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#Post#: 2303--------------------------------------------------
Don't Eat that! (Aka Please Don't Bring Anything)
DIR By: Nova Lady
Date: March 26, 2012, 7:46 am
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Hi All :)
I went to South Carolina this weekend, to attend the Steeple
Chase and have a few stories from it...here is the first one.
Background: The setup here is that each group that gets a spot
gets an area to set up in and watch the event. The folks we were
visiting has an area that they set up a tent in, a long table,
and set some food out. Anyone else who joined in mostly brought
a dish or some snacks and a cooler with drinks. They set out
their food and everyone helps themselves.
Well there is this one woman who came with her 2 adult aged
daughters and set her dish on the table. As soon as she walked
away the husband of the couple that owned the space came over to
us out of towners to fill us in to the situation. Basically,
apparently this woman had been told she need not bring anything,
but she always did anyhow. The reason she was asked not to bring
anything is apparently she has a filthy house and questionable
food handling practices and several people have gotten ill in
years past from eating her food. He wanted to make sure we knew
the situation before we decided to eat from her dish (which was
chicken based, so I was definitely not going near it).
The whole thing got me thinking about how you ask someone not to
bring something to an open event where anyone can bring
anything. I like the way this guy handled it...tell her she
doesn't need to bring anything and to warn new comers about the
situation if she does bring something.
I felt a little bad for this woman as she was clearly hurt that
no one was touching her dish, she kept trying to get people to
try it and no one would. But I didn't feel bad enough to
potentially get food poisoning at the event in order to make her
feel better by trying it.
Btw - I found it kind of tacky that the adult daughters did not
eat from it either...so clearly they knew not to eat her food
either...but they still let her bring it and put out for other
people to eat. If this was my mother I would talk to her and
either get to follow proper food safety practices or leave the
food behind and bring something sealed from the store or just
drinks/paper goods.
This made me think of another incident I have had with a
coworker. I have never ever seen the inside of her house, have
only heard her talk about her dislike for cleaning. Basically
she mentioned emptying the 1 litter box she has for both of her
cats only once every three weeks, and that the last time she
finally did the dishes she had 3 loads to do. Knowing this I
will never ever eat anything she cooks herself from her house. I
mostly demur about the food she brings, and make excuses, but
honestly I just want to tell her I will *never* eat anything she
makes because of her aversion to cleaning. I have expressed
surprised and disgust over the litter box situation before, as I
feel badly for her cats and known this is why they often go
outside of the box. I can't really say anything about it can I?
Really I don't care if her feelings are hurt, because I do think
if you live in a sty like a pig then your feelings really aren't
a big issue to me. If she is fine with living like that, then
she should be fine with people saying something about it. Right?
Or am I just being cranky here?
#Post#: 2323--------------------------------------------------
Re: Don't Eat that! (Aka Please Don't Bring Anything)
DIR By: aventurine
Date: March 27, 2012, 12:45 am
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I'm a dreadful housekeeper who is keenly aware of my
shortcomings. I never make food for public consumption. If I
have to contribute, I do as you suggested and volunteer to get
paper goods. If I absolutely must contribute food, I either
make it onsite or get it premade (I'm good at picking up ice,
cold drinks, etc). Before I put 2 and 2 together on my own,
though, I'd have been mortified if someone had point-blank told
me that they wouldn't eat my food due to my housekeeping.
It's tricky, though, because if the person does not have
self-awareness in this area, someone would be doing them a
kindness to find a way to clue them in. If their feelings are
hurt, well, that's collateral damage. I don't know many people
who have the extra money to throw away on food that won't be
eaten. I have no idea how to go about it, though - I can't
think of wording that wouldn't make me want to never be seen in
public again.
#Post#: 2326--------------------------------------------------
Re: Don't Eat that! (Aka Please Don't Bring Anything)
DIR By: Nova Lady
Date: March 27, 2012, 7:45 am
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Yes, that is what I was worried about with my coworker. I don't
want to run from her pointing and yelling "EWWWW, Unclean!!!"
and I am afraid even a kind word or two will that kind of
impression on her.
If she would just use less pressure to get people to eat the
food it would be way better, that way I could not eat it and she
wouldn't notice. At least I have my weird eating habits that I
can blame on not eating her stuff.
#Post#: 2329--------------------------------------------------
Re: Don't Eat that! (Aka Please Don't Bring Anything)
DIR By: WinesWellWithOthers
Date: March 27, 2012, 10:58 am
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I find that there are people, who when invited to events where
there is an option to bring things feel that in order to "pay
back the host" for the invite that they must bring something
homemade. I have found this especially true in the South with
either people who have moved here and are almost trying too hard
to be southern or those who grew up watching their mom take
something homemade.
This is a place where her daughters should step up to the plate
and just tell her the truth.
and LUCKY! I love the steeplechase! Hope you had a wonderful
time!
#Post#: 2343--------------------------------------------------
Re: Don't Eat that! (Aka Please Don't Bring Anything)
DIR By: BagLady
Date: March 27, 2012, 9:20 pm
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I just remembered an episode of the sitcom "Good Times," in
which the Evanses discover that their sweet elderly neighbor,
who has fallen on hard times, has been eating dog food. (Someone
saw the empty cans in her trash, and they knew she didn't have a
dog.)
They took pity on her and invited her to dinner. She didn't want
to come empty-handed, so she brought a meatloaf. Of course,
nobody wanted to eat it, because they assumed it was made of ...
well, you know. They stalled as long as they could, but the
truth came out when their last stalling tactic was to have JJ
say grace. He opened with, "The Lord is my German shepherd ... "
Mrs. Neighbor explained that yes, she was buying dog food for
her own consumption, but no, she was not about to serve it to
other people!
In the OP's case, I don't know if there *is* a polite way to
explain why they won't eat Mrs. Filthyhome's food without a
whole lot of little white lying, and everyone would have to be
careful not to tell the same one.
#Post#: 2350--------------------------------------------------
Re: Don't Eat that! (Aka Please Don't Bring Anything)
DIR By: StarFaerie
Date: March 28, 2012, 4:32 am
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I'm a bit torn on this. For the one where people had been made
sick, it's a no brainer, but for the coworker it's not so
simple.
I am a terrible housekeeper. I do washing up when I absolutely
have to which means when I have run out of lids of things to use
as plates. BUT if I have to cook for an outside event or if
people are coming to my house, I clean everything, top to
bottom. My kitchen will be sparkling before I start and I even
wear a hair net and gloves. Terrible day to day housekeeping
does not always mean their food for external consumption is
prepared unhygienically. (Of course I am also not a talented
cook because i hate it so much so you really wouldn't be all
that interested in anything I cooked anyway LOL)
#Post#: 2365--------------------------------------------------
Re: Don't Eat that! (Aka Please Don't Bring Anything)
DIR By: stars afire
Date: March 28, 2012, 3:12 pm
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Ugh, tough situation. One can only "accidentally" knock the
casserole off the table so many times before she notices.
Why can't her adult daughters be the ones to address the
situation? Someone should pull *them* aside and ask them to
deal with it. If they're not eating the dish, then obviously
they know there's a problem, so it's not like this would shock
them.
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