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#Post#: 4312--------------------------------------------------
This Dish is Killer
By: Darrus Date: September 4, 2015, 1:24 pm
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Been a bit since Darrus had taken the time to just take a
leisurely stroll down the streets of Ponyville. His usual hang
out (The Guiding Light) was temporarily closed for some reason
or another, AJ was off to visit some family, and his chores were
done on the farm, so he'd been left with few options aside from
just explore the town and see what he could get up to. Not the
worst idea, he'd come to realize, what with how the place tended
to have something nuts happen more regularly than the sunrise a
short walk could be a gosh dang full blown adventure. Nothing so
far though, his passing by the various little homes and shops of
the town he'd become surprisingly comfortable with amounting
little more than the occasional greeting from passers-by.
It still felt weird for Darrus to actually know more than a
couple of people in a town even of this small a size considering
how rarely he'd ever stuck around to any particular place for
more than a short spell. But stuck he had, and not be miserable
because of it he also somehow had. Perhaps cause of adventure
finding him here instead of him finding adventure, maybe was
just a pleasant place to be, or mehbe something a bit more
personal and private, but whatever the reason he didn't see
himself leaving any time soon.
Maybe.
A small amateur band played around with strings and drums nearby
as he turned a corner and passed a flower shop, the smell and
sounds almost inspiring one to music themselves. Actually, you
know what? Screw it. He hadn't sung in a while - weeks even! -
and he was just in the right mood to do so now. The sun was
shining, his cloak was keeping him cool as was the summer breeze
that was slowly dropping into a fall one, and the band was
already playing. Bobbing his head, Darrus took in a breath...
"I-"
Then the wall of the diner nearby exploded, showering him with
some wooden shrapnel and causing him to lift a wing to shield
his face from the downpour. Once the worst was past he allowed
himself a peek at what was going on, the nearby residents of the
town flipping out, a few running in literal small circles and
screaming while a couple of others simply reared back and
flailed their front hooves out of confused panic, eyes shut
tightly so as not to even witness what was going on. Another was
repeatedly bucking the wall of the building in some attempt at
defending themselves from what was happening, and another was
still enjoying their meal at one of the tables outside the shop,
the possibility of him being deaf lending credence to his lack
of a response to everything around him.
So... more or less the usual response to chaos around here.
"Mmmmmmkay," Darrus mumbled to himself, taking off in a light
hover to gain a better view from above, the other ponies
scurrying about beneath him as he tried to peer into the now
gaping hole in the side of the building, "so the place blows up,
the goobers go to code red and the cause is..."
Bread and... Cheese? A lot of cheese... and vegetables? Spilling
out. Looked like... whats it called... Did someone just spill
something or- oh, no wait! It was... moving? Yeah it definitely
was moving. Or rather it was standing up. The bread and cheese
was standing up. And boy did it stand! Almost as tall as the
building itself! And it had a face made from vegetables.
"RAWWWWWWWWR!!!"
And it was roaring.
Awesome.
"Huegh?" Darrus sounded with a confused contortion of his
features, him tilting his head as if that would help him
understand what he was loo- Calzone! That's what the thing was!
It was a calzone. Thing. A standing calzone thing that was
roaring- so now we're back to being confused.
The creature - which smelled absolutely divine by the way -
leaned it's cheesy head lower so as to direct another guttural
roar towards the fleeing, circling, bucking and flailing ponies
below, a few being blown away by the power behind such a
vocalization while a couple of others just got splattered with
some tomato sauce.
Darrus was certain there was a story here. He had no idea where
to begin with his guessing. He also was only now just realizing
how hungry he was, the calzone creature smashing away at the
rest of the building around him as Darrus thought back to the
few apples he'd had before heading out and- flying cheese!
A quick dip in the air to avoid the incoming wad of mozzarella
being flung his way, it sailing past and splatting onto the roof
of the coffee shop behind him. Darrus gave the creature a glare,
though it went mostly unnoticed since it had returned itself to
crushing all that pesky real estate keeping it from terrorizing
the town proper.
"So," the pegasus said under his breath, "where to start..."
