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#Post#: 136--------------------------------------------------
Erin Spenser's journal
By: GGJ5 Date: March 31, 2013, 8:01 pm
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Erin's journal is often written in a flurry of quick motions of
her hand, usually in heat of one emotion or another so it's a
bit more difficult to read. But that doesn't matter so much to
her, as the writing is the part she wants-- rarely if ever does
she go back to read old entries. The journal is in a cheap
spiral notebook, the black cover made into a collage of band
stickers Erin collects from various shows. She keeps the journal
between her mattress and boxspring, only so her parents don't
find it. The thought of anyone else finding it seems too
foreign.
#Post#: 137--------------------------------------------------
Re: Erin Spenser's journal
By: GGJ5 Date: March 31, 2013, 8:02 pm
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Entry 1--
all the dumb, goofy, sweet pickup lines and crap make me think
the dumb ones made me laugh
the sweet ones made me feel awesome and special
i wonder if mine made him feel special
i wonder if he ever feels special
in a good way
not in an enhancement way
in a “i am special TO someone” way. thats way different.
you should feel special. you deserve it <3
#Post#: 141--------------------------------------------------
Re: Erin Spenser's journal
By: GGJ5 Date: March 31, 2013, 9:26 pm
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Erin’s journal — Entry 2
[list]
[li]i dont want to be jealous of someone i love
i really dont
but i am ):
i wish i could draw like natalie
i want to do fun things with my hair but SOME PEOPLE are being
tightwads about it
i dont want to go back to school tomorrow ): ): ):
i want to stay up and play music
i just found an awwwwsome new artist to listen to and im kind
ain love
it makes me wanna sing and play on my keyboard and
rgiuheriughiureh WHY CANT I DO THIS ALL THE TIME INSTEAD OF
SCHOOL OK
daniel needs a tumblr
he seems adorkable
dangit i wanna be adorkable to someone
ok well i know i am to people but not to the one that matters
>.<
i want to go on a date with him okay there its out
in my stupid book but whatevr
WE COULD HAVE POPCORN
and maybe kiss what idk ><
i need to get a big bucket of m&ms and throw it at his head if
he keeps being oblivious
unless he really doesnt like me much ): what if i get on his
nerves?? erilguheirugh LAME
i want a kitty
and a puppy
ugh no really i wanna sing now so theres that
i wish my voice was enhanced too so it could like enchant people
i would only use it in certain cases
like this one[/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]
#Post#: 151--------------------------------------------------
Re: Erin Spenser's journal
By: GGJ5 Date: April 1, 2013, 9:07 pm
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Erin’s Journal —Entry 3
omg!!
i know its not a date… i KNOW that. but its kinda like one and
no one can judge me if i decide to just happen to dress really
cute and to smell super nice and to make yummy food :3
he likes pizza! aaah! i make the BESt pizza. im not making
potato chips tho bc lets face it chips are chips :P unless ur
british…. then theyre fries??
aaaah okay picking out outfit and zombie movie lineup ;D
EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL YAY:)
….ZOMBIES!
#Post#: 155--------------------------------------------------
Re: Erin Spenser's journal
By: GGJ5 Date: April 5, 2013, 5:50 pm
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Erin's entry #4
those pictures natalie took are amazing
she got to spend the ENTIRE DAY with him
and he liked it... he even let her take pics of him
vulnerably...
idk... i know nats happy with clarence. I KNOW that. but things
can change and i feel so sure they connected and i just... i
want it to have been ME there taking pictures
not that i could make pics like her but thats not the point
it shouldnt even matter to me so much but it does >.< i cant get
as excited about it as everyone else is.... he wont have as much
fun with me tomorrow or ill freak him out and make him feel
weird or bad or something then hell never want to be anything
besides a sort-of-half-friend
but why does this matter?? there are sooo many other good guys
at school and who cometo our shows and srtuff... so if he doesnt
click with me who cares?? i can just find sokmeone else easily!
but i still care
a lot
#Post#: 215--------------------------------------------------
Re: Erin Spenser's journal
By: GGJ5 Date: April 14, 2013, 2:29 am
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Entry 5
god forbid i try to let him know hes not how he thinks he is. oh
no wouldn't wanna try to be a decent person and let a perfectly
wonderful person know he doesnt suck. nooooo because when you do
that he says your yeling at him and that you should just back
off and leave him alone
and that really really hurts
sooo badly
i hate that im actualy crying over this!!!! WHY DO I CARE he
obvs doesnt
i dont know what hes talking about expectations for??! what do
my expevtations have anything to do with me trying to let him
know thre truth?! expectations arent even connected to if
somethings true or not! THIS MAKES NO SENSE
i dont even know what i did wrong exactly!! he just got mad at
me for no reason..... who gets mad when someone tells them they
ARENT an idiot?!
what am i suppose to say? "yep ur the biggest ball fo stupid if
ever seen and you should go die in a whole." is that what he
wanted??!
how did i ruin this so fastly?? how is it possible to ruin
something that doesnt technically exist??
i just want to curl up ina bal and cry until i fall asleep....
then i want to stay asleep so i dont have to do anything
tomorrow or see him and be like "well cantt talk to him since he
apparently hates me now!"
i cant..... it hurts.....
