DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Songwriters Circle
HTML https://songwriterscircle.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Chit Chat
*****************************************************
#Post#: 57--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nomads
By: habiTat Date: November 23, 2013, 3:48 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
HTML https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/86336083/sunset.jpg
#Post#: 58--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nomads
By: D Date: November 24, 2013, 7:06 am
---------------------------------------------------------
WOW, that poem!!!!!
and wow, that picture!!!!!
can i be involved as one of the nomads in one way or another, i
would love to do some drum programming or add a sparcely used
bleep and blop ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
#Post#: 60--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nomads
By: habiTat Date: November 24, 2013, 1:50 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
D, you ARE a nomad, you are the one on the left :D :D
Seriously though, it was just an idea I had but I think it could
be quite cool, we could, as a four with such different styles,
really create something unique, imagine Andy's lead vocal,
Pauls's beautiful piano, hab harmonies :-\ all mixed with a
Dutchbeat vibe and a hab/db video :o :o
Move over Fox song, we will be the next big thing :D
#Post#: 61--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nomads
By: Kafla Date: November 25, 2013, 6:28 am
---------------------------------------------------------
HTML https://soundcloud.com/softblack/nomad
Ok few observations
Line 4 and 5 ryhme but it would be better if line 4 ryhmed with
1, 2 & 3
Long time ago, when you were dead,
A gravestone placed above your head.
I cried for you beneath the stars.
The wind rose up amongst the trees.
Please I whispered, please.
You're the spark to the flame -
burning bright and then you were gone.
Into the fire ,may love live on,into the fire
A house of dusty memories
In darkened light, forgotten dreams
I cried for me, for you my star
Through golden fallen autumn leaves.
Please I whispered, please
I like Habi's theme a lot so maybe verse 1 could be adapted
thematically
The new chords are
Bb Am Gm F C G in the run down section
let me know if you like this or not guys - its our song!
#Post#: 62--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nomads
By: habiTat Date: November 25, 2013, 9:44 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Good work Andy, I like it, I see what you mean about the rhyming
but I also really like the trees (end of 4) paired with please
(at the start of 5) and reinforced by please again (at the end
of 5)
I tried to mimic this structure with my verse because I liked it
so much. I think it's slightly unconventional but it works. It's
like a pre-chorus in a way, that familiar intro into the chorus.
It'll be interesting to see what the fellow nomads think :)
#Post#: 63--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nomads
By: D Date: November 27, 2013, 10:00 am
---------------------------------------------------------
what a beautiful song
that is all i think...
it flows so well
#Post#: 64--------------------------------------------------
Re: Nomads
By: Wicked Deeds Date: November 27, 2013, 3:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Hey chaps, I'm back! ;D
Bloody internet- I've been off line for a few days. Ok, I'm
here to stir things up a bit ;D. Andy, the rhyme scheme is spot
on (just my opinion but you know I have strong opinions). ;D. I
listened to the chords and melody and immediately thought -
alter the vocal melody for line 4 and then decide whether or not
the rhyme scheme is right or wrong! ;D. Right, I'm off for
another listen. :)
Ok second listen - this is also applicable to the second verse
that hab has written. The vocal melody needs to change at line
3. I'm going to record something and then post it. It's easier
to demonstrate with a demo rather talk about it. It's also a
good way to develop a song by handing it over for the critical
ears of everyone!
Hab, I'd love to play piano! :)
*****************************************************
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page