#Post#: 4314--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Jazz Date: September 5, 2015, 9:12 pm
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Jazz takes a sip of her coffee, eyeing the bag of sweets she'd
recently picked up at a new candy shop her friend had sworn she
needed to try. It being in Ponyville hadn't bothered her much,
the trip actually proving to be quite the nice break from the
hustle and bustle of Canterlot. She takes another sip of he
coffee and pulls the bag over to herself, looking inside at the
various confections inside. She hasn't tried one just yet, but
all of them look, and smell, delicious. But what would go well
with the coffee? She sifts through the bag with her magic,
trying to decide just which of the sweets to try first. Maybe
one of the caramels? Or perhaps one of those white-chocolate
mints? Decisions, decisions... The white-coated mare taps her
hoof along with the music playing in the background as she
thinks, idly sipping at her drink. She's just decided to try one
of the dark chocolates with chili when a loud *boom* sounds from
across the street, and Jazz drops the coffee cup in surprise,
spilling it all over the table she's sitting at. Several nearby
ponies bolt for the door of the coffee shop, almost as though
they'd had practice doing such a thing. Jazz isn't quite so
quick on the uptake, and so is one of those who remains outside,
though not quite as panicked as the rest appear to be. Her
surprise quickly turns to confusion at the mound of pastry and
melty cheese spilling out of the hole in the wall. Which then
started moving, rising up and beginning to thrash around,
flinging bits of cheese and cooked vegetables all along the
street. Jazz has to quickly duck to avoid a block of mozzarella
sailing past her head as the delicious looking monstrosity
begins to smash the remaining walls of the diner. She takes a
moment to glance back at the coffee shop, where somepony had
turned the sign in the door around to read "Closed" and several
faces were peering out through the relative safety of the
windows. Nearby, an elderly stallion has apparently not noticed
the commotion, being too absorbed in a crossword puzzle and
seemingly unable to hear. With another look at the rampaging
baked goods, Jazz takes off toward the older pony, dodging
around a few tables and chairs. She's almost reached him when a
particularly large glob of cheese sails toward the still
unsuspecting senior. Jazz only just manages to save him from a
cheesy fate by tossing a chair into the way of the blob,
knocking it aside just enough to merely splatter the table
instead. This proves to be enough to finally get the stallion's
attention, and he looks up and blinks several times at the
sudden food-based monster attack. Jazz reaches him, quickly
helping the older pony on toward the shop door and keeping a
look out for any more dangerous (yet tasty) projectiles. All the
while the stallion is mumbling something or other about
"Monsters these days", with Jazz catching several "Back in my
day"s and other complaints as they walk.
#Post#: 4315--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Ryo Date: September 21, 2015, 3:25 pm
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Ah, lunch breaks. The best part of every day at work on the farm
for Ryo. She enjoyed working there, but that one longer break
each day was simply the best. Ryo was slowly bobbing her head to
a tune she had heard earlier, the earplugs she had decided to
leave in her ears completely blocking off the talking voices of
other ponies around her. Pepper did mention they were high
quality, and would keep every single sound, no matter how loud,
out of her eardrums. Ryo's tummy was loudly informing everyone
around her, that it demanded food. Good for it, that the waiter
just brought in her meal. Ryo gave the waiter a nod, and turned
towards her food.
Ryo watched at the plate with watery mouth, feeling like she
could eat a horse. Figuratively speaking, of course. Ryo lifted
the metallic lid that had been placed on top of the tray to keep
the food warm, but her first reaction to the delicious food in
front of her was a disgusted frown, and made Ryo stick her
tongue out at the food. There was cheese on it. CHEESE! Even
though she had made a special order without cheese. Well, she
could fix it with no problem. Ryo focused her magic at the food,
her tongue now sticking out on the side of her mouth, showing
that she was concentrating. She carefully extracted all the
cheese from the meal, blocking the yellow, sticky and in her
mind disgusting substance away from her food. Satisfied with her
efforts, Ryo lifted the cheese now piled on few napkins up with
her magic, and floated it to the nearest trash bin she could
see, getting some awkward stares from other ponies eating
feasting in the restaurant. Ryo picked up her fork with her
magic, and began to eat.
But just as the first piece of delicious, cheeseless what-ever
it's called without cheese food was about to reach her mouth, a
horrible crash could be heard from other side of the building.
