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#Post#: 706--------------------------------------------------
Hakito - The Trip To New York
By: Mascii Date: June 12, 2013, 11:22 am
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Yukito Maki
HTML http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j110/MaskedNicci/tumblr_lq076yjkIO1qhwguzo1_500_zps5a96b563.jpg
He woke up to the constant noise of New York city. Even though
their hotel room was spacious, upper class, and seemed more like
an apartment than a room, it still couldn't block out the wall
of sound that came with such an enormous city. Yukito rubbed his
eyes with his knuckles, blinking at the sunlight that came in
through the window, the blinds pushed haphazardly aside. It was
Sunday morning...their last day in New York. The real last day.
And Yukito was relieved for it. He had felt even more like a
wandering ghost, just lingering in the hotel room for all hours
of the day, unless Hal came and summoned him.
Yukito had managed to convince Hal to give him his own hotel
room, which was nice. But Yukito was sure Hal hadn't been very
happy about it, even if their rooms were one of those suite
types where there was a door in between that could be locked or
unlocked. Yukito was so sure that Hal had disabled the lock that
he hadn't even tried it. He just waited for Hal to call him and
update him on the progress of the conferences and their trip
plans, as well as to tell him when to get ready for another
meeting.
Slowly, Yukito crawled out of the bed. It was already ten
o'clock. Why had Hal let him sleep in so long? Of course, he was
grateful for the extra sleep, but..it was odd. Maybe their
morning had just been free. Maybe he hadn't heard Hal trying to
wake him up. Either way, Yukito went to the mini-fridge and
pulled out a bottle of water, taking it outside onto the little
mini-balcony outside. There was a set of uncomfortable wire
chairs and a small table out there, and he had spent a lot of
the last few days out here, pretending that he was inhaling
fresh fall air instead of pollution. At least the weather was
alright. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he sipped at his
water, testing out the silence and wondering if it was peaceful
or lonely.
Dr Hal Ramsey
HTML http://allaboutt.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/cillian-murphy-by-yu-tsai_flaunt_2.jpg
They were in one of the most famous cities on the planet. A
place where teenagers often spoke of coming to see the sights
and find career opportunities the rest of the world could not
offer. But Yukito Ramsey wanted to stay in his room.
Hal simply could not avoid how confused he was, caught between
understanding and frustration.
They were both so out of their element here. The bustle of a big
city had never suited either of them.
Pulling Yukito to every conference was an incredible hassle. The
boy seemed so set upon remaining in his room -- and he had
somehow managed to get his own -- as much as humanly possible
during their trip.
Well, Hal had grown tired of the weary look on Yukito's face
when he dragged him out of bed every morning, the distant looks
during breakfast and lunch and dinner, the irritated looks
during every presentation and conference. He'd let Yukito sleep
in this morning, and was just now realizing the time in order to
wake his ever-tired son. Teenagers would stay in bed as long as
they were allowed, he'd come to realize, and Yukito would take
this even farther when he was unhappy with the way things were
going.
With a sigh, Hal shut his laptop and rose. It was time to do
what they'd really come here for.
Knocking lightly on the door between their rooms, Hal slowly
opened the door just far enough to see into the room. The room
looked deserted, the bed was unmade, and the doors to the
balcony were open. Taking in a breath, Hal walked towards the
small balcony, walking quietly and carefully so he didn't alarm
the boy.
Yukito appeared to be curled up on one of the chairs, drinking
water slowly.
Pausing, Hal made no noise as he stood in the doorway. He was
sent back to when Yukito had first woken up in the small
hospital room that Hal had made for his own patients.
Traumatized, the small boy was so confused, looking up at two
cold-hearted doctors as they stood above him. Hal had told
Yukito not to panic, that he was in a hospital, and asked if he
remember what had happened in the accident that had brought him
there. Hal remembered their confusion when the boy choked out
one word, then repeated it when they did not understand.
"... Mizu... Mizu..."
He remembered the broken child that he'd drawn up into his arms,
the blood and gash on the back of Yukito's head... he remembered
not feeling anything then, only focused on his goal. If any
feeling was going through him, it had been anticipation of the
surgery... he remembered being so frozen and distant. He had
felt more victorious in that moment, with so many failures
behind him, than he did for many years after.
