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#Post#: 393--------------------------------------------------
Storys from a virtual pub in shetland.
By: George Date: January 9, 2011, 1:42 am
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Some storys I told in a virtual pub on the Shetland Islands..
Right Im ready to start...I'm off to the Magnies rest ... got to
tell them a wee story that happens to be true........hello
all.......what the hell are you all wearing hardhats and
gumshields for.. is Alky and her sister been at the triples
again?.... barmaid could I have a pint o watter before I
start....thanks....Right.. this happened to me back in the
sixties, but it is still very vivid in my mind..my late wife
Jean was always getting on to me for scaring our children with
these stories... So I will start..it was in August when I knew
the Salmon were in the upper reaches of the river Ayr and the
river Luger...so I set out in my car and headed for Mauchline,
passing through Moscow and Hurlford on the way there... I
arrived outside the village, and parked the car at a place
called the Haugh, then set up my fishing gear, I walked
downstream to a place called the meeting o the watters.. where
the Luger meets the Ayr.. I decided to fish the Luger first..so
went upstream about a quarter o a mile and started to fish.. It
was not to long when I was into a Salmon, a nice fish of seven
pounds.. So I took it back to the car and then decided to fish
upstream on the River Ayr.. I was fishing a long pool. when I
noticed someone else was fishing on the opposite bank to me...
it was a Mink, its colour was unusual as it seemed to be blue
fur...anyway it was a far better angler than me, as evertime it
slipped into the pool, it would come up with a Salmon Parr, then
disappear into a gully, where I presumed it had young to feed..
So I decided to move on to the next pool, as I thought it had
probably scared off the Salmon in that pool...... so I moved
upstream to the pool above, and started to fish again... It was
a very pleasant day for fishing.. the birds were singing.. the
water was gurgling down over some rapids, sheer paradise to
someone like me, who loves the country........... I first became
aware that something strange was about to happen at this place,
I had a very uneasy feeling that all was not right....... The
first thing I noticed.. was the birds had gone quiet, then I
realised that the water was not gurgling either...... I sensed
the hairs on the back of my neck rising, and a tingling on my
neck ......... something wasnt right......... even the tree
branches seemed to have stopped swaying in the
breeze.................. Then I slowly raised my eyes and looked
over the river to the bushes.......... I was being watched I
thought......then a man in black materialised right across the
river from me...He did not speak or move..just stared at me, for
what seemed like an age...then he started to fade away in front
of my eyes........................This story.. IS TRUE AS I
DESCRIBED IT............................right.. Why are you all
holding hands..and you John .. what are you doing sitting on the
barmaids lap..
More to come.. hope you enjoyed it..
george..
#Post#: 394--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stories.. The soldier..
By: George Date: January 10, 2011, 1:36 am
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This one is from Benjismum.. in response to mine..
You'll have to buy everyone doubles, George, to calm them down.
I like a good ghost story - especially when they're true!! And
that's a good 'un!!
I've got a few "little" stories but nothing I've experienced
myself - except a flying glass once. But, my friend over the
road told me of her experience in her garden. Now, if you knew
my friend, you would know that she is very matter-of-fact, no
nonsense, isn't sentimental doesn't believe in ghosts,
horoscopes, fairies, Father Christmas or any such things......
She and her husband had built a new house behind the old stone
farmhouse which they had been required to demolish. Where the
stone farmhouse had stood was now a large lawn.
......one day she was mowing the lawn. It was the middle of the
day................
As she busied herself in the garden, she was aware that someone
was watching her. She stopped what she was doing momentarily
and saw a man standing looking right through her (as I'm telling
you this I've got goosebumps all over and my eyes are
watering!!!) She watched him for a few seconds, smiled at him
and greeted him cheerily but got no response.
He appeared to be very over-dressed for a summer's day - even
for a farmer - which, at first, she took him to be. Then she
realised that he had a very big army coat on, and had something
like a bag slung over his shoulder and an army hat. She turned
back to her lawn mower to stop
it............aaaaaahhhhhhh......and when she turned back to
speak to him..........he had disappeared.
When she made enquiries about who had lived in the old farm in
the past, she discovered that the son of the house had gone away
to the first world war. He should have taken over the
farm......but, sadly never lived to return.
