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#Post#: 308--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: MissM Date: April 17, 2013, 12:25 pm
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Zinnia Natter
"Then.... then I left. I snapped. Went into a rage. My
'Enhancement' went crazy--It worked much better than the doctors
had thought, and I managed to get one who I knew had worked on
my mother, both the ones who had worked on my father. I tried
for Dr. Schvartzkint--he worked on my sister. I didn't get him,
because he had ducked for cover at the start, and was long gone.
I saw another doctor coming down the hall, and shot at him, but
one of the aides had recovered from the shock of me getting
violent and tried to stop me, jarring my aim and making me miss.
I turned and ran at that point, not knowing which way was out
but knowing if I kept moving I would find it. After the first
few halls that were full of screams and terror, everything was
eerily silent. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew if I
stopped moving I would die. So I found the exit and ran. Dr.
Svenson had been coming from the other wing of.... the lab, or
whatever the hell it was... he tried to get me with a morphine
shot, but missed my veins so I got out and away from the
building before I collapsed. When I woke up.... I was in the
governments care."
“Government care?” Yukito asked, clearly surprised.
"Yeah." Here she should probably choose her words a bit more
carefully. Talking trash about government, while everybody did
it, was generally frowned on, no matter how awful they'd been.
"They apparently got an anonymous tip that there was a body by
the building the lab had been in, which turned out to be me.
They discovered I was alive when the Medical Examiner tested for
a pulse and found one. They rushed me to the hospital and gave
me first aid. I had a panic attack when I woke up, but it wasn't
the lab, so I did eventually calm down.
"They treated me more like I was human, even launched an
'investigation' to try and find who was responsible, but someone
told me they'd come to a dead end. The lab had been cleared out
in mere hours, or it never was one to begin with...I don't know.
But they never found anything that I didn't already know. All
they could really tell me was that my family was actually dead
and that since I was the only kin left of my immediate family I
inherited everything. I had to identify my parents' and sister's
body though." She sighed. "And they finally let me start seeing
a psychiatrist, who told them I needed to get out of the country
for a while. I sold the house and most everything in it--I
didn't want it anymore, they were just painful reminders of what
I had lost."
"I was taken to France on the first military plane out I could,
and I fled the embassy I stayed at, after two nights. That was
the last I saw of America, and I have no wish to return."
Although if she could get the chance to get rid of one more of
the doctors who were there, she wouldn't have as many
reservations about going 'home'. "America isn't my home
anymore."
He examined the spinning merry-go-round for a couple spins, and
then jumped on in between two of the posts, and settled a few
spaces away, saying nothing for a few turns.
“You've been through a lot...high school seems really petty and
meaningless right now.” He paused. “No wonder you hate your
Enhancement.”
"High school... Well, I never got much of an education, so while
it certainly seems tame relative to the rest of my past, I
wouldn't say its meaningless. At least it gives me something to
do with my spare time." She laughed shortly. Spare time, yeah
right.
The metal parts of Yukito's Enhancement clanged against the
metal of the merry-go-round as he laid back, thinking. “What are
you going to do now?” he asked.
"Other than try to be normal, and not flunk out of high school,
I'm..." She paused, choosing her words carefully. I know at
least one of the doctors worked with Hal, and if he finds out
I'm trying to kill them he might think he's next and shut down
everything, and then destroy me and all my friends... "I'm
trying to find the doctors who worked on my arm, to see if they
can make my enhancement less dangerous by removing the weapon in
my forearm." And clang shut the doors of her flood of
information.
"But that's not really a priority... getting my education at
least up to speed...well, that'd be nice." She drew her legs up
to her chin and leaned against the central pole of the
merry-go-round. "And finding something I like to do in life
besides be a scared-y cat would be nice." She coughed, something
in her throat catching. "Gah. I need some water... We should
probably get going, it's starting to get late..."
Hopping off the merry-go-round, she tried to walk straight. But
the world kept trying to spin and she tipped to first one side
then the other as she tried to walk in a straight line.
"Woah..."
#Post#: 313--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: Mascii Date: April 17, 2013, 3:15 pm
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Yukito Maki
He was always surprised at the difference in people from his
initial impression of them. At first, he would have sworn that
Zinnia was a very quiet sort, the type to say little and to be
very straight and to the point. However, from a mere off-hand
comment, they had spent almost an extra half hour getting home,
and he had heard about more than a little of her life's story.