In that moment, he realized that he had almost forgotten the
feeling of failure.
Deciding to push it out of his mind, Hal leaned against the door
frame, folding his arms over his chest and staring out into the
city. He never knew what to do or what to say to his son. All he
knew for sure was that he loved Yukito, and there was nothing
that could change that now. He'd lost everyone he loved. It was
like... a disease.
Something inside of him twisted at the thought of that word.
He didn't look at Yukito. He couldn't even see him right now. He
waited for several minutes, knowing his son would notice him.
Instead of trying to fill the silence, he greeted it, letting it
fill the space between them so their time together didn't seem
so empty.
"This city is too expansive for me," he said, softly. "I can
look out at it, and know there are a million things to see, and
yet... the desire to see them does not outweigh the loss of
place, of the animosity of strangers, the possibility of losing
myself in this city." He licked his lips slowly, wanting nothing
more than to destroy every barrier between them so that he
could, somehow, reach his son in this giant place. "But it's
nothing, is it? Nothing compared to the distance that's grown
between us."
Running his teeth along his bottom lip, Hal thought for a
moment.
"Do you hate the way we live our lives, Yukito? Do you hate that
I gave you your Enhancement, the life I've made for us, the
Academy" He kept his eyes on the city, not looking at anything
in particular, noticing the grayness and the way the city dulled
the light of the sun. "Or is it only me that you hate?"
Yukito Ramsey
He didn't know how long Hal had been standing there, but it had
surprised him, nonetheless. Hal could be soundless if he wanted
to be, and it kind of unnerved Yukito out when he did so. He
didn't seem to be looking at Yukito, however, and so the boy
continued to drink his water as they waited there in silence.
Periodically, Yukito sent curious glances over at the man,
sensing that there was something to be said, but having no idea
what it could be. He wasn't acting like his normal self. Hal was
a man of precision, each movement, each gesture, each word meant
something. Even if most people didn't understand it.
Whatever it was, though, Yukito wasn't going to press for it. If
Hal was angry that he'd slept in, he would say so without any
prompting. Perhaps he was searching for some activity to fill
their time with, so Yukito wasn't just sitting in the hotel room
on the computer the entire time. It wasn't necessarily that
there was nothing for him to be interested in outside of the
hotel room walls - it was more that he was eager to be home, and
the pressing need to return made him feel there wasn't really
time to spare for adventuring. Besides, what would Hal do if
Yukito "got lost" as he put it? It wasn't as if the streets of
New York allowed him to move about as freely as in their small
hometown. Here, in the very least, he was limited by horrible
traffic and the thousands of people that swarmed around, making
it difficult to find anybody using chance.
If Yukito had been left at home, around this time Hal would be
calling in to check in on him. Feigning some stupid paperwork or
question, Yukito easily saw through Hal's guise on that front,
at least. They were neither of them prone to very direct words,
and Yukito was not the most talented at reading people, but he
understood Hal's concern for Yukito's safety, beyond any words
Hal could say.
But there's so much you need to say. Like the true story of how
our lives became entwined. And what happened to my real mother.
And why you lied. And why it was me. Was I just a chance
opportunity? Was I chosen? Am I a reject that you took in? Am I
more than that? Yukito took another sip of water, thinking on
the newspaper article that he had entrusted to Erin. In the last
few days in New York, he had realized that he no longer had the
article memorized by heart, and he contemplated what that could
mean.
"This city is too expansive for me," Hal said softly,
interrupted Yukito's thoughts. He looked over at Hal, curiously.
"I can look out at it, and know there are a million things to
see, and yet... the desire to see them does not outweigh the
loss of place, of the animosity of strangers, the possibility of
losing myself in this city." Hal licked his lips, prone to the
habit since before Yukito could remember. Yukito merely waited,
having no clue what Hal was talking about. "But it's nothing, is
it? Nothing compared to the distance that's grown between us."
That caused Yukito's heart to skip a beat, though he wasn't sure
why. Hal's very posture was changed as he spoke. The usual cool
exterior had melted away before his eyes, now a mere skeleton of
its former rigid strength. Not that Hal suddenly seemed warm or
welcoming - on the contrary, he looked more like he had been
personally wounded, and Yukito waited to hear some sort of
rebuke. Possibly for the strange events from a few days before
their trip, when both Natalie and Erin had been found hiding out
in the Ramsey home, with Hal having no prior knowledge of it.
