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#Post#: 1841--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Nerdling
Date: March 15, 2012, 10:46 am
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In the circumstances, with a dog who recently had a stroke,
which is a serious medical condition, I don't blame her for
being hesitant to leave the dog at a kennel or alone at home
with period stop-ins by the neighbor. She did not make her
parents drive four hours; if they had not wanted to make the
drive and stay up there, they were free to decline and work out
something else.
You can always set up your Facebook posts so they don't include
her or restrict her from posting on your wall.
#Post#: 1842--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Nova Lady
Date: March 15, 2012, 10:58 am
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So....basically she asked and they said yes. That is both her
right and their right, and she wasn't wrong to do so.
Its not convenient for you, and that sucks....but not everything
needs to be considered in terms of how it effects you. You can
be annoyed that now you'll have the kids with you or come up
with someone else to watch them.
Do you think she purposefully asked for an extra day to keep
them from helping you or something? Maybe she isn't all that
comfortable with the neighbor watching the dog, given the health
issues, why would you begrudge her that.
Really this reads like you want priority because you have
chiiilllldren. And that is likely to leave a bad taste in her
mouth.
#Post#: 1843--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Lisella
Date: March 15, 2012, 11:02 am
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However, she can put the dog in a kennel and she would prefer to
make them drive 4 hours one-way and stay at her house for a week
to watch the dog.
I'm confused, why is it just asking too much for your SIL to
have your parents dogsit her dog that has medical issues, but
its not too much for you to ask them to help you move? After
all, you can easily hire movers the same way she could pay to
put the dog in the kennel.
While your SIL's facebook post might not be the most etiquettely
approved method, entitlement is dripping from your posts here so
if that's coming across the same way on facebook, I understand
her frustration. Your posts here paint yourself as the selfish
one in this situation. You may want to step back and evaluate
your expectations of your family members.
#Post#: 1848--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Izzy
Date: March 15, 2012, 11:18 am
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--- Quote from: Lisella link ---
>
> However, she can put the dog in a kennel and she would prefer
to make them drive 4 hours one-way and stay at her house for a
week to watch the dog.
>
> I'm confused, why is it just asking too much for your SIL to
have your parents dogsit her dog that has medical issues, but
its not too much for you to ask them to help you move? After
all, you can easily hire movers the same way she could pay to
put the dog in the kennel.
>
> While your SIL's facebook post might not be the most
etiquettely approved method, entitlement is dripping from your
posts here so if that's coming across the same way on facebook,
I understand her frustration. Your posts here paint yourself as
the selfish one in this situation. You may want to step back
and evaluate your expectations of your family members.
>
--- End Quote ---
This pretty much says it all. I understand that SIL's FB post
wasn't exactly polite, but if you're expressing your
disappointment with the same language you're using here, I can't
blame her for being frustrated.
Her dog is ill and it is completely reasonable for her to want
to have someone there 24/7 as opposed to shoving her in a
kennel. If you'd asked for help first and received a commitment
from your folks, that would be a different story, but I really
think you just need to accept it and move on.
#Post#: 1854--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Hijinks
Date: March 15, 2012, 1:28 pm
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Easy, guys. She asked them to go on Thursday the 15th through
Sunday the 18th, and said that the neighbor watching the dog was
fine. Then suddenly, after we had arranged for them to keep the
kids through Tuesday night, she wanted them to go on Monday the
12th instead of Thursday the 15th. So they weren't able to
watch the kids as everyone had agreed, which made our moving
twice as hard. Then her snarky post on FB about moving being
hard, when her own decisions were what was making it harder for
us, put me over the edge.
If she was really worried about the dog, IMO she shouldn't be
going on vacation. She can take the dog to MIL's house to be
watched as well, but she doesn't want to make that 4 hour drive.
She expects them to. They are pushovers and let her push them
around, which is none of my business, except that in this
instance it inconvenienced my family when she changed her
wants/needs at the last minute.
I don't have anything against the dog at all, but I do think
she's expecting people to bend over backwards to watch her dog
when she's the one who wanted to go sit on the beach and drink
margaritas (yes, that's exactly what she's doing). If my pet
were sick, I wouldn't be on vacation. She has said that the dog
is "doing much better" so that's why she felt justified in
booking the trip, which tells me that the dog should be fine at
a kennel.
#Post#: 1858--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Lisella
Date: March 15, 2012, 1:53 pm
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So your SIL isn't allowed to go on a vacation until the dog is
well enough to go to a kennel or have neighbors watch him?
Really?
You aren't privy to the innerworkings of your sister's
life--there might be a myriad of reasons why it became evident
that the neighbor watching the dog wasn't going to be
sufficient.
For whatever reason you MIL agreed to watch the dog as needed.
If you have someone to be annoyed with it should be your MIL not
your SIL.
So your OP should have read, "My MIL originally agreed to watch
my children while we moved. She had already promised my SIL
she'd petsit in the days after watching my children and when my
SIL extended the petsitting requirements, rather than stick with
our original plans, MIL changed them in order to accomodate SIL.
This has made things so much harder for us."
Thats' the post appropriate to the situation you are stating.
Your post on the other hand, illustrates that you dislike your
SIL a great deal and gives the impression that you think you are
entitled to more consideration just because you have children.
And if its so easy to kennel the dog, why isn't it just as easy
for you to hire a babysitter or some movers?
#Post#: 1859--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Nerdling
Date: March 15, 2012, 2:00 pm
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With your update, I think Lisella hit the nail on the head here.
If your in-laws are pushovers, then your beef here on the
babysitting thing is with them, not your sister-in-law.
#Post#: 1860--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: MonkeyPants
Date: March 15, 2012, 2:09 pm
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So are you saying that your SIL purposely screwed you over?
#Post#: 1869--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: hot_shaker
Date: March 15, 2012, 5:15 pm
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--- Quote from: Lisella link ---
> For whatever reason you MIL agreed to watch the dog as needed.
If you have someone to be annoyed with it should be your MIL
not your SIL.
>
> So your OP should have read, "My MIL originally agreed to
watch my children while we moved. She had already promised my
SIL she'd petsit in the days after watching my children and when
my SIL extended the petsitting requirements, rather than stick
with our original plans, MIL changed them in order to accomodate
SIL. This has made things so much harder for us."
--- End Quote ---
I think this is it exactly. Your SIL made plans with your MIL,
you also made your plans with your MIL, and then your MIL chose
to change her agreement with you. Your MIL should have honored
the agreement the made with you.
I'm not sure of your moving logistics but would you have chosen
a different weekend to move is she hadn't been available? If so,
then what she did was really crappy.
#Post#: 1873--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Nova Lady
Date: March 15, 2012, 7:18 pm
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I couldn't agree more with Lisele.
I don't understand why there is so much anger towards your
sister, when it is really your in laws that are choosing to
inconvenience you. They could have told her no, she cannot
physically force them to drive 4 hours to her house a few days
earlier. They are the ones screwing you over with the over. It
sounds like you're bitter about your sister's vacation
inconveniencing you. It does suck that your parents flaked on
watching your kids, but its not your sister's fault... it is
your parents. I think your anger is entirely misplaced here.
Also, you really sound like you feel like what you have going on
is so much more important than your sister's life. It may be to
you....but it isn't to her. And it seems it isn't to your
parents either...aim your upset at them.
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