/>
Land of Ancient Calling Pt. III (d)
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-the-forthcoming-pt-iii-%28e%29/msg5701/#msg5701/<br
/>
Land of Ancient Calling: All Praise Priuella
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-all-praise-priuella/
Land of Ancient Calling: Part IV Chapel of Priuella
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/land-of-ancient-calling-part-iv-chapel-of-priuella/
Heaven's Door.
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/heaven%27s-door/
Conclusion Threads:
Like A Bolt of Lightning
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/like-a-bolt-of-lightning/
Priuella Aftermath
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/priuella-aftermath/
Unfaltering?
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/mobotropolis/unfaltering/<br
/>
Aboard the Valkyrie
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/post-priuella-aboard-the-valkyrie/<br
/>
Deep Thought
HTML http://sonicspotlightrp.createaforum.com/everywhere-else/deep-thought/
#Post#: 6174--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: Sonic Date: February 17, 2014, 9:27 pm
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So a tale of captured kin interwoven with an age old tale of
bitter hatred between karnine and feline. The war that has
consumed them has passed but the battle rages on. As the last
daughter of the snow claw clan gathers her allies for an all out
assault on her sworn enemies territory. As the plot thickens we
are privy to an unholy union and knowledge of an acient goddess.
Emotions are mixed amoung our heroes as they venture forth
getting swept up in the final chapter of this Ninja wars bloody
history.
#Post#: 6236--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: Karahl Date: February 18, 2014, 9:32 pm
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Awesome summary Sonic, thanks :D
---
Also Part III is almost doooone~
#Post#: 7327--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: Karahl Date: March 3, 2014, 1:29 am
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Sooooo, how did I do? I did good? I did meh? Please leave me any
kind of feedback on your thoughts on my very first arc seen to
completion! :D i would very much appreciate it!
What did you like? What didn't you like? Favourite moments?
Least favourite moments? Favourite characters? Least Favourite
characters? etc.etc.
#Post#: 7380--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: Sonic Date: March 3, 2014, 8:24 am
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Okay in my review/critique of your arc I will be drawing a lot
of comparisons with the title Bioshock 2. Let's start off with
the premise while I liked the addition of Ninja wolfs based off
the Ninja Turtles I never felt all that threatened by them. You
talked up these blue elite guards with such gusto and I don't
recall encountering any. As for the main antagonists the Cult
leader and the Goddess were pretty good. Marduis was a cold and
heartless pr,ick and every time he hurt Kyro it made me want to
stomp his face in much as the same hatred as Sofia Lamb from
Bioshock 2. This means he has done his job as a bad guy in
making me openly despise him so he was written and worked well
as a truly despicable man. The goddess was a joy both in design
and her dialogue was well worn and intriguing with her ideals
and philosophy. Her bigger picture was a very interesting look
at all she wanted was love and to be adored.
As for the overall story again like Bioshock 2 not it's
strongest suit like the first game.The ancient war between
between and Claw clan and the Songbirds was nothing special I
felt. Very cookie cutter back story that didn't really capture
my attention. The best parts were in the excitement you
introduced such as the undead leech,Rise and interactions with
the goddess,Wounding of the cub Kyro, and of course the romance
scene between Sonic and Karahl was a nice bit of development. I
wanted to have Sonic react to the Kara contract on his head but
during all the chaos going on it seemed like an after thought in
Sonic's mind with bigger and badder things to deal with. Again
with Bioshock 2 you get some awesome stuff like you get to play
a big daddy. In your Arc this came in the form of
Blood,ninjas,gore,and an explosive ending.
The best part by far was Priuella a misunderstood deity who
wanted nothing more than to be loved. What I saw of her dialogue
blew me away especially her final few words. I liked her so much
I wanted to have Sonic claim the locket so at a later date he
could call her forth again away from Karhal's prying eyes. Sonic
felt sorry for her and wanted to give her a second chance. But
this time to talk things out with her not in a room of hostile
threats or with the blood of an innocent child. (Spoiler Sonic
will eventually become fixated and obsessed on finding that
locket. To talk things over with the deity as he feels none
should be wrongfully imprisoned.) The having her destroy the
worlds population by half thus leaving her mark on the world was
amazing. To me she was more interesting than the musty old
carvings that tell her tale.
As you like to just as in Bioshock 2 to again you love your
exposition drawn out by characters in long boring dry large
walls of dialogue text to tell the portion of a story that
introduces important background information to the audience; for
example, information about the setting, events. The two parts
where you did this was the wall carving and the two wolf grunts
conversing with Mardius. It's boring and really slows the pace
of the story maybe you can think of a better way to leak or hint
details without needing a massive exposition via carvings and
conversation such as hinting at it by the
environment or subtle hints.