Nonetheless, Yukito took another sip of water, looking lost. He
wasn't sure if he should be worried, amused, or confused, but
decided he was a strange mixture of both. "What?" Where was this
different Hal coming from, talking about getting lost in crowds
and distances? It unsettled him more than he could express.
"Do you hate the way we live our lives, Yukito? Do you hate that
I gave you your Enhancement, the life I've made for us, the
Academy" Hal still didn't turn toward Yukito, so he didn't see
the way Yukito's hand clenched the water bottle in his hand. No,
he didn't hate his life. And he didn't hate his Enhancement,
either. If anyone asked him, he would have to say that he loved
having wings. He wished he could use them properly, though. He
wished he could live up to the height of the expectations that
came with them. But he loved having his wings. They felt like a
sort of hidden freedom that people liked to overlook. They
suited him more than anything else. "Or is it only me that you
hate?"
"What?" he let out a sort of half-laugh from disbelief. It had
been the last thing Yukito expected to hear him say. "What are
you talking about? Hate? I don't hate you." He shifted the water
bottle from one hand to the next. He was unsure about a lot of
things, but this, he was fairly sure on. "Look, I know you're
still mad about the other day, with Erin and all...but I meant
it when I said we only wanted to talk.."
Dr Hal Ramsey
Yukito seemed unfazed by his presence. Good. He hadn't meant to
startle him, so he was relieved that the boy was as collected as
he'd hoped. This conversation had been lingering at the back of
his mind... so many things left unsaid that he supposed might
always stay that way... so many things he desperately needed to
hear.
But that wasn't a way to begin a conversation.
Looking out at the city, he thought, finding a place to start.
"This city is too expansive for me." He heard a slight creak of
the chair. A somewhat reaction, he supposed. "I can look out at
it, and know there are a million things to see, and yet... the
desire to see them does not outweigh the loss of place, of the
animosity of strangers, the possibility of losing myself in this
city." He licked his lips slowly, tasting the putrid air and
giving himself time to think. "But it's nothing, is it? Nothing
compared to the distance that's grown between us."
"What?" He could read a bit into Yukito's tone, but never
entirely. He seemed a bit miffed, maybe... confused. Unsure.
Hal tried something he wasn't sure would convey what he wanted
to.
"Do you hate the way we live our lives, Yukito? Do you hate that
I gave you your Enhancement, the life I've made for us, the
Academy?" He waited, trying to form his words. "Or is it only me
that you hate?"
That was the real thing he wanted an answer to. A true answer
to.
"What?" Yukito questioned, seeming surprised. Maybe even
genuinely. But Hal refused to accept that.
"You heard me," he said, distantly.
"What are you talking about? Hate? I don't hate you." Hal looked
over at Yukito, he was shifting a bit. Watching Yukito's body
language, he tried to interpret his words. Did he sound unsure?
Did he seem to be lying? Hal couldn't tell... but he seemed to
be being truthful. Could he be? Hal wasn't sure. "Look, I know
you're still mad about the other day, with Erin and all..."
Hal shook his head slowly. "I'm not angry with you," he replied,
quietly.
"...but I meant it when I said we only wanted to talk.."
Looking away, Hal nodded slowly. "I know. I should have believed
you." Letting out a sigh, Hal thought for a moment. "You do...
you do know that I... I value your opinion... I really do... you
know that, don't you?" He sent a glance to Yukito, his eyes
honest, which was notably rare. "I want to know what you truly
think. I always do."
He cleared his throat slightly, looking into Yukito's eyes.
"Never lie to me." He paused, swallowing. "Are you happy?"
Yukito Ramsey
He couldn't help but shift uncomfortably under the sudden direct
way that Hal was speaking to him. Going from the regular
distance and order of their norm, then today suddenly being so
probing, like he was trying to interrogate him. Talking about
hate, and wandering cities...Yukito felt it all meant something
he was supposed to understand, some sort of insinuation that he
wasn't getting. But he couldn't piece it together. Nothing Hal
was saying was making sense.