Forced Enhancements, manipulation, murders, escaped
experiments... It sounded almost too similar to one of Reese's
Sci-Fi dramas to be real. Unsure what his reply should be,
Yukito clambered onto the merry-go-round, saying nothing for
awhile. The world spun around them at a slower pace now, but he
still felt the rush of the breeze as it made his eyes start to
water a little.
“You've been through a lot...high school seems really petty and
meaningless right now.” He paused. “No wonder you hate your
Enhancement.”
"High school... Well, I never got much of an education, so while
it certainly seems tame relative to the rest of my past, I
wouldn't say its meaningless. At least it gives me something to
do with my spare time." She laughed, and he detected a hint of
bitterness in her voice. Real or imagined, he wasn't sure.
Yukito fell back against the flat of the merry-go-round, his
Enhancement noisily clanging, and making wince inwardly.
“What are you going to do now?” he asked.
"Other than try to be normal, and not flunk out of high school,
I'm..." She paused, "I'm trying to find the doctors who worked
on my arm, to see if they can make my enhancement less dangerous
by removing the weapon in my forearm."
He craned his head over to look at her, his expression one of
understanding. Well, that makes sense. I would too, if I had an
Enhancement like that..
"But that's not really a priority... getting my education at
least up to speed...well, that'd be nice." She curled up into
herself, her knees to her chin and using one of the bars as a
support. For just a moment, she really looked like a little
girl, lost on the playground at night, waiting for her parents
to come and find her. "And finding something I like to do in
life besides be a scared-y cat would be nice." She coughed,
probably from all the talking she'd been doing that night. "Gah.
I need some water... We should probably get going, it's starting
to get late..."
He sat up, but she had already hopped off the merry-go-round,
and the question nagging at the back of his mind went unspoken.
Nodding, Yukito followed suit, slipping off the edge of it and
landing softly in the sand. The world continued to spin around
them like mad, and he saw Zinnia in his peripheral, starting to
wobble. "Woah..."
Yukito hesitated, smiling a little as he reached out and took a
hold on her left arm to steady her in case she fell. "Careful,"
he warned, "If you're too dizzy, just stand still for a moment."
He was used to the vertigo by now, and after a moment he walked
casually forward, still keeping a cautious hold on her arm as he
led her back to the street. "The merry-go-round was always my
favorite, I think."
#Post#: 315--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: MissM Date: April 17, 2013, 8:17 pm
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Zinnia Natter
“What are you going to do now?” he asked.
"Other than try to be normal, and not flunk out of high school,
I'm..." She paused, "I'm trying to find the doctors who worked
on my arm, to see if they can make my enhancement less dangerous
by removing the weapon in my forearm."
He twisted his head around to look at her, empathy written all
over his face.
"But that's not really a priority... getting my education at
least up to speed...well, that'd be nice." She curled up into
herself, her knees to her chin and using one of the bars as a
support. "And finding something I like to do in life besides be
a scared-y cat would be nice." She coughed, probably from
talking so much and her emotions trying to run out of control.
"Gah. I need some water... We should probably get going, it's
starting to get late..."
She hopped off the merry-go-round and tried to walk back towards
the street, but the world didn't stop spinning and she tipped
first to one side, and then the other, as she tried to move
forwards. "Woah..."
A few moments later, Yukito had gently taken hold of her left
arm. "Careful," he warned, "If you're too dizzy, just stand
still for a moment." She stood still, watching the world settle
around her more. But Yukito didn't let go, for which she was
grateful. After a couple moments he started to lead her back to
the street, keeping his hold on her arm. "The merry-go-round was
always my favorite, I think."
"It's not so bad... Although the world doesn't want to stop
spinning..." She was still a little bit unbalanced. "I've never
been dizzy before... man this is weird..." Finally, the world
seemed to settle down, and her steps grew more confident and she
felt less nauseous. "I think I'll stick to swings for now."
Suddenly a huge yawn cracked her jaw, and she stopped moving
suddenly. "Ow."
#Post#: 324--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: Mascii Date: April 19, 2013, 12:40 am
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Yukito Maki
She wobbled precariously once they got off the merry-go-round,
and Yukito's world, too, spun at a velocity that made walking
difficult. He reached out and took hold of her arm. "Careful,"
he warned, "If you're too dizzy, just stand still for a moment."
