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#Post#: 2264--------------------------------------------------
Down in the park
By: Dais Clash Date: April 20, 2014, 11:04 pm
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(split from
HTML http://rpismagic.createaforum.com/ponyville/diamond-in-the-rough/)
Dais raced back to the park. He was going to run all the way
back to his home, but as he crossed the stream that ran through
Ponyville he slowed until he found a nice park bench under a
tree. Practically jumping on to it, he buried his face in his
hooves and cried to himself. Simply put, he lost the will to
run, or do anything else for that matter.
Dais had never really understood his compulsive need to be
friends with everypony, but it had always been there. He was
reminded of when he was just a young colt, when the others in
his class were teasing him about his lack of a cutie mark. In
fact he could hear their voices in his head - right along with
his father's disapproving speech when Dais had refused to go
into the royal guard - and rising above it all, the voices of
everypony who had ever rejected him in some way - the ponies who
had mocked his cutie mark, the co-worker at the Manehatten
Library who had complained that Dais was too slow at shelving,
the examiner who gave Dais a zero on a test one time even though
he was sure he was right, the smith who told Dais he would never
be able to make a horseshoe, even the first ponies who he'd met
in Ponyville, whom Dais at the time had thought were passing him
off when really they just didn't know who he was - all of them
building up in one massive chorus of rejection. The mere thought
of it sent Dais over the completely edge. What had he done
wrong? Why didn't those ponies want to be friends with him? It
wasn't fair!
Rising above all the voices was Brash. How could anypony be so
cold as to not want to be friends with Dais, either now or in
times past - or ever? Was he not a good enough friend? Did Brash
not like him? Had he done something wrong? Was he a bad pony?
Maybe he just wasn't cool enough? Was he getting old? He was
kind of old. Perhaps he had to track down the fountain of youth?
Or maybe Brash just didn't think he was strong enough. Maybe he
just looked like a puny wimp to her. Perhaps he would need his
brother's expertise, or some kind of magic potion to change
that. Or was Brash concerned about Dais' intelligence? Did Dais
really present himself as that much of a bumbling fool? It was a
long shot, but Dais really didn't know. Perhaps he had made a
mistake on that building's tax forms, and Brash was insulted or
something?
Regardless of what it was, Dais just knew it was clearly his
fault. He was a failure of a pony who couldn't make friends.
Indeed, he hadn't been this lost in a long time. He had no idea
what he was going to do, and a million crazy schemes ran through
his mind. Dais wasn't angry - just lonely, depressed and
completely self-loathing.
#Post#: 2267--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Carri Air Date: April 20, 2014, 11:51 pm
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Thinking she may have lost him Carri takes to the air, placing
the book on her hat. Not spotting him initially Carri nearly
passes by the park before hearing a faint sobbing. Quickly
turning back she finds Dais and lands near him. With his face
buried in his hooves, it dawns upon Carri that the way she
approaches this is vitally important; In fact so important that
she knows for sure she should think about it, but what if there
isn't time for that? If she takes too long, he could make up his
mind and be sad forever, that's how it works right? Or if she
doesn't think long enough she could say the wrong thing with the
same result!
Carri, lost in her confusion, realizes she very well may have
already taken too long on this train of thought. Her friend
might now be forever sad and this causes her to also become sad.
With tears welling up her sobbing begins, with shaky hooves she
retrieves the book and hoofs it over, forgetting to grab Dais's
attention first, but this task proves difficult between heavy
sobs and snorting up now loose snot.
#Post#: 2268--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Dais Clash Date: April 21, 2014, 1:49 am
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Dais barely even registered Carri's existence as she landed by
his side. He certainly didn't register who it was. Why was this
pony crying? Was he so lamentable that she had to cry merely
because he existed? Maybe it was the mere sight of him that was
repulsive? Actually, Dais didn't really want to find out. He
just wanted it to be over. All those nasty voices in his mind
were not getting any quieter.
Then, Carri handed over the book. Dais recognized instantly
which book it was from the smell of the decaying pages. The book
that he really should have kept reading. Why did he even bother
going out of his way to help other ponies when some of them
wouldn't even be his friend? It made Dais feel naive and stupid.
On another level, it reminded Dais of his time working in the
Manehatten library. Not exactly the happiest of his
recollections.