She is convinced that it was him she saw that day. She's never
seen him since, but tells me she sometimes feels a presence
there when she is in the garden.
I'm so terrified that if I have to go over there at night I take
my million watt torch with me!!! ;D
Now, where's that double brandy?????
Thanks Benji for your wee story..
Oor Pat ..
Joost drapped in for a glass o Nortmavine Sparklin fur my 11s'.
Ah'll hae tae stick up fur da lasses ahint da bar.. Dey might be
a bit rough aroond da edges but dey serve a good gless o watter
an da stovies is second tae none .. Mind you dat false eyelash
in da reestit mutton soup wiz hard tae swalloo.. Still I fin da
place lichtsome enouch despite dis creepy feelin dat dere's folk
dat I canna see all aboot me....
Geordie said..
Hi.David, and zdrahstvooite dobree vyechir..kak vy oazhyvahyete
David ..... Nice to see you in da magnies for da first
time...you have to watch your back in here David... it can get a
bit wild at times..een keep your eyes off da burds, Alky and her
twin...cause, wee Willie fancies dem...................telt me
he is not fussy about who he can pick up....I think he is just
looking for free boarding.........He is a tourist you know...
just like you....but you seem to have your head screwed on da
right way. ...Anyway whits yer poison. and I will have the same.
thank you.... Ok Alky, pit it on Davids tab...always pays to be
nice to people..........
george.. Meeting a Rooskie tourist..
Hello all.. I see we have got our first tourist o da season..I
wonder how he found oot about da magnies rest..Must have heard o
it on da internet...Hello tourist... are you up for a bit o
sightseeing, or up for da burds...Eezveeneete, pazhahlsta nyet,
rooskee......... O my god he is wan o dem.....ok rooskee do you
speak da lingo?... Nyet. nyet. prashoo vas pamoch mnye [ can you
help me ] It depends on wat you want. if it will cost any
money. your nae chance... Skolka stoeet [ how much does it cost
] ...Kak nahm papast navagzahl [ how do we get to the station ]
Noo hes pulling mae leg noo...think he is a bit o a joker...
Alky gie him a wee dram o vodka.. that will shut him up fer a
time...and pit it oan Davids tab. cause im skint as
usual........
george..
#Post#: 395--------------------------------------------------
Re: Storys from a virtual pub. Alky..
By: George Date: January 10, 2011, 4:29 am
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Hello Alky. Nice to see you back from the asylum, I suppose I
will have to give you a wee hand today, as you seem to be a bit
tied up.. Did they forget to take da straight-jacket off, or,
are you still a wee bit nutty. I see your sister Alkapop is
nearly normal, apart from her talking to herself in da mirror, I
heard yesterday that there is going to be big turnout in da pub
next week, I think its because someone overheard that there is
to be free drinks...anyway I will be off to my daughters hoose
doon sooth in Paisley toon, whit dae you mean your never heard
of paisley, dats where da big cotton mills were, an Tannahill da
auld poet...I mind when I wis a lad we had what was known as da
Paisley Fair, when da mills shut for da holidays, then just
aboot every family in da toon jumped on the auld steam trains
and headed for Ayr and Saltcoats, all the snobs went to Largs..
And talking about Ayr, thats when I had my first encounter wae
da spirit life..It kind o makes you a wee bit scared at times,
it was at night and we had rented a flat above an old
blacksmiths shop..[ god I can still smell the burning o da
horses hoofs when da smithy put the red hot shoe onto its hoof
then nailed it on,then he would cut and trim da nail around da
shoe] ,...... whit dae you mean you dont want to know aboot
ghosts, ok. be like dat then, I might tell it another time as I
dont want to upset you when your just oot o hospital...... Right
then. I am off now, I will see you both later...........
Next day..
Hello Alky. How are you today? They new glasses your wearing
fairly help to take da squint oot o your eyes, big improvement..
