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#Post#: 2405--------------------------------------------------
SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: Floofy Cat
Date: March 30, 2012, 8:58 pm
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My MIL remarried two years ago. SFIL got himself into a heap of
legal trouble. All this went down on Monday. SIL texted me today
and let me know what was going on. She also tells me she has
been on the phone with MIL every day helping her arrange for a
lawyer, what her plans are and for her to move in with me and DH
if need be. ??? This is the first I've heard of any of it, DH
was at work and has no idea what is going on so I was
flabbergasted. SIL and I only met once, recently at their GM
funeral. We got along fine and she's a great person, but She has
three little ones and is one of those "organize everything"
control types. I don't want to be mean to her, but this is too
much. I just said "I don't know if DH and MIL will get along"
She responded with "they'll be fine" Erm, no. DH and his mother
have a long history of not getting along. They do now bc they
live half a country apart and see each other maybe once a year.
nothing may happen, for all I know she will stay where she's at.
I just don't know what to say to either of them at this point.
There is no way MIL moving in with us would work. She and I get
along fine, but I am a very friendly person. She is an odd duck
and has NO filter. Ideas on how to handle this one?
#Post#: 2444--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: DanglyParts
Date: March 31, 2012, 12:36 am
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Criminy! That is super awkward. Hugs to you and your husband and
his family.
Okay, helpful advice. Maybe say nothing for now. Wait and see if
it looks like MIL actually *needs* a place to stay and can't
stay near where she is now. Have a chat to MIL and see what she
wants to do in that case.
As far as SIL is concerned, maybe tell her that you think it's
best to wait and see what's happening, rather than jump the gun
and shift her now. It could reflect poorly on MIL if she moves
right now, in a legal sense.
If SIL pushes it, I think you're in the clear to say that your
house simply isn't set up to have another occupant there.
Overnight guest, sure! Mid to long term? Not so much. Make it
clear that you're empathetic to the situation and that you'll
both help out however you can but that is isn't an option.
More hugs and a huge drink in the strength/flavour of your
choice. This is hella sucky.
#Post#: 2450--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: BuddyCat
Date: March 31, 2012, 8:09 am
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Or MIL, knowing that SIL is a control freak, is just letting her
daughter natter on without seriously considering following
through. There's too much unknown here to get too much in an
uproar just yet.
I'd have DH call his mom to see how she's doing, and give you a
better idea on what's going on in her head and if you might need
to nip some "erroneous" ideas in the bud.
#Post#: 2452--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: HeavyMetalWino
Date: March 31, 2012, 10:06 am
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Or, you or DH might have to flat out say "no". That is
incredibly nervy of someone to do! A visit is bad enough, but
she told MIL that she could LIVE with you guys??! hell no.
Talk to DH and get on the same page. Have him call SIL and tell
her that MIL cannot come live with you, but he'd be happy to
help SIL make other arrangements for her.
#Post#: 2462--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: Wallydraigle
Date: March 31, 2012, 5:24 pm
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Wow, that's crazy. I wouldn't even offer reasons. Reasons make
people think there's something to argue about. They'll just want
to fix them like they're problems to be solved. Normal people
will usually get it if you offer a reason and back down, but
normal people also don't volunteer someone else's home as a
living space. That's nuts.
#Post#: 2467--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: G-Lady
Date: April 1, 2012, 10:59 am
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Your DH needs to call his sister ASAP and tell her that she is
completely out of line. If his MIL needs a place to stay, then
you two should have been ASKED first to consider that option.
#Post#: 2470--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: EmilyThorne
Date: April 1, 2012, 5:06 pm
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I think you should cut your SIL out of the equation entirely.
Your MIL should know it wasn't SIL's place to offer, so she
might have already brushed off the suggestion. Just have your
DH call his mom (or you call her if you two get along better)
and get a read on the situation. Find out how she's doing and
offer whatever help you are willing to give her, even if it's
just taking her out for coffee next time she's in town.
#Post#: 2495--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: Mrs.E
Date: April 3, 2012, 12:07 pm
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I would call MIL to get the real story on the situation.
Hopefully she has no plans of moving in with you guys.
#Post#: 2502--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: PurpleLlama
Date: April 3, 2012, 3:44 pm
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Or turn the tables on SIL, and tell her that since she was so
willing to offer your house to MIL, you went ahead and told MIL
that she can move in with SIL and help take care of her
grandkids. When SIL tells you that you can't volunteer for her
like that, remind her that that is the same as what she just
did.
#Post#: 2529--------------------------------------------------
Re: SIL invited MIL to stay with us. Without telling me.
DIR By: mynameisdumbnuts
Date: April 5, 2012, 1:31 am
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The most I'd do at this point is call your mother-in-law (or
have your husband do it) and check in to see how she is and see
if she brings up moving in with you. This presumes your
mother-in-law is not likely to show up on your doorstep and say,
"But SIL said I could move in with you!"
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