Nevertheless, he took comfort in knowing that the book was
something to smash his stupid head against while he figured
something out. He didn't want to be responsible for any damages
to the park's benches anyway - that wouldn't be good for him or
the mayor. Perhaps in time to come it could also be useful as a
reminder never to help ponies ever again, or suffer the
terrible, inevitable consequences of loss and rejection. It
reminded him a little of the tale of Nightmare Moon, the
rejected princess. Perhaps he should go to the moon for a
thousand years? At least there he could be away from all these
ponies, no longer able to bring down their lives with his
unfriendliness...
"T..." began Dais through a sniffle, but then he stops well
short of the full automatic "Thank you" that he always said when
ponies gave him stuff. Dais just turned it into more crying, and
brought a hoof from his face to push the book away from him -
revealing his bloodstained eyes, drained yet tear-drenched face,
and messy mane. His face looked more like a vampire than a pony.
In any event, if taking this book was going to make him turn out
anything like the evil Nightmare Moon he didn't want it. There
just had to be another way. Somehow he had to make everypony
want to be his friend. Somehow... no matter what, Dais was
determined to be kind and helpful, not mean and nasty. Unless of
course a mean and nasty Dais is what friends wanted... Dais
hated himself for even thinking such dark thoughts, but he
couldn't shake them.
Then he saw the young Carri crying out too. His natural instinct
was to try to help her, but he restrained himself, instead
bringing his hoof back to his face, embarrassed the young foal
had even seen him like this. "Please..." he whimpered in between
sobs "I'm not a bad pony... I was only trying to help..."
#Post#: 2273--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Carri Air Date: April 21, 2014, 9:27 am
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Carri's thought were dispelled at Dais's words and her crying
slowly stopped. "Wha... bu-" Carri cleans off her face with a
foreleg, and begins speaking quickly as if she's figured it all
out "This is about Brash right? She was mean and you didn't
understand that that's just how she is? 'Cause she actually just
doesn't like mushy feelings and nice words and while she may
come off as nasty she'll always be willing to do nice things and
be everypony's friend. Like that time where she called me a
bumbling idiot, or a dimwitted fool, or a - anyway she still
gave me a place to stay while I start up my business! And... uh,
just don't be sad forever okay?"
Carri remains a bit shaky, in a panic that she was too late and
failed to save her friend, or maybe her words were wrong to the
same result.
#Post#: 2274--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Dais Clash Date: April 21, 2014, 9:51 am
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"But she practically said I'm an unfriendly, naive, stupid,
ugly, useless, slow, puny, Nightmare-Moon-ish jerk" whispered
Dais sadly. His tears had all dried up from dehydration, but
Dais kept his face buried in his hooves with shame and regret,
and even his whisper came out muffled and sad. "I'm sure you're
right. Brash must be a great friend. That Brash still befriends
you after seeing you being an idiot shows just how great of a
friend she really is. But not me - Brash just joined that long
list of ponies who will never accept me as a friend. It's my
fault Brash doesn't like me. Everything's my fault. What did I
do to deserve this? I'm sorry Carri. I really am sorry for being
such a useless friend. In fact, I'm sorry that I even met you.
Now I've probably spoiled your life too. You know I never asked
for this, right? It's not my fault I'm so horrible - I try my
best, really. But still I'm never good enough. Everypony ends up
hating me... everypony..."
Dais continued talking, but by now his speech was too mumbled
and slurred to form any recognizable words at all.
#Post#: 2275--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Carri Air Date: April 21, 2014, 10:25 am
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Carri had only said she was 'called' an idiot, yet Dais may have
implied that she actually was. As well Dais didn't seem to get
what she was attempting to convey, this didn't deter her
however, she simply had to phrase her words correctly as to not
be misunderstood.
"And she'd say it all again, Brash -is- your friend though, what
I'm trying to say is she'll always deny it. I know that doesn't
sound believable, but if you went and asked her for help I know
she'd accept, or if you wanted to help her she'd give you
something to do, and that's what friends do. So don't let her
words get you down." Carri takes a moment to think and
continues, "You should know I'm sure Brash appreciates that
you're okay with her owning her own house at her age, she was
concerned an official would come by and bring her to an
orphanage. In fact, even though she's busy right now I'm sure
she's planning a gift for you to make up for what she did."
"You know what I think, maybe you're just assuming too much, I
bet most of those ponies you think hate you might be like Brash,
just a little harsh on the outside, and when you run away from
them they feel the same as you do now." Carri nods to herself,
having just passed along words from her parents.