I was telling you that I was going down to my lasses hoose in
paisley..well I canna make my mind up whether to take my car or
not..the drivers doon there are sheer mental..sorry Alky, I
shouldna have said dat word [ mental ] Do you think I should
take da car?... whit do you mean, you hope da ferry sinks, I
thought you liked me, and here I was going to bring you and your
sister a wee present, I was going to get you both a pair o pink
wellies. I heard dat the pub was empty again last night, I bet
it will be mobbed when I go off da island, I dont think I'm very
well liked in here, ???. Probably because o da way I talk to
folk.. Anyway, I think I will go out today wae da camera and
see if I can spot da otters an take a picture or two. .. See you
later four eyes....
next day..
Hello Alky. Hows it going the day then, have du heard dat I am
going to paisley in a week or two......... whit do you mean, the
sooner the better, that wasnt very nice o you......and here I
was, wae my camera, going to take you and your sisters photo dis
morning.........I would really like to get a picture o you both
withoot your makeup on, kinda natural like........Why......Well
I wis going to enter it in an ugly twins competition, I think
wae faces like yours I would definately win it, what do you
think...........................................WHAT are doing
wae dat knife...aaarrrgggg.......I'm oot o here.......
Next day..
Hello benji..
I thought I would join you in a wee drink......aye...... you are
right about the memory bit..I'm forever forgetting what I am
looking for, and the joints, well thats just normal wear and
tear after years o hard work... But the government seem to
forget about things like that, when they want to increase the
retirement age for the auld age pension... and that bit about [
only as young as you feel. ] that sounds familiar to me... I
feel as fit as when I was a lad...until I start hiking ower da
hills, thats when I realize that I am not as fit as a young
lad..he.he.... Alky.. would you give Benji another wee brandy,
and I will have a wee dram......Whit do you mean I forgot to pay
for the last one... o dear.. this memory o mine.. it must be
getting worse.....
#Post#: 399--------------------------------------------------
Re: Storys.. Alkys twin..
By: George Date: January 11, 2011, 2:14 am
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Some carry on in da Magnies rest last night..When I went in,
Alky brought ower ma gless o watter, een sat doon wae me, den
she telt me hur brass necklace wis broken, I telt hur ta take it
aff an spread it oot on da bar..ah said I would be right on da
job een a second,,but hur sister Alkapop [ who.s a bit deaf ]
misstook da conversation an thought I ment something else.she
grabbed ma gless an skelped me ower da heed wae it,, to say I
wis shocked een stunned wis an understatement., a wis mair like
unconsious.. somebuddie phoned da cop shop in Lerwick Toon and
telt dem ta send da Black Maria, da said they didna huv wan but
would send a panda,[ why they call dem that I dont know cause
they dont look anything like bears ].. anyway da came an lifted
Alkapop, she wis shoutin ta dem dat it wis a missunderstanding,
dat she wis a bit deaf an missheard me....think she is up afore
da beak next week.. so we will huv ta wait an see whit happens
tae hur...
A few days later..
Hello Alky, your looking real pretty dis morning. but I think
you could do with a shave and a bit o make-up on
............George.. why are you talking to the mirror..Sorry
Alky. I forgot ta put my specs on..Its an age thing Alky..anyway
I'm aff to court this morning, I have been called as a
prosecution witness, against your crazy sister Alkapop, hope da
put her in the stocks and throw away da key. err. Or should dat
be, in the cell den throw away da key...
The court case..
Whit a day its been in the courtroom, da first case was an auld
pensioner, nicked for stubbing oot her f*g at the market cross,
she couldna walk too well, so they lifted her into the dock,
poor wee thing, I think the judge was in a bit o a bad mood this
morning, cause he found her guilty afore she could even plead
not guilty..but she got a lenient sentence at least.. she was
fined three hundred pounds and banned from smoking fur a
year...serves her right... NEXT CASE...was Alkys sister
Alkapop..... She wiz dressed in a tight fitting, low cut, slinky
little number, well you should have seen the court ushers
rushing to help her into the dock, but they were too late, the
auld judge beat dem to it. I thought it was quite funny. because
in the fight between the ushers and the judge his wig was
knocked aff and he was quite bald.. anyway the court usher asked
her to plead.. Guilty or not guilty.. afore she hud a chance ta
reply the auld judge shouted.. Not guilty... Then excepted his
plea.. een told her she was a free woman.. den he asked her for
hur telephone number... CASE CLOSED.....