Just as Pepper said, Ryo couldn't hear anything, but her table
toppling over, and all the ponies on her field of vision
suddenly fleeing in terror made Ryo very nervous for some
reason. She tried to look outside from a nearby window, but
couldn't see a thing. That was until she saw a huge yellow
projectile flying through the air, Ryo instantly realizing it
was cheese. She immediately remembered that fortune cookie from
a week back, that said something like, "Don't trust your food"
or something like that. Before she managed to act, Ryo noticed a
sea of cheese quickly covering the floor, causing her to be
trapped on her chair in the corner of the dining area. Despite
wearing boots, Ryo couldn't touch cheese even with a ten foot
pole. Well she was just moments ago very, very close to some
cheese, but it was just a small amount. Not a sea of yellow
doom. Ryo began to look around, quickly spotting a table that
had not been cheesyfied yet, and she began to float it towards
her. Maybe it's enough for her to leap to safety through the
window, before the level of the cheese got too great for her to
handle. And she wasn't even aware of the roaring cheese golem
yet, still having the earplugs in. She had much more pressing
matters at hoof than the ability to hear again. Once Ryo had
dragged the table over, she slowly rose on top of it, sighing
"Why did it have to be cheese...?" before she began to lean over
and try to push the window open
#Post#: 4316--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Darrus Date: September 23, 2015, 11:10 am
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Oozeing/crawling/climbing- whatever you want to call it, the
calzone golem was managing to finally get free from the darn
building keeping his mayhem ball from rolling, something the
ponies scattered about the area found most distressing as their
screams heightened in pitch just a touch. Darrus surveyed the
scene a moment longer, the scent of cheese becoming pungent
while the mess pouring from the restaurant began to engulf the
street in front of the buildin. A couple of mares being bowled
over by a small wave of tomato sauce as a stallion stopped
screaming long enough to take a bite out of a recently crashed
chunk of cheesy bread before then picking back up his screaming
flight from the scene.
Darrus took a breath to ready himself for speech.
"This is... No gouda." He said aloud, smirking at himself in
pride then glancing around to see if anyone had heard and been
blown away by his amazing joke that would have shattered the
minds of any who weren't prepared to be taught what real humor
was.
No one had noticed.
Lame.
Oh well, Darrus decided, giving another stronjg flap of his
wings to avoid a spray of juices and oils shooting from a newly
ruptured fissure in the golems bread exoskeleton. Now this was
just starting to get out of hand, and something had to be done!
Someone had to do something to save this town from the
mostrosity dirtying up the street and making things all weird
and oily and gross in the way that onyl cheese could. But who?
Who could poss-
"I do it!" Taking off like a shot, Darrus sped all the way up to
the face of the golem, causing a momentary pause in the giant
calzones destruction so as to allow it time to raise an eyebrow
constructed from green bell peppers.
'Haha!" Darrus announced his clear assumption of the hero role,
cloak billowing behind him in a sudden wind as he struck a
strong airborne pose before the beast, "Stand down you delishly
delectable devil! For I will give you but one chance to cease
all this nonsense and situate yourself comfortably onto a large
platter before forcing you to feel the wrath of the one, the
only, the best, the dashing, the brave, the handsome, the
magnetic, the electrifying..." the calzone was growing bored,
"...the light in the darkness, the reliable alarm clock, the
chariot the never breaks down, the sundae made just right, the
impossibly impressively impressionable Dar-" A mighty swat from
one of the golem's sizeable fist things sent the big mouthed
stallion rocketing towards the ground where he did a fine job of
forming a crater. After a moment, which was enough time for the
golem to forget about Darrus and return to its menacing, a hoof
popped out and was used to drag a wobbly Darrus half way out of
the hole, him attempting to climb out before collapsing back to
the ground.
"You think you can even brunch during the tornado that was my
sunday...!" He sort of said, voice wavering with a clear tone of
having completely lost any grasp on what year it was.