"Look, I know you're still mad about the other day, with Erin
and all..." He hated to be the one to bring it up again. They
had both done brilliantly at pretending it never happened. After
he had escaped, Yukito had spent the rest of the day in his
room, doing his best to stay out of the way. Hal had gone back
to wandering the house like he was a stranger, saying little to
Yukito that wasn't necessary. Of course, Erin had not come back
to the house. True to her nature, she tried to check up on
Yukito, wanting to make sure he was alright. But Yukito was
doing his best to deflect her, hoping that the distance would
make her forget.
Now he was looking at Yukito, looking at him for answers to
questions that seemed to come out of nowhere. Hal shook his head
slowly. "I'm not angry with you," he replied, quietly. Yukito
shifted in his seat, disbelieving in that. How could he not be
angry, when he had said those things? If he wasn't angry at
Yukito, then that meant he was angry at Erin, and Yukito would
rather Hal be angry with him... He wanted to clear Erin's name
for Hal, once and for all, but he wasn't sure how he could prove
that.
"...but I meant it when I said we only wanted to talk.."
Looking away, Hal nodded slowly. "I know. I should have believed
you." Yukito glanced up at Hal as the man let out a sigh. Did he
really regret it? It was strange to think that this could be a
sort of apology, Hal's way of saying he was sorry.
"You do... you do know that I... I value your opinion... I
really do... you know that, don't you?" He sent a glance to
Yukito, an unexpected amount of emotion in the man's eyes. It
was one of those moments when Yukito was reminded of how blue
Hal's eyes were. They were almost too bright, and they gave Hal
an extra air of cool, collected distance. Often, Yukito hated
that color. It sent shivers up his spine, and he would look in
the mirror at his own dark brown eyes, and he wondered at many
things. Yukito curled up ever tighter on his chair, his arms
pulling his legs up into his chest. He couldn't think of a time
he had felt that Hal valued his opinion. He wanted to hear
Yukito's thoughts, he wanted to know everything about Yukito.
But he wasn't sure if it made any difference, other than that
Hal knew everything. Like always. "I want to know what you truly
think. I always do."
Yukito really wanted to believe that. But when Hal's word was
law, what was he to do? You own me. Like a car. Cars don't
think.
Hal cleared his throat, and Yukito raised his eyes back to Hal's
face to find the doctor looking down at him, waiting. "Never lie
to me." He paused, swallowing. Yukito knew that already. But he
couldn't help but be afraid, and hide things. Was that the same
as lying to him? Refusing to tell him things he didn't want to
hear? "Are you happy?"
Yukito frowned pensively, pulling himself even closer together.
A very long several minutes passed. Yukito didn't move or do
anything, he just thought. What did he think of his life? With
Hal, at the school, with his friends? There were good points and
bad points. There were terrifying moments, like finding photos
of himself online that he hadn't known about. Like standing in
front of hundreds of people with nowhere to hide, exposed beyond
what he was willing to do. There were exhilarating moments, like
when he had jumped off the roof of the school to fly for Lilith
and Reese to prove himself. Like sitting at the buffet table,
surrounding by his friends on their 'group date', with laughter
and normal teenager things.
Was he truly happy? Or was he miserable?
He thought of the way he was always at home, stuck between the
four walls of the Ramsey household. Watching the years go by,
just biding his time with no opportunity to move from the
stagnant place they had placed themselves. This weird impasse
that Hal and he had found themselves in, unable to speak and
unable to move, was maddening.
Perhaps others didn't see what he and Hal saw. But if they were
incapable of communicating, of changing and growing, what did it
matter what they saw? If Yukito's true self was always locked
away inside his head, then he would die with no one ever
knowing. No one would ever know.
But at the same time, he knew that if he were to say these
things to Hal, now, then the rest of their trip would pass in an
even colder silence than before.
Never lie to me.
Yukito lowered his head, unable to betray his true feelings,
even if it were to make things easier for himself.
“No,” he said at last.