Wonder whit will be next.. Dis virtual pub is gettin worse..
george..
#Post#: 401--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stories.. Coos & banter.
By: George Date: January 12, 2011, 4:03 am
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Hello benji... Your getting as bad as M ... drinking in a sunday
morning..tut.tut....I like da thread you opened about being
scared as a kid..... and your feart o COOS as well.. I just
thought it wis just me ........ I mind years ago. I went with a
good mate o mine. another fireman like me [ he died a long time
ago ] .. anyway he was also scared o cows.. and I will always
remember this day. When we were oot fishing for Salmon on the
River Luger.. Jack and me had to get past a big herd o the
beasts, scattered aboot the field..so we decided the only way
was to creep through the bushes and hope they wouldnt see us..
Jack was in front o me.. and as we thought we were oot o the
danger area.. Jack ran and jumped off a high bank at the
riverside.. and screamed.. as he almost landed astride one o the
big beasts.... the coo got such a fright it jumped into the
river.....................talk about funny..we laughed all the
way home in the car... anyway I won the lottery last night so
your drink is on me... thinks benji.. thats a first for
george,,,,,,,,,,,,thinks george. thats the last for
benji..he.he.he.
Banter..
Hello Alky you look rather fetching in your yellow wellies
tonight... pity you didna change your fishnet tights. cause you
have a wee ladder in them.. sorry Alky. I just cant help myself.
but being an honest type o guy. I thought it would be better for
me yer auld pal, to tell you, rather than some o they misfits
dat come in here.. you know who I mean. nudge. nudge wink wink..
anyway could I have a pint o your best watter please.... by the
way I just wish you would go back ta dat plastic-surgeon and get
yer nose fixed. where its ment to be. instead o in da middle o
your foreheed it just dont suit you up there. een your sister
she will get a sair back efter getting these breast implants...I
think he overdid it with them........... dat rooskee that wis
in, I got him drunk last night...een I got a bit o interesting
information oot o him..........He wis sent ower here frae Moscow
he is a KGB hired by some burd , think he said her name wis
TAMARA....his name wis Vlad..or wis it Igor.. he wis sent ta
find oot if.. H.. hung aboot da magnies rest... een da plan wis
to kiddnap him an spirit him ower tae Moscow......... cause
TAMARA canna get.. H.. oot o her mind.. plus da fact he owes her
a lot o money for certain favours she did for him............its
amazing whit information you can get efter you ply these
Rooskees way a bit o vodka, init Alky....can I get another pint
please......
Orange wellies..
Hello Alkapop.. how ur you today, your looking really nice
today, with your matching wellie boots on, I must say. I like
the colour of them. bright orange. at least it matches your
face...... I thought your sister would be in today, where is
she.... whit do you mean she had a nervous breakdown.. wonder
what caused that.. has some idiot been saying something to upset
her... whit do mean. me. i'm her best pal. I gie hur the best o
advice that money can buy........the cheek o some folk.......
anyway Alkapop I think dat plastic-sureon did a great job on you
wae the breast implants. you look a bit like Dolly Parton, but.
I better warn you not to go oot in a windy day. some o they
gusts o wind, might catch them and lift you up an hurl you ower
da banks into da sea........ tell Alky I wis asking for her....
on second thoughts, maybe you better not.. If you mention my
name she might do something silly........
george..
#Post#: 402--------------------------------------------------
Re: Storys. A wee ghost story..