She stood still for a moment, and he continued to keep a steady
hold on her as they wandered back to the sidewalk. "The
merry-go-round was always my favorite, I think."
"It's not so bad... Although the world doesn't want to stop
spinning..." She was still a little bit unbalanced, he could
feel it in the way she swayed beneath his grip. "I've never been
dizzy before... man this is weird...I think I'll stick to swings
for now."
He started to laugh at that, his smile upturned to the
streetlamps. "Well, swings are--" Then caught his breath as an
unseen object in the darkness tripped him. Yukito faltered,
nearly dragging Zinnia down with him as he stumbled back into
balance. "Sorry..." His face grew hot with embarrassment, and he
looked down, his hair falling in front of his eyes and shielding
his expression, while under the pretense of looking for the
foreign object. "くそ..what was that..." He didn't
take hold of her arm again, instead crossing both of them over
his chest. "That's why I don't dance, I guess.." he said, a tone
of irritability to his voice, mostly at his own stupidity. They
continued down the street for a few minutes, but the heat
refused to leave Yukito's face. It wasn't that he was trying to
be particularly impressive..he just wanted to act more
confidently, like Clarence and Reese did. If anyone were to ask
him straight-out, he would have to admit that he admired them
both very much. They didn't beat around the bush and avoid eye
contact all the time, the way he did. But what was he supposed
to do? It was in his nature to be quieter, to listen while
others spoke, and to not add very much himself. And to be made a
fool of was one of the few ways he ever seemed to get any
interactions with his classmates. It was something he wished to
change, but didn't dare hope for.
"Which house is yours?" he asked, looking down the street, "We
can't be too far off now, right?"
#Post#: 325--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: MissM Date: April 19, 2013, 12:47 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Zinnia Natter
"Well, swings are--" Then caught his breath as an unseen object
in the darkness tripped him. If Zinnia didn't have faster
reflexes, she may have gone down with him. As it was, she still
needed a moment to maintain her balance. She wasn't dizzy
anymore, either, for which she was grateful.
"Sorry..." His face reddened, and he looked down, his hair
falling in front of his eyes and shielding his expression.
"くそ..what was that..." He mumbled something in
what she hoped was Japanese, searching fruitlessly for what had
tripped him up. After he got back up, he didn't take her elbow
up again, instead crossing both of his arms across his chest,
looking dejected and still red-faced. She still didn't know what
to say.
"That's why I don't dance, I guess.." he said, a tone of
irritability to his voice
"Hey, it was probably a root or something. Others trip over them
all the time in broad daylight. I wouldn't worry about it,
Yukito. It could happen to anyone." She found her voice, and
hoped that the message got through to him. The poor thing was so
introverted, the littlest screw up in front of others seemed
like a huge deal. And she knew from his question earlier in the
evening, before dinner, that he was trying to come out of his
shell.
It must be really hard for him, she thought, especially with Hal
being his father...
They continued down the street for a few minutes, but Yukito
remained lost in his own head for a little bit. She let him be,
knowing how mortifying it was to mess up in front of people when
you're usually the one who doesn't do anything in front of a
class or group of people.
"Which house is yours?" he finally asked, looking down the
street. "We can't be too far off now, right?"
"No, we're not too far. Two blocks down and one over. It's not
exactly the prettiest place... but it was cheap and I needed to
stay close to the school, you know?" Zinnia looked down, heat
rising to her own face. She hadn't touched the outer walls of
her 'house'--if you could call it that. It was a tiny,
two-bedroom one-bathroom space, with a 4-burner stove and a sink
for a kitchen. She'd had to get a microwave and a smallish
fridge and hope that she wouldn't short out the power circuits.
She'd also had to scrub the walls the first week she was there,
and find wall-paper for it, to cover the blotches of dry-wall
and other dents.
The outside had been impossible, though. Even though it was
brick, some of them were missing and others were badly damaged
or loose. The porch was entirely hopeless, and she'd had to fix
the entry-way area so she could get in and out of the house
without having to worry about stepping on the wrong board and
hurting herself when her leg went through it. That was all she
had gotten around to doing, though, so the rest of it looked
pretty run down. The window in the 'kitchen' had also needed
boarding over.
