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#Post#: 14806--------------------------------------------------
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
DIR By: duck caller
Date: September 17, 2013, 1:22 pm
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Take off clothing and place it carefully in laundry hamper
according to 'lights' and 'darks'. Walk to bathroom wearing long
robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc. Get in the shower.
Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash
your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit and mint conditioner. Wash
your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
totally red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa
Cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and
legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces
in shower. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small
country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom
wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife
along the way, shake your knob at her making a 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of
your knob and then scratch your arse. Get in the shower. Wash
your face then wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands
and let the water rinse the snot off. Fart loudly and laugh at
how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing
knob and bollocks. Wash your arse whilst leaving plenty of pubes
stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a shampoo 'Mohawk'. Have
a piss. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail
to notice the water on floor because the shower curtain was
hanging out of cubicle the whole time. Admire your knob size in
mirror again. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you
pass the wife, pull off towel, shake your knob at her and make
the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. The End.
#Post#: 14809--------------------------------------------------
Re: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
DIR By: semiauto
Date: September 17, 2013, 2:27 pm
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as you do ;D
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