#Post#: 2277--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Dais Clash Date: April 21, 2014, 10:56 am
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Dais felt a little conflicted about Carri's words. On the one
hoof, he certainly wouldn't mind it being true. It reminded him
of a couple of his rejections that had gone down in a similar
way to that. On the other hoof, that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
There was a distinct rational voice crying from deep inside
Dais' mind to just trust Carri and not worry, yet it was being
drowned out by that haunting chorus of ponies telling Dais in
various ways how he was worthless as a friend. He knew it wasn't
rational or reasonable, and he couldn't explain it, but somehow
that fear still came out stronger. Just as it always had.
For a few heavy breaths Dais took his time, collecting himself.
Then, quite quietly, he sat up and swallowed hard. "Carri" he
said, sounding somewhat more reasonable and composed, though the
evidence of his distraution remained littered across his face,
"I know you only mean the best, but you really don't understand.
Even if Brash was my friend and only wanted to hide it, that's
worse than if she was my outright enemy. Am I really such a bad
pony that it's so terrible to be called my friend, that even my
friends are judged for my faults? I know I'm not a very friendly
pony, but I really... wait a moment..."
Dais stopped abruptly and narrowed his eyes at Carri, much as he
had done to Brash earlier. "Did you just say Brash was living
there alone? Why didn't you mention that earlier? We need to get
her to an orphanage immediately!"
Dais sprang up from his tear-stained bench as if ready for
action, despite still looking distinctly distraught. He scarcely
made it one step, however, before he stopped, sat down and
looked at the ground again with drooped ears and eyes that were
crying without tears. "What's the point?" he muttered "That'll
just make her hate me even more. I just can't do the right thing
no matter what. It's like destiny wants me to be a failure."
#Post#: 2278--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Carri Air Date: April 21, 2014, 12:33 pm
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"I do think Brash might get violent if you tried to bring her to
an orphanage, but she'd understand." Carri sits down as well,
"Did you know Brash is my first friend? I only met her a couple
days ago but they've been the best days of my life so far. Brash
is smart and can take care of herself. She talks a lot and I
learned a good bit about her. I think she's scared of being seen
as a good pony or making friends. In fact even though I've seen
her project I'm starting to think it's an excuse to stay locked
away... You're really nice, most ponies just get angry at Brash
and ignore her, or treat her like she's just not smart enough to
know how rude she's being. You'd still help her if she needed it
even now right?"
"What I'm trying to say is Brash won't deny your friendship
because of you, it's because of something that happened to her,
and even though I don't know what that is just yet, ponies like
you and I should stay strong and help her through it." Of course
even now Carri was just assuming things, but she couldn't think
of a better explanation.
#Post#: 2279--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Dais Clash Date: April 21, 2014, 1:28 pm
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Dais sniffled a little, and shuddered because he was cold.
The more Carri talked about Brash, the more messed up and bad he
felt. If Brash was really as mean as he suspected he felt bad
because she was right - if she was really as nice as Carri said
he felt bad for how he treated her. It seemed no matter what
Carri said, everything just felt like it was pushing all of the
blame on to him. Even when she directly said she thought the
real issue lay in Brash's past, all that Dais heard was that he
had been an insensitive idiot. It made Dais feel even more weak
and hopeless than he already was.
Something else just occurred to Dais. Few ponies ever took this
long to really talk to him. Granted, they were mostly talking
about Carri's friend Brash, and Dais supposed if they had been
talking about him instead the conversation would have died long
ago. But talking in general felt nice. Usually he had only his
brother to talk to. In any event it certainly increased his
respect for Carri somewhat.
"Thanks Carri" he whispered solemnly "But honestly right now I
don't know what I'll do. I really don't think Brash will want to
see such useless non-friends as me again. Who am I kidding? I
can't help ponies. I can't even help me. I should just quit my
job and become a lonely hermit somewhere. Brash is really lucky
to have a friend as good as you, but I'm sure I'd just get in
her way. And the worst part is Brash was completely right. I am
a useless friend, and I just feel so bad about that. Even if
you're right about everything - then I'm still a useless friend
because of how I treated her back there. Makes me wish my mentor
had taught me some time spells so I could go back and fix this
really."
#Post#: 2281--------------------------------------------------
Re: Down in the park
By: Carri Air Date: April 21, 2014, 2:11 pm
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"You helped me." Carri recalls with a smile, "I would still be
here picking up my mess if it weren't for you."
Carri clears her throat to quote her parents again, "If your
intentions are good the results don't matter and you've only
truly done something bad when you give up on those intentions.
My mom told me that and I think it applies here... like the
worst thing you can do now is give up on helping Brash and
anypony else. There's a word for that... uh... something..."
Carri glances about as she tries to recall the word she needs.
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