By: George Date: January 13, 2011, 1:08 am
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Hi. F. Its busy in here tonight, I heard that the AA twins are
off for a wee holiday, god sake I think they need it, I was just
saying that the other day to m, that I thought they were
cracking up, M wis saying that they were off to sunny Fetherland
up in da north o da island for a bit o piece an quiet...thats
fine. but I heard that its haunted, imagine going to a deserted
village full o ghosts...Talking o which.. I have a wee ghostie
tale to tell....... are you all sitting comfortably, M, get aff
marees lap, I havent even started yet, ya big feartie, ok. here
it goes.. This one is a kinda follow up to the one I telt you
about, o da wee wife dat I met in the mansion..... if you
remember. I wis in Sandys hoose doing some work for him...when I
saw a wee ghostie wife wandering aboot da place...... This next
one wis another day................. I got a phonecall from
Sandy, to explain that he had ordered a chest freezer, he wanted
it down in the cellar. but it was a bit too wide to fit through
the doorway, and it was to be delivered the next day, could I
help.... I said no bother Sandy. but I will have to do it
tonight, I had the spare key o the hoose... So that night I set
out to his hoose, as I drove up the long driveway, trees on each
side o the driveway they were swaying in the wind, when I got to
the mansion, it looked a wee bit spookie, and I got that kind o
feeling.. Something was watching me............ So I entered the
hoose, switched on the lights, and made my way to the cellar.. I
measured the doorway between the door stiles and figured out
that if I removed the door and the stiles, then he would get the
freezer in with no bother.. so I removed the door, then levered
off the stiles,, when I THOUGHT.. I WASNT IN THE CELLAR
MYSELF.... the next moment I felt like a punch in my back. which
threw me onto the floor.. I quickly picked myself up and did a
quick exit from the old house... When I think back on this
event.. I can only think that the old man who was the original
owner. Mr. Robertson, who died a number of years ago, took
exception to me altering his cellar door. and it was his way of
letting me know..................... Well Fifi.. I think that
one is worth a pint o your best... look at you.. all three o you
sitting on top o Ms lap , a big bunch o fearties..
he.he.he.......
george.
#Post#: 406--------------------------------------------------
Re: Storys.. Aff tae da pub..
By: George Date: January 14, 2011, 12:45 am
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Think I will go to the pub today.. But I think I better watch
myself, I think A an A are getting a bit fed up with me and my
loose tongue.... I thought it was just a bit o banter.. but some
folk are a bit thin skinned and canna take a joke. he.he....and
see dat benji, she was wondering where TAMARA came from...a doot
she hasna read that excellent bit that H wrote.....from RUSSIA
WITH LOVE... It was sheer brill...
Anyway i'm off to the magnie rest and test oot the atmosphere.
See if A and A..ARE TALKING TO ME.... ???..... God sake. it
disna take a blink o an eye to get to the pub.... just a wee
click o the mouse and your there........... I better be nice to
da twins today,and watch what I say to them........
Hi. twins, hows it gaun da day... could I have a pint o your
best please...[ noo dat wis nice and polite ] thank you.........
cheers....
I have to say. i'm a bit dissapointed wae the both o you, dat
you didna take my advice and go back tae the surgeon an get all
da defects sorted oot, if I wis you, I would ask for your money
back, as it didna work.. in fact you look worse noo........ WHIT
DO YOU MEAN im BANNED....... I wis only trying to gae you a bit
o friendly advice.......i'm off again, my problem is I canna
help whit I say.....its just an auld age thing...
Pat says..
I tink I need ta stay away fae dis establishment ower da denner
hour..... I joost met George flyin oot the door - again.. I
suppose he's been tellin jokes ageen..... Never mind George,
you'll be forgiven I'm sure, Boy dat tattie soup is dat fine on
a cowld Up Helly Aa day....
Hello maree, I see its your turn to be da barmaid, its awfully
quiet in here these days init.. I have been to see wan o da
doctors that delve inta your mind, I had a problem communicating
wae folk, seems I just upset some o da folk that come in here,
so I thought I would go and get it fixed..
Anyway... I didna like da way the doc. asked me all they
questions, like what age are you, do you drink, how many units o
drink do you have, it went on and on. so I got a bit fed up wa
his ranting, then to crown it all he said that I had a problem
wa my drinking.. ah telt him the only problem I hud wa drink wis
I couldna get enough o it, you know as well as me maree, I only
have a bottle o magnies best mineral watter a day....
So I telt him to get lost an mind his own bl...y business an no
to be so blinking nosy, so I left him wae a sair jaw. as I wis
storming oot he wis trying ta give me some kind o leaflet aboot
some guy called da moongod, or something like dat. I telt him
tae shove it. a wisna interested in dat kind o propaganda.....