Negative
-Boring Exposition
-Stale story
-Under Powered Ninjas
-A lot of standing around
Positive
+Creative Cast of Characters
+Stimulating Locations & Traps
+Brilliant Dialogue
+Well Scripted Romance/Action
+Likeable/hateable villains.
+Character development.
Overall it was an exciting adventure that expanded upon Karal's
character had a great lair to navigate and was action packed
balls to the walls ninjitsu action with great characters.
Final Score
7.8/10
Oh and before I forget that wedding part with Constance joining
Mardius in undeath as his bride. Super f,ucked up and
kool.
Final Score
7.9/10
While your story was not as strong and your villain was no
Andrew Ryan. The very fact I compared your Arc to Bioshock 2 is
a massive complement in itself.
[IMG]
HTML http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100119191718/bioshock/images/3/38/Sofia_Lamb.png[/img]<br
/>[IMG]
HTML http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100529150454/bioshock/images/7/7c/Andrew_RyanHQ.jpg[/img]
#Post#: 7649--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: Karahl Date: March 5, 2014, 12:52 am
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Cheers Sonic, this means a lot; thank you. :) I'll bring in the
negatives into consideration for next time to improve on my next
one, if I have another one!
#Post#: 7669--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: Sapphire Date: March 5, 2014, 6:27 am
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If you ever do a second arc Kara, count me in! c:
This one was HEAPS fun!
I loved how hard it was to choose a side~ [sub] I didn't exactly
end up choosing an exact side in the end, having a songbird and
snow claw friend or ally cx[/sub]
Both clans seemed 'good' and 'bad' in certain ways. (Snow claws
ate mobians, but Karahl was an ally/friend to lots of the
heroes, and the songbirds attacked a lot of us, but Keillah was
a friend to Shoke and Sapphire )
Certainly made me think twice about which side I thought was
'right'~
My least favourite character would have to be the dreadful ugly
hyena! What he did to Kryo was awful! He almost killed our
lovely princess Constance too! D:
He really is a bad guy~
My favourite character from the arc would be Keillah~ [sub]
loving this songbird cx definitely the best songbird I know c:
even though I don't know many songbirds :3 [/sub]
I had heeeaaaps of favourite moments during this arc~
Shoke and Sapph in the halls was one, meeting Keillah was
another~
Meeting the goddess too~ that was surprising actually, I didn't
expect her to be like that~ a blood fish~ and the crushing of
the quills, hair and fur was interesting too, I was not
excepting that c:
Sorry I can't say too much about your arc~ I'm not very good at
critiquing, and I have not done my own arc yet.
It must've been pretty hard doing your arc, but you did really
well in my opinion c:
As I said at the start, if you ever do a second arc, count me
in! :D
#Post#: 7808--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: Mother Venus Date: March 6, 2014, 5:09 pm
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This entire arc was a whirlwind of twists, extensive
back-stories and delicious bloody drama~
And I looooooved it!
The beginning was a bit confusing... but I think as we went on
it got orderly.
I fell in love with Kara's world, and learned what she actually
did~
Though I wish I saw a bit more of her... it was fun seeing the
characters guided into it.
Like There were a lot of twists and turns that caught everyone
off guard.
The Beginning started off steady and it became... well Amazing!
The only negatives I could think of was the predictability of
everyone siding with Kara...
But that wasn't in your control!
Aaaah Sorry Reviews are not my strong point, but I do hope you
do another~
#Post#: 7827--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: VolatileGlaytor Date: March 6, 2014, 10:53 pm
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I personally, had a huge amount of fun with this arc, but there
definitely were some things I didn't like. But lets start with
the bad to make me seem like less of an ass near the end. XD
THE BAD
In terms of bad, there was one thing that annoyed me, and that's
the huge RP difficultly curve.
While it didn't effect most people that badly, I myself was hit
really hard due to the restrictions put on, and also a bit of my
own incompetence, but mostly the restrictions. You see, while I
understand the removal of teleportation and flying, the
disabling of magic near the end absolutely ruined the majority
of my options. Yes, Shoke could still use his pocket dimension,
but I consider that kinda cheap unless I've planned ahead for
it.
The other problem I had was the leap in the scale and presence
of the threat. This is something that I personally hate when
people don't use it right, and this was a really bad use of it.
We went from a local threat; the destruction of Mobotropolis and
it being replaced by Robotropolis, to a global threat in which
millions where wiped out with little to no effort from the
villain. The thing is, every arc after this is going to have
less presence unless they try and top yours in terms of threat.
Its like when in a game, you fight a decently challenging enemy
or puzzle, and then afterwards face a puzzle or boss much
stronger than that, and then after that, the game goes back to a
decent difficulty. The game is going to seem easy, and is
completely superseded by that one challenge.