She sighed. They were almost there, and she hadn't even asked
him what his family name was... Or how he'd met Hal, or anything
of importance. And now she didn't know if she could, especially
since he still looked as though you could fry an egg on his
face. But she tried anyway, starting with a simple enough
question.
"How long has Hal been working on your enhancement?"
#Post#: 328--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: Mascii Date: April 20, 2013, 2:39 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Yukito Maki
Silence enveloped them in a slow embrace. Yukito's face still
throbbed from the heat of embarrassment, and he imagined that
Zinnia was now kept in an awkwardness that didn't allow her to
feel comfortable enough to speak. The remembrance of how odd he
made other feel only served to make him feel even more distanced
and embarrassed. It was times like these that he thought he
ought to just stay at home in his hole of a room, playing stupid
games on the internet and making no attempts at a social life.
He tried to come out of his shell more, and felt it just
appeared like he was seeking attention deliberately. He knew how
bi-polar he seemed to others, he knew his accent was too thick
at times, and he knew that he seemed unapproachable. That was
why everyone talked about him in rumors around the school, that
was why he got so many nameless messages, that was why people
usually didn't come up and talk to him just casually.
Because he was Yukito Ramsey. The odd adopted son of Dr. Ramsey.
The odd boy whose Enhancement still didn't work. The odd,
awkward, silence, unsure one.
It was hard to erase a reputation. Especially when you were too
terrified of others to stand up on your own two feet.
"Which house is yours?" he finally asked, looking down the
street. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Zinnia any
longer. He was interested in her story, and in the way she had
seemed to suddenly blossom into a talkative, open person
tonight. But he wanted to spare her the awkward silence. He
would at least try until he managed to get her home. He could do
that much, before retreating back to the Ramsey household like a
gopher deciding that spring was just not going to happen. "We
can't be too far off now, right?"
"No, we're not too far. Two blocks down and one over. It's not
exactly the prettiest place... but it was cheap and I needed to
stay close to the school, you know?" Zinnia looked down,
obviously uncomfortable now to chat with him, the ease of the
chat before dinner about Maechan and novels lost to them.
Forever, perhaps.
"Makes sense.." he mumbled in reply. Yukito played with the keys
in his pocket, listening to her sigh. He wanted to apologize for
altering the mood so suddenly, but it would just make things
worse. Instead, he wondered vaguely what kind of a house Zinnia
lived in. She seemed a no-nonsense sort, so he imagined she
didn't spend much time of frivolities. No tacky lawn ornaments
or cheesy 'Home is where the heart is' type pictures hanging up
on the walls. She probably didn't care much about closet space
or having a big kitchen, either. Although she had mentioned
something about French food earlier, which made him a little
curious, but not enough to bring it up. There were two things
Yukito would certainly never understand in the world - the
French, and cooking. Tried as he might during his first year at
the private school he had attended before the Academy was
opened, Yukito could never get the hang of French grammar,
spelling, or pronunciation. It was like trying to pound a nail
into a board using a marshmallow. Ridiculous, and futile. The
most that had come out of it was that some of his fellow
students had actually remembered his name, seeing as how he
always had the most hilarious attempts.
"How long has Hal been working on your Enhancement?" Zinnia
asked, pulling Yukito out of his thoughts as if he had been
dropped into a well and had finally found the surface again.
He looked up at her, automatically letting out a little, "Eh?"
sound of surprise. Yukito considered for a moment, then running
a hand through his hair, he mumbled, "I was about eleven, too."
Yukito didn't say anything immediately after that. He was
tempted to just let them fall into silence, and he really didn't
want to talk about the early days of his Enhancement much.
But...Zinnia had laid out her life's story to him, spoke about
the murder of her family...surely he had to reciprocate, even
just a little. So he tried to think about his words carefully.
"I was waiting at a cafe for my mom to get off work. I was
reading something, though I don't remember what. I went out on
the curb to wait for her, when a car swerved off the road and
hit me. I didn't see it coming, because I was looking down at my
phone. Because of the crash, I suffered a brain aneurysm, as
well as irreplaceable spinal damage. Hal saved my life, but by
the time I was aware enough to understand what was going on, my
mother was dead. I never knew my dad. He was apparently
full-blood Japanese, and I was raised there for a lot of my
childhood, but I don't remember a lot of that. By the time I was
aware enough, both of my parents were dead."