#Post#: 4317--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Jazz Date: September 26, 2015, 1:02 am
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Once the older pony is in the relative safety of the coffee shop
(with a few parting comments about whippersnappers or some
such), Jazz takes a look around to see if anypony else needs
help. Most of the bystanders have gotten out of the way by know,
and at least one had apparently found the fallen cheese
projectiles to irresistible to pass up having a few nibbles
before scampering for cover. She did have to admit; looking at a
nearby blob of mozzarella, marinara, and artichokes; it did look
delicious... Maybe just a taste? No, no, not the time. Jazz
shakes herself out of it and looks over at the delectable
monster, just in time to see it swat a rusty-colored pegasus out
of the air, but unfortunately not soon enough to have seen his
dashing pose. He didn't seem hurt at least, rising up from the
small crater he'd made, but he was clearly dazed, and much too
close to the monster for Jazz's liking. She couldn't risk going
in there to help him though, so she'd settle for distracting it
long enough for him to get his wits about him. With a mighty
toss of her magic, a plastic chair goes sailing toward the golem
and colides with it's shoulder... and doing little more than
denting it's crusty exterior. This is followed by several loud
*pop*s, and one of the beverage sort, aimed around the
creature's head. "Hey! You!" She calls, trying to get it's
attention. "Goudoutahere!" She tries very hard to keep a
straight face, but a few giggles slip out anyway as she takes
off in the opposite direction of Darrus, the noises having been
enough to draw the horrilicious monster's attention. She heads
for the far side of the diner the beast had emerged from, now
seemingly flooded with cheese, in the hopes of getting some
cover from the blobs that keep being flung about. Unfortunately,
she doesn't have much to throw over here, only being able to
toss a couple loose rocks from the road, and a small-ish blob of
it's own cheeses back at it. Jazz stops, thinking she's probably
far enough away by now, thought the golem has finally fully
wrenched itself free of the building by now, and has started
lumbering forward. Thankfully it's not moving fast, and Jazz has
time to notice the mare still stuck inside the diner, seemingly
attempting to get the window open to escape the slowly rising
sea of cheddar. She takes another look at the monster, then
turns to help the mare get the window open.
#Post#: 4318--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Dark Date: September 29, 2015, 2:15 pm
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This day could have gone much better.
He could have not overslept on the first day of his new job.
He could have not forgotten to open the front door on his way
out.
He could have not gotten lost while going to the first street to
make his first delivery.
He could have avoided the rambunctious pegasus who had plucked a
raincloud from who knows where in this otherwise clear sky and
drenched him, ruining several of the letters that were still
left in his bag.
At the very least, the pegasus could have waited until he was
covered in this marinara sauce which he had no explanation for.
Granted, he hadn't opened his eyes yet; he was too busy
contemplating how much trouble it would be to get the stains out
of his cape, not to mention all the shampoo his mane would take.
Dark Matter sighs and reaches up to clear his eye area with his
hoof. He freezes as he hears a roar, suddenly not sure he WANTS
to know what's going on. In the end he decides to risk it.
He stands blinking for a moment. He knows there's something he's
supposed to do in case of giant monster attack, he just can't
think of...
The bread golem roars. Oh yes, run, that was it. He'd have to
pat himself on the back later.
He begins to wheel around, but something stops him; there's a
mare running towards the building for some reason! Dark Matter
shakes his head in dismay. He'd always been taught that
stallions should never abandon mares in trouble, and that meant
he couldn't just get away now. Besides, he'd look like a sissy.
He casts his eyes about for clues as to how he can help, but
comes up with nothing. Falling back on old habits, he decides to
conjure an illusion to distract the beast. Unfortunately
suddenly all he can think of is an even more terrifying
spaghetti monster, so that's what he makes. It seems to spring
forth from the ground maybe twenty feet in front of the real
monster, coils pushing up its meatball eyes over a mouth filled
with breadstick teeth. It looks quite fake to anyone who has
half an attention span to pay attention to, but hopefully it'll
draw the beasts attention long enough for him to think of
something useful to do.