#Post#: 601--------------------------------------------------
Re: Erin Spenser's journal
By: GGJ5 Date: May 30, 2013, 10:38 am
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entry 6
in the past week its like everythings exploded. like someone
stuck us in a giant blender and turned it on just for fun and...
i honestly dont know how to feel! how can you be happy and sad
at the same time? how can you feel angry, protective, loved,
ignored, and appreicated all at the same time??
i was convinced yukito hated me.... but he doesnt? he just
thought that would make me hve less trouble??? i still dont get
it but... he apologized and promised not to do it again so... i
think were ok. not as ok as i would like but at least i know he
doesnt hate me... at least i can talk to him again.
clarence and syd are jumping at each other now over some stupid
anons that dont know how to chill the crap out and that makes me
really sad... bc clarence is relly really hard to win an
argument with o,o and syd doesnt wanna hurt anyone so she just
backs down and is like 'ok you win' and it isnt even about
winning... its about this huge misunderstanding and everyone is
dragging out things they secretly resent about each other and
its just a huge stupid mess
and idk why reese is purposely trying to egg yukito on?? i mean
that seems really bad timing to me since they just got into a
fight the other day... which btw that still freaks me out.
jessica was one thing-- a stranger who treated me like crap.
but theyre suposed to be FRIENDS.... so why are they doing that
to each other??? and now he's trying to get a reaction out of
him by brining up the whole thing yukito doesnt wnna talk about
and then add am embarrassing picture? idk.... i dont get it. hes
one of the nicest people i know so why is he doing this stuf?
and chevy... im worried about chevy... i mean im soo thankful
that nix is being so good to him and taking care of him and all.
but he shouldnt be even feeling the way he does... but then... i
guess he feels really bad about the whole thng yukito doesnt
want to tlk abt.... i mean.... you arent really yourself when
your drunk and you do stuff without thinking soo?? its not like
anyhting was on purpose but still.... he still seems to feel
super torn up about it.... idk. i am getting this vibe that
theres a lot more to chevys feelings then he wil say. especially
bc clarence kept saying he called it o,o it didnt occur to me at
first but i thought abut it a lot after annd... what if clarence
is saying he called it that chevy likes yukito and thats why he
was so willing to kiss hijm???
poor yukito..... if he couldnt even take a hug i cant imagine
how he felt when he realized..... and chevy even has no idea...
and theyve scared off amane. idk what to think about her. i get
a weird vibe from her too. i guess bc she seems like such a
teeny bopper. like she probs has posters of one direction all
over her room or something.... shed probs start crying if i
played avenge sevenfold around her o.o and she seriously seems
so awkward... like she constantly gets all gigglly around the
guys?? idk. whatever... she seems like a nice person tho and
doesnt deserve all the scary things shes getting on tumblr. she
probs feels realyl guilty for the clarence and syd stuff too bc
shes the reason they started snapping at each other in the first
place. idk how to feel abt this... :/
and then theres corzen. he came in at the perfect time when i
was sure yukito hated me... hes very sweet.... he makes me feel
special and appreciated and i really like that. he lets me kiss
him and he kisses me back because he likes it. i dont think ive
ever really had that before... hes ok with me cuddling him while
we watch movies and he doesnt judge me for saying stupid things
like that i heard christmas angels or something so dumb like
that (i still cant believe of all the thigns i could have said
that thats what i picked omg...) but i dont want him to feel
like hes a placeholder for something. i dont want to do that to
a person... even if he says hes ok w/ that. he shouldnt have to
be.
i still feel like i barely know him.... i want to know him
tho...
theres too much going on in my head. i need a mini vacation w/
nats stat.
#Post#: 666--------------------------------------------------
Re: Erin Spenser's journal
By: GGJ5 Date: June 3, 2013, 9:44 pm
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entry 7
i have a boyfriend now! i mean... honestly it already kinda felt
like we were dating anyway??? so its not like.. a huge shock or
something lol xD nats kinda freaked out! it was like she was
waiting for the oficial announcement or something XDD i mean did
ppl really think corzen and me were just friends when we were
talking so much? and friends dont kiss and snuggle and stuff.
right? haha.. i dont think so XD
nats is obvs really excited... xD i think shes more excited than
me! no one else has much said anything.... i think clarence has
given his ok bc he scared the crap out of corzen whivch i
thiiiink is clarence language for 'you are accepted'??? haha
but whoevers messaging me on anon seems pretty iffy. idk if its
one person or more than one?? but theyre all 'isn't it too fast
to date' and 'he doesnt support your music' and stuff... but he
hasnt even gottent o see our music! im sure hell change his mind
once he sees us :3
sometimes i really really like anons like when they send me
super sweet messages... <3
sometimes i wonder why i let anons contact me. o.o
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