He took a few more quiet steps, taking his time with the tale.
He didn't mention to Zinnia the details he was unsure about. Hal
had told him that he was Yukito's uncle, that Yukito's mother
had been his sister, and that she had died while working in the
hospital when a random shooter had entered and killed almost
half a dozen people. He didn't mention how his memories of his
mother didn't match up with Hal's story.
How could you tell that to someone who barely knew you? How
could you tell if they would actually want to know, or if they
were just trying to fill the silence?
"When I first woke up in the hospital, I heard the doctors
talking. I knew what they were saying, even if my head hurt like
hell and I couldn't see straight. But when I opened my mouth to
speak to them, my head understood English, but my lips could
only form Japanese. No on there could understand me. The brain
aneurysm had torn apart the part of my brain that formed English
words." Another long pause, and Yukito's voice sounded
different, softened, "It was one of the worst feelings in the
world, being in a strange place and being completely unable to
communicate. I started to lash out. I stole things, I refused to
eat, I locked myself in the bathroom and tore my IV out, nearly
killing myself numerous times. "
As they continued to walk, Yukito's voice grew more and more
emotive, his words coming slow, but each word carefully selected
from the chasms of his mind. He didn't look toward Zinnia, and
he scarcely remembered that she was there, the closer the words
came to his heart. “Hal warned me that if I didn't comply, he
would have to tie me to the bed. The idea of taking away the
little freedom I had with my body terrified me, so I actually
tried to kill Hal. I was delirious, weak, and starved, and Hal
easily sedated me. When I woke up, I was bound. Wrists, ankles,
chest, neck.” Incredulously, he held up both his wrists, his
skin glowing blue in the moonlight. “That was the first time I
actually cried, I think.”
Yukito felt that he had gone too far, had made the uncomfortable
air between them only increased in complexity and depth, and he
gave a shrug, as though it was all just one bad, distant memory.
"Well, there you go. Yukito is actually as crazy as you assumed,
I guess. I'm not like you, Zinnia, I'm much too selfish. Unlike
you, I don't have much of a family to fight for, or to live for.
I've only been looking out for myself since the start, so that's
all I know how to do, I guess." His expression fell from the
feigned sarcasm, and he kicked his shoe absentmindedly at a
little pebble on the sidewalk, watching it's shadowy progress a
few feet in front of them, "That's why I think you're stronger
than me."
#Post#: 339--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: MissM Date: April 22, 2013, 11:16 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Zinnia Natter
"Which house is yours?" he finally asked, looking down the
street. "We can't be too far off now, right?"
"No, we're not too far. Two blocks down and one over. It's not
exactly the prettiest place... but it was cheap and I needed to
stay close to the school, you know?" Zinnia looked down,
remembering how ugly it was on the outside, and how much of a
dump it had been on the inside. She sighed, wishing she'd been
able to get the apartment, but she had to be frugal with her
money.
"Makes sense.." he mumbled in reply, fidgeting with the keys in
his pocket, probably anxious to get home now.
"How long has Hal been working on your Enhancement?" Zinnia
asked suddenly, wanting to rid the street of the silence that
had settled, oppressively.
He looked up at her, letting out a little, "Eh?" sound,
surprised. "I was about eleven, too," he continued after a
second, but then paused again. She let the silence continue,
knowing that he took a little longer to gather his thoughts. She
knew he wouldn't be able to tell her as much, but that was
Yukito. What he did tell her, she would keep to her grave unless
he gave her permission to share.
"I was waiting at a cafe for my mom to get off work. I was
reading something, though I don't remember what. I went out on
the curb to wait for her, when a car swerved off the road and
hit me. I didn't see it coming, because I was looking down at my
phone. Because of the crash, I suffered a brain aneurysm, as
well as irreplaceable spinal damage. Hal saved my life, but by
the time I was aware enough to understand what was going on, my
mother was dead. I never knew my dad. He was apparently
full-blood Japanese, and I was raised there for a lot of my
childhood, but I don't remember a lot of that. By the time I was
aware enough, both of my parents were dead."
That stank, to Zinnia. If Hal had saved his life, that would
explain why Yukito felt indebted to him, but not how Hal had
adopted him--she assumed that is what Hal had done, if Yukito
and everyone else kept referring to him as his 'father'. Unless
Hal had orchestrated the deaths of Yukito's mother to gain
control over his 'experiment'. Or maybe it was just coincidence.