#Post#: 707--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hakito - The Trip To New York
By: Mascii Date: June 12, 2013, 11:22 am
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Dr Hal Ramsey
"You do... you do know that I... I value your opinion... I
really do... you know that, don't you?" Hal wasn't used to the
caution in his voice right now, but he had to be sure to say
this the way he wanted to. His usual devil-may-care attitude
towards the reactions and feelings of others didn't apply to
Yukito. It never really had. He watched Yukito, trying to
contain the confusion inside of himself and simply understand
the boy in front of him. Yukito hugged his knees tightly,
looking away. "I want to know what you truly think. I always
do."
Yukito said nothing, and Hal felt a twinge in his stomach. Did
Yukito know that? Probably not.
How could you trust someone you'd never loved?
Clearing his throat, Hal met Yukito's eyes, getting ready to say
what he really wanted to. "Never lie to me." He watched his son
evenly, gauging the slightly nervous reaction with suspicion.
"Are you happy?"
Yukito frowned, thinking for a long time before lowering his
head and saying quietly, “No.”
He hadn't fully prepared himself for the response. Even after
all these years with Yukito, Hal had never been prepared to hear
that. Biting his lip, Hal turned sharply, walking over to the
edge of the balcony and steeling his emotions. The throbbing,
twisting feeling in his stomach was almost too much to
camouflage, and he knew it had flashed across his face before he
could hide it properly.
Maybe Yukito hadn't noticed.
Hal tried in vain to formulate a remark to retaliate the pain
that had caused him, but he had no ammunition comparable. He had
none at all. He was stripped of any weapon he could have used,
left alone with his melodramatic, ridiculous attachment to this
boy who wasn't even supposed to live.
"Oh," he sighed, fighting to keep the strain out of his voice
and succeeding -- for the most part. "I'm sorry," he added, his
voice lowering. "I will try to do better by you, son."
He let a silent set in, unwilling to break it, fearing it would
break him if he tried.
"Well, I..." He took in a breath and tried again. "I have been
thinking. I... I went to get my eyes examined and they
recommended that I get a cane, to help with my lack of
peripheral vision..." He turned, looking at Yukito, leaning back
on the railing. "What do you think of your father having a cane?
Does the idea absolutely embarrass you?"
Yukito Ramsey
It was amazing, the effect of a single word. Yukito felt like he
had never given a more straightforward answer to anything in his
life, and it was because of such a reaction that he avoided
doing such things. Hal was turned away from him, but Yukito
could still tangibly feel in the air the painful twist like a
knife, could sense the disappointment and the injury. Even
without seeing Hal's face, Yukito still felt he had somehow
failed him with his inability to be happy. Despite all the time,
money and effort Hal had invested in him, Yukito was still so
unhappy. Even without concern or responsibility, Yukito managed
to fail him again and again. Needing the therapy, the medicines,
the strict rules...was there anything he could do right?
"Oh," Hal let out a sigh, and Yukito hugged his knees ever more
tightly, until his foot started to fall asleep from the lack of
blood flow. "I'm sorry," he added, his voice lowering. "I will
try to do better by you, son."
A horribly uncomfortable silence floated down around them, and
Yukito bit his lip. I'm sorry, too.
"Well, I..." Hal took a breath, obviously trying to recover and
not quite succeeding in doing so. Yukito would have apologized
then, and took back what he said. But Hal had strictly told him
not to lie, and he would probably just reprimand Yukito for
apologizing needlessly again. So instead, Hal tried to change
the subject to a more neutral topic. "I have been thinking. I...
I went to get my eyes examined and they recommended that I get a
cane, to help with my lack of peripheral vision..." He turned,
looking at Yukito, leaning back on the railing. Yukito stared
down at his feet, stretching it to regain blood flow, attempting
the same kind of cool atmosphere that Hal had, even though his
chest hurt so painfully right now. "What do you think of your
father having a cane? Does the idea absolutely embarrass you?"
Normally, Yukito would have responded with something nonchalant,
like, 'I don't care' or 'Whatever works'. But now, Yukito felt
he at least owed Hal some kind of helpful response, so he
considered for a moment, tilting his head to the side.
“You should get one with a cool creature head as the handle.
