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#Post#: 1766--------------------------------------------------
My sister-in-law
DIR By: Hijinks
Date: March 14, 2012, 3:52 pm
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She is a major piece of work.
She has no children, so her dog is her baby. Which is fine with
me, since my cat is one of my babies, BUT.
The dog had a stroke right before Christmas so they didn't come
visit (they live one state away). However, since "the dog is
doing okay" now, but apparently needs someone there with her
every single minute of the day, they are going on vacation this
week.
Unfortunately for me, they asked my mother- and father-in-law to
watch the dog while they were on vacay, the same week that my
husband and I are moving house with two small children. I asked
if MIL/FIL could help with the kids and they came up last
weekend, although they were actually more hindrance than a help
b/c we had to answer to them if we were taking too long at the
old house, and they couldn't do anything without us telling them
what and where.
Originally MIL/FIL were going to take the kids Friday night and
bring them back Tuesday night. However, apparently my SIL
demanded that they go to watch the dog on Monday, even though
her neighbor was going to be checking on the dog every day.
Because SIL asked the parents to watch the dog before we asked
them to help watch the kids while we moved, she apparently got
the right to have them whenever she wanted.
The part that has me irked is that when I posted on Facebook
that "moving with 2 kids is hard," SIL had to post "I heard Mom
& Dad were there to help and everyone has a hard time moving,
not just you" or something similar. I am really having to bite
my tongue to keep from saying something that I would regret.
#Post#: 1779--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: GLaDOS
Date: March 14, 2012, 5:32 pm
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I wouldn't say she had the "right" to have them whenever, but I
do think if they had already agreed to watch the dog before you
asked for help, that the earlier promise takes priority absent
emergencies. I'm sorry she snarked at your FB post though, your
status wasn't a jab at her so that was completely unnecessary.
#Post#: 1783--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: MonkeyPants
Date: March 14, 2012, 8:08 pm
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I would never leave my dog and just have someone pop in and out,
even if they were 100% healthy.
Your SIL asked first, they couldn't back out.
#Post#: 1808--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Nova Lady
Date: March 15, 2012, 7:54 am
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I can see her point here though. Your parents agreed to watch
her dog first, so why should you needs trump hers if you asked
2nd?
I think it's a good thing your parents are keeping the
commitment to your sister. If they didn't and dumped it in order
to assist you with your kids, I think that would be pretty
crappy.
As for her comment on facebook, that was a little snarky...but
again true. Moving is hard, with no children or 10 children, and
if you make a lot of comments about how difficult things are
with children it can really wear on someone's patience. It might
make her feel like your request should trump hers, because of
the kids....when really it doesn't.
#Post#: 1812--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Swan Swan H
Date: March 15, 2012, 8:47 am
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--- Quote from: Nova Lady link ---
>
> I can see her point here though. Your parents agreed to watch
her dog first, so why should you needs trump hers if you asked
2nd?
>
> I think it's a good thing your parents are keeping the
commitment to your sister. If they didn't and dumped it in order
to assist you with your kids, I think that would be pretty
crappy.
>
> As for her comment on facebook, that was a little snarky...but
again true. Moving is hard, with no children or 10 children, and
if you make a lot of comments about how difficult things are
with children it can really wear on someone's patience. It might
make her feel like your request should trump hers, because of
the kids....when really it doesn't.
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree. The FB comment wasn't particularly nice, but the
commitment to her was first, so you're parents should do the
right thing and honour that.
#Post#: 1814--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Nerdling
Date: March 15, 2012, 9:07 am
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I agree with everyone else. MIL and FIL made the commitment to
watch the dog first; therefore, yes, they needed to work out
with SIL first when she needed their assistance. If the shoe
were on the other foot and they agreed to watch your kids,
wouldn't you be upset if they later said, "Oh, I know we said
we'd do this, but SIL needs us to watch her dog, so we're going
to need to work watching the kids around her schedule"?
As for the FB status, it was snarky, but, yes, your best bet is
to ignore it.
#Post#: 1834--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Hijinks
Date: March 15, 2012, 10:33 am
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Oh absolutely, I told her at the beginning that she had dibs on
them. However, she can put the dog in a kennel and she would
prefer to make them drive 4 hours one-way and stay at her house
for a week to watch the dog. That bugs me. Also she had agreed
to have the neighbor watch the dog until the 16th but then she
suddenly decided that wasn't good enough and asked Mom & Dad to
go early, rather than help us.
My main irk is at the FB post :)
#Post#: 1838--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Giggle Loop
Date: March 15, 2012, 10:40 am
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If I understand correctly, she asked them to watch the dog
before you asked for help with the kids IN GENERAL; however, she
asked them to watch the dog on Monday AFTER you asked for help
with the kids on Monday. Is that correct? If so, then no, she
doesn't have dibs on them for that day.
And her snarky comment is just ridiculous.
#Post#: 1839--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: MonkeyPants
Date: March 15, 2012, 10:41 am
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--- Quote ---
> Oh absolutely, I told her at the beginning that she had dibs
on them. However, she can put the dog in a kennel and she would
prefer to make them drive 4 hours one-way and stay at her house
for a week to watch the dog. That bugs me. Also she had agreed
to have the neighbor watch the dog until the 16th but then she
suddenly decided that wasn't good enough and asked Mom & Dad to
go early, rather than help us.
>
>
--- End Quote ---
She isn't making them do anything, she asked, they agreed. It
seems like you are the one who has a huge problem with it, not
them. The dog had a stroke, being in a kennel for a week could
hurt it. Dogs do not like being alone, and they don't like being
with strangers. It's not good enough to have the neighbor pop in
a few times a day. You need to get over it, and if this is your
attitude, I'm not sure her FB message was that far out of line.
#Post#: 1840--------------------------------------------------
Re: My sister-in-law
DIR By: Swan Swan H
Date: March 15, 2012, 10:44 am
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But that does not matter. They have made the commitment and it
is up to you to make other arrangements. What ever they have
arranged, they have arranged and that is what you will have to
deal with.
Her FB post was kind of rude, but it also had some truth to is.
Moving is hard, regardless of whether or not you have children.
And finally, I would never ever leave a dog for any length of
time when someone would just check on it daily. She has
perfectly valid reason to ask them to come around to look after
him. Dogs generally do not do well left on their own for any
extended period of time.
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