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#Post#: 519--------------------------------------------------
I think I've been insulted
DIR By: aventurine
Date: March 8, 2012, 1:11 am
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In the politics of my family, I'm Switzerland. For this reason
as much as any other, my mother has given me responsibility over
her estate when she passes. Everybody knows this, knows how Mom
wants things distributed, and has been fine with it until
recently. Last week, Mom updated her will (not majorly, just
minor points) and mentioned it to my sister, who lives with her.
My sister asked her, "Are you sure aventurine won't keep it all
for herself?"
... say whut now?
Now I admit I'm a self-centered hedonist, especially compared to
my siblings, but I'm honest. Nothing I've ever done in my
dealings with my sister or my mother (or anybody!) would give
her this idea about me. Mom had no idea where it came from
either, and Susan didn't or couldn't explain.
Do you think I ought to bring it up with my sister? I want to
put her mind at ease, but I also want to know what gave her the
idea that I'm planning on absconding with Mom's money. ::)
I've discussed this responsibility with her before, privately,
and she knows that I take it very seriously.
#Post#: 539--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: Swan Swan H
Date: March 8, 2012, 2:47 am
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I think it really matters how your sister said it. If she was
joking I'd let it go. But if she was being serious, I would chat
with her and ask her why she thought you'd do that.
That's a pretty serious accusation on your character and I would
be very upset too.
#Post#: 542--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: aventurine
Date: March 8, 2012, 3:24 am
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I don't think she was joking. My sister doesn't have a
discernible sense of humor here lately, and Mom would know the
difference (Mom is allergic to drama, so I know she isn't
stirring for the fun of it.)
Sigh. Mom's not the only one.
#Post#: 543--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: Swan Swan H
Date: March 8, 2012, 3:26 am
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--- Quote from: aventurine link ---
>
> I don't think she was joking. My sister doesn't have a
discernible sense of humor here lately, and Mom would know the
difference (Mom is allergic to drama, so I know she isn't
stirring for the fun of it.)
>
> Sigh. Mom's not the only one.
>
--- End Quote ---
Oh dear. Then you either need to talk to her or let it be and
demonstrate with your actions when the time comes how wrong she
was.
#Post#: 603--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: Bibliophile
Date: March 8, 2012, 9:18 am
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Is it possible that she's worried about it because it might be
something she would do in your position? People are WEIRD when
it comes to money and inheritance. It brings out the worst in
some.
#Post#: 606--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: Giggle Loop
Date: March 8, 2012, 9:23 am
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That's weird. I don't know if I'd talk to her, though; it might
just make her crazier. Maybe wait until she says something to
you?
I don't know how these things work, but if your mom lists how
she wants things distributed, you have to follow it, don't you?
I mean, I know you would, but aren't you legally bound to do so?
#Post#: 619--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: madhatter
Date: March 8, 2012, 10:02 am
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Maybe she's worried about a challenge to the will? My dad's
cousins have been in a legal battle for the last 5 years at
least over their mother's will, not because they think she was
incapacitated when she wrote it, but the one who wasn't named
executor just can't get over it. Wills and death make people do
and say odd things.
I know you're insulted, and you have every right to be, but if
you want to retain your position as Switzerland, it may be wise
to forget this unless it comes up again.
#Post#: 652--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: aventurine
Date: March 8, 2012, 12:10 pm
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--- Quote from: madhatter link ---
>
> I know you're insulted, and you have every right to be, but if
you want to retain your position as Switzerland, it may be wise
to forget this unless it comes up again.
>
--- End Quote ---
I'll probably take this advice and Giggle Loop's and just do
what I was going to do all along. Mom isn't rich by any means,
so everybody pretty much knows what she has, so it'll be pretty
clear. Her will is just a sheet of notebook paper; she's
disinclined to do anything more formal than that, but it's in
her handwriting and anybody who wants to see it is free to look.
And, of course, death/inheritance does make people nuts - we've
all seen the stories.
Thanks, I appreciate the replies. :)
#Post#: 805--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: BuddyCat
Date: March 8, 2012, 7:25 pm
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Well, I was going with what people were saying about leave it be
until you said the will isn't formalized. In that case, I would
probably just give it an easy mention to my sister to make sure
everything was okay and she wasn't expressing worries. People go
insane after a death, and no matter what the understandings were
prior to the loss, it's amazing how quickly it can get very
ugly. You don't need that.
Quick question-did you hear your sister say it or did your
mother tell you afterwards? If the latter, why would she tel you
that-to warn you or just how your relationships goes?
#Post#: 848--------------------------------------------------
Re: I think I've been insulted
DIR By: aventurine
Date: March 8, 2012, 11:30 pm
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--- Quote from: BuddyCat link ---
>
> Quick question-did you hear your sister say it or did your
mother tell you afterwards? If the latter, why would she tel you
that-to warn you or just how your relationships goes?
>
--- End Quote ---
Kind of both. My sister has some other issues going on (which I
will probably be posting about later) and Mom and I are both
kind of concerned about her. She comes up in conversation quite
a bit, and this was an outcropping of that, I think. That, and
Mom haaaaaates confrontation, so I think she saw herself as
tipping me off so I wouldn't be caught off-guard if Susan
decides to mention her reservations. Historically, Susan does
strange things when she's under stress, and it wouldn't be the
first time she's trashed her relationships over nothing. (It
wouldn't even be the first time that the relationship was with
me.)
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