Like a dragon or something.” It was a simple thing to say, but
he hoped it helped even a little bit. The slightest ghost of a
smile flickered across his lips, but he didn't have the power to
make it stay. Yukito thought it interesting that Hal had brought
up his vision, of all things. Yukito knew that Hal had memorized
the layout of the house well enough to get around without
hesitation, but he also knew that Hal's vision was worse off
than he liked to let on. Hence, Yukito tried to be careful about
placing his things – around the parts of the house not his own
bedroom, at least – in the same place whenever he could. Whereas
Yukito's own room was a place of refuge and disregard,
purposefully chaotic, Yukito was now habitually very clean and
careful to return everything to its rightful place. He couldn't
do much, but he could at least do that, right? He couldn't
imagine having such severe tunnel vision. His ability to see
what was going on around him seemed very important to Yukito.
But it was still weird to think of his father with a cane. It
was like Hal finally had to admit that something was wrong. And
they were both so good at avoiding such things as admitting
weakness or issue.
“It will probably help a lot,” he said, liking the idea more
after mulling over it for a bit. “In one of the games Reese and
I play, this guy uses a cane as a weapon. He's one of the
stronger characters, too.” Yukito smiled a bit at that. It was
one of his choice characters to play. “There's this one combo
move that he has that's really neat looking. He kind of uses the
cane to flip over his opponent, and that leaves his opponent
open on the back side for more combo moves. If you manage to do
it quickly enough, you can win almost every time.”
Dr. Hal Ramsey
"Well, I..."
Standing there, the haze of a bad feeling just hung over them
like the sorrowful branches of a dying willow tree, the air of
New York seeping deep into their lungs and only making the pang
of guilt worsen steadily with each passing moment. He tried to
correct it, his shoulders heavy with the weight that just kept
getting heavier. All that he'd tried to do... all that he had
done... none of it had been as successful as he'd thought. None
of it was worth it if he couldn't take care of his son. And what
use was it to care for the body and not the mind? In one so
young... there was no use in worsening the psychological damage
to cure the physical ailments.
He just didn't know what to do anymore.
Not that he'd breathe a word of it to his son. No. Absolutely
not. He was the father, the strong figure, the one who should
have everything under control so that his son could be a child
while he still had the chance. But... could Yukito see through
it? Probably. It was something he could never escape,
unfortunately... having a very intelligent son meant it was very
difficult to fool him. At any rate, the least he could do was
not put so much pressure on that single word.
"I have been thinking. I..." Hal tried to regain his composure.
It was not a successful attempt, and he could feel the heat on
the back of his neck that told him he wasn't fooling Yukito
either. "I went to get my eyes examined and they recommended
that I get a cane, to help with my lack of peripheral vision..."
Leaning back on the railing, Hal tried to get a look at Yukito's
face, though the response was the boy looking away. "What do you
think of your father having a cane? Does the idea absolutely
embarrass you?"
Yukito seemed to contemplate it for a moment before responding.
Honestly, Hal was a bit surprised that he composed a reply at
all -- he would usually have been too distant to give an
opinion. Hal narrowed his eyes just slightly, a bit suspicious
of this activity. “You should get one with a cool creature head
as the handle. Like a dragon or something.” Yukito put on a
small smile that withered with the pressure of a few seconds,
and Hal tilted his head slightly, putting on a more steady smile
of his own.
"Don't you think that would look a bit too menacing? Your
friends are already so intimidated by me," he said, his voice a
bit flat now but just a trace of amusement could be found, and
if anyone could hear these things in his voice, he would want it
to be Yukito. "Besides, I'm afraid I would only end up beating
it across some of their heads." He looked rather pointedly at
Yukito, a flash of an honest smile in his eyes. "And the
children would have yet another reason to laugh at this old
man."
“It will probably help a lot,” Yukito pointed out, seeming a bit
more lukewarm to the idea than Hal had expected. “In one of the
games Reese and I play, this guy uses a cane as a weapon. He's
one of the stronger characters, too.” Hal thought he saw
Yukito's face break into a real smile for a moment. “There's
this one combo move that he has that's really neat looking. He
kind of uses the cane to flip over his opponent, and that leaves
his opponent open on the back side for more combo moves. If you
manage to do it quickly enough, you can win almost every time.”
Hal looked away, out at the city, to mask his smirk of approval.
"Well, perhaps I should get a cane like his, then at least your
friend Reese could defend me among the other students." He
sighed, his smile still lingering. "I can't say I wouldn't like
to be so spry as that."