There needs to be structure to this sort of thing, because
unless Venus ends up summoning an alien invasion that destroys
the planet, and the heroes need to travel through space to find
a way to travel through time so they could go back and stop the
destruction of the planet, a battle against a god isn't going to
be topped by V's arc. Even if her arc is at the highest levels
of awesome writing and has perfect challenge, it still won't be
as intimidating as your arc.
Also, the introduction of the Songbirds was a bit shoehorned in.
Not too badly, though. It just would've helped if it was more
than a minor clip-note on Kara's bio that people could easily
miss.
On a lighter note, however...
THE GOOD
This arc started out perfectly. I'm serious, this arc couldn't
have started any better. It was a ton of fun, and was really
clever. You started with presenting us with a choice, to either
go with an injured Songbird or Kara, with the note that her
brother had been kidnapped. The characters make their choices,
and the group is split. They end up at an area with plenty of
chances for strategic combat instead of the bland old run in and
kick their butts. Which I tried to do, but the others didn't
quite understand the prospect of strategic combat in that
situation...
Anyways, they end up winning, and then they are put in a
situation that allowed for some REALLY STUPID character moments,
as well as a large amount of character injuries. That moment
where the door exploded due to it being rigged had perfectly set
the tone of the rest of the arc, that brute force wasn't going
to win the day.
I also really enjoyed the characters. Hopefully Shoke and Sapph
will run into Keillah and maybe things could end a bit
differently between them. (I really wanted to have Sapph and
Shoke have to take care of Keillah after her being
rejected/almost killed off by her clan for her betrayal. She
still probably will be killed off, sadly. :C )
Mardius was a c*nt. Plain and simple. There was nothing
righteous about his cause when he spoke for it, and he deserved
to be killed in the most horrible and painful way, but sadly, I
doubt we've seen the last of him. He really didn't get enough
comeuppance. Him drowning wasn't good enough. ><
Kyro was adorable in the few scenes he was in, and was really
sympathetic, considering what he was going through.
And MaeMae or whatever her name was? *Is to lazy to go and look
up her name* She was a good representation of the average
Songbird personality-wise. I can't wait to see more of her and
Discord being absolutely bonkers~
Overall, the arc was fun and definitely makes me need to step up
my game for my arc when I do it, but in doing so it also brings
more problems for future arcs.
Side note: These arcs are happening WAY too quickly. Arcs are
supposed to be shorter than the down time, and with V's arc only
a week away, lets just say that the rest period between my arc
and V's is going to be at least three weeks. >_>
#Post#: 7847--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Clash of Snow and Song
By: Karahl Date: March 7, 2014, 12:36 am
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Overall, I'm glad that I have been able to do you guys the
justice enough to hate Mardius! Just means I have written the
villain right and I am very happy that a majority of you had a
fun time with my very first arc~
Sapphire:
Thanks Saph, that's really sweet of you :)
V:
Cheers V! I am still super flattered that you enjoyed the arc
that much!
Yeah it's a shame about the predictability of people siding with
Karahl, but then again I was also sorta counting on that for a
more interesting approach to it. (i.e. Everything you guys did
from the start to the end.)
Shoke:
Who said anything about needing to "One-Up" the last arc? There
is absolutely no need to 'make this arc more threatening than
the last' sort of deal. All arcs are meant to bring all RPers
willing to participate to collaborate together and achieve a
final goal. I'm not sure where you got this from, but if there
was a "One-Up" system then the person who was proud of their
arc, who did it prior to that one, will feel like crap won't
they? Or the next person after an arc will be racking their
brains to try and make theirs more menacing. That would add too
much stress and probably cause for things to come across as
forced. Arcs can be just as threatening small-scale and
personally to characters than mass threats. It just means a bit
of creative and good writing.
I didn't disable magic... where did you get that from too? xD I
disabled HEALING in part four. Shoke is awesome with his sword
right? I'm surprised that he didn't do anthing of the sort. He
was pretty darn competent against the purple Songbird at Dock
32.
Reasons for restrictions:
- Teleportation was out so that no one can phase through the
barriers because of story pacing. Not to restrict a character.
e.g.If characters could just warp past those obstacles then we
wouldn't have seen the potential outcome of the wedding, Marius
summoning Priuella or actually, Mardius wouldn't be able to do
anything.
- Flying was out so that characters couldn't just fly over to
the tower or fly up to Priuella's necklace. This encourages more
creative posts (and it did! :D ).
- Healing was out so that the face of threat is more realistic
and not "I'm okay now cause healing". I also didn't want any
characters to heal Karahl because since there are people who
like her on this board, I wanted to have a little fun with
jesting with the idea of her dying. Also meant that I didn't
have to RP her as well whilst in the mindset of Mardius and
Priuella.
On a lighter note, glad you had fun regardless. :)
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