DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Etiquette forum
HTML https://rletiquette.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Let me entertain you!
*****************************************************
#Post#: 2182--------------------------------------------------
Babies Behind Bars..
DIR By: vTenebrae
Date: March 21, 2012, 9:19 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Am I a completely insensitive a-hole because I really find it
difficult to have a whole heck of a lot of sympathy for the
plights of most of these women? There are some prisons that
have programs where the baby can stay with the mother for the
first 6 months-year of life, if the mom qualifies.
I'm having trouble feeling bad for the moms who have had
multiple babies while in prison, continue to use drugs/commit
multiple felonies, and then cry their eyes out because the kids
end up in foster care. I'm sure it sucks and it's painful, but
I can't feel sorry for someone who refuses to try to change. I
know it's a vicious cycle, but if you really love the kids
you're crying about.. wouldn't you at least TRY to fix your
situation?
I feel bad for the KIDS..
#Post#: 2197--------------------------------------------------
Re: Babies Behind Bars..
DIR By: Wallydraigle
Date: March 21, 2012, 10:56 am
---------------------------------------------------------
My niece's bio-mom is a similar sort of person. She grew up in
foster care, and it was HORRIBLE for her. She told my sister
many times that she wanted something different for Emma, and she
was so glad that people like my sister and her husband were
going to be the ones that raised her. And then when final
custody was about to default to them, she suddenly changed her
mind and decided to try fighting for her daughter. While she was
still in prison. And had had yet ANOTHER baby since then.
I'm very sorry for how badly screwed some people get growing up
in foster care, but at some point the blame passes from the
system to you, an adult.
#Post#: 2443--------------------------------------------------
Re: Babies Behind Bars..
DIR By: DanglyParts
Date: March 31, 2012, 12:21 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I remember when you posted about that on the old forum,
Wallydraigle. My heart about broke for your sister and her
family and I was so pleased when it all got resolved.
Does the bio-mum have any contact with them? Or is she legally
barred?
#Post#: 2460--------------------------------------------------
Re: Babies Behind Bars..
DIR By: Wallydraigle
Date: March 31, 2012, 4:50 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Harbinger link ---
>
> I remember when you posted about that on the old forum,
Wallydraigle. My heart about broke for your sister and her
family and I was so pleased when it all got resolved.
>
> Does the bio-mum have any contact with them? Or is she legally
barred?
>
--- End Quote ---
I don't know. I do know that she no longer has any parental or
visitation rights, and neither does the father. Emma went
through so much *trauma (probably not any severe or frequent
abuse, but definitely some neglect, and the awfulness of being
separated from her loving family at 9? months) that I doubt my
sister and husband would let either of them see her anytime soon
anyway. Every visit with either of them since she went back to
my sister has been followed by days or even weeks of terrible
behavior, clinginess, fear, nightmares, you name it. She is
definitely with the right family, though, and they're proceeding
with the adoption process. Anyway, thank you for asking! She's
definitely got her issues, but she's really turning into a
delightful, sweet kid. The outlook is pretty good for her.
*Before 3 years is actually the worst time for a child to
experience trauma; if it happens then, brain development is
seriously affected, though damage can be lessened or even
reversed by good therapy, so long as it's early enough; if it
happens after 3 years, the parts of the brain that dictate
attachment and emotions have developed enough that the child is
pretty resilient.
#Post#: 2496--------------------------------------------------
Re: Babies Behind Bars..
DIR By: Mrs.E
Date: April 3, 2012, 12:12 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
My parents we foster parents for about 10 years. We never got a
baby that was born in jail but we did end up with a 2 year old,
his one year old twin siblings and a baby straight out of the
hospital. It took 4 years to break the parental rights of this
woman. Broke my heart that these kids never got love from her.
#Post#: 2611--------------------------------------------------
Re: Babies Behind Bars..
DIR By: AnnaKiata
Date: April 11, 2012, 7:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I haven't seen the program, but I do feel some sympathy. Having
gone through some terrible childhood experiences myself, I can
relate that becoming a biological adult doesn't mean that you
are mentally and psychologically grown up, and I believe lots of
people who don't have the skills to be good parents do have the
desire, at least on some level.
However, that sympathy pales against what I feel for the
children, whose best interests should always come first. Too
often, the best interest of the kids seem to be usurped in favor
of parental rights, due process, and other trappings of our
justice system. I think we as a society should focus more on
developing good parenting skills and giving people the
emotional/psychological support they need to be successful
parents, but the parents need to be willing, able, and committed
to making things better. In the meantime, the kids have
absolutely no power to control their environment, and need to be
protected from people who can't/won't give them the loving,
nurturing environment they deserve.
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 1