But Zinnia had a hard time believing that, mostly because it was
Hal, and having done extensive research on Hal's past, there was
nothing that she could find that linked him to Yukito before
that accident. Not even remotely.
He took a few more quiet steps, taking his time with the tale.
She listened to his next words intently. Maybe they would
explain everything.
"When I first woke up in the hospital, I heard the doctors
talking. I knew what they were saying, even if my head hurt like
hell and I couldn't see straight. But when I opened my mouth to
speak to them, my head understood English, but my lips could
only form Japanese. No on there could understand me. The brain
aneurysm had torn apart the part of my brain that formed English
words." After another short pause, he kept going. "It was one of
the worst feelings in the world, being in a strange place and
being completely unable to communicate. I started to lash out. I
stole things, I refused to eat, I locked myself in the bathroom
and tore my IV out, nearly killing myself numerous times. "
Zinnia flinched. She'd considered doing that herself, after
she'd left the lab, but couldn't do it. Revenge had been what
she had aimed at, then. To keep the depression at bay. Thus far,
it had worked.
“Hal warned me that if I didn't comply, he would have to tie me
to the bed. The idea of taking away the little freedom I had
with my body terrified me, so I actually tried to kill Hal. I
was delirious, weak, and starved, and Hal easily sedated me.
When I woke up, I was bound. Wrists, ankles, chest, neck.” He
held up both his wrists, his skin glowing blue in the moonlight.
“That was the first time I actually cried, I think.”
Zinnia couldn't speak for a little bit, astounded with the
clarity and detail of his recollections. And, also, the horror.
After a second, Yukito gave a shrug, as though it was all just
one bad, distant memory. "Well, there you go. Yukito is actually
as crazy as you assumed, I guess. I'm not like you, Zinnia, I'm
much too selfish. Unlike you, I don't have much of a family to
fight for, or to live for. I've only been looking out for myself
since the start, so that's all I know how to do, I guess." His
expression fell, and he kicked his shoe absentmindedly at a
little pebble on the sidewalk, watching it as it rolled a few
feet away. "That's why I think you're stronger than me."
"Self-preservation isn't selfishnes, Yukito." She finally
managed to speak up. "If anything, you shouldn't berate yourself
for your actions in the past, especially that part. If you
really were all alone... Well, that's basically the same as what
I did. I just had the benefit of having a weapon that they had
given me." She paused, debating, then added, quietly, "They'd
already taken away everything that mattered to me." She
swallowed thickly, holding back the raw emotion that was
starting to overflow. "So, how about we say we're equals in
strength?"
She stuck out her right hand, shimmying off the glove as she did
so. She wouldn't be insulted if Yukito didn't shake, but at the
very least, he had to agree, just nod his head. She wouldn't let
him leave until he did.
"And perk up. People are far more willing to forgive the past
than you seem to think." As she said it, she was struck by how
much it also applied to her past. Although... she still had to
get her last skeleton in the closet before she could think of it
as her past.
#Post#: 352--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: Mascii Date: April 25, 2013, 1:04 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Yukito Ramsey
After a second, Yukito gave a shrug, trying to brush off the
memories the way he brushed off people's comments. Ignorant
comments, he knew. But they still hurt, all the same. 'He looks
like he's judging people all the time. Like he's too good to
talk to us'. 'He's too quiet.' 'He's just seeking attention.'
'He should just get over whatever it is.' "Well, there you go.
Yukito is actually as crazy as you assumed, I guess. I'm not
like you, Zinnia, I'm much too selfish. Unlike you, I don't have
much of a family to fight for, or to live for. I've only been
looking out for myself since the start, so that's all I know how
to do, I guess." His expression fell, and he kicked his shoe
absentmindedly at a little pebble on the sidewalk, watching it
as it rolled a few feet away. "That's why I think you're
stronger than me."
"Self-preservation isn't selfishness, Yukito." Zinnia cut in,
"If anything, you shouldn't berate yourself for your actions in
the past, especially that part. If you really were all alone...
Well, that's basically the same as what I did. I just had the
benefit of having a weapon that they had given me." She paused,
debating, then added, quietly, "They'd already taken away
everything that mattered to me." For a moment, both of them fell
into a silence that was so different from the one before,
somehow. "So, how about we say we're equals in strength?"