Taking in a deep breath, Hal leaned his head back, looking up at
the sky and squinting a bit. "Would you like to go looking for
one with me?" He paused a moment, thinking on how to word this.
"I must be honest." Hal looked at Yukito, his lungs tight. "The
idea of shopping for a cane makes me feel like... like a very
old man." His lips twisted with a bit of disgust at the idea.
"Having you there would make it more... bearable."
Yukito Ramsey
“You should get one with a cool creature head as the handle.
Like a dragon or something.” Yukito gave his best attempt at a
smile, trying to picture Hal stalking the halls of the school
with a cane, a dragon's maw open wide in attack and the sharp
click click of his shoes on the tile.
"Don't you think that would look a bit too menacing? Your
friends are already so intimidated by me," he said, sounding to
Yukito as though he was trying to make a joke. ”Besides, I'm
afraid I would only end up beating it across some of their
heads." Yukito arched an eyebrow at that, seeing a flicker of
amusement in the man's eyes. "And the children would have yet
another reason to laugh at this old man."
There was a way in which Hal spoke around Yukito that he had
noticed never occurred around others outside their strange, tiny
family. He berated himself quite openly, talking about his
negative traits in a way that made Yukito uncomfortable, as
though he expected Yukito to offer denials or condolences. Being
unsure, Yukito often retreated into a sort of silence on the
matter for the most part, leaving indecision but unable to
escape the sense of obligation.
“But you need it,” he pointed out, “It will probably help a lot.
In one of the games Reese and I play, this guy uses a cane as a
weapon. He's one of the stronger characters, too.” Yukito didn't
realize it, but he gave the first genuine smile for the weekend,
then. His mind flickered back to the gaming binges that he and
Reese would go on, determined to play until their eyes were too
sore to continue. He was generally better at the games, but
sometimes Reese would catch him on a losing streak that injured
his pride deeply. “There's this one combo move that he has
that's really neat looking. He kind of uses the cane to flip
over his opponent, and that leaves his opponent open on the back
side for more combo moves. If you manage to do it quickly
enough, you can win almost every time.”
Hal turned, and Yukito wondered if he had sounded quite
ridiculous. He was almost an adult, after all. Perhaps he was
expected to speak about more weighted subjects, and with a
different sort of enthusiasm. "Well, perhaps I should get a cane
like his, then at least your friend Reese could defend me among
the other students." He sighed, and Yukito couldn't help but
tilt his head a bit to the side with curiosity. "I can't say I
wouldn't like to be so spry as that."
Yukito said nothing, watching his adoptive father look out
across the city, taking a deep breath. "Would you like to go
looking for one with me?"
“Hm?” Yukito wasn't sure why Hal should want him to come. It
wasn't as if he was an expert on cane-picking. "I must be
honest." Hal looked at Yukito, and something in his expression
caught Yukito's breath like a slap to the face, and he inhaled
sharply without a sound. He watched the fine twistings of Hal's
expression wordlessly, unsure what Hal intended to express, not
sure what he expected from his son. "The idea of shopping for a
cane makes me feel like... like a very old man. Having you there
would make it more... bearable."
Even so, Yukito didn't understand. Reese said that Yukito was
secretly an old man deep inside, and others said he was too much
like Dr. Ramsey as it was. How he, of all people, could make
aging a more bearable a task, he had no idea. It wasn't as if he
could halt time with a single magical word, or make Hal forget,
or even keep him distracted properly. But his father had asked
him to go, so he would. Stretching his arms out, as the curled
up position he had kept on the chair was making him cramp. He
looked up at his father's face, and gave a slow nod, taking a
drink from his water and finishing it off. “Okay,” he said,
standing up.
“I'm going back inside,” he said quietly, slipping through the
door, blinking a little in the darkness inside the hotel room.
He paced his steps slowly until he got to the bathroom, closing
the door after himself and then sitting on the floor just
beneath the door handle. He stared off into nothingness, his
brow furrowed in confusion as he considered the strange changes
that had been coming over Dr. Hal Ramsey right before his eyes.
What was he trying to do? Why wasn't Yukito able to just roll
with it like it was nothing? It only added to the confusion he
felt at discovered the article, the one that revealed Hal's lie.
Was there more to the story that he didn't know?
What did it all mean?
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