#Post#: 4319--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Ryo Date: October 3, 2015, 8:34 am
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"How the...?" Ryo tried to get the window open, but she couldn't
find any sort of lock on it. She didn't want to be prosecuted
for breaking property of the restaurant. The cheese was quickly
rising, and Ryo was running out of time. It was too late to go
for the door, and there was no way she could reach any of the
other windows in the room. Was this how it all ends? Was this
the end of her story. Being drowned in... Cheese? What a sad way
to go indeed. Ryo was ready to make her last speech to the
monstrous sea of grossness, on how it was about to claim her,
but at that same moment Ryo spotted another pony coming towards
the window. Ryo forgot her speech immediately, and waved to the
mare in panic, not fully aware it was indeed her the other mare
had seen from the outside. As the unknown hero began to open the
window, Ryo accidentally knocked one of her earplugs off, and
heard a roar coming from inside the building. This roar coming
from a huge wave of cheese, a tidal wave, that was coming
towards her. With no time to wasted, Ryo hears a faint click and
takes a leap of faith, jumping towards the window, that
fortunately had been unlocked from the outside now by the other
pony (Seriously, who locks their windows from the outside?). Ryo
lands on top of Jazz, and they both roll away from the window,
far enough to avoid the gooey cheese now pouring out from the
window Ryo just jumped out of.
After all the stars circling around Ryo's head had popped, she
shook her head and looked at the pony who saved her. Ryo managed
to open her mouth enough to say "Thank you-" before another roar
filled the air. Ryo Eeeped, and began to look around, soon
spotting the huge, cheese golem on the other side of the
restaurant building. "W-w-wh-what is that...?" Ryo asked from
nopony in particular, just letting the question fly out there,
for anypony to answer.
#Post#: 4321--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Darrus Date: October 17, 2015, 10:05 am
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The giant golem of bread and mozzarella was not too pleased to
first be antagonized by some puny unicorn throwing its own
cheese at it and then be challenged by the sudden appearance of
a giant spaghetti monster. The shrieking from the ponies
scattered about the ground briefly heightened in pitch as the
golem, not wanting to be shown up at his own debut, stomped
forward to wrastle with the noodly illusion. It's wild and
brutish swings were failing to make any truly solid contact due
to the spaghetti not being real, though this was merely
dismissed by the golem as it being a tad too slippery for the
calzone to get a grasp on right away.
Meanwhile, back in his pony shaped crater, Darrus was slowly
regaining his faculties, the pegasus having fallen back into the
hole he'd created sometime around the appearance of the illusion
distracting this weeks monster. He gave a low groan and tried to
climb back out, his hooves struggling to lift him as he was
slowly beginning to remember that he had himself a pair of
incredibly well toned and handsome wings, or so he'd go on to
describe them in his memoirs that he had recently decided to
maybe someday kind of write if he felt like it sort of.
With a few flaps he was able to finally escape the crater,
coming to a wobbly landing a few feet away and shaking his head
to clear it.
"Don't worry!" he loudly said, swinging a hoof over dramatically
in the direction of a nearby mare attempting to flee, her
pausing with a short screech of her hooves as he spoke, "I'm
perfectly fine! I've taken far worse, and a simple crash landing
at terminal velocity is mere child's play for this stallion! Now
get your camera ready, as I think it's about time I do something
jaw dropping!" Here Darrus took off into the sky, the mare just
blinking in confusion before screaming once again and resuming
her terrified flight.
"Alright, you," Darrus reached for his belt nicely hidden
beneath his cloak, his hoof making its way towards the sheathe
of one of the few things he's owned for the longest of times,
"let's see how you like thiiiiiiuuuhhhhh...?"
Gone. Of course! Wher-oh, right, Lamplight had it. Locked away
somewhere at her place. Welp! How is a stallion of such presence
supposed to defeat giant calzone golems without a dagger!? Many
a times he'd argued this very thing with AJ back on the farm,
and yet never had he gained ground when it came to carrying it
on his person like he'd wanted. Well, look who's laughing now!
Not Darrus, cause he isn't armed!!
Hmm...
Ah, yes, of course! He cou- a sudden dive in the air to avoid a
large marinara soaked appendage, Darrus' flying having brought
him a bit closer than he'd realized to the golem and the other
thing he was only just now realizing existed. Two monsters?
Maybe he was hit harder than he'd assumed...
Anyway! This just meant he had all the more reason to check out
the restaurant and see if they had themselves a cleaver or some
such stashed in the kitchen, preferably behind some breakable
glass and with a plaque reading "In case of shenanigans" set
above it. Deciding this plan was destined to succeed exactly as
described due to Darrus' having been the one to think it up, he
fell into a dive to swoop into the building the golem had exited
so recently, the hole it had left behind being plenty large
enough for him to swiftly soar through.
