DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Etiquette forum
HTML https://rletiquette.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Small troubles
*****************************************************
#Post#: 2112--------------------------------------------------
Stop making promises to my child you have no plans on keeping
DIR By: Swan Swan H
Date: March 20, 2012, 5:03 am
---------------------------------------------------------
We live on a small street and have five neighbours. One couple
has a daughter who is two weeks younger than mine. My child is
very keen to have a friendship with pretty much anyone, but of
course another four year old across the street is a very
attractive prospect.
Every time we meet the family on the street they say "we must
get the girls together soon". One Sunday we arranged for my
daughter to go over at a set time, only for them not to be at
home. This led to a very sad then three year old and a very
angry mother of the said three year old. They never mentioned it
again and I decided not to either, and to maintain a cool and
polite relationship with them.
But every time they see us and say that, my daughter gets very
excited and keeps asking me when she can go to play. I am
getting quite annoyed about it, it's like they do not understand
four year old children do not get small talk and polite fiction
and that it's fine to keep essentially lying to her.
I'd love to find a polite way of saying please stop and still
maintain a courteous neighbourly relationship, but I can't find
a way to say it without sounding off. Help!
#Post#: 2118--------------------------------------------------
Re: Stop making promises to my child you have no plans on
keeping
DIR By: Nerdling
Date: March 20, 2012, 9:42 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I don't know if there's any good way to word that, at least not
if you're seeing them while you're with your daughter and
they're with theirs. I think if you catch one of the parents
one-on-one, you might be able to bring it up. Maybe phrase it
as, "I know that when we see each other out, you say, 'Let's get
together sometime' as a nice way to end the conversation.
Unfortunately, *daughter* is at an age where she takes
everything literally, and I haven't been able to explain to her
what polite fictions are, so she gets so excited about having
play dates with your daughter every time we see each other. I
know this is going to sound like a completely ridiculous
request, but while we're working with her on this, would you
mind not mentioning getting together? I'm hoping that this
phase will pass quickly, and I'd really appreciate it."
It's still awkward, but it makes it about them helping you and
about your daughter's development (because kids that age do take
things literally) and not about them saying things they don't
really mean.
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 1