She turned to him, taking off her glove and revealing her
Enhancement – her right arm was mostly mechanical, and she held
out the hand to Yukito, offering it to him to take. Yukito
stared at her hand, considering. In many ways, he felt, he and
Zinnia were similar. They were both searching desperately for
someone who would understand, weren't they? Both of them had
unfinished business, neither of them able to move forward until
they had dealt with what had been done years before, when life
was beyond their control. He had to admit, he couldn't see many
ways they could have acted differently. The adults in their
lives should have taken responsibility for the children they had
affected. For the lives they had altered. Yukito reached up and
took her hand, his face solemn as though he had just made a
sacred vow. Her mechanical hand felt surprisingly warm in his
hand, and stiff to the touch.
"And perk up. People are far more willing to forgive the past
than you seem to think."
He let his hand slowly drop from hers, looking down at the
ground and hooking his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans.
“But Zinnia,” he breathed her name slowly, trying to keep his
voice under control. “What if it turns out that I'm the one who
won't forgive the past?” After a moment, he shook his head, as
if to shake away his thoughts entirely. "Never mind, let's get
you back home." You spoke too much again, Yukito. This always
happens, and you always regret it. Look what happened with Erin.
Everything has quickly become complicated, and she's already
seen the papers about your real mother. And she can't go back,
now. He continued down the sidewalk, not willing to wait any
longer. He just needed to go home.
#Post#: 354--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: MissM Date: April 25, 2013, 11:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
"Self-preservation isn't selfishness, Yukito." Zinnia cut in,
"If anything, you shouldn't berate yourself for your actions in
the past, especially that part. If you really were all alone...
Well, that's basically the same as what I did. I just had the
benefit of having a weapon that they had given me." She paused,
debating, then added, quietly, "They'd already taken away
everything that mattered to me." For a moment, both of them fell
into silence. "So, how about we say we're equals in strength?"
She turned to him, taking off her glove, and offering it as best
she could. She knew that it might take a few minutes, so she
just waited. He seemed to be deliberating, but about what she
didn't know. All she knew is that they shared an equally
terrible past, in which they had not had any control over even
their own fates.
Finally he took her hand, resolutely but still somewhat soft at
the same time. She knew it probably didn't quite feel right to
him-- it was a platic and metal arm after all-- but it was a
handshake none the less. A small smile spread across her face.
"And perk up. People are far more willing to forgive the past
than you seem to think."
He let his hand slowly drop from hers, looking down at the
ground and hooking his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans.
“But Zinnia,” he breathed, “What if it turns out that I'm the
one who won't forgive the past?”
Zinnia looked up at him sharply. So he didn't tell me
everything... she thought. But does that really change anything?
She opened her mouth to say something, and nothing came out. She
was trying to think of words she could say, to let him know that
it was ok.
After a moment, he shook his head, as if to shake away his
thoughts entirely. "Never mind, let's get you back home."
"No, Yukito, please listen..." She was trying to assemble her
thoughts into a coherent order, but it wasn't working. "People
make mistakes. And if you have regrets... that's normal. It
means you still care about how you live your life now. But if
you hold onto your... self-hate, I guess, or regret, or whatever
it is, for something you did in the past, it will drag you down
and make everything in the here and now worse. If it's something
that someone did to you in the past... well," and here, she
glanced away, knowing her tone might betray her if he could also
see the anger rise in her eyes, "you can forgive them or get
revenge for it." She paused for a second, swallowing her anger.
"But you can't, or rather, shouldn't, hold onto it forever."
They were rounding the last corner before her house now. She
tried to slow down, wanting to be sure he understood her. "And,
if you were serious about your question earlier today, before
Chevy and Phoenix and all off them showed up, 'If someone wants
to really change how they've been before, what do you think is a
good way to go about changing themselves?' My advice would be
to let the past be the past. Some things will always effect you,
yes. But they shouldn't rule you."
My past is slowly losing its control over me as it is, although
not entirely yet... Although she wasn't sure if she would ever
find Dr. Svenson. He seemed to not exist anymore.
"And of course it will take time. But if you're serious about
wanting to change... you have to let go of the past. Especially
if it is because of the past that you want to change."