Shoulder checking into the door leading to the kitchen, bouncing
off, landing in the cheese, flapping wildly to get back out,
succeeding, taking a moment to taste some of it and appreciate
that it was delicious then shoulder checking the door
again,Darrus managed to break into the kitchen where he then
rummaged through the utensils not yet sunken to the bottom of
the cheese flooding the place. Tossing aside stirring spoons and
wisks, his searching seemed fruitless, Darrus wondering whether
or not he should just detour to the Guiding Light for a couple
minutes and test whether Lamplight would forgive a broken window
at a time such as this.
Deciding it would take too long and subtract from his hero time,
Darrus settled for grabbing hold of the nearest handle he could
reach and rushing back outside, him rapidly gaining altitude and
settling for being at eye level with the golem that was
beginning to think that maybe that mass of noodles wasn't what
it appeared to be.
"Haha!" Darrus once again shouted to try and grasp the dueling
monsters attention, "Your doom has come once again after
allowing you the first strike, now, prepare yourself!!"
With that Darrus swung forth his newly acquired weapon, it being
revealed to be...
A spatula.
"Perfect..." Darrus muttered with a deepening expression of
determination, "I can make this work..."
#Post#: 4322--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Jazz Date: October 20, 2015, 8:01 pm
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It only takes a few moments for Jazz to notice the latch on the
outside of the window. She doesn't have time to wonder about
who's decision it was to put the lock on the outside, as she
spots a veritable tidal wave of gruyere sweeping toward the poor
trapped mare. Jazz flings the window open just in time, the blue
mare throwing herself out immediately and bowling Jazz over. The
two of them tumble away from the window just in time to miss the
splattering of cheese. Jazz has the wind knocked out of her by
the accidental flying tackle, and for a few moments she lays
with her hooves stuck in the air. From this position she has a
pretty good view of what's happening with the monster (albeit
the wrong way around). The creature seemed to have thankfully
been distracted from chasing her by the appearance of a second
gustatory abomination, though this one seemed to have something
off about it... other than being a giant pile of living
spaghetti. Jazz blinks and flips herself around, giving the
no-longer-trapped mare a grin and then a shrug. She didn't have
any more idea what was going on than her rescuee does, really.
Out of danger for now, Jazz takes a few moments to observe just
what is happening. The two monsters seem to just be flailing at
each other for now. Above them, it seemed that the pegasus had
recovered and was now hovering about shouting something at them,
though Jazz can't quite make it out over the sound of giant
monsters fighting and screaming bystanders. She spots a stallion
that seems much more calm than the others as the rusty pegasus
darts into the building, and turns to the other mare for a
moment. "Come on!" She says, and starts heading over toward Dark
Matter.
#Post#: 4323--------------------------------------------------
Re: This Dish is Killer
By: Dark Date: October 26, 2015, 12:33 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Dark Matter blinks against the sweat from the effort of
maintaining the illusion... or was it sauce? No matter, either
one getting in his eye would hurt. Possibly like the proverbial
Dickens.
His concentration lapses, though, when he sees a pegasus fly
forth heroically from the wreckage of the building, brandishing
a... something... weapon of some sort... that glints in the sun.
He seemed to be taunting the beast, although Dark couldn't hear
what he was saying; something incredibly awesome and dramatic,
no doubt. What a cool pegasus.
The neglected illusion quickly dissolves into thin air without
any focus on it, granting apparent victory to the Calzolem
(working title, he'll come up with a better name for it later).
Dark Matter turns to check on the unicorn mare who had run to
the building for some reason to find that she'd found a friend
and was heading towards him now. Satisfied that she was probably
safe now, he turned to leave... until he remembered the pegasus.
He couldn't let that guy have the spotlight all to himself.
He blows out of the corner of his mouth to dislodge a tomato
chunk; he didn't exactly cut a terribly heroic figure covered in
this stuff. Alas, there's no time to do anything about it now.
He nods to the approaching mare(s). "You ladies had best make
yourselves scarce. This could get-" He sets his hooves and
begins charging a spell. "-messy."
He even manages not to chuckle.
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