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#Post#: 143--------------------------------------------------
Thomas "Phoenix" Hutchinson's Journal
By: morethanmusic Date: April 1, 2013, 12:25 am
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Phoenix's journal is in a black moleskine notebook that his
parents bought for him when he was 12, after starting therapy
following up his Enhancement and extensive plastic surgery. It
has a few entries from when he was first given it, detailing
about the first week, then followed up with steadily less
frequent updates. Attached to it -- Phoenix's addition -- is a
rather glamorous pink feather pen
HTML http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-kN3WRC52_8/TSRP6yp0jqI/AAAAAAAADRc/_fVHPSjG0v8/s1600/pen+4.jpg<br
/>that he writes the entries with. He put the pen together
himself, off of an online tutorial. The ink itself is not pink
or very bright, but a medium blue. The book and pen are both in
rather good condition, seeing as they haven't seen too much use,
but the edges of the pages are bent, as the book is read more
than it is written in.
There are some tiny doodles in the corners, of eyes, noses, hair
styles and such, none of which belong to Phoenix himself, but
resemble some that he has seen during the day he wrote the
entry.
Most entries span several pages, due to Phoenix's big, strange
handwriting.
It isn't kept in a very well-hidden place, just in the only
drawer of his bedside table. He doesn't usually openly share it,
but he isn't known for being angry with anyone who happens to
find it.
#Post#: 146--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thomas "Phoenix" Hutchinson's Journal
By: morethanmusic Date: April 1, 2013, 2:53 am
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[font=trebuchet ms]ENTRY -- um, I don't know how many are in
here. Newest? Close enough.
I know I was supposed to be keeping track in this thing every
day, but I haven’t been… I guess I’ve been so distracted.
I’ve always had friends. Since I got back to the world, no one
seems to even realize that this wasn’t how I always was. I like
that though… no one really seems to know that there was ever
anything wrong. I want them to see me how I am now. How I’ll
always be.
This is getting kind of deep, but I guess that’s the point…
Today I was talking with some of my friends from school, and I
love them so much. They don’t seem to realize just how much
everything they say to me means. Even Clarence, who takes every
opportunity to try and put me down… actually, especially
Clarence, because he seems to know that I need someone to reach
out to me sometimes. I think he feels that way too, a lot. Maybe
we’re both kind of doing the same thing, but for different
reasons; we try to be so extreme, so people can see us, even if
it’s not always how we feel.
Dilara keeps coming up in my mind. I keep remembering how much
she’s a part of me now. Like, with Reese… I know it’s
ridiculous, but he strikes something in me that I know is
Dilara. Well, it’s me too, but, at the same time, it’s her. He
feels so much for everyone… he can lift people’s spirits like
nothing, and understand exactly how they’re feeling. Even on the
internet, when he can’t use his Enhancement.
But that’s not everything… today, my Enhancement was brought up.
It didn’t seem like that big of a deal at the time, but then I
stopped and looked at the pictures of me that are up here… the
pictures of me that are everywhere… I look like her now more
than I look like I used to. I know that. That was just kind of
how it turned out.
Sometimes I wonder how much of who I am, how much of how people
react to me, is based on that… the face, the hair, the eyes…
Those are hers.
And mine. But they came from her.
I don’t even know if I’m making any sense. I just know it hit me
today, and I had to write it out. I feel better now, actually.
I’d bring it up, but it would seem so shallow, I think. Well, a
lot of things about me seem really shallow… and maybe they are.
I’ll admit that. But this is different.
There’s just a lot different about me now. And sometimes… I
wonder if I’m really glad that Doctor Ramsey fixed me up. Would
these people see more of me if I was the way I was? Or would
they see it less? Do they really not see me any different? I’ll
never know, of course, but I do think it sometimes.
Oh well. I just had to get that out.
Love, Phoenix <3[/font]
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