She felt a single tear fall down her cheek, but paid it no
attention. He was so much better off than her, because he could
take her advice. She couldn't. It was because of the past that
she was here in the first place... Hunting down those who had
ruined her life and taken her family from her. But she knew that
after the hunt was over, she'd at least be free of her past. If
she had to live as a fugitive to do that, so be it. But she
would get revenge.
The reminder of her resolution dried her eye, and she glanced
back at Yukito, hoping he had understood what she was attempting
to say.
#Post#: 394--------------------------------------------------
Re: Street Side
By: Mascii Date: April 28, 2013, 10:23 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Yukito Maki
He had done it yet again. He had gone and said too much. She had
rambled to him for so long, and yet in a few seconds he had
overstepped the colorless boundaries. Yukito could tell from the
sharp, surprised look she gave him that she hadn't expected him
to say that, and he hadn't wanted her to. He shook his head,
wishing to rid himself of the multitude of mistakes he
continually blundered his way through. "Never mind, let's get
you back home."
"No, Yukito, please listen..." He listened, but he was sure
there was nothing she could say that would make it okay. There
was no 'I understand you' that would wipe away the differences
between them. There was a fear in himself that he didn't see in
Zinnia. Maybe I'm not supposed to get close to you, or anyone.
What about then, Zinnia? What if I'm deliberately sabotaging
myself because I know what I have to do? "People make mistakes.
And if you have regrets... that's normal. It means you still
care about how you live your life now. But if you hold onto
your... self-hate, I guess, or regret, or whatever it is, for
something you did in the past, it will drag you down and make
everything in the here and now worse. If it's something that
someone did to you in the past... well," she looked away."You
can forgive them or get revenge for it. But you can't, or
rather, shouldn't, hold onto it forever."
They continued walking, but slower now. He allowed her words to
sink in, but they still didn't touch his heart. She still didn't
get it. He depended on the person who had stolen his life away.
He was attached, immovably, from the person who had given him
everything. The person who had taken away everything. What if he
couldn't forgive? What if there was no other way but to cut
himself off and away entirely? It had been a thought that
brooded through his mind constantly in the last few weeks. And
he knew Hal Ramsey better than anyone. He knew it wouldn't be a
clean cut. It would be a nasty, jagged, bloody one. But he said
nothing to Zinnia. He didn't think she could understand the
complexity of knowing that your captor actually cared about you.
She hated her captors, she had done everything she could to
escape them, and had good reason to hate. Good reason to be the
better person and forgive. But him..he was stuck in the middle,
in a limbo of emotions that just hurt him whichever direction he
tried to turn.
What do you do if you knew your captor cared about you like a
father to a son?
"And, if you were serious about your question earlier today,
before Chevy and Phoenix and all off them showed up, 'If someone
wants to really change how they've been before, what do you
think is a good way to go about changing themselves?' My advice
would be to let the past be the past. Some things will always
effect you, yes. But they shouldn't rule you." He smiled a
little at that. He had been talking about himself, then, not Dr.
Ramsey. A little glimmer of hope liked to swell up in his heart,
especially in those moments when he looked around and found that
he was surrounded by laughter and friendship, even if he felt
removed from it in a sense. Just..being there and watching
them...it sent hope through his chest like a lighting bolt. "And
of course it will take time. But if you're serious about wanting
to change... you have to let go of the past. Especially if it is
because of the past that you want to change."
He walked her up to her front door, sending her a sad little
smile. "I understand what you're trying to say, Zinnia.
And..thank you." Even if I don't know if it applies to me, I'll
remember your words, and I'll remember your courage. You're more
like Erin than like me, I think. You've got resolve, and
strength. And a chance at freedom. So follow it.
Yukito then did something he rarely did. He reached out and
touched her arm, holding it in his hand and squeezing her for
reassurance. Offering her a little smile, he bowed his head a
little and said, "Well, goodnight," and wandered back toward his
street without looking back. He walked toward his home, happy
for the sudden silence, but sad for the loneliness that started
to wash over him like a cold wave of water to his soul. There
wasn't going to be someone to walk him home. The home he
returned to would be quieter than a graveyard itself. He knew -
he had spent the night in both.
Perhaps it was better to let go of the past, as Zinnia said.
But perhaps he was incapable of doing so.
Yukito has left the Street Side
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