Well maree give me a pint o your best and you can have wan
yourself, but put it on oxes tab, dat miserable auld gits never
bought a drink fur me yet.. he will never notice it. he. he. he.
well maree, how are you getting on wae dat nikon camera dat you
got, have you sussed it oot yet, cause I huvna sussed mine oot
yet, man, dat photoshop elements is da business init, its
amazing whit you kin do wa a photo.. I am taking all my pictures
in RAW. then you kin play aboot wae it tae your
likeing............
Right maree, I am away hame noo, its been a pleasure talking tae
you, makes a change frae they twins, their aff there heeds.. see
you later................
george..
#Post#: 409--------------------------------------------------
Re: Storys from a virtual pub.. Explosion..
By: George Date: January 15, 2011, 2:08 am
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This is a true account of the Brown & Polson explosion..
It happened on the 5th. June, 1964.. In Paisley town..
Hello all, its nice to see the pub so busy, makes a
change.......
So I think I will tell you all a wee story about an event, which
I was involved with back, in 1964, it is an eyewitness account
of the Brown and Polson dust explosion on the 5th. of june 1964.
when five souls lost their lives..
But to start with.. I have to go back to the night previous, the
4th. june 1964.... I was on nightshift with blue watch.. When I
was told by my station officer to get myself out to the
thornhill hospital as my wife was about to give birth to my
first born.. When I arrived at the hospital, my wife Jean had
given birth to a son.. I was over the moon with delight at
having a son.... the first of six... five boys and one
daughter.. unfortunatly one of my sons died at childbirth.....
Anyway. back at the fire station to complete my shift. the bells
went off at 0630am..
It was a call to an explosion at the brown and polson factory,
persons reported missing....
The factory was an old building with very thick walls, It was
five stories tall...
When we arrived at the scene, all that was left of it was one
very large pile of bricks and morter, being young, and
inexperianced [ I was only 24 at this time ] My first impression
was that the mill had been pulled down by contractors.. But I
was so wrong...
As I made my way to the debris, I noticed a movement in the
rubble, when a man appeared out of it.. his brown overalls
shredded off of him along with half his skin hanging like
tatters from him.. He muttered to me where his two mates were
seen last..
So I helped the poor soul over to the care of an ambulance crew,
turned round and headed back to the scene of chaos... I called
over to another fireman, [ Alec Lawler ] to come and help me to
search the area that the injured workman had told me about..
So together, we tore at the rubble with our hands, when we heard
someone groaning... We cleared the rubble from him.. and made a
stretcher out of a short extension ladder, roped him in it with
a personal line [which we all carried in these days ] then
lowered him down to some other firemen....
We then resumed searching the rubble and came to a bit of brown
cloth... As we cleared the bricks and mortar from it.. we had
found another soul.. But he was dead, he was lying face down wth
a massive lump of concrete on top of him..We cleared it off of
him and called for another stretcher to be passed up to us, we
wrapped his head in rags and secured his body with a line and
lowered him to our mates down below .......
another two workers were found in the remains of a works van...
it was completely flattened by the whole of the gable wall...
which crashed down on it...
It was just like a butchers shop.. Terrible..
The last person was found two days later.. He was lying beside a
three ton truck. Which no one knew was there... untill a
bulldozer found it..
the fifth worker was never found ......
The explosion was caused by corn dust.. which had gathered in
the old mill over the years .. Under certain atmospheric
conditions, this dust can glow.. and then ignite.. Devouring the
air inside the building.. which then causes an implosion.......
Although this happened back in 1964... I sometimes dream of the
apparition of the first workman lumbering towards me... It was
scary...
Now I tried to google up this tragic event.. But could find no
trace of it..... So I thought.. If there is no public record of
it.. Then why not tell it to you all on this forum ... and
hopefully lay to rest the ghosts in me.....
George..
#Post#: 410--------------------------------------------------
Re: Storys from a virtual pub in shetland.
By: tracy Date: January 15, 2011, 2:58 am
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such a sad story :'( brings a tear to the eye
also makes you appreciate all that the fire service does
#Post#: 411--------------------------------------------------
Re: Storys from a virtual pub in shetland.
By: George Date: January 15, 2011, 3:09 am
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Thank you Tracy..
It was a tramatic experience. for me..
Another time i'll tell of the Clarkson disaster.. 22 were killed
in that fateful saturday.. I attended that as well..
george..
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